General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsChristian website: Don’t look at your wife’s face during sex to enjoy it even when she resists
A Christian website that gives advice to couples about how to live by the Bibles gender roles recently advised men that they should not look at their wives faces during sex if she engaged in intercourse begrudgingly.
In a column on the BiblicalGenderRoles.com website last week, a writer going by the name Larry Solomon argued that men should not tolerate refusal.
According to the Christian columnist, women who did not like having sex with their husbands should fake it until she makes it.
*Focus your eyes on her body, not her face. Focus on the visual pleasure you receive from looking at her body and physical pleasure you receive from being inside your wife, Solomon recommended. You want to connect with her physically AND emotionally during sex. But your wife is the one refusing to connect with you emotionally, so you have to concentrate 100% on the physical side.
Solomon said that men should think of unwilling wives like Medusa, the mythical Greek monster who could turn men to stone if they looked upon her face.
I know you love your wife, most men love their wives. But sin is ugly, the writer remarked. Your beautiful brides face becomes ugly during this sinful time that she is grudgingly giving you sex as she grimaces wanting you to just hurry up and get it over with.
In a column earlier this year, Solomon insisted that there was no such thing as marital rape.
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/10/christian-website-dont-look-at-your-wifes-face-during-sex-to-enjoy-it-even-when-she-resists/
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)TYY
Warpy
(111,254 posts)and if he rapes his wife, he could be sitting in jail for a long time.
Adrahil
(13,340 posts)tblue37
(65,340 posts)InAbLuEsTaTe
(24,122 posts)Ilsa
(61,694 posts)Solomon needs to consider if Jesus would do such a disgusting thing, or would he tell Solomon to have patience and understanding? Jesus might tell him to practice celebacy for a short while, and instead, apply himself towards becoming sanctified.
3catwoman3
(23,975 posts)...reprehensible.
"Men should not tolerate refusal." WTF? Women should not tolerate men who think like this.
niyad
(113,279 posts)somebody needs to talk to your wife, pronto.
damnedifIknow
(3,183 posts)He actually has followers? Oh hell no.
sub.theory
(652 posts)That's revolting. There is nothing Christian about that. That's rape, and God doesn't rape. I can't stand these people acting like God condones their evil. Lord, protect us from your "followers".
atreides1
(16,076 posts)From your understanding of Christianity...unfortunately not every Christian shares your definition!
cleanhippie
(19,705 posts)AKA the Bible.
sub.theory
(652 posts)Another anti-Christian bigot. Thanks for stopping by...
cleanhippie
(19,705 posts)Criticizing an idea/belief is not bigotry.
Project much?
Response to cleanhippie (Reply #59)
Post removed
cleanhippie
(19,705 posts)hunter
(38,311 posts)If adult sex isn't great fun for everyone participating, then maybe you're not doing it right.
Crunchy Frog
(26,579 posts)and I know that there's plenty of rape in the Bible, at least the OT. I'm not aware of any Bible passages that promote marital rape, though. I haven't read the entire thing, so maybe I've missed something. If you know of any such passages, maybe you could point me to them.
Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)From the NT:
Husbands and wives should have sex whenever and however their spouse wants. Romans 7:3
From the OT:
God is angry at David for having Uriah killed. As a punishment, he will have David's wives raped by his neighbor while everyone else watches. It turns out that the "neighbor" that God sends to do his dirty work is David's own son, Absalom (16:22). 2 Samuel 12:11-12
More from the OT:
If you see a pretty woman among the captives and would like her for a wife, then just bring her home and "go in unto her." Later, if you decide you don't like her, you can "let her go." Deuteronomy 21:11-14
If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's doorstep. Deuteronomy 22:13-21
."If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die." Deuteronomy 22:22
If a betrothed virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "the men of the city shall stone her to death." Deuteronomy 22:23-24
If a woman is raped in the country, then only the man shall die (since there was no one to hear her if she cried out.) Deuteronomy 22:25
If a man rapes an unbetrothed virgin, he must pay her father 50 shekels of silver and then marry her. Deuteronomy 22:28
Crunchy Frog
(26,579 posts)It applies to both husbands and wives, and doesn't mention or imply force, IMO.
I acknowledged in my earlier post that the OT is full of rape, and you provide some good examples. There's not anything there actually advocating forced sex within marriage. The abduction of women in wartime doesn't really qualify as conventionally defined marriage, even by OT standards.
As horrifying as it sounds to modern sensibilities, the bit about a rapist marrying his victim was intended as a sort of "you broke it, you buy it" provision; a means of ensuring that an otherwise unmarriagiable woman would still be provided for.
I still don't personally see the textual endorsement of rape within conventionally defined marriage in the Bible, but YMMV. The nature of the Bible is such that people can wring support for pretty much any positions that they may hold.
Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)Ok, so if you are a Christian and you literally believe what's in the Bible (don't know which version you prefer, with or without Apocrypha, or what translation), do you think that it is HONORING and CHERISHING your partner to demand sex from them when they feel terribly sick, say, have the flu, or pneumonia, or if they are a woman, having horrendous menstrual cramps, bedridden, and feeling weak from losing so much blood?
You say it doesn't mention or IMPLY force. Well, if I was married to someone who insisted that I have sex with them when I was quite ill, I would file for divorce as soon as I got better, because obviously that man (I'm a woman) does NOT CARE about my feelings at that time. That is not loving, honoring and cherishing your spouse. Besides, what if the woman refuses, yet you say there is no "force" involved? Not even implied? How do you get a spouse to consent to sex if they don't feel like it unless you use some kind of coercion?
What is force?? Holding a gun to your head? Whining constantly at you until you give in? Yelling at you until you give in? Kicking the bed? (Yes, I have known people who do this.) Pouring water on you while you're lying in bed? Accusing you of faking being sick just "to get attention" when you are in so much pain you wish you would just hurry up and die? Although I just laid there and suffered whether he was in the room or not. (I've heard that one too from an ex-husband.)
Threatening violence?
That said, we all know that Paul was a woman hater who was responsible for a lot of the patriarchal idea of the inferiority of women in Christianity. Not only is god a mass murderer, but men who oppress women and girls and tell them they are chattel and inferior, well, god is fine with that too, because the bible says so. Because it's a huge mess assembled by a committee at the Council of Nicaea as ordered to by Emperor Constantine, and it was edited to add and remove things. I learned that in my religion courses at a Protestant college (not one of these fringe denominations).
LeftyMom
(49,212 posts)God-ordered rape. Rape of barely pubescent virgins. Genocidal rape. Rape of war captives. Rape of blood relatives. Even the new testament opens with the rape of a barely adolescent girl.
Generic Other
(28,979 posts)And here's to you Mrs. Solomon, heaven holds a place for those who fake it until you make it!!!
cloudbase
(5,513 posts)polly7
(20,582 posts)If these people didn't have a book to blame/base their sickness on, those women would see them as they should - as serial rapists.
d_r
(6,907 posts)is wrong with these people? How can somebody write that shit and other people read it?
Power an control!
cleanhippie
(19,705 posts)Marie Marie
(9,999 posts)while I take a long hot shower. Another "Christian" pervert who thinks women were put on this earth for his pleasure and amusement. I'll just bet his wife's face does become ugly and grimacing as this a-hole mauls her. Sicko!
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)So there are two very serious consequences these men could face for following the advice to rape.
Duppers
(28,120 posts)PoS Christian website. The saddest thing is that there are people that really think this way. Anything to suppress women. Bible says....lots of assholy things.
Skittles
(153,156 posts)dmr
(28,347 posts)Damn! Crazy assholes are coming out of the woodwork!
If a man thinks this way, I'm sure he has physically, mentally & emotionally abused his wife multiple times.
There is no love or caring with that lifestyle.
notadmblnd
(23,720 posts)You know? The kinda chocolate pie the housekeeper made the snotty, spoiled rich woman in the movie titled "The Help."
on edit.
Nah, I probably wouldn't. I wouldn't be or stay with a man like that to begin with.
Rex
(65,616 posts)It treats women as objects then pretends that is okay. Bottom line. Doesn't take a book on this. Some Christians are authoritarian assholes and probably should not have children and pass on their views of owning people as being okay. Some invisible being said so.
damnedifIknow
(3,183 posts)Don't look at your wife's face? Is this a joke? So in order to follow this advice I guess an issue of Field & Stream is mandatory when going to bed.
Rex
(65,616 posts)Said person that wrote 'thou shalt not behold thine wives face'...looked at his wives face (for once) and it looked like this...
Just my gut reaction to this story...
SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)is a clear and present danger to the entirety of the human species. An assertion that is proven each and every day all around the world. And where there is any kind of religion there will ALWAYS be fundymentalpatients.
niyad
(113,279 posts)BlueJazz
(25,348 posts)...ack..never mind..shit!
NCjack
(10,279 posts)how to build a solid case for divorce. There are millions of DEM men who will love you tenderly.
niyad
(113,279 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)is one of the primary missions of any fundy church, regardless of which perpetually pissed-off and crazy imaginary skydaddy they think they're appeasing.
Skittles
(153,156 posts)it's conditioned
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)Vinca
(50,269 posts)niyad
(113,279 posts)Vinca
(50,269 posts)leftyladyfrommo
(18,868 posts)That's awful.
Can you imagine being married to someone like rhat?
trumad
(41,692 posts)She once opened them and screamed!
ProfessorGAC
(65,010 posts)Proof that anybody can have a website that others will actually use for advice.
niyad
(113,279 posts)may you receive everything you deserve.
Jesus warned over and over not to be a Pharisee. Those who claim to serve God while doing evil will receive the ultimate punishment.
bullwinkle428
(20,629 posts)Quackers
(2,256 posts)Heres a little of what he has to say about himself...
While I do not have a degree in theology I have studied the Scriptures in high school and for most of my adult life(so about 25 years). I have read through the entire Bible several times and I have memorized many portions of the Scripture. While I was in college I studied the Greek and Hebrew languages but I do not claim to be a scholar in these areas.
hamsterjill
(15,220 posts)I mean really...to have to WRITE about this? Good grief!
damnedifIknow
(3,183 posts)If you have sex they will tell you how and with who. They really need to focus on different things in life besides who the hell someone is sleeping with and just how they do it.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)for how incredibly screwed-up that thinking is.
Jebus-wheezers, what else can you expect?
Mendocino
(7,488 posts)What else will these cretins use to justify by religion? It is nothing but control.
Humanist_Activist
(7,670 posts)misogynist asshole!
restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)that makes me glad I left the Christian church years ago. By the way, only a few weeks until Diwali!
lunatica
(53,410 posts)I wonder about such people. Is he trying to make himself a big and bad man or is he really just a piece of shit his wife won't have sex with?
Response to damnedifIknow (Original post)
misterhighwasted This message was self-deleted by its author.
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)lpbk2713
(42,757 posts)A thumper giving out advice on intimate relations is like
PeeWee Herman giving out advice on neurosurgery.
niyad
(113,279 posts)rug
(82,333 posts)= snip =
With all that being said I will let you in on this general information about me.
I am a early forties,white male. I live in the United States.
I was divorced from my first wife(whom I had some children with) after she committed adultery. I have since remarried and my wife and I our raising my children together(I share joint custody with my ex). My wife and I with our children are members of and attend a Baptist Church.
http://biblicalgenderroles.com/about/
niyad
(113,279 posts)rug
(82,333 posts)niyad
(113,279 posts)bkkyosemite
(5,792 posts)moosemike
(14 posts)He's obviously some loon.
niyad
(113,279 posts)cleanhippie
(19,705 posts)They are just following what they believe their God has decreed. Who are you, who am I, so say that it's wrong, when it's based on their personal beliefs?
Initech
(100,068 posts)He probably doesn't want to!
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)joeybee12
(56,177 posts)Snobblevitch
(1,958 posts)47of74
(18,470 posts)These people do not worship Jesus Christ. They instead worship Jeeeeeeeeeezus who is a sick pervert just like they are.
HassleCat
(6,409 posts)I dated a woman who grimaced. At a particular moment, she scrunched her face into the most interesting expression. I don't remember her as being a reluctant partner, though.
L. Coyote
(51,129 posts)OMG!!
If you are a woman who believes this, rethink your reality.
Tree-Hugger
(3,370 posts)Many women do believe this. And many of them are young. They are raised in households obsessed with purity and modesty and they believe men like this fucknut are desirable.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)Calista241
(5,586 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)the wife in the relationship THINKS HE SUCKS AT SEX! He must be a LOUSY LOVER! All the 'problems' described are from a man that is shitty in bed and doesn't care about his partner's NEEDS!
What a sack of shit! No wonder his wife HATES HIM!
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)Hint: if you're worried that your partner isn't happy about having sex at the very moment, maybe you should have sex alone instead.
Tree-Hugger
(3,370 posts)Pigs are adorable and intelligent.
This man is a rapist. Thank God his first wife escaped. No wonder she cheated on him.I hope the second wife is strong.