Need some advice, it's something of an emergency

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

My son lives homeless in San Jose, California. I live in Florida. He messaged me from the library that his bag was stolen and his phone and all of his I.D. is gone. I can't wire him money, because without identification he can't pick it up. I've ordered him a birth certificate, but it won't get here till next week.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice on what he should do? We could only text for 15 minutes because he didn't have his library card. Yep, it was in the stolen bag. I am trying to research some ideas, and he will contact me at 5.

I'm not asking for anything other than advice and ideas. He seems terrified.

[BeeBee]

1. I'm sorry I don't have any great ideas, but please make sure it's him...

There are a lot of scams where people pretend to be a son or grandson in another state or country.

Good Luck!

[riderinthestorm]

2. Get a police report for the theft of ID

wouldnt that be enough to get the money?

I know that's sufficient for the airlines and most every place, perhaps it would work for the $ transfer?

I don't know but K&R for visibility and a hug for both of you...

[Warpy]

29. That's a first step, certainly

Documents can be overnighted to General Delivery, the police report will allow him to pick them up.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

3. Oh it's him

He texted words that he uses with me. Was completely familiar.

[pnwmom]

19. A thief would be able to read old texts and know how to say things like your son does.

So I wouldn't trust texts. Only the sound of your son's voice, which you know.

At the very least, ask him something from his childhood that he would know but that would NOT be on any of the papers in his bag or any of the texts in his phone.

Like the name of his first grade teacher. Or the address of the house where you lived when he was in fourth grade. Or why he had to go to the emergency room in 6th.

If he's really your son, he won't be offended by your wanting to make sure of his identity, given the circumstances. Don't let a thief guilt-trip you by acting offended.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

22. He easily answered 3 questions only he would know just now.

He has gotten to a friend's house and will call me tomorrow.

[Quayblue]

23. please let us know if he calls

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

26. He said he would call tomorrow

It was after midnight when I got his texts and he thought it would be too late to call. I feel confident it is him. None of the stuff I asked him would be in his bag. The unusual name of the dog we had when he was a boy and what he called his two grandmas (also unusual).

[Quayblue]

30. okay Lady

I'm glad yall have a good relationship.

[cwydro]

36. Not sure how he'd be using a library if it was that late.

As other posters have advised, make sure it is really him.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

37. After midnight in Florida

9 pm in California. By that point, he was at a friend's house. I have spoken to him since, and he is okay.

[cwydro]

38. Glad to hear he's ok.

Losing ID etc. is just a horrible thing to deal with even if one is not homeless.

[Samantha]

24. Could you wire the money to the friend? (n/t)

[pnwmom]

25. Good. That makes me feel better. I hope you can help him!

[darkangel218]

4. Have him go to a police station and report what happened

They should be able to help him get at least a temporary ID/put him in contact with social services

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

7. I'll suggest that

I was also thinking his doctor's office might have copies. He is HIV positive and has lost his meds, too.

[MineralMan]

5. Tough situation.

Does he have any friends with ID he can trust? You could send money that way.

Otherwise, he may have to rely on homeless shelter services until he can re-establish his ID. They may also have some ideas that can help with your sending funds. That's probably his best bet at this time, I'm afraid.

[4139]

6. If there is a church in your area that has a strong homeless outreach program...

...I would ask them for ideas as they may have seen similar situations before.

[Contrary1]

8. Maybe you could buy him a plane or bus ticket after explaining the situation...

Do you have a copy of his birth certificate? Maybe you could send a picture of that along with a photo of your son to show as ID when he claimed the ticket.

I would also call my bank and credit card company for advice. They have probably come across a situation like this before.

[pnwmom]

20. Any bank would advise this alarmed father that he should require more evidence

before believing these texts are from his son. Whoever stole the phone has access to all the saved texts, so it wouldn't be hard to send the dad a text that sounded like it came from the son. And the texts and other contents of the bag no doubt contain many details of the son's life.

He needs to hear his son's voice in person.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

27. Or even his alarmed mother...

Smile.

[pnwmom]

28. Caring parents are so vulnerable. Caring grandparents, too.

I hope you can help him.

[Prism]

9. A few things

First, he absolutely must report it to the police. It creates a report on file in case his ID is used in the future commission of a crime. The police also will know how to solve the money dilemma and what he will need.

Let me know if there's anything I can do. I'm social services in Oakland.

[Nay]

10. I'd like to add one thing, after my brother had his experience. He had the habit

of carrying all his ID (dr lic, 2 passports, BC, etc.) in a small bank deposit bag. He'd go from one place to another, carrying this bag. Naturally, one day he left the bag somewhere and it was all lost. He replaced the stuff, bought another bag, and -- soon lost that bag and all his stuff AGAIN.

As a way to prevent loss in the future, maybe you could buy him a wallet and encourage him to keep his important ID on his person? He would be much less likely to lose important stuff that way.

[daredtowork]

11. He should call 211

And ask for resources for homeless people in the area. There should be some wrap-around service that can set him up with a new ID, etc

I think he does need to file the police report first.

[Liberal_in_LA]

21. yes,homeless services will help with the ID

[grasswire]

12. he CAN pick up cash at Western Union without ID.

Here's how:

YOU specify when you pay for a transfer that the recipient will have NO ID. You arrange a test question that he will answer. "What is your pet name" or something like that.

This is how WU does it. I have done it many times for a family member who lost his ID.

There may be a dollar limit for sending to no ID, but if so it is $400 or something like that.

Go to a Western Union site with cash in hand. I don't think you can do this over the Internet or phone with a credit card.

[PoliticAverse]

14. I've seen other people say you can do that but there is no mention anywhere I can find...

on the Western Union website. When was the last time you successfully did this?

[tosh]

16. Try this link...

https://www.westernunion.com/us/en/security-center/security-qa.html

[grasswire]

17. within a year

My family member had moved to FL, lost all his ID. No established bank acct at that time, either. So for nearly a year he took his work pay via paypal, I drew it out from paypal and sent it to him via WU. No problem except for the daily limit of I think 400 bucks so they can stem any fraud. And taking cash to the WU to send it.

[Alfalfa]

31. I can confirm that for smaller amounts they don't always require ID

[lamp_shade]

13. Tell him to go to the police. Read this....

http://www.snopes.com/fraud/distress/family.asp

[nichomachus]

15. Have him contact the Health Trust in San Jose

This is an agency to help HIV+ people in need. They may have the resources to do something.

http://healthtrust.org/services/aids-services/

[pnwmom]

18. THE THIEF MIGHT BE THE ONE TEXTING YOU. Ask him to call you back -- COLLECT -- so you can hear his voice.

Phone services are different now but it is still possible to "reverse charges" and make a collect call.

The thief who stole your son's bag and phone has access to a ton of personal info, including photos of friends, family members, and names. And access to his texts would give the thief access to your son's speech patterns. The thief could see previous texts from your son to you, so would be able to mimic them. Don't rely on the person naming names of family members or "sounding" in texts like your son.


Good luck!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collect_call

AT&T operates a collect call service for the United States. The number for collect calls is 1-800-225-5288 (1-800-CALL-ATT). This number can be called and used from mobile phones as well as land-line phones. The service, however, cannot make calls to VoIP numbers like Vonage or T-Mobile's @Home service. Competitors include 1-800-COLLECT, which does serve VoIP receivers.[11]

[eppur_se_muova]

32. Of all those, the library card should be easiest to replace.

Then at least he should be able to communicate with you better (I assume he needed the library card to use their network or computers).

I'm pretty sure they will give you a new card on the spot, just change the tracking number. It might be harder if he can't give a permanent home address.

[cwydro]

33. Yeah, I agree.

I've never had a problem replacing a library card.

[seveneyes]

34. Maybe it's just me but I would fly him home to Florida

And then get everything sorted out. Homeless in Cali is no way to live if one has family elsewhere.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

40. We have tried this

He stays about 6 months then thinks he can go back and make it. He hates Florida.

[Sunlei]

35. like the other posters said, the thief may be texting, have him call you collect.

He can also go into any police station and they can help him.

Do you want him to come home? or does he want to come home?

If he's been homeless, living on streets for years he may just want cash or like the other poster said, its a scam for western union money.

[ljm2002]

39. He doesn't need a ID to get money wired to him...

...use Western Union with a code word that you give him.

I've done it before, last time was about 2 years ago so it still should be an option.