Walker Assures G.O.P. Voters He Is as Horrible as Trump
MADISON, WISCONSIN (The Borowitz Report) – Serving notice that he intends to go toe-to-toe with the controversial real-estate mogul, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker used the official announcement of his Presidential candidacy to assure Republican voters that he is as horrible as Donald Trump.
“Donald Trump has grabbed a lot of headlines over the past few weeks by spewing bigotry and venom,” Walker told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters. “I want to make it clear that when it comes to those things, I take a back seat to no one.”
Concluding his speech with a line that triggered a standing ovation, Walker said, “To those who thought Donald Trump was the only sociopath in the race, let me say this: not anymore.”
Prior to his announcement, aides to the Wisconsin governor had privately fretted that by establishing his identity as an arrogant and ill-informed merchant of hatred, Trump had appropriated Walker’s brand.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/walker-assures-g-o-p-voters-he-is-as-horrible-as-trump
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