Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day

[onehandle]

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NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan's Trump Tower to start the day.

According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.

"God, look at this thing," said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. "Pitiful."

Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.

http://www.theonion.com/article/donald-trump-stares-forlornly-at-tiny-aged-penis-i-28589

[tymorial]

1. We should be better than this.

When republicans have attacked Hillary over her looks or weight, liberals are responded with outrage. I remember a specific case when Clinton was Secretary of State and she went without makeup. I realize this article is satire but Trump has said and done more than enough for critical commentary that doesn't require celebrating pretend articles that attack his masculinity. I find it childish and rather hypocritical. I feel the same way about Christie and his weight. Trump is an arrogant sleazy blow hard. Attack that.