General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDesperate Residents of Austin Completely Surrounded by Texas
AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) In a deepening humanitarian crisis, residents of the city of Austin report that they are completely surrounded by Texas, a situation that locals are calling dire.
Austin has traditionally enjoyed freedoms as a semi-autonomous region, hosting film festivals and literary events without the interference of its hostile neighbors, but there are growing fears that those days may be coming to an end.
Alarmingly, citizens of Austin report, extremists within the city limits have taken over the Capitol Building and installed a militant government with dominion over its residents.
In recent days, Austin has made desperate requests for assistance to the U.S. military, which will be conducting exercises in Texas in July.
MORE HERE:
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desperate-residents-of-austin-completely-surrounded-by-texas
longship
(40,416 posts)R&
libdem4life
(13,877 posts)Wounded Bear
(58,682 posts)or at least that's what I've heard.
libdem4life
(13,877 posts)Wounded Bear
(58,682 posts)and the fight to let them continue to do so is a worthy one.
libdem4life
(13,877 posts)got through that, the rest was easier.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)to bring help to these poor souls?
Gotta love Borowitz!
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)mountain grammy
(26,641 posts)getting rid of a bunch of libruls and hippies.
moondust
(20,002 posts)if it wasn't surrounded by Texas.
niyad
(113,498 posts)clarice
(5,504 posts)dumbcat
(2,120 posts)clarice
(5,504 posts)Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)We have entirely too much normal boring predictable stuff in East Texas, in my opinion.
We need to import some of that Austin weirdness.
The major public health crisis here that I see is death by boredom.
The major physical injury is when the sidewalks roll up at five o'clock, and rebound and hit you in the ass.
Sad but true.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)zappaman
(20,606 posts)If Texas secedes from the union, look for Austin to secede from Texas.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)kinda like Singapore or what Hong Kong used to be.
Xipe Totec
(43,890 posts)ananda
(28,873 posts)Xipe Totec
(43,890 posts)mountain grammy
(26,641 posts)But Boulder is, for the most part, a well run city, even with the disruptive influence of party hardy CU. It withstands recessions better than most of Colorado. It's far and away healthier, cleaner and just nicer than rabid, right wing Colorado Springs.
X_Digger
(18,585 posts)Now Fort Worth...
UTUSN
(70,721 posts)It's not all that Liberal, it's where young people from other places get their first taste of Epicureanism, not well thought out, laced with whatever the current recreational enhancer, all under an umbrella of mutuality that is less tolerance than it is permission. It was a pretty little town, but it swelled up like a tick with more and more drop-outs from "the party school" slipping from whatever "philosophy" they started from to metamorphose into slackers then hangers-on, just never leaving. As for the politics, along with everything else, it's a matter of what is faddishly kewl for the moment, too kewl to be reliably Democratic, more like Libertarian, too often splitting the Left vote, even also to nihilistic non-voting. Hence, with other non-voting minorities, a Red state that would not be Red if all or most of the eligible voters voted.
Worse, "Hollywood" discovered it, and readers of the New Yorker (link in O.P. --- BOROWITZ is great btw).
Hangingon
(3,071 posts)UTUSN
(70,721 posts)rurallib
(62,432 posts)Give it a real confusing and misleading name like Jade Helm.
Work in conjunction with someone trusted by Texans like Walmart.
Yep, it could be brought down in just a few days and Austin could become the capitol!
do i need this?
hobbit709
(41,694 posts)Zorra
(27,670 posts)fine music.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)it's also perpetuating the myth that Austin is the only blue part of Texas. And DUers lap it up like The Word.
http://observer.com/2012/11/the-purple-election-map/
Hmm, looks like there are some parts of Texas bluer than Austin.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)kentauros
(29,414 posts)It is a beautiful city, and just different enough from the rest of the Hill Country to set itself apart. I guess it's a good thing that no one but us natives know about the better spots in the state, even with helpful maps colored in purple and blue
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)tradition. Austin likes the Weird® moniker, but is very suspicious of the counter culture no matter who is in office. Big real estate and corporate giveaways in the form of waiving millions in development fees and other incentives is alive and well in Austin. Some of the progs here think donning a tie-dyed t-shirt and line dancing to Michael Jackson qualify as being progressive. I think it draws flies.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Goobernor Perry surrounded the city with toll roads, gave over the ownership/operation to a foreign company, and what $ is left over goes to the general fund, not to construction costs. The corporation is losing money, but has the option of selling back the whole mess to the state without losing money.
hobbit709
(41,694 posts)If you look at the the traffic about 90% of the people don't.
Said company was begging the state to make up the difference between what their projected revenue and their actual intake is.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)ghostsinthemachine
(3,569 posts)Love that guy and his steel guitar player is incredible.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Austin flew under the radar for years: $100 - $200/semester at U.T., $110/ mo for an efficiency, cheapest city in the nation. And did so for years, with only hippies passing the word around between Ann Arbor, Gainesville, Athens etc. What broke it open was PBS's "Austin City Limits" with Willie, Waylon & the Boys. Even blue collar folks were up on Austin after that show got rolling.
Cheap stuff is gone, college kids snared to a lifetime of debt, unbelieveable rent and prop. taxes, utterly dysfunctional transportation, and folks who give you a blank stare when you say "how do?" Even BBQ has been made into an exotic with commensurate prices. Perhaps worse is the loss of political agency: It's now hep to be apathetic. God the old atmosphere and the crumbling reputation didn't spring forth from the head of Zorro. It was Battled for.
I've thought of moving back to Florida where I was raised. No need. Florida seems to have found me out here.