Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence

[geardaddy]

http://www.theonion.com/article/wealthy-teen-nearly-experiences-consequence-2551?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus

SOMERSET, NJ—In what local authorities are calling a "near tragedy," Charles Wentworth, a 17-year-old Rutgers Preparatory senior and member of the affluent Wentworth family, came perilously close to suffering a consequence resulting from his own wrongdoing Saturday.
Wentworth, reportedly ignoring the protests of his classmates, got behind the wheel of his turbocharged Supra 2000GT after consuming half the contents of a bottle of Goldschläger at a friend's party. While driving westbound on Route 27, a disoriented Wentworth drifted across two lanes of traffic and collided with a minivan carrying a family of four, bringing the teen face-to-face with a potentially life-altering lesson.

Wentworth escaped unscathed and unpunished, however, when his airbags deployed and a team of high-powered attorneys rushed to the scene and rescued him from the brink of personal responsibility.

"Amazingly, Mr. Wentworth did not experience a single repercussion for consuming alcohol under age or operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, and is furthermore completely unaware that he did anything wrong," local police chief Marvin Taylor said. "He is a very lucky boy."

More at link.

[valerief]

1. Whew! Close call.

[magical thyme]

2. affluenza strikes again!

[rurallib]

3. Once more I must ask - is the Onion satire or

channeling the future?

[geardaddy]

6. Exactly what I thought

It almost seems like it could be a real story.

[SoapBox]

4. So happy for this young 1%er!

Are we sure this is The Onion?

[perdita9]

5. Our justice system is out of whack

Either we are all equal under the law, or we're not.