YES!: Thousands of Women Are Throwing a Guy a Dance Party After He Was Body Shamed

[Hissyspit]

http://mashable.com/2015/03/06/dancing-man/#:eyJzIjoiZiIsImkiOiJfZDl6bWk4MHAxcHhwaWZkOSJ9

Thousands of women are throwing a guy a dance party after he was body shamed

BY ANDREA ROMANO
6 HOURS AGO
The Internet is taking a stand: no one should ever be shamed for trying to have a good time.

In February, a user on 4chan posted about their encounter with a man at a concert, who was ridiculed for dancing and quickly stopped when he noticed people were laughing at him. The user posted before and after photos of the man, saying "spotted this specimen trying to dance the other week. He stopped when he saw us laughing.”

The photo was reposted onto Imgur on Wednesday by a user called FrozenBadger. They wrote, "I find this behavior fucking despicable. If you're out there big man, fuck those kids. Keep dancing."

Many other people on 4chan, Reddit and social media shared the user's opinion, who called out the original poster for bullying the man when he was simply trying to have a good time.

The Free Thought Project writer Cassandra Fairbanks decided to launch a personal campaign to find the dancing man and arrange "something special" for him. In a mere 24 hours, thousands of female Twitter users joined Fairbanks in her search, using the hashtag #FindDancingMan.

An open letter to the dancing man began to circulate, detailing a major dance party the women wanted to throw to not just boost the man's self esteem but also send a strong message against body shaming.

Hope Leigh @HOPELEIGHMUSIC
Follow
Body shaming is awful & people hide behind social media. Help me and my 2,000 girlfriends #FindDancingMan #dancefree
1:28 AM - 6 Mar 2015
278 RETWEETS 254 FAVORITES

REST AT LINK

[Cooley Hurd]

1. No idea why, Hissyspit, but this brought a tear to my eye...

...maybe because it partially restores my struggling faith in humanity.

THANK YOU for posting this!!!

[druidity33]

5. weird, me too... K&R. nt.

[JustAnotherGen]

28. Because he looks so hurt

[WorseBeforeBetter]

34. I just wanna give him a hug.

Poor guy.

[840high]

63. Yes - what a shame.

[Sweet Freedom]

91. Exactly

He looks heartbroken.

[awoke_in_2003]

29. No one should be made to feel...

the way he felt as evidenced in the second picture. It bothered me, too. Maybe because of a dance I went to in junior high- I never went to another dance again.

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

2. Exactly why I will call Chris Christie all the names in the book he deserves to be called, but fat

isnt one of them

[rhett o rick]

8. I agree.

I wanted to add that I don't approve of comedians like Leno and Fallon making fat jokes.

[Jim Lane]

96. I agree with your addition, and add Letterman.

He did a Top 10 about Christie. I was disappointed that every single one was a fat joke.

I remember only one Christie joke that I thought was worthwhile. At an event with Christie in the audience, the performer said, "What do you want, Governor, size jokes or bridge jokes? Or I could do some of each -- you know, kind of like a combo platter." That's a joke about Christie's weight but also a joke about jokes about Christie's weight, and I always like self-referential humor.

The OP points up another issue: Enough fat jokes about Christie might prompt a backlash, of people not paying enough attention to his policies but rallying to his side because they think he's being picked on.

[awoke_in_2003]

31. Agreed...

I draw the line at the Ann Coulter jab (Man Coulter), too. That one seems to have gone away- the juries have been pretty good about getting rid of them. I know when we had moderation we always killed them.

[nilram]

35. +10

[Skittles]

72. I detest seeing weight disparaged on DU

seriously, it is just plain wrong no matter who it is

[cstanleytech]

74. Oh, there is no doubt actually Christie is fat............

a fat head that is.

[flygal]

94. Yes - Bill Maher are you listening! Hate the fat jokes. Not funny. nt

[maddiemom]

99. "Fat" jokes about Chris Christie are like "Turtle" jokes about Mitch McConnell.

I was raised in a very liberal home, and taught to be sensitive of others. I can never remember making fun of anyone's appearance (in an early primary grade, I do remember making fun of a dress a poor student wore, and remember it with shame that I felt a few years later until today, sixty years afterwards. To me, this says a lot of those (like the Bushes) who claim to not remember bullying others). I will confess, however, to enjoying "appearance" jokes about public figures who behave in truly hateful ways.

[Logical]

103. Well, hopefully you will learn not to enjoy them. nt

[Logical]

101. But many here on a progressive forum continue to call him fat. I would ban them. nt

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

105. Agreed, if they keep doing it after a warning

[peacebird]

3. K&R

[Hoppy]

4. EXCELLENT !

[enough]

6. Dancing is one kind of movement that can be shared in one place by people with all sorts of

bodies. I always find more energy on any dance floor (social or gym) when there are a lot of different kinds of people out there. Zumba was the door that opened up for me personally to get out there and move, and I've seen the same thing happen to a lot of people.

I have to agree with Cooley Hurd above that this brought tears to my eyes, both for the cruelty and sadness, but especially for the joyful response by these women. I'd like to be at that party.

[Hissyspit]

7. DANCING IS FOR EVERYONE

[rhett o rick]

9. Absolutely. nm

[SwissTony]

14. And you don't have to be good at it to enjoy it! n/t

[Octafish]

26. What Hissyspit said.

Guy looks like my sister's boyfriend. And while he's chubby outside, inside he's a great human being.

[Eleanors38]

111. It's the most basic artistic expression. Good OP.

[starroute]

21. You just reminded me of one time when I was a little kid

I might have been eight or ten. It might have been at a wedding or maybe a resort hotel. The only part I remember clearly is that I saw someone who was overweight on a dance floor and expressed surprise to my mother at how gracefully they moved.

Her response was that people didn't have to be skinny to be graceful and that often people you might assume were clumsy if you just saw them walking seemed to come to life on the dance floor and appear almost weightless.

That lesson made an enormous impression on me at the time in terms of not drawing conclusions about people from superficial appearances. But somehow, although I've remember the moral, I'd forgotten the incident until just now. Thank you for reminding me.

[classof56]

89. Nice post!

What a wise woman your mother was. You were fortunate indeed to benefit from her wisdom.

Cheers.

[maddiemom]

100. Did you ever see the late Charles Durning dance?

A number of years back he caused a sensation dancing on Burt Reynolds' old series, "Evening Shade."

[starroute]

108. I hadn't -- but I found a clip of him dancing on YouTube

[Hissyspit]

112. Anyone who has ever seen "O Brother Where Art Thou?..."

[seabeyond]

10. i am so glad to see this, being the better that we are, taking down those that choose to hurt others

this is so very good. thank you to the thousands? that worked on this.

[darkangel218]

90. Thats right, seabeyond.

I hope you remember that when someone here posts about an alternate lifestyle, which doesn't hurt anyone, and shouldn't offend anyone, since it doesn't affect them.

Live and let live.

[seabeyond]

92. i disagree with your basic argument, i disagree with your interpretation of events.

so no. i wont be on your bandwagon as you well know. i rarely talk to you, so it is so very clear you bringing up old shit, that you have almost exclusively discussed on another board is desperate.

i keep saying dark, as much as you want to rumble with hof, i personally do not give two hoots about you. never have.

[darkangel218]

97. You rarely talk to me????

The HOF went after me in a nasty, disgusting way when I defended my BDSM lifestyle.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025373241 First on DU, when I made a point that "rape play" ( a fantasy play in bdsm) is not rape. Then on Discussionist. I guess you were on time out from DU, and unleashed on me on DI. Anyone can Google longj and Attera on Discussionist. They will see how nasty you were, over and over again. You and BainseBain ( Iansa) even attacked my bf.
You claim to want fairness and equality, but when you don't like the lifestyle ( safe , sane and consensual) of other posters, you attack them.

Like I said, live and let live. Perheps you will learn something from this OP, that is nobodys business what other people like, as long as is legal, safe , sane and consensual.

Live and let live, seabeyond.

[tishaLA]

117. interesting post. thanks for shating your experiences.

[Katashi_itto]

119. The Results are in....

On Sat Mar 7, 2015, 04:50 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

You rarely talk to me????
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6327171

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

just trolling, even if it only towards HoF

The review was completed at Sat Mar 7, 2015, 04:56 PM, and the Jury voted 2-5 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: This is an argument and dark angel made accusations. She also provided links to back up her claims. I do not understand why the alert said trolling. Telling someone they harmed you emotionally in the past is not trolling. Evidence was provided.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Puhleeze. Grow up alerter.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: HOF is a bunch of fools.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Person attack / call out thread / trolling / etc.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: As a member of HOF who almost never posts there, let me be clear why: if you don't agree with people like seabeyond, the gangs are unleashed to try to silence you. They run the group like a personal fiefdom where one cannot dissent from a homogeneous 70s-80s version of feminism, including the ways feminism dealt with sex and sexuality 30 years ago, The comment that's been alerted on is not only correct, but also warranted.
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given

[mother earth]

98. Yes, yes, yes...hate needs the shaming. :)

[joeybee12]

11. Hope this guy and ladies havea great time!

And I hope the asshole shamers get what's coming to them.

[TerrapinFlyer]

13. What does dancing and having a good time have to do with sex?

You don't have to have sex to be friends.

[SwissTony]

15. The OP was about not body-shaming. Please. n/t

[Rex]

16. Nice! What other things would you like to tell us!

Please do go on!

[seabeyond]

17. what an obnoxious thing to say.

[StrongBad]

36. The truth is often obnoxious and/or unpleasant.

Honestly, I feel bad for the guy and it sucks that he had to curtail his enjoyment of dancing because people were making fun of him. That's not cool.

But, I also concurrently feel there is an element of exploitation surrounding this stunt to self-promote the organizers and my above comment was an allusion to that. When all is said and done, none of these women are going to remain close friends with him nor engage in any intimate relationship with him. But they will have created a viral meme and get to pat themselves on the back thinking that they did something good while raising their personal profile.

[seabeyond]

38. womens only role in life is to fuck a man? that is what is pathetic. you do not even get

how obnoxious your post is.

this has NOTHING to do with sex, but you just gotta make it so. people actually interact with one another that has nothing to do with whether or not they get sex.

[Mariana]

93. Apparently so.

Any act of kindness a toward a man by a woman is worthless, unless the woman also fucks him.

[FBaggins]

104. We should also answer the question

I'd imagine that for most women, weight is much further down the list of what they find attractive than it is for most men. By asking the question, the poster displays the depth (i.e., shallow) of his own judgment.

[Luminous Animal]

42. You are not telling a truth. You are expressing a shitty opinion.

[LeftyMom]

44. You're actually making an assumption about his fuckability- you're assuming he's not partnered.

You're the one assuming he's some lonely sad sack based purely on his appearance, and you're using that assumption as a cudgel against women you don't even know.

You got issues, dude.

[awoke_in_2003]

47. Or maybe they are just trying to be human...

not all interactions between men and women are long lasting or intimate. Your misogyny is shining through.

[Marr]

71. +1, big time.

[myrna minx]

53. Your saddening post was hidden so I'll reply here...

Were you so outraged about the potential sexual possibilities of the bullied bus monitor when the internet rallied around her?

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/bullied-bus-monitor-receives-700k-check/

Sometimes in this dark, bleak world, people try to rally around those that are bullied and abused.

An overweight man having fun at a show shouldn't be taunted and bullied, but he was. The fact that women/people from all over the world feel empathy for his plight and would love to rally around him has nothing to do with sexuality, and all to do with friendship and community. I'm sure this isn't the first time he's been ridiculed while out, this is just the first time it went viral.

Who wouldn't want to have a dance party with a clearly fun, socially brave guy like him? What does sex have to do with anything?

You're assuming he's not married already. You're also assuming that he's interested in women. You're assuming the worst about all involved, when all that's happening is the occasional decent world is coming to the defense of what seems to be a sweet, fun fellow who wants to dance without judgment. It's a world dance party for this guy.

You can grouse alone.

[Hissyspit]

55. You don't know any such thing.

[greiner3]

87. Sorry Hissyspit;

But as I want to add my comment to politicman and you just happen to be the first to comment, I find I need to 'impose' on you...;

I've found, that in life experiences, that those who can do something, are the biggest snots when they believe that those who (can't, won't, etc...) are losers in the largest sense.

, etc...

[SCVDem]

56. Stop digging!

There are way too many of us who can relate, and never thought anything but happy thoughts for this 'sad' guy.

You harshed our happy!

[treestar]

84. So do you have the same concern for fat women?

They could say the same.

Plus it is bullshit, as in the long run, people can have sex if they want to, as there will be someone in their own attractiveness category. I know lots of fat couples.

[cyberswede]

19. What.the.actual.fuck?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

[handmade34]

20. you sir...

are an idiot... go away

[Skittles]

22. I bet misogyny is a way of life for you

[Ken Burch]

62. With him, it's more like misanthropy.

I think that poster hates everyone.

[1monster]

24. I really find this offensive, as if the measure of a man or a woman is how

traditionally "beddable" he or she is. There are loads of overweight people who have great relationships that include love making (as opposed to nust getting laid). Your comment is very shallow.

[awoke_in_2003]

32. Well, if they met him and you...

and you opened your trap, your chances would go way down.

[JimDandy]

78. Snappy...and true. n/t

[Bobbie Jo]

114. True that. nt

[bluestateguy]

18. Does he get a Gofundme pot?

If I was shamed on the internet I'd hate to let that go to waste by not getting 10-20 grand out of it.

[Oilwellian]

64. Is there a full moon out, or something? n/t

[WorseBeforeBetter]

107. Yes, at least on 3/5. And tonight we lose an hour of sleep,

so some will be even *more* cranky the next few days. Good times.

[AngryAmish]

25. As it stands, it is impossible to body shame a cis white male

They are the standard, no matter what his weight is. For example, Jackie Gleason, Butterbean, Heavy D, the Fat Boys, Chris Farley are all held up culturally as leaders, yet a woman gain a pound she is publically shamed, like Rosie O'Donnell.

Our culture is a toilet.

[FLPanhandle]

30. So you are saying this guy wasn't body shamed?

I'd say the facts are in disagreement with your opinion.

[Nevernose]

39. Forty percent of your examples are nonwhite

Is your post a joke? It's been a king week, so maybe I'm just not getting it

[AngryAmish]

48. If you are white, cis or het, everything is great

In fact, like this guy, the internet patriarchy makes you a legend.

If not, into the latrines you go.

It sickens.

[Hissyspit]

52. So if that guy had killed himself after they mocked him?

[romanic]

66. Your opinion belongs in a latrine.

What a hideously negative and smug post.

[nomorenomore08]

67. Oh, I get. You're making a mockery of opinions that don't really exist.

Also known as strawmanning.

[BubbaFett]

86. MONUMENTAL bullshit

your statement is the epitome of bigotry.

[awoke_in_2003]

120. what is cis?

[romanic]

122. It means cisgender

the opposite of transgender.

[Oktober]

76. What a load of manure....

This 'my oppression is worse than your oppression so your oppression doesn't count' BS can just stop....

[BubbaFett]

85. Heavy D was white?

the Fat Boys too?

Never knew that.

[alcibiades_mystery]

116. I'm surprised that Heavy D and the Fat Boys are white males!

[Curmudgeoness]

27. Social media can be a cesspool of hate,

but it makes me feel good that so many people also make it a very nice place.

[Jefferson23]

33. Fantastic..I am so pleased to see people advocating for him. K&R

[WorseBeforeBetter]

37. Ooh, they tracked him down... to London. YAY!

On Friday morning, Fairbanks was sent a strong lead on the identity of the dancing man, who lives in London. After getting in contact with him via social media, the dancing man finally revealed himself to his thousands of Internet fans, and they were very happy to see him.

The man, who's first name is Sean, accepted Fairbanks' offer for a dance party — as soon as he is back from a trip to Kiev. Because he can dance if he wants to. He can leave 4chan behind.

Sometimes, the Internet really is a wonderful place.

[Nevernose]

41. "He can dance if he wants to...

He can leave 4chan behind!"

Laughing my ass off!

[WorseBeforeBetter]

43. LOL, yeah, that was clever.

I'm flashing back to 1980-something.

[myrna minx]

59. Clever!

[Bobbie Jo]

115. !

[msanthrope]

118. Come on Eileen....nt

[BlancheSplanchnik]

50. Yay!!!!! Awwwww, this is great!

Also, this means he's got a British accent! Lucky Sod!!!

Have fun in Kiev! (#notjealous)

He can dance if he wants to! He can leave 4chan behind!
LoLoLoL!

[WorseBeforeBetter]

54. Ha ha, I know. That "after" photo above really bothered me...

it's wonderful to see him smiling!

[spooky3]

61. Here's a link to Safety Dance for those too young to remember it

http://m.

Thanks so much for posting the update. Great smile!

[SMC22307]

110. Great, earworm.

[Skittles]

73. good for Sean

love seeing bullies put in their place

[WillyT]

40. HUGE K & R !!! - Thank You !!!

[Warpy]

45. Somebody needs to tell those little snots that dancing isn't for watching

It's for doing.

Obviously they were so tragically hip and repressed that they couldn't imagine putting themselves out there, so they had to ridicule someone who had the courage to get out there and dance.

I'll bet it will be a great party if it comes true. After all, there will be one man there who isn't afraid to dance.

[Hulk]

46. Great!! All you need is good music!!

Cheers to this man and the wonderful people who are hoping to make his day a happy one.

I remember when my kids were little, my wife, I, all four kids, and the dog would turn the music up loud, and we'd all "dance" like our hearts were on fire. My kids are ALL dancers today. I'm 67, and I met my wife on the salsa floor about 10 years ago. I STILL love to dance, although my wife's flame has pretty well burned out on it; bu dancing is a way to let the heart sing out loud.

Love it! Fook those fools that mimic his moves. Enjoy life and dance! Life is too short, and the man apparently knows how to enjoy it with movement. Dance the night away...dance to your heart's content!!

[NBachers]

49. Great! Boogie down, dude!

[Liberal_in_LA]

51. that second pic is so sad

[Helen Borg]

57. So, did they find him?

[seabeyond]

58. check out post #37, they did find him. nt

[Ken Burch]

60. There are still good people out there. More than there are bad people.

We just need to find the way to connect.

[devils chaplain]

65. There's not enough enough shaming in this society...

Our society worships the greedy, pretentious, and sociopathic... yet enjoys making people miserable just for being fat.

No, there's not enough shaming in this society. It's just entirely on the wrong people.

[LiberalElite]

68. Reminds me of this old poster -

?itok=kU19FK9-

The point of which is everyone can dance.

[Moostache]

69. I just got home from a father-daughter dance and saw this...breaks my heart.

I am not quite as large as the man in the photos, but I am closer to him than a Chippendales model for sure. I do not care one bit as my attempts at dancing are comedic for their complete lack of rhythm more than the jiggle of my belly...if I could ever get the belly and the jiggle on the same wave I might be onto an alternative source of energy!

My girls and I had an amazing time because it was a celebration of and for us as father and daughters, a time to dance and let the girls (from K through 6th grade) act silly and run around in the school gym in a safe environment to be children and enjoy life. Its a joyous event and something I have been blessed to do for everyone of the last 11 years (with 5 more left!)...

My oldest daughter is now 17 and getting ready to leave the house next year, but we always remember the silly dances and awkwardness of those first couple of dances. To see ANYONE mock another human being for the mere offense of enjoying their life and expressing it through any means they choose is sick. We have plenty of hate and anguish in the world, creating more for the sheer spite of it is unacceptably vile.

I wish there really were karma in this world to revisit upon the original 4chan poster, but it made my heart dance a little to see the victim acknowledging the Twitter outpouring of empathy.

[flygal]

95. Nice post

I have two girls as well and hope they embrace their awkwardness.

[Oilwellian]

70. Great story Hissyspit

I'm so glad he was found. K&R

[McCamy Taylor]

75. Awesome story! Thanks for sharing. I wish more men would dance.

[anotojefiremnesuka]

79. WTF? The guy was not huring anyone, he was doing his thing!

I bet he ends up meeting the love of his life from this, more people will see him for who he really is.

[SCVDem]

80. We don't know he's alone.

He travels so he meets people, and we only assume he's not in a relationship.

If he is alone I hope you're right!

[anotojefiremnesuka]

83. Well that is true he could be a stud for all we know and have women all over the world!

anyway it looks like it will turn out positive in the end no matter what happens.

[Inkfreak]

81. Fuck those asswipes who posted originally about him.

Fuck em. Fuck em. Fuck em.

Dude could be a fantastic person to know, but they're intetested in shaming him.

Fuck em.

[dorkzilla]

82. Fuck them a million times...

The cruelty people are capable of just beggars belief. You’d think people would have grown out of this by the time they hit 12, but I suppose we should accept that these people ARE 12 on an emotional level.

Fuck these people a billion times...as karma will, I have no doubt.

[ismnotwasm]

88. I was reading about this this morning

What an awesome story!

[Bill USA]

102. Recommended!

[MannyGoldstein]

106. Then *my* picture oughta get TENS of thousands of women!

I'm thinking bad thoughts... must stop...

[Liberal_in_LA]

109. update.Pharrel and Moby to perform at the party

[NaturalHigh]

113. K and R.

Keep dancing Dancing Man. You're much better at it than I ever was, even when I was skinny.

[countryjake]

121. Dancing Man signed up for Twitter just so he could respond...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2983138/Dancing-Man-shamed-bullies-tracked-invited-VIP-dance-party-2-000-women-Twitter-campaign.html

[roamer65]

123. Mean people suck.

I always love that bumper sticker when I see it and it fits in this situation.