Glenn Beck: God told him to quit FOX

[47of74]

Yeah, it's a keeper!

On the day he decided to leave, Beck said he walked up to a floor-to-ceiling window in his New York apartment and asked his wife, “How could this possibly be God’s plan?”

“As I stood there, the Lord whispered to me, ‘If you do not leave now, you will lose your soul,’” Beck said. “It was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.”

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he speaks to you through your large New York apartment windows. Sometimes he speaks to you by having Roger Ailes walk into your office and fire your crazy ass. It's all good.

[CreekDog]

1. Oh shit. Maybe God really does talk to him

[47of74]

21. Naah

Just the same evil spirit that talks to the likes of Bush, Bachmann, Frothy, etc etc.

[NoGOPZone]

2. If he listened to me instead, he would have quit long ago nt

[Odin2005]

3. Yup, he's definitely Schizophrenic!

[Curmudgeoness]

4. That was just a voice in his head, not God.

He lost his soul years ago.

[libinnyandia]

5. It's too late! He already is soul-less.

[hobbit709]

6. I wonder how heavily mortgaged his soul really is.

[Terra Alta]

7. I wish God would tell BecKKK to take a long walk off a short pier. nt

[madinmaryland]

8. No Glenn. God was telling you to shut the fuck up.

[Ruby the Liberal]

9. So God is an Ad placement executive?

Who knew.

[HangOnKids]

10. Holy Shit! Really Holy Shit!

That is a DUzy, thanks for the LOL.

[longship]

11. "Glenn Beck, this is GOD. Eat worms!"

[MineralMan]

12. So he left, and lost his mind, instead.

Booga-Booga, Glenn!

[LiberalFighter]

13. Which god told him?

If I understand Mormonism they have more than just the Trinity. And if this is true than they would have to believe that both Joseph Smith and Brigham Young are now gods.

[Uncle Joe]

14. One can not lose what one does not have,

now take this pebble from my hands asswipe.

Thanks for the thread, 47of74.

[Initech]

15. Wait... God told Glenn that he would lose his soul? He never had one to begin with!

[rustydog]

16. So Glenn, when GOD told you to quit, did it sound like this: YOU'RE FIRED!

Just askin'.

[47of74]

22. Yeah, probably

[demtenjeep]

17. Maybe God will tell him to drive off a cliff

disgusting puke

[mysuzuki2]

18. I predict that one day soon Dog will tell Beck to

paint pictures on the wall of his padded cell with his own poop.

[Autumn]

19. That god is such a practical joker

such a divine sense of humor.

[Canuckistanian]

20. So. God is Roger Ailes?

I KNEW there was a reason why I'm an atheist.

[SoCalDem]

23. Roger Ailes is God? Whodathunkit?

[rustydog]

24. Until he was 15, Roger Ailes thought he was Jesus Christ

His parents would say: "Jesus Christ, will you turn that music down!" Jesus, clean up that pig-sty you call a room!" Jesus Christ! Take a bath you smell like a pig..."

[47of74]

30. L.O.L.

[Arugula Latte]

25. Imaginary friends can be fun!

[47of74]

31. Most times they are

Except when they tell you that they want you to be President.

[lonestarnot]

26. I thought Mr. Crazy was fired.

[TNLib]

27. Talk about revising history wasn't that dumb ass Fired?

nt

[athenasatanjesus]

28. Any sane God would whisper that to every Fox employee. nt

[Ikonoklast]

29. If Beck actually believes in God I'd be surprised.

But he knows the drooling morons that listen to him do, so he pretends he does, too.

Money in the God biz is good, and Beck is nothing but a shameles money whore.

[crunch60]

32. Listen Beck, God didn't want you to take the job with Fox

in the first place, you disobeyed him, and now he has fired your sorry ass.