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sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:32 PM Nov 2014

My Father~ He slipped quietly away from me this morning

[url=http://postimg.org/image/padbgestp/][img][/img][/url] 1922~2014

Not a perfect man, yet he was my father and I loved him. He passed away in his sleep early this morning. We knew it was almost time. All day yesterday family, that were well enough, arrived to sit with him. I had four hours alone with my dad. I held his hand and said goodbye as I looked out the window, watching the sun shine through the brilliant autumn leaves. None of us knew, he would die hours after the last one of us left.

In the last year he never knew my sister or me. He had reached the final stage of Alzheimer's disease. He never knew me, yet I know he loved me.


Omaha Steve posted this Op for me almost thirty days to the day of my Fathers passing. It was so very kind of him. There is a video at the link of Glen Campbell, his final ballad is called “I’m Not Gonna Miss You”. Glen Cambell is reaching the finale stages of Alzheimer's Disease.

&feature=player_embedded

http://betterment.democraticunderground.com/1017220580#top


Here are the words~


http://www.metrolyrics.com/im-not-gonna-miss-you-lyrics-glen-campbell.html

I'm still here, but yet I'm gone
I don't play guitar or sing my songs
They never defined who I am
The man that loves you 'til the end
You're the last person I will love
You're the last face I will recall
And best of all, I'm not gonna to miss you.
Not gonna miss you.
I'm never gonna hold you like I did
Or say I love you to the kids
You're never gonna see it in my eyes
It's not gonna hurt me when you cry
I'm never gonna know what you go through
All the things I say or do
All the hurt and all the pain
One thing selfishly remains
I'm not gonna miss you
I'm not gonna miss you



It's is a cruel disease. You sit there and watch the light slowly fade away and the memories turn to dust. Tears~

Someone suggested that I write down one memory so that I don't forget, so I will do it here then print it. I was my dads baby girl and a tomboy to boot~ He had a trucking company and would take me along with him. He would lift me up high and put me in the cab of the truck with this huge window spread before me and I could see the whole wide world. It was just my dad and me, on top of the world and laughing out loud, we could be anything. I was about 5 at the time. Yes that is my fondest memory by far~




213 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My Father~ He slipped quietly away from me this morning (Original Post) sheshe2 Nov 2014 OP
I'm sorry, she... SidDithers Nov 2014 #1
My love and best wishes from the universe for you JustAnotherGen Nov 2014 #2
Gio said that? sheshe2 Nov 2014 #93
my condolences sheshe2 steve2470 Nov 2014 #3
I'm so very sorry. Liberal Veteran Nov 2014 #4
I never can find the right words to express what I want to say... Spazito Nov 2014 #5
My condolences to you. spooky3 Nov 2014 #6
I'm sorry for your loss, she2, elleng Nov 2014 #7
Soooo sorry to hear this, sheshe . . . ucrdem Nov 2014 #8
Hugs to you and yours, ucrdem sheshe2 Nov 2014 #125
Thanks sheshe. . . ucrdem Nov 2014 #132
I'm so sorry She. It's a devastating disease. Not only to the person who has shraby Nov 2014 #9
I am so sorry. I think Alzheimer's is the cruelest of afflictions and a horrible thief. myrna minx Nov 2014 #10
Memory eternal shenmue Nov 2014 #11
I'm so sorry. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Vinca Nov 2014 #12
So sorry. Liberal Jesus Freak Nov 2014 #13
I am so sorry! bravenak Nov 2014 #14
Thanks bravenak... sheshe2 Nov 2014 #124
I love you too. bravenak Nov 2014 #127
I am so sorry, am going through this with mine. RIP sheshe2's dad. uppityperson Nov 2014 #15
Thank you uppity... sheshe2 Nov 2014 #38
Sincere condolences to you and your family. nt kelliekat44 Nov 2014 #16
So sorry for your loss... CherokeeDem Nov 2014 #17
Sorry for your loss....just lost my dad also. glinda Nov 2014 #18
I'm so sorry sheshe Triana Nov 2014 #19
Awww... babylonsister Nov 2014 #20
I am very, very sorry for your loss, she. cordelia Nov 2014 #21
My deepest sympathies Peacetrain Nov 2014 #22
I am so sorry (((hugs))) I hope you find strength in these words.... jillan Nov 2014 #23
sheshe, you are one of the kindest, sweetest voices here LawDeeDah Nov 2014 #24
What a beautiful thing to say. sheshe2 Nov 2014 #141
Allow me to light a candle for your father tonight. longship Nov 2014 #25
I'm so sorry sheshe napkinz Nov 2014 #26
I am where you are and it's been 10 years now. TexasProgresive Nov 2014 #27
I hope he has peace now, and the same to you, sheshe. My sincerest condolences. n/t Jefferson23 Nov 2014 #28
I'm so sorry, sheshe! Sissyk Nov 2014 #29
So very sorry for your loss sheshe riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #30
My sympathies, dear. cry baby Nov 2014 #31
Very, very sorry. Yo_Mama Nov 2014 #32
I am very sorry to hear this. DisgustipatedinCA Nov 2014 #33
So sorry for your loss, sheshe2. bvf Nov 2014 #34
Thank you for sharing a bit of your father's life with us. Sounds like he really loved his japple Nov 2014 #35
I'm so sorry to hear this. It is an awful disease. Luminous Animal Nov 2014 #36
Deepest condolences AgingAmerican Nov 2014 #37
My condolences she treestar Nov 2014 #39
Sorry to hear sheshe.. kentuck Nov 2014 #40
Deepest sympathy sheshe2 malaise Nov 2014 #41
(((HUG))) WilliamPitt Nov 2014 #42
My mom had dementia when she passed Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #43
Your Op~ sheshe2 Nov 2014 #63
So did my mother-in-law calimary Nov 2014 #151
My father passed about a year ago Sheepshank Nov 2014 #44
***HUGS*** so terribly sorry sheshe. He is free. nc4bo Nov 2014 #45
Sorry to hear mercuryblues Nov 2014 #46
Sorry to hear that Sheshe stevenleser Nov 2014 #47
Love is very powerful KMOD Nov 2014 #48
Sorry sheshe for your loss. Glimmer of Hope Nov 2014 #49
Aw, sheshe, so sorry to hear this. calimary Nov 2014 #50
I'm so sorry, sheshe2. ColesCountyDem Nov 2014 #51
I just had a chance to watch your video, sheshe2 Nov 2014 #210
Peace be with you also. ColesCountyDem Nov 2014 #211
So sorry for your loss. MoonRiver Nov 2014 #52
I am so sorry, sheshe2. brer cat Nov 2014 #53
I'm so sorry... my condolences. MerryBlooms Nov 2014 #54
I am so sorry for your loss, sheshe2 MissDeeds Nov 2014 #55
Very sorry to hear this. I'm grateful You & Your Family had a loving relationship with Him. hue Nov 2014 #56
I am so sorry irisblue Nov 2014 #57
What a great memory to treasure. SO sorry to hear your father had lost his of you. You now FailureToCommunicate Nov 2014 #58
Oh my... SoapBox Nov 2014 #59
(((((sheshe)))) dorkzilla Nov 2014 #60
I am so sorry for your loss... magical thyme Nov 2014 #61
Sorry - my sincere condolense to you and the family - n/t mazzarro Nov 2014 #62
So sorry... FLyellowdog Nov 2014 #64
Mycondolences. Went through 840high Nov 2014 #65
I am so sorry for your loss. bearssoapbox Nov 2014 #66
So sorry for your UglyGreed Nov 2014 #67
Sorry for your loss n/t albino65 Nov 2014 #68
So sorry She madokie Nov 2014 #69
Thank you for sharing these memories, madokie classof56 Nov 2014 #74
I'm very sorry for your loss. City Lights Nov 2014 #70
((sheshe2)) lovemydog Nov 2014 #71
No words.... Johnny Noshoes Nov 2014 #72
As a sole caretaker of a parent with dementia, my heartfelt condolences SheShe2 adirondacker Nov 2014 #73
Sorry for your loss... Whiskeytide Nov 2014 #75
Alzheimer's sucks balls! I'm so sorry! Odin2005 Nov 2014 #76
Oh sheshe2, so sorry for your loss. Mnemosyne Nov 2014 #77
I'm glad you posted this, didn't know if you wanted a thread, though. You know my heart, sweets. freshwest Nov 2014 #78
I had to let it out freshwest.... sheshe2 Nov 2014 #89
My mother died from Alzheimer's Andy823 Nov 2014 #79
I'm so sorry for your loss sheshe2. My sympathy to you, your family and all who knew and loved your livetohike Nov 2014 #80
Condolences, sheshe2 villager Nov 2014 #81
Sheshe, please accept my deepest condolences. classof56 Nov 2014 #82
I wrote a short story on that. And I've found it to be true. At times, I forget that. Thanks. freshwest Nov 2014 #100
Thank you, freshwest. classof56 Nov 2014 #204
Well, it's not based on reading the poem, but the concept behind it. I'll try to edit and PM it. freshwest Nov 2014 #205
No rush--and thanks! classof56 Nov 2014 #208
Not offline yet, but getting all I can done. Because the lights kept flickering on and off. freshwest Nov 2014 #209
Thank you classof56, with love to you and yours~ sheshe2 Nov 2014 #202
Condolences to you and your family. gademocrat7 Nov 2014 #83
So sorry for your loss, beautiful words. madamvlb Nov 2014 #84
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, sheshe. pacalo Nov 2014 #85
I'm so sorry sheshe2 KT2000 Nov 2014 #86
So sorry, sheshe Cal Carpenter Nov 2014 #87
So very sorry. Quite a guy, obviously. n/t Bossy Monkey Nov 2014 #88
You have my deepest sympathy. MineralMan Nov 2014 #90
Sheshe2, I'm so sorry for your loss. Skidmore Nov 2014 #91
I'm so sorry for your loss. DeadLetterOffice Nov 2014 #92
I am sorry for your loss. My best to you and your family. rhett o rick Nov 2014 #94
I'm sorry to hear H2O Man Nov 2014 #95
My sincerest condolences. ClusterFreak Nov 2014 #96
My condolences. nt Cali_Democrat Nov 2014 #97
So sorry, sheshe2 ReRe Nov 2014 #98
wishing you much peace and gladness -- to have known him. Voice for Peace Nov 2014 #99
I am so sorry for your loss! hrmjustin Nov 2014 #101
you never forget MFM008 Nov 2014 #102
I'm sorry for your loss. undeterred Nov 2014 #103
I am so sorry sheshe2 MadrasT Nov 2014 #104
So sorry for your loss, sheshe Bobbie Jo Nov 2014 #105
Beautiful tribute to your Dad, she~ Cha Nov 2014 #106
Condolences for your loss. scarletwoman Nov 2014 #107
Sincere condolences BrotherIvan Nov 2014 #108
Sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace. n/t PoliticAverse Nov 2014 #109
I'm so sorry for your loss Nite Owl Nov 2014 #110
I wish you wonderful memories rurallib Nov 2014 #111
I'm so sorry for your loss. Lovely memories. mountain grammy Nov 2014 #112
He was lucky to have you. Number23 Nov 2014 #113
The long goodbye mcar Nov 2014 #114
Sincerest condolences etherealtruth Nov 2014 #115
Holding you in the Light. n/t TygrBright Nov 2014 #116
So sorry, sheshe shopgirl Nov 2014 #117
My deepest condolences to you, sheshe... virgdem Nov 2014 #118
May your good memories help ease some of the heartache you are feeling now. dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #119
You loved him. He will be forever grateful julio_maracas Nov 2014 #120
I'm sorry sheshe2 Sheldon Cooper Nov 2014 #121
I am so very sorry for your loss, and wish you peace. nt msanthrope Nov 2014 #122
So sorry sheshe. Vibes to you all. applegrove Nov 2014 #123
So very sorry. stage left Nov 2014 #126
The very best of him lives on in you, sheshe2... MrMickeysMom Nov 2014 #128
Sorry to hear your dad has passed. He will live on in your heart. secondwind Nov 2014 #129
Aw, I feel very touched flamingdem Nov 2014 #130
I'm saddened to hear this! Our condolences to you! RKP5637 Nov 2014 #131
My deepest condolences, sheshe2. May he rest in peace. Tuesday Afternoon Nov 2014 #133
Hugs and sympathy. JohnnyLib2 Nov 2014 #134
I am so sorry, sheshe2. greatauntoftriplets Nov 2014 #135
heshe2, I am so sorry. I am glad you had a moment with your dad at the end. roguevalley Nov 2014 #136
Please accept my condolences DUgosh Nov 2014 #137
my condolences jimlup Nov 2014 #138
All the best to you and yours in this time. riqster Nov 2014 #139
Most sincere condolences she. n/t cherokeeprogressive Nov 2014 #140
I'm so sorry, Sheshe2 LeftInTX Nov 2014 #142
what a wonderful memory fizzgig Nov 2014 #143
I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. Rhiannon12866 Nov 2014 #144
R.I.P. Iliyah Nov 2014 #145
I am so sorry for your loss. blue neen Nov 2014 #146
So sorry for your loss. AtomicKitten Nov 2014 #147
I'm so sorry for your loss sheshe2 cal04 Nov 2014 #148
I am so very sorry for your loss sheshe2. mnhtnbb Nov 2014 #149
What a beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss, sheshe2. FourScore Nov 2014 #150
I am sorry, it is a terrible disease. sabrina 1 Nov 2014 #152
... defacto7 Nov 2014 #153
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Behind the Aegis Nov 2014 #154
In the beginnig we brought him home. sheshe2 Nov 2014 #156
thank you for sharing your tribute of your father. take care of you. seabeyond Nov 2014 #155
Thank you sea~ sheshe2 Nov 2014 #157
OMG, I'm so sorry, sheshe2! joshcryer Nov 2014 #158
Sorry. :( ...I loved my dad to pieces, he died when I was 28. C Moon Nov 2014 #159
I'm so sorry for yor loss, sheshe Hekate Nov 2014 #160
I'm so sorry for yr loss, sheshe.... Violet_Crumble Nov 2014 #161
I am so sorry. Are_grits_groceries Nov 2014 #162
I am sorry to hear that sheshe davidpdx Nov 2014 #163
words are inadequate but still my condolences azurnoir Nov 2014 #164
The loss of a parent is always hard, Live and Learn Nov 2014 #165
I am so sorry SheShe. I hope you can find some peace at this time. Maraya1969 Nov 2014 #166
So sorry for the loss of your dad sheshe. seaglass Nov 2014 #167
I am so very sorry to hear this news, sheshe. Major Hogwash Nov 2014 #168
Thank you so very much Major sheshe2 Nov 2014 #182
deepest condolences heaven05 Nov 2014 #169
I lost my father to Alzheimers. You have my deepest sympathies. badtoworse Nov 2014 #170
I'm sorry for your loss. sinkingfeeling Nov 2014 #171
I am very sorry onecaliberal Nov 2014 #172
Sorry for your loss, sheshe2. LuvNewcastle Nov 2014 #173
I am so sorry for your loss... Phentex Nov 2014 #174
dear she..... BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2014 #175
My condolences sheshe2 CountAllVotes Nov 2014 #176
Mine left me almost 9 years ago Warpy Nov 2014 #177
Sincere condolences, sheshe2. Granny M Nov 2014 #178
Hugs for you and your family cyberswede Nov 2014 #179
Much love to you my dear! JNelson6563 Nov 2014 #180
Sorry for your loss. jonno99 Nov 2014 #181
Heartfelt condolences to you. kairos12 Nov 2014 #183
(((SheShe2))) Stellar Nov 2014 #184
My condolences Denis 11 Nov 2014 #185
Alzheimer takes away so much packman Nov 2014 #186
U have my deepest condolences. deathrind Nov 2014 #187
I am so sorry for your loss, sheshe. Ilsa Nov 2014 #188
(((((((sheshe2))))))) WillyT Nov 2014 #189
Never easy--knowing that it's coming isn't any help eridani Nov 2014 #190
Very, very sorry for your loss. MannyGoldstein Nov 2014 #191
A hug for you...... democrank Nov 2014 #192
I am so very sorry, Sheshe2 markpkessinger Nov 2014 #193
Thank you, Mark~ sheshe2 Nov 2014 #194
. JI7 Nov 2014 #195
I'm so sorry. great white snark Nov 2014 #196
What a kind thing to say. sheshe2 Nov 2014 #197
My condolences. westerebus Nov 2014 #198
Terrible disease. I am so sorry for your loss. LoisB Nov 2014 #199
that was beautiful and so sad renate Nov 2014 #200
Deepest sympathy,SS2. Laffy Kat Nov 2014 #201
So sorry I am late to this sheshe I am just beside myself. William769 Nov 2014 #203
Thank you William, I do know he is in a better place. sheshe2 Nov 2014 #206
I am glad your dad lived 92 years but am very sorry he is gone. Rex Nov 2014 #207
... In_The_Wind Oct 2015 #212
Thank you. sheshe2 Oct 2015 #213

JustAnotherGen

(32,322 posts)
2. My love and best wishes from the universe for you
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:35 PM
Nov 2014

A very sad hug -

ETA - and from my husband. He reads and has an account but doesn't post. You are such a ray of light.

Spazito

(50,990 posts)
5. I never can find the right words to express what I want to say...
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:36 PM
Nov 2014

so I can only offer you a heartfelt

ucrdem

(15,512 posts)
8. Soooo sorry to hear this, sheshe . . .
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:37 PM
Nov 2014

Thanks for a beautiful memorial to a wonderful father.

p.s. I lost my mom last summer and attended a memorial service yesterday. It's good to remember.

ucrdem

(15,512 posts)
132. Thanks sheshe. . .
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 10:52 PM
Nov 2014

I was going to say the pain never goes away but you know what? It does. But the memories stay for ever, and they are all good.



p.s. but when it happens it really hurts and there's no getting past it.

shraby

(21,946 posts)
9. I'm so sorry She. It's a devastating disease. Not only to the person who has
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:38 PM
Nov 2014

it, but the whole family.
My deepest condolences.

myrna minx

(22,772 posts)
10. I am so sorry. I think Alzheimer's is the cruelest of afflictions and a horrible thief.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:38 PM
Nov 2014

My heart is with you and yours.

jillan

(39,451 posts)
23. I am so sorry (((hugs))) I hope you find strength in these words....
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:42 PM
Nov 2014

These words gave me strength when my mother passed...

One day you wake up and remember that your loved one didn't just die, that they also lived.
May the memories of their life soon fill the sadness you are feeling now.


 

LawDeeDah

(1,596 posts)
24. sheshe, you are one of the kindest, sweetest voices here
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:42 PM
Nov 2014

but sure not a pushover!

I am so sorry for your heartache. Your dad brought up a wonderful person.

TexasProgresive

(12,180 posts)
27. I am where you are and it's been 10 years now.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:45 PM
Nov 2014

I am sorry for your loss, but so glad that you felt his love for you even when he didn't remember.

The other day I bought a used cd that Chet Atkins produced. This song was on it and even though Chet's Dad and mine weren't the same it made me cry in the car - after 10 years.

It may do the same for you but it is really good to feel.

&list=RDILdzsW93_D0

Yo_Mama

(8,303 posts)
32. Very, very sorry.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:49 PM
Nov 2014

There's not much else to say. The way he went does not negate all that he was, though.

 

bvf

(6,604 posts)
34. So sorry for your loss, sheshe2.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:54 PM
Nov 2014

No one can know your grief. I can only say my thoughts are with you on your father's passing.

R.I.P.


japple

(9,958 posts)
35. Thank you for sharing a bit of your father's life with us. Sounds like he really loved his
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:54 PM
Nov 2014

baby girl. May you find peace in your memories of him.

malaise

(270,712 posts)
41. Deepest sympathy sheshe2
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:59 PM
Nov 2014

What a lovely memory.

I'm expecting the same for dad's only remaining sister any day now. She doesn't know recognize anyone. She's 96.

Omaha Steve

(100,357 posts)
43. My mom had dementia when she passed
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:01 PM
Nov 2014

But it was cancer that killed her.

I think dad had a form and was never diagnosed.

I understand we might not see you much for a few days. Take all the time you need. We will always be here for you.

Your friends at the DU.

sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
63. Your Op~
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:34 PM
Nov 2014

Was an incredibly kind thing to do, bless your heart. I had to add it here, Steve. It fit so well.

Bless you and yours, Steve. So sorry about your parents as well.

calimary

(82,000 posts)
151. So did my mother-in-law
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 01:06 AM
Nov 2014

although it was diabetes and cancer that killed her. She just wasn't there anymore. It was so sad. Sweet woman. Didn't deserve that.

 

Sheepshank

(12,504 posts)
44. My father passed about a year ago
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:02 PM
Nov 2014

and there is a void that doesn't ever seem to get satisfactorily filled. But it does seem like the sweetness of those living have made a contribution to that open space. I am so sorry, and while I don't know you personally if there was any advice I could give it's letting others in...it helps.

Hugs.

mercuryblues

(14,615 posts)
46. Sorry to hear
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:04 PM
Nov 2014

of your loss. I hope you find comfort in your fond memories of him and strength from your family.

Hugs to you.

 

KMOD

(7,906 posts)
48. Love is very powerful
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:05 PM
Nov 2014

I like to believe, that in the end stage of Alzheimer's, they still feel that the people with them, love them. And because they know you love them, deep down, they know they know you, but they just can't process how.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

calimary

(82,000 posts)
50. Aw, sheshe, so sorry to hear this.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:08 PM
Nov 2014

So sorry to hear this. It's NEVER easy, even when you expect it and are braced for it. Both my parents had long, lingering illnesses. My sweet dear mother-in-law too. Even when I thought I was fully prepared emotionally, when it actually happens it's STILL a jolt.

I am glad you're willing to share a most difficult moment in your life with us here at DU. I will never forget the love, comfort, sympathy, empathy, and support that heaped upon me at that time. I'll NEVER forget that. There were even some beautiful souls who PM'd me offering their phone numbers and emails. I never did take anyone up on that but it does NOT mean I didn't appreciate it tremendously deeply.

Maybe I post this stuff in others' bereavement threads in some sort of unconscious hope that those who reached out to me, either openly or privately or both - will know how much their incredibly kind efforts meant to me.

Dear God but I love DU! You guys have gotten me through death, destruction, and despairing times! I'm posting this via my cell phone so I don't know how to navigate as well. If I did, this post of mine would be full of hearts.

MoonRiver

(36,926 posts)
52. So sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:10 PM
Nov 2014

My dad died of cancer 4 years ago, but he had had Alzheimer's for a long time.

brer cat

(24,819 posts)
53. I am so sorry, sheshe2.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:11 PM
Nov 2014

I hope that your fond memories will bring you comfort. At least you know that your father is at peace now and free from the torment of that horrible disease.

MerryBlooms

(11,792 posts)
54. I'm so sorry... my condolences.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:12 PM
Nov 2014

I agree, it's a terribly cruel disease. We lost my husband's father to it three years ago, and it was absolutely heartbreaking, even from a distance.

 

MissDeeds

(7,499 posts)
55. I am so sorry for your loss, sheshe2
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:13 PM
Nov 2014

My mom died October 1 of this year from a series of strokes and Alzheimer's. It's an awful disease, and I am so sorry that you, your dad, and your family had to endure it.

Sending healing thoughts of peace and strength...

hue

(4,949 posts)
56. Very sorry to hear this. I'm grateful You & Your Family had a loving relationship with Him.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:16 PM
Nov 2014

The love surely endures! May You feel His love when You need it the most & even when it surprises You for apparently no reason.

FailureToCommunicate

(14,087 posts)
58. What a great memory to treasure. SO sorry to hear your father had lost his of you. You now
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:24 PM
Nov 2014

must hold on to them all the tighter.

SoapBox

(18,791 posts)
59. Oh my...
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:24 PM
Nov 2014

I am very sorry to hear of about your dad.

Mom currently lives with us...she was born in 1921. In her case, the brain is really good but the body and vision have passed their Best If Used By date.

I love your memory...it sounds like a good one to look back on.

dorkzilla

(5,141 posts)
60. (((((sheshe))))
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:25 PM
Nov 2014

My dearest sheshe,

I've always felt you were a kindred spirit but your relationship with your dad and the girly-tomboy you were are spot-on me and my Dad. He owned a meat company and i would go on his truck with him...so many of my happy memories were just of me and my dad, taking long rides while he asked me questions to provoke the silliest and most insanely creative answers. He was endlessly amused by the on-the-spot creation of my knock-knock jokes. None of them made sense of course, but he made me feel like i was smart and funny. And he still does.

My heart is breaking for you.

My dad, my REAL dad, is to this day my best bud, the person I can talk politics with and not get into an argument, the person I can share my humor with and get a laugh, share my newest musical acquisitions with and he'll tap his foot...I am totally my father's daughter and a daddy's girl even as I quickly approach my 50th year; even the thought of him gone makes me weep with the sorrow of that little 5 year old.

I am holding a place for you in my heart and my thoughts tonight, dear sheshe.

xoxo

bearssoapbox

(1,408 posts)
66. I am so sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:53 PM
Nov 2014

But I am happy that you have those good memories.

May your Dad RIP.

Take Care.

madokie

(51,076 posts)
69. So sorry She
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:02 PM
Nov 2014

I still miss my dad after nearly 30 years.
My best memories were when he'd come to the shop while I'd be working on whatever and hang with me, never telling me what to do but be using a guiding hand nevertheless.
We spent many hours with me working on my Cushman scooter and when he'd see I was stumped he'd say something like maybe if you'd look at it from this side it will be clearer or some such. The lesson as I look back was to look at all things from different perspectives to get a better understanding of what it is you're faced with.

classof56

(5,376 posts)
74. Thank you for sharing these memories, madokie
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:16 PM
Nov 2014

They are evidence of what a good father he was, and how fortunate you were to have him in your life. Been over 20 years since my Dad left us, and I know now I'll never stop missing him, or my Mom who left 11 years ago. They live on in my heart.

Blessings from a fellow "Okie".

adirondacker

(2,921 posts)
73. As a sole caretaker of a parent with dementia, my heartfelt condolences SheShe2
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:11 PM
Nov 2014

Grieve, but keep those fond memories alive!

Whiskeytide

(4,473 posts)
75. Sorry for your loss...
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:16 PM
Nov 2014

... the death of one of your parents sucks. It just sucks. But I suppose it's supposed to. It means you cared. Glad you got to be with him near the end.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
78. I'm glad you posted this, didn't know if you wanted a thread, though. You know my heart, sweets.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:20 PM
Nov 2014


Remembering you like that gif... OXOXO from me and mine...

sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
89. I had to let it out freshwest....
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:48 PM
Nov 2014

I had no one here today as you know. I worked for hours today trying to print that picture, my new computer was not recognizing my printer. I was frustrated and angry and on a mission to get it done. I finally did it, my dad is here.


Love you freshwest, thank you for the hearts from you and yours.

Andy823

(11,498 posts)
79. My mother died from Alzheimer's
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:20 PM
Nov 2014

I know how hard it is to watch them fade away not knowing who you are. My mother often mistook me for her younger brother, and then she just got to the point that she didn't acknowledge anyone was around when we voted her.

I sm so sorry for you loss.

livetohike

(22,232 posts)
80. I'm so sorry for your loss sheshe2. My sympathy to you, your family and all who knew and loved your
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:23 PM
Nov 2014

Father. May all the good memories you have of his life live in your heart and bring you comfort and peace .

 

villager

(26,001 posts)
81. Condolences, sheshe2
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:24 PM
Nov 2014

Lost my dad a year ago this past fall.

He had been withering for a couple years, but at least -- except for an occasional interesting "visitation" or two -- he knew who we were, and who he was.

I can only imagine how much harder this must have been.

Your memory reminds of me a little girl I saw in the cab of her dad's truck -- I'm guessing -- a few months ago. It was a school holiday, and the truck was parked near a local Target, making a run of some sort from Central California. I often wondered what that "day away with dad" was like for her.

Your recollection has given me a clue...

classof56

(5,376 posts)
82. Sheshe, please accept my deepest condolences.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:30 PM
Nov 2014

When my Dad died over 20 years ago, I was struggling to hold myself together, uplift my Mom and others, and do what needed to be done. I refused to cry, but my folks' pastor finally said, "Let yourself cry--it's really okay. Your father is worthy of your tears." And I could at last let go. Through the years, I've recalled those words and advised those I know who are dealing with profound loss that their loved one is worthy of their tears. I also have a poem to share, one that was posted by a fellow DUer and which really resonated with me:

Ascension

And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.
- Colleen Hitchcock

Blessings, sheshe--and many hugs.

classof56

(5,376 posts)
204. Thank you, freshwest.
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 11:48 AM
Nov 2014

I love that you wrote a story based on the poem. I'd love to read it, if that would be possible. As a writer, I always enjoy others' stories, and I'm sure yours would be very meaningful to me. Let me know and again, thanks.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
205. Well, it's not based on reading the poem, but the concept behind it. I'll try to edit and PM it.
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 01:08 PM
Nov 2014

Pretty busy right about now with so much offline. Hope all is well with you.

classof56

(5,376 posts)
208. No rush--and thanks!
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 05:01 PM
Nov 2014

I was just watching the Weather Channel and saw the report of power outages up in Western WA, which could be why you're offline? We're okay so far over here in Central OR, with blue skies and sunshine, and chilly temps. Winter Storm warnings are out, though, so we're getting prepared.

Stay warm and safe!

sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
202. Thank you classof56, with love to you and yours~
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 10:55 PM
Nov 2014

Ascension

And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.
- Colleen Hitchcock



pacalo

(24,722 posts)
85. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, sheshe.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:40 PM
Nov 2014

Alzheimer's is a very cruel disease & its effects only get worse as it progresses.

MineralMan

(146,413 posts)
90. You have my deepest sympathy.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:49 PM
Nov 2014

With both of my parents at 90 years of age, every time the phone rings, I cringe. One day it will be the call I dread.

Skidmore

(37,364 posts)
91. Sheshe2, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:49 PM
Nov 2014

Treasure the memories he lost in life and hold them as his legacy to you. Much love to you, my friend.

DeadLetterOffice

(1,352 posts)
92. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 08:59 PM
Nov 2014

My father died earlier this year -- like yours, not a perfect man but I loved him anyway.
It's gonna be rough. Don't buy into anyone who says you have to 'be strong.' All you have to do is keep breathing. The rest will come in time.


H2O Man

(73,997 posts)
95. I'm sorry to hear
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 09:01 PM
Nov 2014

about your loss, Buddy. The death of a parent is very difficult.

I'm always here to talk, okay?

Your friend,
Pat

ClusterFreak

(3,112 posts)
96. My sincerest condolences.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 09:01 PM
Nov 2014

You have posted a lovely tribute which would have made your dad very proud.

I lost my mom last year and posted about it here. Folks here always find the time to stop by to offer kindness and support. Hope you find some comfort in that.

Cha

(299,300 posts)
106. Beautiful tribute to your Dad, she~
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 09:19 PM
Nov 2014

That sounds like a wonderful memory of your father~

Rest in Peace sheshe's Dad

BrotherIvan

(9,126 posts)
108. Sincere condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 09:24 PM
Nov 2014

But the fact that you were able to sit with him and be with him before he passed is wonderful. I wish you all the comfort and solace in the world.

mcar

(42,688 posts)
114. The long goodbye
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 09:45 PM
Nov 2014

Alzheimer's is such a devastating disease for loved ones. I am so glad you were able to spend that time with your Dad, she.

My condolences to you and yours.

shopgirl

(23 posts)
117. So sorry, sheshe
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 10:07 PM
Nov 2014

Long, long time lurker, here. For some reason, your post spoke to me. My dad was not perfect either. But I lost him 8 years ago and still miss him so. He was a great guy, and a democrat to boot! I wish you, peace, sheshe. It's not easy to lose a dad ...

virgdem

(2,141 posts)
118. My deepest condolences to you, sheshe...
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 10:12 PM
Nov 2014

on the loss of your Dad. I just lost my Dad in March and the loss is still painful for me. May you find peace in the coming days and weeks as you deal with this loss.

roguevalley

(40,656 posts)
136. heshe2, I am so sorry. I am glad you had a moment with your dad at the end.
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 11:24 PM
Nov 2014

It matters. I remember holding my dad's hand and thinking I have done this for him hundreds of times. You will find that time is your only friend now. Take care and know you are loved.

jimlup

(7,968 posts)
138. my condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 11:32 PM
Nov 2014

it sounds like he had a good death. We can all wish for that...

My mom died suddenly 15 years ago. I think the mourning is probably easier if you have some time to prepare. I was shattered but then felt nothing for several months. Then all of a sudden it hit me like a brick wall. I guess I needed some time before I could even face it and actually mourn.


Again my condolences for your loss.

LeftInTX

(26,275 posts)
142. I'm so sorry, Sheshe2
Sun Nov 9, 2014, 11:51 PM
Nov 2014

Thanks for sharing the memory of you and your dad in his truck cab. Dads are cool that way...

Rhiannon12866

(209,517 posts)
144. I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:09 AM
Nov 2014

I lost my Dad to cancer in 1990 - have been thinking about him even more than usual lately since it was in November - and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. And what a beautiful memory. I've also been thinking about my Dad recently since he'd take me in the voting booth with him and let me pull the levers. I may have voted for Nixon, LOL, but I cherish the memory. Thank you for your moving post. Your Dad would certainly be proud...

blue neen

(12,349 posts)
146. I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:12 AM
Nov 2014

Treasure that memory of your dad, sheshe, and any others that come along. The memories will help sustain you in the saddest of the days.

cal04

(41,505 posts)
148. I'm so sorry for your loss sheshe2
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:29 AM
Nov 2014

My thoughts are with you and your family.
Beautiful tribute to your dad

mnhtnbb

(31,516 posts)
149. I am so very sorry for your loss sheshe2.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:43 AM
Nov 2014

How lucky you were to have been his little girl and to see the whole wide world with him.

for you and for your dad

Behind the Aegis

(54,213 posts)
154. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 01:27 AM
Nov 2014


My great-grandmother had this disease, back in 88 when she passed, but it didn't really have a name. By the end, she didn't recognize anyone except my mother and me...kind of...she thought I was a younger version of my mother. I look an awful lot like my mom despite being male. When she didn't recognize my father, he cried. Until that point in my life, I had never seen that man cry, not even when he lost his own parents.

I am so sorry you and your family had to endure the pain of that disease.



sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
156. In the beginnig we brought him home.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 01:57 AM
Nov 2014

Long story,he lived in upper state NY.

We took him back from his wife who had divorced him, yet still they lived together, she had the money and did not want to care for him financially. One day he fell. She took him to the ER and walked away saying that he was their problem. She dumped my father. I would say a nasty word here, yet that is one I don't say. We went to NY, my sister and I, to pick him up and bring him home.

Ya, they don't recognize you. My dad kept thinking I was his sister.

For all of us BTA, it is a hard disease, it hurts us all

Hekate

(91,677 posts)
160. I'm so sorry for yor loss, sheshe
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 03:29 AM
Nov 2014

Even when Death comes as a friend at the end of a long life, those of us who are left behind miss our dear ones so much, and realize that a link in the chain to our past has been broken. Now we ourselves are the link.....

Be well, and remember the good times.

Violet_Crumble

(36,011 posts)
161. I'm so sorry for yr loss, sheshe....
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 03:49 AM
Nov 2014

My mum's recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and even in the early stages I hate what it's doing to her. My thoughts go out to you and yr family.

I know you don't like my sort of music much, but this one just seems right...



davidpdx

(22,000 posts)
163. I am sorry to hear that sheshe
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 04:07 AM
Nov 2014

Losing a parent is so hard and nothing can prepare you for it. Alzheimer's disease is terrible and I can't imagine having to go through years of watching a parent go through that. It must really be hard to do.

All I can say is remember the good times you had with him and try not to focus too much on the bad. I think he certainly would want that for you.

I lost my dad 11 1/2 years ago and I guess in a way he was lucky because he went quick. There are always the very smallest things that I see or do in life that remind me of him.

Live and Learn

(12,769 posts)
165. The loss of a parent is always hard,
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 06:15 AM
Nov 2014

no matter their or our age. It is something most of us have to deal with at some time in our lives but we can never be prepared for it. Hugs to you and yours on the loss of someone so near (whether dear all the time or not).

Major Hogwash

(17,656 posts)
168. I am so very sorry to hear this news, sheshe.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 06:52 AM
Nov 2014

Words fail me now in my effort to give you comfort at this time.
But, know this, as time passes, you will feel a little better about things.

Remember the good times you had with your father, and forget the rest.
Yes, I am certain that he loved you, as you loved him.
I have no doubt about that, at all.



BlancheSplanchnik

(20,219 posts)
175. dear she.....
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 11:17 AM
Nov 2014

I wish I could express my sympathies as well as the many heartfelt responses here...they're like a circle of friends gathering around you, reaching out offering our hands to hold onto.....

When my Dad left, it was a long, crazy, tragic story leading up to it.....that's not the point right here, but what I DO want you to know is that there were inexplicable occurrences around the time he passed that shone with a powerful light of meaning. ...spirit, CONNECTION from the heart, made tangible........... clear messages from him, from the REAL him, the Dad he was at the core beneath those many murky layers. And so, I knew it was best to let go of the tragedies. I knew that he knew the what was in our hearts, I knew that there was much more at work than the events at the surface.

You may very well have your own experiences, those 4 hours are one, for example.


CountAllVotes

(20,897 posts)
176. My condolences sheshe2
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 11:27 AM
Nov 2014

I know how you feel. My Dad was born in 1922 as well and passed away almost 20 years ago now. I miss him so very much and I wish he was still here.

I don't know what else to say except I am sad for you.

Warpy

(111,805 posts)
177. Mine left me almost 9 years ago
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 11:31 AM
Nov 2014

I was lucky in that he was sharp as a tack until the day before he died. It was unlucky because there was no sense of release the way there had been when my mother died. Her final illness took over three years to kill her. His was quick.

It gets better. You get used to the empty spot where your dad used to be. The good memories eventually crowd out the bad one. The waves of sadness get less immobilizing.

Granny M

(1,395 posts)
178. Sincere condolences, sheshe2.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:25 PM
Nov 2014

It's so hard to lose our Daddies. I am so glad you have that wonderful memory of traveling with your Dad in the truck. I hope that many more come to mind over the months and years ahead. Peace to you and your family.

jonno99

(2,620 posts)
181. Sorry for your loss.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 12:50 PM
Nov 2014

I was talking last night with my wife about one of my earliest memories: coming home on my bike to see my dad rushing out of the house looking very upset - I'd never seen him like that before. I didn't say anything - I was a confused and worried. As he rushed by me to get to the car he sobbed to me, "my daddy is dying!". And then he left.

Years later I'm now in the place he was - such deep pain.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. God bless...

 

packman

(16,296 posts)
186. Alzheimer takes away so much
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 01:35 PM
Nov 2014

from both the victim and those who love. As long as you remember, the dead never really leave us.

markpkessinger

(8,417 posts)
193. I am so very sorry, Sheshe2
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 05:00 PM
Nov 2014

My favorite aunt is in the late stages of this disease, and yes, is so cruel. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

great white snark

(2,646 posts)
196. I'm so sorry.
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 05:12 PM
Nov 2014

He must have been a great man considering how you turned out.

My thoughts are with you and your family sheshe2. My deepest condolences.

renate

(13,776 posts)
200. that was beautiful and so sad
Mon Nov 10, 2014, 06:09 PM
Nov 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

What a wonderful memory... thank you for sharing it!

William769

(55,301 posts)
203. So sorry I am late to this sheshe I am just beside myself.
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 11:11 AM
Nov 2014

He is in a better place now and not in any pain (I know that doesn't do much for us here but you get my meaning)
May your father rest in peace.

If there is anything and I do mean anything I can do for you, all you have to do is say so.

May you draw your strength of your friends because there is plenty of it here for you my dear sweet sheshe.

sheshe2

(84,513 posts)
206. Thank you William, I do know he is in a better place.
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 01:29 PM
Nov 2014

I will be forever grateful for my sisters instincts, knowing it was the end. I am so happy that I had that time with him to say goodbye.

Thank you for your kind words and for being my friend.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
207. I am glad your dad lived 92 years but am very sorry he is gone.
Tue Nov 11, 2014, 01:53 PM
Nov 2014

All that wisdom from 92 years, your dad lived through some of the most important history in modern times. I can't even think about losing my parents without getting upset. Beautiful poem.

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