Obama to Move to Doorman Building

[IDemo]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Barack Obama has decided to move his family into a full-service doorman building in Washington, D.C., saying that “it just makes more sense right now.”

“It really will work better for us,” Obama said in a press conference Tuesday morning. “In addition to the doorman, there’s a guy at the front desk, and, if anyone comes to see you, the desk guy will call up to your apartment first to make sure it’s O.K.”

The senior doorman at the Obamas’ new building, Alex Kornash, seemed unfazed about providing security for the President. “I’ve been a doorman for twenty-three years,” Kornash said. “Someone doesn’t belong here, you tell them to go away. What’s so hard about that?”

The 2,140-square-foot, three-bedroom condominium that the Obamas will call home includes many amenities, including central air-conditioning, a washer/dryer and all new stainless-steel appliances, according to its real-estate listing.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-move-doorman-building?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%28124%29&CUST_ID=16449100&spMailingID=7164989&spUserID=NzA5MDgxNTQ3NDAS1&spJobID=523299898&spReportId=NTIzMjk5ODk4S0

[unblock]

1. !

[Kber]

2. Genius!

[monmouth3]

3. Andy is in a class by himself...Bwahahaha.....n/t

[appleannie1]

4. Now Freepers, who don't understand satire, will complain that

Obama is so elite that he thinks nothing of wasting taxpayer money on a doorman.

[SeattleVet]

27. No, it will have to be labeled 'SATIRE' in the title when posted there...

JimRob has decreed that all satire be labeled as such...so as to not confuse the freepers. They are having a 'hugh' discussion about it.

A few of the less dim ones over there realize that labeling something as satire in the message header sort of kills the whole point of satire.

I guess he's starting to get tired of his supporters falling for the flimsiest of satirical articles and then getting all bent out of shape about them, before finding out that their poutrage was misdirected.

(Not sure about the whole 'trickling' their readers thing, though...must be a cross between tickling and tricking.)

-----------
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3209196/posts

No, FR is not trying to quash satire. However, it should be clearly labeled as such in the title. Some people seem to think it's great trickling our readers into falling for satire. It's not. A lot of people come to FR and scan the headlines clicking on articles of interest. If they're not familiar with the author or source, they may be misled and may even pass it on to others. No thanks.

If you post satire, please label it as "satire' in the title.

[IronLionZion]

28. If they don't like trickling their readers,

then they shouldn't support trickle down policies. They reap what they sow.

[appleannie1]

29. There is a problem there. Most people that post there do not have the brains to know it is

satire or from a satire site before they post and therefore would not know to label it as such.

[CherokeeDem]

5. Borowiz is fantastic....

So clever!!!

[calimary]

6. This would be funny, except for the context.

This whole DISGRACEFUL and rather unsettling affair - with the Secret Service asleep at the switch - is anything BUT funny. This is one time I'm reading Andy Borowitz (whose work I just love) and NOT laughing.

[Jackpine Radical]

8. Asleep at the switch?

Or deliberately anesthetized?

[mopinko]

10. were is the outrage?

i expected to check in here today and see a barrage of posts about the secret service and what has happened in OUR house.

wtf?

[packman]

7. He also needs to get a watch-dog

just for that added layer of protection and put one of those phony "Premises Protected by...." stickers on his door.

[Brigid]

24. They need several of these:

[img]http://kimpossible.wikia.com/wiki/File:German-shepherd-open-the-big-mouth_93829-1600x1200.jpg[/img]

[Shrike47]

9. Or a recording of a barking dog. Then you don't have to argue with the kids over 'walkies.'

[rocktivity]

11. This story is obviously either satire or a hoax

Last edited Sun Nov 9, 2014, 06:10 PM - Edit history (1)

What doorman building is going to let a black family in these days?


rocktivity

[NBachers]

12. Now the Secret Service can be outsourced to the lowest bidder.

[irisblue]

25. won't be Blackwater or Haliburton will it?

[littlemissmartypants]

13. Kicking. Thank you. nt

[dogcatdog]

14. RACIST

This is the ultimate in racism. You mean to tell me, our president feels so unsafe in the white house, home of the so called strongest nation in the world. None of this happened when the cowards were in office.

[IDemo]

15. Foreheadslappingist..

[Stuckinthebush]

16. Double Facepalm

When one just won't do.

[Phlem]

22. When facepalm is not enough

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[ChazInAz]

18. That took too long.

I expected this sort of reply within seconds.

[Aristus]

26. ...

I'm guessing it's not Rick Santorum, or it would be manondog, not dogcatdog...

[A Simple Game]

17. Air-conditioning? And not just a box in the window but Central Air-conditioning!!!

My hard-earned tax dollars better not be paying for no color TV too!!!

I have always wondered why when these Republican pundits mention hard-earned tax dollars someone doesn't ask them what is a non-hard earned tax dollar, and if maybe capital gains is a non-hard earned tax dollar. Would they be open to raising non-hard earned taxes? I bet that would make them sputter for a minute.

[The Wielding Truth]

19. Okay. I'll take the first shift. We can schedule Duer's to stand and protect our Prez.

Honestly, I am so disgusted by the lack of respect this US President gets. Borowitz sarcasm stings.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

23. I'd want to screen the DUers first though.

Wise precaution.

[The Wielding Truth]

31. Yep, because we can't count on the SS to do it.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

30. I volunteer to install an automatic door closer arm and a vestibule lock.....

.... that requires a key to get in and no key to get out. Just like the one on our condo building front door. They're nice because you can't forget to lock the door. I might even throw in a buzzer system.

[BumRushDaShow]

20. They'll also want a bouncer

to screen out any suspicious characters attempting to talk their way past the doorman to get to the front desk guy.

[louis-t]

21. Borowitz!

He always puts the puck in the net.