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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Onion’s tips for being an unarmed black teen in America:
The Onions tips for being an unarmed black teen in America:
Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas.
Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated.
Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing.
Explain in clear and logical terms that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen.
Dont let society stereotype you as a petty criminal. Remember that you can be seen as so much more, from an armed robbery suspect, to a rape suspect, to a murder suspect.
Try to see it from a police officers point of view: You may be unarmed, but youre also black.
Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.
Revel in the fact that by simply existing, you exert a threatening presence over the nations police force.
Be as polite and straightforward as possible when police officers are kicking the shit out of you.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/tips-for-being-an-unarmed-black-teen,36697/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1 efault
CaptainTruth
(6,616 posts)JNelson6563
(28,151 posts)The first time I saw that I had a campaign meeting with my candidate and some college kids to discuss some of their concerns as voters. Sure enough police brutality came up! I couldn't make this Chris Rock bit stop playing in my head! I cannot tell you of what a herculean effort it took to not laugh.
Julie
Brigid
(17,621 posts)But sadly, none of those tips were of any use to Michael Brown.
Paladin
(28,283 posts)Savannahmann
(3,891 posts)Funny, but also incredibly sad.
rurallib
(62,478 posts)with just a few words pointing out absurdities.
DamnYankeeInHouston
(1,365 posts)Depaysement
(1,835 posts)No matter how intelligent, educated or humane you are, act dumb, uneducated and savage. Know your place.
valerief
(53,235 posts)Or stay indoors.
America won't allow them to exist outside of a prison anymore.
Fuck those Divide and Conquer elites for creating these militarized police forces and race haters.
cvoogt
(949 posts)He was shot in the back. Doubt raising arms would make a difference.
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Cali_Democrat
(30,439 posts)Fantastic Anarchist
(7,309 posts)calimary
(81,594 posts)Kicking and Rec'ing - and bookmarking so I can find it easily.
savalez
(3,517 posts)Patrice O'Neal clip
Brigid
(17,621 posts)Do I do this or this ?
KeepItReal
(7,769 posts)hibbing
(10,113 posts)That is awesome, thanks for posting.
Peace
supercats
(429 posts)you still have roughly a 50-50 chance of not being shot and killed by the police.
Left coast liberal
(1,138 posts)It is too damn close to real.
nxylas
(6,440 posts)niyad
(113,860 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)if it wasn't so damn sad.
russspeakeasy
(6,539 posts)HipChick
(25,485 posts)nxylas
(6,440 posts)It's about using satire and irony to make a serious point.