# General Discussion

Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums# DUer 'onestepforward' has passed away.

I'm Terri *onestepforward's* husband Gabriel Marquez and I wanted to let her DU family know she committed suicide last Thursday and I am utterly devastated. She made DU a daily part of her life and she learned so much and made such wonderful connections here over the past few years. She appreciated how important and wonderful this place really is and it was very special to her. It's hard for me to breathe right now but I did want to let her DU family know she *LOVED* all of you so, so much and I wanted to to convey my appreciation to you for all you gave her. You all meant so much to her. Thank you.

Here's a link to her final DU post

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018614115

Once again, Thank you.

**254 replies**= new reply since forum marked as read

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#### Electric Monk

(13,869 posts)#### HangOnKids

(4,291 posts)#### JI7

(89,084 posts)#### silverweb

(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I'm so very sorry for your loss -- and sorry that I didn't really know her.

Thank you for letting us know.

#### RGinNJ

(1,018 posts)#### Paulie

(8,462 posts)#### Mnemosyne

(21,363 posts)Please be kind to yourself.

I know.

#### nilram

(2,862 posts)Last edited Tue May 13, 2014, 11:55 PM - Edit history (2)

So sad for whatever onestepforward could not bear any longer and for your loss.

#### Behind the Aegis

(53,679 posts)#### sheshe2

(82,790 posts)RIP Terri.

#### BainsBane

(52,983 posts)What a tragedy. My thoughts are with you and the rest of her family and friends.

#### polly7

(20,582 posts)Peace and strength to you and yours.

#### DesertRat

(27,995 posts)My thoughts and prayers are with you. Peace be with you.

#### nadinbrzezinski

(154,021 posts)And if there is anything I can do, even if it is just moral support, do not hesitate to call for it. I am sure most people will not hesitate.

#### Hoyt

(54,770 posts)I even sent the link to others.

My wife passed away unexpectedly a little over 5 years ago. Please let us know how you are doing.

#### StarryNite

(9,231 posts)R.I.P. Terri.

#### Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)to you and your family for this terrible loss. Please let us know if there is any way in which we can help ease your pain, even if just a little.

#### Ichingcarpenter

(36,988 posts)You can see what she recommended and what she stood for....

I will miss her. RIP

#### TexasTowelie

(110,320 posts)I'm also going through a tough period in my life and overdosed. She contacted me via DUmail at the end of last month and we exchanged a couple of messages that provided encouragement to me. She regularly posted on some of my OPs and I admired her as a kindred spirit.

I'm not very far away from your location and would be interested to attend a memorial service for her if any are being held.

Please accept my deepest condolences and pass it along to her family also. I will miss seeing her posts on DU.

I am going to cross-post this in the Texas Group since she was an active participant in that group so that others will see it.

#### Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)in knowing that love never dies. It lives within us forever for as long as we give it residence.

#### nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)#### Fearless

(18,421 posts)#### defacto7

(13,485 posts)What a terrible tragedy and a shock. Please be well. There is so little I can say but as a member of this community and the planet I wish you comfort, strength and the peace to move forward. Look to those fireflies.. follow the beauty of that moment.

#### denbot

(9,894 posts)No words can help. Her last post was passed to my wife, and she saved all the images and now are her wallpaper for both her work and private machines.

Again sorry for your loss.

Peace

#### Duppers

(28,074 posts)I know your pain is almost too much to bear right now, so keep reaching out when you can.

As someone else said, please be kind to yourself. You're what we, here, have left of Terri.

{{{HUGS}}}

#### Violet_Crumble

(35,954 posts)I'm so sorry for yr loss, Gabriel...

#### intaglio

(8,170 posts)She loved you and us but the hellish illness of depression overcame her. Remember, you shared many good times and that you gave her the greatest gift - extended happiness.

#### No Vested Interest

(5,150 posts)to DU, where solace is freely given to one's heartache.

I did not know Terri, but clearly she was special, and she will be missed.

#### RainDog

(28,784 posts)I'm so sorry, so very sorry to hear.

#### villager

(26,001 posts)Thank you for posting it here, as hard as that was to do.

Condolences, and please take care of yourself in this tough, tough time

#### MADem

(135,425 posts)Can't imagine what you are feeling or how you're coping; suicide is something that the people left behind often have tremendous difficulty resolving in their minds. It's just not well understood, and it is terribly painful for family and friends. I am so sorry for your loss.

#### awoke_in_2003

(34,582 posts)I haven't seen fireflys since I moved to Texas.

#### mazzarro

(3,450 posts)It is a tragedy that her DU family was not able to help her in her time of distress. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of the family and friends.

#### barbtries

(28,631 posts)#### eridani

(51,907 posts)#### Solly Mack

(90,705 posts)#### Hekate

(89,645 posts)... and may Terri rest in peace.

#### tofuandbeer

(1,314 posts)#### spooky3

(34,049 posts)#### davidpdx

(22,000 posts)I didn't know her unfortunately. We seem to be having a lot of deaths on DU lately.

I know how she feels and have been there on the edge way too many times. It makes me sad to hear about her passing.

I hope someone will at the end of the year put together a photo montage of all the people we lost so we can be reminded. I always don't catch these types of notices and I'm sure many other's don't either unless they are here a lot.

#### murielm99

(30,561 posts)Please stay in touch with us. I don't know what else to say. Maybe we can be of some comfort to you.

#### LibDemAlways

(15,139 posts)memories of better days will help to sustain you and bring you comfort during this sad time and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Sending sincere condolences and wishing you strength and peace.

#### MissDeeds

(7,499 posts)This breaks my heart. I am so sorry for you and your loss, and for the pain that dear "onestepforward" could not overcome. You both will be in my thoughts in the coming days.

#### area51

(11,812 posts)#### KT2000

(20,518 posts)I remember that post. So very sad and I am so sorry for your loss.

Peace to you.

#### Unknown Beatle

(2,671 posts)RIP Terri

#### Tsiyu

(18,186 posts)My oldest sons' dad did this as well. I spent a lot of years feeling guilty, thinking I could have done something.

His own dad - who found him - helped me come to terms with that guilt.

It's funny, I was just talking about her firefly thread a few hours ago. My daughter called today and was talking about friends from California being amazed by fireflies. I was telling my daughter about onestepforward's thread and how cool it was, and how from that thread I learned there aren't fireflies everywhere in the US. I could SEE the images she posted so clearly in my head as I was describing them to her.

Then I click on that link to her last post and....just.......wow.

Thank you for telling us about this horrible loss. Please reach out to DU if and when you need someone to lean on. DU is a very supportive place.

We have lost a dear one. I can see that in her eyes.

RIP Terri Lea...

May you find peace

#### mahina

(17,405 posts)Peace to you, your husband and your ohana.

Sorry to see you go. A hui hou.

#### nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)that someone could take her own life so suddenly and (seemingly) without warning.

Depression is an awful, awful thing. For some it's as deadly as cancer.

#### KC

(1,995 posts)know about Terri. This must be so hard for you. She will be missed here on DU!

RIP Terri

#### Cha

(294,597 posts)RIP Teri Lea Gwin~Marquez

#### Jim Lane

(11,175 posts)I liked the fireflies but I see she was also the one who posted the baby meerkats last month: http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018602980

I sent that link to a couple people.

Best to you as you try to cope with your loss.

#### The Traveler

(5,632 posts)I am so sorry to hear this news. I wish I had words that were helpful at times like these but I don't. I know this hurts like hell, and it is going to take awhile for that to ease. Keep your friends close. Know you will find lots of support here, too. Take care, bud.

Trav

#### AverageJoe90

(10,745 posts)Terri will be missed by all of us. R.I.P.

#### Joe Shlabotnik

(5,604 posts)What a loss for all. I sincerely hope that your family finds strength and peace and understanding as you work forward through this incredibly difficult time. (and her final post was so beautiful too)

#### mnhtnbb

(31,258 posts)I saw the thread she posted about the fireflies and just loved it!

Such magical photos.

While I didn't know Terri, I am so saddened to know that she was dealing

with so much pain that she could only find one way to make it stop. It must

be just utterly devastating for you. Please come here to DU to share your

grief. Sending cyberhugs.

#### AngryDem001

(684 posts)#### shenmue

(38,480 posts)#### malaise

(266,746 posts)#### napkinz

(17,199 posts){{{{AllenVanAllen}}}}

#### Heather MC

(8,084 posts)#### MerryBlooms

(11,673 posts)#### livetohike

(21,998 posts)have help to ease the sadness of her loss. Please stay with us on DU - our family will miss Terri's posts and are here for you. Rest in peace Terri

#### theHandpuppet

(19,964 posts)She will be sorely missed but lovingly remembered.

#### Scuba

(53,475 posts)#### maddezmom

(135,060 posts)My condolences to you. RIP Terri.

#### Live and Learn

(12,769 posts)so hard for them to accept and live in this utterly imperfect place.

Thank you for letting us now and my sincerest condolences to you.

On the rare occasion that I am fortunate to see a firefly, I will be definitely think of Terri and be reminded that good souls do exist.

Surviving a spouse, is always hard and losing one to suicide is nearly unbearable. But there is very little one can do to protect these sensitive souls from the world that they cannot bear.

I think DU is a refuge for many perceptive and sensitive individuals. It is extremely unfortunate that even those of like mind and those closest to an individual can't always be enough to shelter one from the sometimes unbearable realities of this life.

Again, my sincerest condolences upon your (and our) great loss.

#### brer cat

(24,062 posts)I will never see a firefly again without thinking of Terri. I hope that you find comfort in the memories she left behind.

#### cate94

(2,788 posts)for your loss.

May Terri RIP

#### Hoppy

(3,595 posts)Be sure to take care of yourself.

#### azurnoir

(45,850 posts)may you find the strength and healing to get you through this

#### Dorian Gray

(13,453 posts)for your loss, her husband's loss and that she took her own life. Extraordinarily sad.

#### Cooley Hurd

(26,877 posts)My sincere condolences.

#### Proud Liberal Dem

(24,305 posts)n/t

#### Skidmore

(37,364 posts)Please accept my condolences and warm thoughts.

#### B Calm

(28,762 posts)#### PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)#### Rhiannon12866

(200,568 posts)Last edited Mon May 12, 2014, 07:07 AM - Edit history (1)

And I remember that post, recommended it early on, thought it was beautiful, as was she. Words fail me, thank you for letting us know and my heart goes out to you...

#### Surya Gayatri

(15,445 posts)Terri here, but the wish is no less sincere. Be sure to take good care of yourself . You are fragile and vulnerable right now.

P.S. Terri appears to be a wise soul. This life is but one step in a much greater journey and she has moved on.

#### SamKnause

(12,968 posts)I am truly sorry.

#### 99Forever

(14,524 posts)#### whathehell

(28,871 posts)How good of you to think of us...Please take care of yourself, it must be so hard for you now.

#### Lefta Dissenter

(6,608 posts)Words just can't express how sorry I am. I hope you are surrounded with loving people who can support you in this terribly difficult time.

I am so, so sorry.

#### AllyCat

(15,872 posts)Thank you for letting us know. May peace come to your family in time. Godspeed Terri

#### stonecutter357

(12,669 posts)#### Ferretherder

(1,445 posts)...to carry on without her. I will send all the positive vibes I can muster your way.

So sorry for your loss.

#### etherealtruth

(22,165 posts)There are no words

#### myrna minx

(22,772 posts)#### GentryDixon

(2,939 posts)May you find peace.

#### TBF

(31,870 posts)Thanks for letting us know what happened and I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

#### a kennedy

(29,261 posts)#### riqster

(13,986 posts)#### GreenPartyVoter

(72,376 posts)#### Bossy Monkey

(15,863 posts)#### Demo_Chris

(6,234 posts)#### meegbear

(25,438 posts)#### handmade34

(22,753 posts)#### spanone

(135,418 posts)#### xchrom

(108,903 posts)#### Call Me Wesley

(38,187 posts)May she be free from suffering. Peace and comfort to you and yours.

#### BumRushDaShow

(125,558 posts)I am not a lounge lizard but her thread bubbled up on the front page showing a photographer's long-exposure pics of fireflies.

I hope her pain is gone now and she has joined the little lightning bugs in the glow of the universe.

#### GentryDixon

(2,939 posts)#### MuseRider

(34,018 posts)Keep breathing no matter how hard it is.

Sending wishes for peace for both you and Terri.

#### blm

(112,759 posts).

#### ctsnowman

(1,903 posts)#### RKP5637

(66,959 posts)#### marions ghost

(19,841 posts)for sharing her story and yours. So sorry to hear. Glad that DU meant something important to Terri. We all need connections and affinity groups can be found.

It's obvious how much you cared AVA. We feel your grief and shock. Sometimes we don't have loved ones as long as we imagine we will and there's no fault or blame. This is the condition of life as we know it. It is fragile and fleeting. Beautiful and magical, and harsh as jagged rocks.

But now she flies with the fireflies in limitless freedom and joy.

May you find peace and wisdom through this.

Love is all,

marion

#### lovemydog

(11,833 posts)and may you, Gabriel, honor her by living with a joyous spirit. Thank you for your post.

#### yellerpup

(12,247 posts)My heart goes out to all who loved her.

#### BarbaRosa

(2,683 posts)I so sorry.

#### JustAnotherGen

(31,501 posts)#### laundry_queen

(8,646 posts)#### 66 dmhlt

(1,941 posts)#### raouldukelives

(5,178 posts)#### Sissyk

(12,665 posts)Please surround yourself with family and friends.

#### rurallib

(62,291 posts)condolences from the rurallib family

#### City Lights

(25,171 posts)May you find peace...

#### antiquie

(4,299 posts)#### warrior1

(12,325 posts)#### TeeYiYi

(8,028 posts)I am so sorry. May she find peace.

TYY

#### greatauntoftriplets

(175,561 posts)#### merrily

(45,251 posts)I am so very sorry for your loss.

I don't know what else to say. I wish I did.

#### alfredo

(60,049 posts)#### matt819

(10,749 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss.

Great last post.

#### AllenVanAllen

(3,134 posts)my heart is broken. this world has lost one the most beautiful, kind and caring souls i've ever met. she showed me how to use my wings. she told my how to reach the stars. she inspired me to be brave and open my heart to let in healing light and chase away darkness. she was my greatest teacher and my best friend. she was miraculous, she was magic. she was true depth. she made me a better man. this beautiful girl, i still feel her now. she moves inside me. she will live within me for all of my days. yes, my heart is broken and i'll never be the same but i am so grateful for every moment i had with her. i was so lucky to have shared part of her journey with her. and in my heart i feel her journey is far from over.

i love you my darling wife. i will carry you in my heart forever

this was her favorite song. she adored this version and to me it feels like her theme. it describes her heart. yes, it does so well.

i'll let everyone know information about the visitation on

*saturday the 17th*here in houston texas later on today. thank you guys.

#### toby jo

(1,269 posts)... a Vincent with her starry night.

#### Puglover

(16,380 posts)I wish you strength and healing.

#### Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)#### Evergreen Emerald

(13,067 posts)I enjoyed reading her posts. I am so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. My best to you.

Emmy

#### sybylla

(8,391 posts)I had a brother-in-law commit suicide. It's a completely different kind of death to mourn, with different obstacles to overcome. There's still a lot of stigma in our society for suicide. And a ridiculous amount of blaming family and friends who didn't (and couldn't possibly) find a way to stop it.

There are organizations out there to help you and onestepforward's husband and family deal with it all. My local org is called Survivors Of Suicide (SOS) because that's exactly what you need to do - find a way to survive the suicide of a loved one.

If you need someone to talk to who understands and won't judge, message me and I will give you my contact info.

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in knowing you were a friend to someone who truly needed one.

#### hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)#### gademocrat7

(10,595 posts)#### panader0

(25,816 posts)#### Beaverhausen

(24,462 posts)Condolences to you and your family.

#### graywarrior

(59,440 posts)Peace and love.

#### William769

(54,906 posts)May she rest in peace.

#### sinkingfeeling

(51,003 posts)#### Sissyk

(12,665 posts)The Dragonfly Story

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water

under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle

in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple

and comfortable life in the pond with few

disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community

when one of their fellow beetles would climb

the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again.

They knew when this happened; their friend was dead,

gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt

an irresistible urge to climb up that stem.

However, he was determined that he would not leave forever.

He would come back and tell his friends

what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water

onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired,

and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap.

As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up,

he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly

with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty

of a whole new world and a far superior way of life

to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends

and how they were thinking by now he was dead.

He wanted to go back to tell them,

and explain to them that he was now more alive

than he had ever been before.

His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water.

He could not get back to tell his friends the good news.

Then he understood that their time would come,

when they, too, would know what he now knew.

So, he raised his wings and flew off

into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

from MountainWings.com

It helped my young nephews through the hard time of the loss of their mother. Then, me through the loss of my younger brother even though it was meant, I think, for kids.

Since Terri liked fireflies I figure she would like dragonflies. And you will start noticing them all around you; their beauty, grace, and poise.

Peace to you, AllenVanAllen!

#### WillyT

(72,631 posts)Peace...

#### TorchTheWitch

(11,065 posts)I'm so very sorry! I never seem to know the right thing to say in times like these, but both you and her are in my thoughts and prayers.

#### riverwalker

(8,694 posts)Gabriel, we are all here for you.

#### scarletwoman

(31,893 posts)May you find peace and strength.

#### mopinko

(69,554 posts)i think a lot of women depressives love so hard it is like an undertow.

and tho this was perhaps a preventable tragedy, that doesnt mean that the tools were in the right hands at the right time with just the right thing to say. nobody knows what that would have been for her.

to you and yours. she was a lovely woman. embrace your broken heart. it is the only one you have.

xoxoxoxoxooxo

#### LoisB

(6,867 posts)#### valerief

(53,235 posts)#### cyberswede

(26,117 posts)Condolences to you and your family.

Her last post was beautiful.

#### 2naSalit

(84,939 posts)#### greatlaurel

(2,004 posts)Thank you for letting us know. Be extra gentle with yourself and take care during this difficult time.

#### Sheepshank

(12,504 posts)I am so sorry for such devastating news. Gentle hugs to you and the rest of the family dealing with such tragedy.

#### nolabear

(41,825 posts)She was lovely, as were the bits of herself shared here. I hope you'll know your sorrow is echoed by those of us who knew her even a little.

#### Greybnk48

(10,132 posts)Please accept my sincere sympathy. She will be missed.

#### magical thyme

(14,881 posts)#### Tom_Foolery

(4,688 posts)#### LiberalLoner

(9,756 posts)Not many posts on DU make me cry. This one did.

I am so sorry. May the angels comfort you during this time of grieving.

#### armed_and_liberal

(246 posts)Very sad to hear of your loss, I lost a loved one to suicide some years ago and it still hurts.

#### Coventina

(26,734 posts){{{Gabriel}}}

Please let us know how you are doing.

I remember, from my own losses, how long the process of grieving can be.

This community will be here for you, every step of the way.

#### bigtree

(85,590 posts). . .

#### MoonRiver

(36,926 posts)R.I.P. Terri

#### kairos12

(12,759 posts)#### Amaril

(1,267 posts)Know that we're all here for you, Gabriel.

Rest peacefully, Terri.

#### CrispyQ

(35,948 posts)Rest in Peace, onestepforward. You will be missed.

#### octoberlib

(14,971 posts)"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us." -Helen Keller

#### broadcaster75201

(387 posts)nt

#### MissB

(15,798 posts)I loved that last post of hers.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

#### Gothmog

(142,834 posts)#### Eleanors38

(18,318 posts)#### progressoid

(49,616 posts)#### cp

(6,440 posts)Dear Gabriel,

Three of our friends have lost loved ones to suicide. It's a terrible loss.

When you are ready, this is an excellent book:

Suicide survivors : a guide for those left behind, by Adina Wrobleski, Minneapolis, Minn. : Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, 2002. (at most public libraries or http://www.save.org)

Please be kind to yourself and let others give you kindness. We care about you.

cp family

#### niyad

(110,955 posts)DU is a family, and your family is here for you.

#### elleng

(128,928 posts)Thank you for posting, and our thoughts are with you.

#### ScreamingMeemie

(68,918 posts)I will keep you in my thoughts.

It is hard. So very, very hard. Know that you are not alone.

#### mokawanis

(4,427 posts)My condolences to you and to other family and friends.

#### PumpkinAle

(1,210 posts)and may Terri RIP.

#### glinda

(14,807 posts)looked and seemed to be an amazing human. So sorry she was sad and could not stay with you or us. This is deeply and sincerely heartbreaking news. What a gentle, lovely and thoughtful soul she seemed to be.

#### Iggo

(47,439 posts)#### steve2470

(37,454 posts)#### Feral Child

(2,086 posts)Sincere condolences, Gabriel.

#### locks

(2,012 posts)as I don't get to see them in the west. She will be sorely missed, I'm sure. Thank you for the post and we will all be thinking of you.

#### Tikki

(14,520 posts)The Tikkis

#### CherokeeDem

(3,709 posts)May you and your family find peace in her memory....

#### nclib

(1,012 posts)#### virgdem

(2,111 posts)May she rest in eternal peace!

#### Lifelong Protester

(8,421 posts)I am so sorry for your loss-words seem pretty inadequate.

#### Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)She was beautiful and talented.

#### joeybee12

(56,177 posts)#### Blue_In_AK

(46,436 posts)#### joanbarnes

(1,714 posts)#### SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)#### LiberalEsto

(22,845 posts)and remember, we are here for YOU if you need to vent, or need good vibes, or cyberhugs, or just to hang around.

#### uppityperson

(115,672 posts)#### ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)We lost my stepson to suicide last September. Even so, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. All my best to you and your family. Hang in there, Gabriel, and please let us know if you need anything or just want to talk.

#### herding cats

(19,516 posts)My thoughts are with you.

#### Worried senior

(1,328 posts)She was a beautiful person.

#### angel823

(409 posts)Nothing we can say will help much, probably, but know we are here.

Gabriel, if your profile is up to date, I am close by. If you or your family need anything, please pm me.

Angel in Texas

#### Fumesucker

(45,851 posts)Fitting I think.

#### Damansarajaya

(625 posts)In these photos, she looks thoughtful and kind.

#### Liberal_in_LA

(44,397 posts)#### louslobbs

(3,224 posts)This is just so sad.

Lou

#### MannyGoldstein

(34,589 posts)Peace to you.

- Manny

#### TygrBright

(20,696 posts)Some things you need to know, if you don't know already:

It was her decision. Whatever the specific brain disorder that made life so unbearable for her, it wasn't your "fault" or ANYONE's. It's a complex disease, and sometimes, like now, that fucker wins.

There are people who want to help you: Let them. Even though the pain is still raw and fresh and awful and you may want distance and only the most familiar loved ones, it's BECAUSE that pain is so awful that you and Terri's other dear ones need some help from professionals experienced with this situation. Please seek it out, and accept it.

Be with friends, be with loved ones all you can. Grieve. Do not let the shame and doubt and anger and all the other baggage that goes with suicide derail the process. No matter HOW she died, Terri has died, and you have the loss to deal with.

You have friends here. Terri's friends, your friends. Yeah, it's only an "online community," but you know what? The cool thing about online communities is that we're here, 24/7. A few keystrokes away. We're here during the sleepless nights, the empty times. Use us.

Finally-- this is a bit of wisdom passed on from a family member after her brother (a cousin of mine) killed himself: "It hurt too much for him to be himself here. It hurt too much for my love to reach him, maybe. Now that he's not here, I still have that love, it's all still here, and it's here because of him. He'd want me to do something positive with that love, since he couldn't. It's the best thing I can do for him."

Live.

Grieve.

Love.

respectfully,

Bright

#### aikoaiko

(34,077 posts)[IMG][/IMG]

#### get the red out

(13,453 posts)I wish for healing for her friends and family.

#### freshwest

(53,661 posts)#### Squinch

(50,348 posts)You and she are in my thoughts. I wish you peace.

#### nashville_brook

(20,958 posts)#### TxDemChem

(1,918 posts)#### AllenVanAllen

(3,134 posts)the outpouring of love and support has touched me so deeply and made it possible for me to start to make it through this terrible loss. i can't thank all of you enough. i wanted to let everyone know we're going to have a visitation for Terri on Saturday the 17th from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm at

*Santana Funeral Directors*located at

*401 Ssgt. Macario Garcia Drive, Houston TX 77011 ph. (713) 921-3000*

everyone is welcome. thank you so much.

#### Rider3

(919 posts)She was a beautiful person.

#### WheelWalker

(8,924 posts)#### struggle4progress

(117,752 posts)hoping your memories of better times will comfort you

#### KBlagburn

(567 posts)#### rhett o rick

(55,981 posts)#### Starry Messenger

(32,341 posts)I'm very sorry for your loss. Peace to you and your family.

#### silvershadow

(10,336 posts)for support wherever you can. There are survivors groups all over the country, hopefully you can find one close. My thoughts are with you.

#### Ohio Joe

(21,534 posts)RIP

#### angstlessk

(11,862 posts)k&R

#### democrank

(10,990 posts)RIP~

#### JesterCS

(1,827 posts)#### countryjake

(8,554 posts)#### Ilsa

(61,633 posts)#### pacalo

(24,721 posts)This is heartbreaking.

#### Boomerproud

(7,834 posts)Gabriel, your two posts have already had a healing effect and you are a remarkable man for even posting in your time of loss. Please let all of DU help you.

#### alsame

(7,784 posts)you and all who loved her

RIP Terri, you will be missed here

#### Lisa0825

(14,486 posts)So sorry she was hurting, whatever the reason, and so sorry for the pain you are enduring now. I wish I could give you a hug for real.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

I wish there were something I could say that could help, but I know it's impossible. I hope that knowing so many people care is at least some small comfort to you.

#### AAO

(3,300 posts)#### msanthrope

(37,549 posts)#### randys1

(16,286 posts)#### snacker

(3,619 posts)I'm so sorry. Peace.

Response to AllenVanAllen (Original post)

Name removed Message auto-removed

#### Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)I really enjoyed her last post.....may fireflies light her way.

#### calimary

(80,155 posts)I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this. I'm so sorry! Thank you for posting this so we know. After awhile when one doesn't see a post from them, one does start wondering. I'm so sorry. Be at peace, at last, Terri Lea. And Gabriel - you have all our prayers and sympathies. You do not mourn alone.

#### xfundy

(5,105 posts)I've been there. I'm so sorry she couldn't go on and be there for you.

#### Jefferson23

(30,099 posts)#### appal_jack

(3,813 posts)Condolences to you, Gabriel. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful last post onestepforward gave us all.

As Mary Mother Jones said long ago, "Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living."

-app

#### NRaleighLiberal

(59,910 posts)#### Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin

(106,166 posts)My condolences to her family.

#### Terra Alta

(5,158 posts)She was beautiful. May she rest in peace.

#### go west young man

(4,856 posts)her photography is amazing. A little dedication to an artful spirit who has flown to the sky. Peace to you.

#### ClusterFreak

(3,112 posts)Your tribute to your late wife is very moving and inspirational.

I hope you find peace in the days, months and years ahead.

#### FourScore

(9,704 posts)#### renate

(13,776 posts)What a terrible loss, and I am so sorry for your pain as well as for hers.

#### cordelia

(2,174 posts)#### Autumn

(44,543 posts)#### BlancheSplanchnik

(20,219 posts)Please seek out support and compassion. You need that now and for the long haul. I am so so sorry.

#### senseandsensibility

(16,261 posts)There are many words of wisdom and comfort on this thread, most much more eloquent than anything I can add. I know that you are experiencing enormous, unimaginable pain. Please don't blame yourself. It's good that you are sharing your pain, and I hope that you find peace.

#### Kaleva

(36,025 posts)So very sorry for your loss.

RIP Terri.

#### LeftyMom

(49,212 posts)If she had a cause she supported where you'd like donations sent in her honor, can you please let us know?

#### Triana

(22,666 posts)She was beautiful. That long-exposure firefly post was one of my favorites! I shared it outside of DU because it was beautiful and fascinating.

My heart goes out to you.

#### noiretextatique

(27,275 posts)#### ladyVet

(1,587 posts)#### AllenVanAllen

(3,134 posts)this is why terri loved her DU family so much. i am more moved and touched than my words can convey. thank you. thank you so much.

*"You thinking of me a year before we met"*

i have this pic on my work table in my studio and it always ticked the shit out of me.

#### warrprayer

(4,734 posts)and thanks for making this such a great place

#### yaddle

(2 posts)<3

“I learned about the sacred art of self decoration with the monarch butterflies perched atop my head, lightning bugs as my night jewelry, and emerald-green frogs as bracelets.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

#### 3catwoman3

(23,658 posts)...touched your life, and what a special person you found her to be. To be able to do this at such a stressful time tells me that you must be an equally remarkable person. I hope you find the strength you need, both within yourself, and from those around you.

You may find people speaking of closure, and making suggestions about how to achieve it. Many of us who have adjusted to life after the loss of a beloved person feel that closure is an elusive and probably non-existent state. We do not "get over" such losses. Rather, you learn to adjust to a new existence. There will still be reasons to cherish your own life and to take joy in things, but perspective will be forever altered.

People will want to help, and will want to know how they can. Tell them not to be afraid to share their memories. People often hesitate to do this for fear of making you sad. Knowing the affection with which your wife is remembered by others who loved her can be helpful.