General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThings nobody says to heterosexuals...
Last edited Tue Feb 18, 2014, 04:59 PM - Edit history (1)
edited for a spelling mistake that was there all day. Just sat back down to a pm letting me know, thanks!
Aristus
(66,487 posts)sufrommich
(22,871 posts)RKP5637
(67,112 posts)the fixation some have on sexual orientation. They judge a person's entire life based on their sexual orientation, it is so stupid. Like maybe that one is straight-straight, maybe that one is straight-gay? Maybe gay-gay? Hmmmmm, maybe straight but a tiny bit gay? I'm always amazed by people who think because 2 guys/girls share a house they have to be gay, like WTF. Damn, stupidity and bigotry often run so deep.
It is ALL so absolutely ridiculous. And then, they pass laws to enforce their bizarre beliefs.
Wounded Bear
(58,758 posts)Many years ago, any male/female co-habitation was assumed to be sexual. The "norm" was you had to find same sex roommates.
Progress?
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)shocked when I bought a house with a guy years ago. They said, two guys can't own a house, houses are only meant for families. Guys can ONLY live in rented rooms and apartments. Early 20th century thinking, I guess. Fortunately, humanity has managed to struggle past that thinking. I remember my sisters saying WTF, what is wrong with them.
When in college, I recall so well the ads in the local paper for some rooms in private houses for college students saying, 'white, no smoking, no drinking, only christians, no female visitors, doors locked at 12 midnight, on and on. Fortunately, we have progressed some.
Springslips
(533 posts)He had to pretend to be gay in order to live with the girls.
Why can't we just get it right?
thelordofhell
(4,569 posts)"I always knew you were straight, because I've got good straightdar."
LuvNewcastle
(16,862 posts)dipsydoodle
(42,239 posts)she's my sister. Got an issue with that.
catbyte
(34,502 posts)It usually stops them dead in their tracks & you can just see the rusty gears grinding as their little pea brains attempt to process the question & the ramifications of it.
MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)That's brilliant!
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)I also tell the anti-choice people that if they don't believe in abortion then they shouldn't have one. Guys especially tend to get speechless at that comment.
Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)And it usually brings the conversation to a screeching halt.
alp227
(32,068 posts)The_Commonist
(2,518 posts)"One night with me and you won't be straight anymore!"
I never did bother to try to find out.
And of course, we remain close friends.
Ratty
(2,100 posts)Did they work? I'll never tell ...
Dr Hobbitstein
(6,568 posts)I had a friend who once used that line on me. I laughed, he laughed.
Later that evening he kissed the girl I was seeing, then came to me and said "that's the closest I'll ever get to kissing you".
We were coworkers, pretty good friends, but he ALWAYS had a thing for me. Once he left the company we worked for, he started coming around the hangout spots less and less, then sort of vanished... I don't think I've seen him but once or twice in the last 7 years.
DeadLetterOffice
(1,352 posts)"Urgh, that's so straight!"
mulsh
(2,959 posts)I've certainly heard most of those line directed at me and other straight people over the years. I guess the difference is in how they're delivered.
I've never been offended by any of them. I can't say the same for my gay and lesbian brother and sisters who have been recipients.
RBStevens
(227 posts)is hilarious!
Ummmm, isn't there more than one way to have sex?
gopiscrap
(23,766 posts)Lisa0825
(14,487 posts)KamaAina
(78,249 posts)RKP5637
(67,112 posts)Rhythm
(5,435 posts)Those shirts were made as a fundraiser for the WVU QSU, and sold at a gallery show by a local photographer who did a beautiful collection titled "What's a gay pose?" in response to overhearing a couple of high school students complaining about the poses being used for yearbook pictures as being 'so gay'...
The Second Stone
(2,900 posts)and he would hit on me about once a week with some of these lines. I thought it was funny. But I wouldn't have if he did it several times a day or week.
VA_Jill
(10,031 posts)"I just don't believe in your lifestyle." Like it's a matter of faith or something? That's one a friend told me.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)DeSwiss
(27,137 posts)uppityperson
(115,681 posts)Great list, thank you.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)look right they are queer!" Seriously, I was told this as a youth.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)Yes I have gay friends and the one thing I noticed was that gay guys always respected my being straight.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)sexual orientation. Then, as I became older, I learned of the laws against LGBT on and on, I was shocked by that.
I was reading recently there are about 70,000 gay marriages in the entire US. To me, that's not very many in a nation with over 300 million people.
I believe the census reporting believes there are 3% to 5% LGBT in the entire US. That's not very many.
I guess I've never understood why some people are preoccupied with other peoples' private parts to the point of being a fetish, and moreover why they are afraid of LGBT, and why they are afraid if LGBT have equal rights to straight people.
The net/net of it to me is some love hatefulness and persecution, and LGBT provides a convenient target for them. And some use religion to justify what is really their love of hatefulness and persecution of others. It just feels good to them IMO.
I often figure no matter what one does in life, probably half the people are going to hate you for one or another thing.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)partner last month. They had been together as long as my wife and I. Only they could not have the rights we had even though they were just as committed as we were. Being in my place there is no way I can justify my sisters-in-law's lack of equality.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)"I heard so and so is heterosexual, is that true?"
"I don't know many straights, so can I ask, how often do you have sex?"
"Do you think your heterosexuality is due to an overbearing/absent parent?"
"Do you honestly think it is acceptable to "flaunt" your heterosexuality in public by holding hands and kissing?"
"Just because I don't support other-sex marriage doesn't mean I am a heterophobe!"
Pointing to random straight people of the other sex..."s/he's straight! You into her/him?"
"Don't you think heterosexuality is a lonely way to chose to live life?"
"Did you hear Rev. Phlem's latest rant against heterosexuals?! I think he's probably a staighty!"
"I am all for equal rights, but don't you people (heteros) understand there is a "time and place" for your concerns?"
"I don't see your sexual preference, I only see a human."
kiawah
(64 posts)one_voice
(20,043 posts)but I did make the glaring mistake in the OP subject line.
Fixed now.
Happyhippychick
(8,379 posts)Nt
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)Oh and another one: "You are alienating your homosexual allies, like me, by calling out our disagreements with your agenda. I have been more of an activist in the heterosexual movement, then you, as a heterosexual, have ever been!"
Zorra
(27,670 posts)William769
(55,148 posts)Mr.Bill
(24,346 posts)" I don't care if your straight, just don't try and cram your lifestyle down my throat."
Response to one_voice (Original post)
Post removed
armed_and_liberal
(246 posts)I just couldn't resist this stereotype
JI7
(89,281 posts)Laughing Mirror
(4,185 posts)I don't know how many times this was said to me when I was a young and out. It was, oddly enough, women who would make this pronouncement. What a waste that I wouldn't be dating them or their daughters or marrying them and having children, I suppose. I was always so stunned by hearing someone say this to me, I never asked the reason.
JI7
(89,281 posts)on others because they did the same thing a hetero couple did. and of course they make sure to say "i don't have a problem with gays" first.
Nanjing to Seoul
(2,088 posts)I've been asked this by gay men hitting on me after they get offended when I thank them for their interest, but I tell them politely I am straight and married.
I am heterosexual and I've been asked this alot.
sheshe2
(83,986 posts)Thanks one_voice!
Response to one_voice (Original post)
Behind the Aegis This message was self-deleted by its author.
blkmusclmachine
(16,149 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)MrModerate
(9,753 posts)Must travel with a pretty cruddy group of heterosexuals.
On a planet with 6 billion people, I have no doubt that such things are said every day. But 'commonly'? As in "I need to teach the broad swathe of the heterosexual population that these statements are offensive"?
I don't think so.
Disclaimer: "That's so gay" became teen slang some time ago, and while offensive, doesn't exactly mean the same thing it used to. So I toss that one out.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)I did a search. I found TWO matches for the word "common." One was poster #17, The_Commonist, and your post. So, your strawman, well, we all know about strawmen from the "Wizard of Oz", don't we?
"Disclaimer: "That's so gay" became teen slang some time ago, and while offensive, doesn't exactly mean the same thing it used to. So I toss that one out."
Really? The meaning changed? Well, it was mighty white of you to let us know.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)Specifically the graphic. Why create a poster, with a message, unless there's a 'common' problem to be addressed? The clear implication is that the offensive statements are made routinely, in every walk of life, and need to be militated against.
In my experience (limited to me, of course) that's not so. The group of people I travel with would find these questions offensive or at least obnoxious, regardless of who they were being asked of.
So I regard the whole concept of the poster to be overblown.
Your inability to parse teenage slang is another issue entirely and something you'll have to deal with on your own time.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)Does something have to be common in order to be a problem? No. It does have to be something which is problematic. The fact you have not experienced these things says nothing of those of us who have and still do to this day, even in an age of so called-GLBT awareness; your posts exemplifies it.
Your inability to understand the phrase hasn't changed, further demonstrates the problem. Basically, it is another way of saying, "Hey gays, stop whining!"
Some things are parsed quite easily.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)And hence more worthy of attention.
It seems germane to me.
And while I would never take it upon myself to lecture to a whole segment of the population based on their sexuality, I might make the following suggestion to anyone: Choose your battles.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)There are some battles, even little ones, which are well worth fighting.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)Nevertheless, I think we agree that a person gets to pick their own battles.
MADem
(135,425 posts)Please take a moment to look at this video before you do any tossing:
Knock it off, indeed!
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)When my son (now past such things, thankfully) used the same phrase.
But my "tossing" was because I agreed that "that's so gay" is something that is offensive and used all the time. My point was that the other obnoxious remarks would be rather rare among civilized people, and so "that's so gay" is an outlier.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)It was intended pejoratively when I was nine and it still is.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)MrModerate
(9,753 posts)LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Less observation, and more simply interpretation... an interpretation which seems at odds with the interpretations (and more relevantly, the experiences) of others.
People do choose their battles. People in fact, choose battles that you appear to trivialize.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)They literally mean "that's so homosexual"? Really?
nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)It may not have a completely literal meaning, but there's still at least the indirect implication that homosexuality is not a good thing. And that implication has an affect on others' attitudes and "norms," even if the person speaking doesn't happen to be particularly homophobic themselves.
MADem
(135,425 posts)And I've been the recipient of one of those comments--the "One night with me..." one--both courtesy of a rather cheeky friend!
I didn't take them in a "bad" way, though--and I do take the point of the flyer, as well.
theHandpuppet
(19,964 posts)Wish I had a nickel for every time my wife and I have heard that one... and we're not even the same ethnic group! We laugh about that one.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Borchkins
(724 posts)B
1awake
(1,494 posts)But I understand the point.
myrna minx
(22,772 posts)BillStein
(758 posts)... who, after learning that my husband and I wee married, asked me "which of you is the woman?"
marble falls
(57,405 posts)Omnith
(171 posts)Response to one_voice (Original post)
Th1onein This message was self-deleted by its author.
I am also called Token Straight Guy by my gay friends.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #80)
Th1onein This message was self-deleted by its author.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)However, the point of the poster is these are things, in reverse, we as GLBT hear; sometimes, quite often.
While it is important to celebrate the openness the world is seeing, the list shows there is a ways to go.
Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #82)
Th1onein This message was self-deleted by its author.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)It was disrespectful toward you.
ETA: If they had been joking, that would have been one thing. I know some who do that to tweak people's noses so to speak.
Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #84)
Th1onein This message was self-deleted by its author.
Behind the Aegis
(54,032 posts)Many people would have had a very negative reaction. I think some ask because they are interested and hoping against hope, others are just being jerks, IMO.