Fundy preacher tells us not to buy Girl Scout cookies!

[Archae]

Screw you, "Reverend" Swanson!

Kevin Swanson Begs You Not To Buy Communist Lesbian Girl Scout Cookies

Submitted by Brian Tashman on Monday, 10/21/2013 2:30 pm

Religious Right activists have long campaigned against the Girl Scouts of the USA, and pastors Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner of Generations Radio have now joined in by urging listeners not to purchase Girl Scout cookies. “Please, I beg of you, do not buy Girl Scout cookies,” Swanson said. “Please, I beg of you, stop buying Girl Scout cookies.” But if they do, he said, they should “take a big, fat, black magic marker” and “start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes.” Swanson warned that the “wicked” Girl Scouts are promoting “lesbianism” and abortion, calling the cookies “food offered to idols.”

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/kevin-swanson-begs-you-not-buy-communist-lesbian-girl-scout-cookies#sthash.yolXvqP9.dpuf

[FSogol]

1. Mmmmhhh. Thin Mints! I'll buy an extra box every time I hear this nonsense.

[sakabatou]

17. Hear. hear

[riverbendviewgal]

26. and please let him know that

He needs to be bombarded with emails and calls poiting out he just helped the girl scouts sell more cookies.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

2. The Girls Scouts should send him a box or two to thank him.

This should help their sales.

Ummm... idol food.

[kentauros]

3. And here I thought they might be complaining about them being like Soylent Green.

"Made with real Girl Scouts!"

[Mnemosyne]

18. They were probably angry they weren't made with real Girl Scouts. nt

[onehandle]

4. Somebody contact Wicked Pictures! Communist Lesbian Girl Scouts with Cookies could be a big seller.

It's like fundies want our minds to go there.

[bluesbassman]

33. Sounds like a great name for an all female Metal band.

Hell, I'd go see 'em and I don't even like Metal.

[pinboy3niner]

5. I can't wait to get my cookies

The instructions they include in the box for doing a satanic ritual to place a curse are going to come in handy now...

[11 Bravo]

8. I hear each box has a coupon for a free goat to be used in a demonic sacrifice.

[pinboy3niner]

13. Great! I was wondering what to serve after the ritual.

[jmowreader]

15. You heard wrong

You send in the box tops from 16 boxes of the same flavor to get the goat. Sixteen just happens to be the exact number to make a pentagram.

[kentauros]

21. What does 666 box tops get you?

[Archae]

42. The exclusive talking Antichrist action figure!

Complete with Whore of Babylon Barbie!

[kentauros]

44. And I know just the store that could probably get, or make, that for you!

Archie McPhee

[jmowreader]

52. A gift certificate for free lipo

[kentauros]

54. From a fundy?

ewwwwwwww

[HubertHeaver]

6. I will buy more than I usually buy.

[onyourleft]

12. As will...

...I, and I already buy too many. They do freeze well.

[progressoid]

7. Hmmm, I've never seen the Lesbian version.

Is that a regional cookie?

[fitman]

9. I always laugh at this pic

[img][/img]

[HappyMe]

11. Crap!

[libdem4life]

27. Oh my. Indeed.

[xfundy]

10. Oh, crap. Now I have to buy some.

And halloween candy, too, since it's all prayed over by witches, presumably at the factory.

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/prophetic-insight/7134-the-danger-of-celebrating-halloween

[yesphan]

14. I'll buy a couple of boxes

and send them to the good rev.

[csziggy]

16. Don't waste the cookies - send him EMPTY boxes! n/t

[kentauros]

22. Empty boxes with all the lettering marked out per his instructions.

Add a note to the package, such as:

"I did as you instructed. However, I could not resist the awesome power of goodness and consumed the contents. Does that make me a Commie Lesbian, or a Lesbian Commie. I wasn't clear on that part."

[riverbendviewgal]

28. that is positive and

Works well to show he got you to buy those cookies.

[kentauros]

31. Hmmm, that just makes me wonder if this is some stealth campaign

by the Girl Scouts of America to make us buy more cookies in "retaliation." I wouldn't put it past them to come up with such a dastardly tactic

[csziggy]

37. ^^this^^

Though I'd be tempted to stuff the box with a brick and send it with only one first class stamp and no return address.

[kentauros]

39. However, I've been told that the Post Office will throw out mail like that.

I don't know how true that is, but I don't think they ask for the balance of postage at the other end unless it's COD or something similar.

Now, maybe a package of six-hundred and sixty-six empty and flattened boxes would work just as well

[csziggy]

40. We recently had to pay postage due on a package from our insurance company

The PO had no problem making us cover the difference. But maybe the fact that it DID have a return address from a reputable company make a difference.

[kentauros]

41. Yeah, I don't really know for sure.

I suppose you could put a return address from one of the Tea Party regional centers on it, too

[csziggy]

48. Oooooh - good idea! n/t

[Kingofalldems]

19. Those cookies are The Mark of the Beast!

Especially the thin mints.

[kentauros]

49. Or are they the Mints of the Beast?

"Itsa wafer thin!"

[Mnemosyne]

20. Why don't Boy Scouts sell cookies?

Because no one wants to buy cookies with BS on them.

[snooper2]

23. is it "fundy" or "fundie"

I always tend to use the latter for those idiots

[nadinbrzezinski]

24. Well we don't, but has nothing to do with the Girl Scouts

Or this fundy.

[spanone]

25. bwahahahahaaa....kevin, baby, lighten up or folks will think you're an asshole.

oops...too late

[jberryhill]

29. But Keebler cookies are made by ELVES!

And, Aerows, this time you are not going to "debunk" me.

That Keebler cookies are made by elves is a documented fact. Were they not made by elves, the FTC would have never allowed their commercials to stand:

[pinboy3niner]

34. I always thought they were made OF elves

They're made BY elves? Well, that's very different. I guess I don't need to buy Keebler anymore...

[lpbk2713]

30. Fuggen idiots

It must really hurt to be that stupid.

[Blue Owl]

32. Girl Scout Cookies = THE BODY OF SATAN

[WorseBeforeBetter]

35. Guess I'm a glutton on top of everything else...

cuz I *ain't* giving up my Thin Mints or Tagalongs!

[rbrnmw]

36. This makes me so proud to have been a Girl Scout

[Autumn Colors]

38. Fine by me

That just means more Tagalongs for me!!!

[Nevernose]

43. Lesbian abortionist:

One hell of a merit badge!

Seriously, I think this is good news for the Girl Scouts and the world. The more people that hear this ridiculous shit -- and the more they are public ally shamed for it -- the more marginalized these lunatic hate mongers will be.

[GreenPartyVoter]

45. I will be buying some extra boxes this year, to help make up

for any meanies who participate in this boycott.

[Warpy]

46. Some of those assholes should be sued for defamation

Stripped of hyperbole and the means to disseminate hatred, they'd soon be out of business.

And that's a good thing.

[Warren DeMontague]

47. Yes, that's what happens when they get the troop together. Offerings to Baal, golden calf-dancing

and bake sales.

[struggle4progress]

50. Oh, please wake up, people! This is just another EvilGirlScoutPlot™ to increase cookie sales!

[kentauros]

55. We should at least contact Kevin Swanson

to give him credit. I'm sure the BSA would gladly make him an honorary member

[LisaLynne]

56. And the size of my pants!

[ladyVet]

51. Yeah, right.

Like I'm giving up my Thin Mints for anybody. Ha

Ha Ha

[SummerSnow]

53. hee hee

[TeamPooka]

57. Communist Lesbian is my favorite flavor Girl Scout Cookie. Those and Samoas.

But I'm not going to throw a Thin Mint out of bed either.

[BlueJazz]

58. I don't buy the cookies but I do give them 5 bucks. The cookies are delicious but fatty,REAL fatty.

[shenmue]

59. I will buy extra Peanut Butter cookies just to piss him off.

I love those.

[gopiscrap]

60. crazy mother fuckers

[BlueToTheBone]

61. Damn him! Now I'm going to gain weight

because I'll have to buy so many boxes.

[DonCoquixote]

62. OK, operation tough cookies in effect

Let there be record sales to show that we do not buy HIS crap...bonus if the GS troop actually has the guts to hire a withc as a Troop Mistress. That way, maybe the fundies can be forced to learn a few ne tricks on the next camping trip >

[ohheckyeah]

63. Corinthians 8:4-8

He doesn't know his Bible very well, does he?

4 So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. 5 For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords&quot , 6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live. 7 But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. 8 But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

64. Weird imagination

Wouldn't be surprised if this guy ends getting arrested for pedophilia.

[xmas74]

65. I just emailed Kevin and thanked him for his support of the Girl Scouts.

Why else would he offer up so much publicity for the organization?

[Ex Lurker]

66. Swanson ran for CO governor a few years ago as a member of the Constitution Party

Part of his platform was that "unrepentant homosexuals" should be stoned to death. He's seriously unbalanced, even by fundy standards.

[LittleBlue]

67. Those peanut butter crispy things

They don't even need to grab me coming out of the store, I walk right up and order like a fast food place