Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks

[iandhr]

VATICAN CITY—Following Pope Francis’ tolerant remarks Sunday about homosexuals and the Catholic Church, Vatican officials reportedly went into crisis mode, announcing that the Pope’s thoughtful message of understanding was clearly taken out of context. “It is not the official stance of the Pope or the Catholic Church that all people of good will who seek the Lord, especially gay people, should be accepted by Christ,” a visibly nervous Vatican spokesman told reporters, adding that the Holy Father was clearly tired after his long trip to Brazil and never meant for his comments to sound caring or realistic. “Homosexuality is a disorder. And this in no way means that, going forward, the Catholic Church will be an open-minded, more sensible organization. I assure you we are just as prejudiced and backward today as we were yesterday. Thank you.” According to an anonymous source close to the Vatican, the Pope is currently being yelled at by Church officials, who are telling him, “You don’t just go off script like that. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/vatican-quickly-performs-damage-control-on-popes-t,33292/

[theHandpuppet]

1. Cardinal Dolan was interviewed this morning on the Today Show

He was interviewed about the Pope's recent statements. Admitted that there has been no change in policy, just what he called "a change in tone". He reiterated that there will be no gay priests, no women priests, no gay marriage, and that homosexuality is immoral.

[Capt. Obvious]

2. Shorter Dolan

Gays will burn in hell but we will gladly accept their money

[rurallib]

3. I see Francis having a short reign

getting shorter every day.

[CanonRay]

4. Damage control for too much tolerance?

Really? Perhaps they need to think about that for a moment or two.

[CurtEastPoint]

5. Onion.

[4_TN_TITANS]

7. It's hard to distinguish The Onion

from the real news these days.

[TlalocW]

6. What's super-Catholic Bill Cunningham been saying about the new Pope?

I haven't heard much from him.

TlalocW