NEWT: I got tired! Like an Emergency Room nurse! So I cheated on my wives! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Holy fuck.

Just now on Andrea Mitchell Reports on MSNBC, Newt explains his "past infidelity."

He just got so tired and empty, like an emergency room nurse on a long shift, and felt so empty, that he had to insert his penis into a vagina that did not belong to his wives.

God Bless America, and God Bless Us...Everyone.

[BDBoop]

1. Gee. Thanks.

Great. Now my brain is playing that great scene from Blazing Saddles.

[LoZoccolo]

3. lol!

[LiberalAndProud]

11. You just discovered Newts campaign theme song.

I believe Madeleine Kahn would approve.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

15. DUzy-worthy!

You NAILED it.

[SpiralHawk]

19. "...I'm not a rabbit..." - America

"...and I do not need another fatcat philandering Republicon chickenhawk screwing things up further."

- America

[Aerows]

37. That was perfect!

LOL. I agree, this is Newt's campaign song, right here.

[Initech]

40. Blazing Saddles win!

[Kennah]

48. It's twue! It's twue!

[reACTIONary]

62. Get your mouth off my elbow!!! (nt)

[Kennah]

90. Wasn't that a line which Brooks himself pulled from the movie?

[reACTIONary]

100. Don't knw who pulled it, but it was Cleavon Little's response to "It's Twue, It's Twue" (nt)

[LoZoccolo]

2. He should do well then.

The President doesn't have to work any long shifts.

[Enrique]

12. good point

[awoke_in_2003]

73. as president....

and I shuddered when I said that, he would just screw us all.

[MADem]

83. Not to put too crude a point on it, but screwing isn't his favorite pastime...

He prefers the ole BJ, because of the same "did not have sex" excuse he excoriated WJC for....

This is not flippant speculation--it's an old story, recently recycled...and I have a link!

http://dailycaller.com/2011/12/07/woman-says-she-performed-sexual-acts-on-married-newt-in-1977-thinks-voters-should-know/

It could be he's just lazy, as well. Screwing takes more effort than he's willing to expend, I suspect.

[awoke_in_2003]

88. thanks for the link. nt

[Cigar11]

4. Newt should just STFU

He doesn't need to explain anymore ... we know already.

He's an embarrassment to his Wives and the Human Race.

[Old and In the Way]

8. Actually, I hope he keeps talking.

He's a serial gasbag, the last think this pompous blowhard will ever do is STFU.

[redqueen]

25. +1

[w8liftinglady]

33. +1... I hope he keeps stepping in it!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. please god. someone stick an apple in this pig's mouth and serve it up.

It is roasted. I tell you. Roasted and well done.

Now, if only he would shut the fuck up



edited for typos

2nd edit for typos in my first edit. oy vey!

[Kennah]

49. The more Newt talks, the deeper he digs

Personally I think it would be cool for Obama to win re-election with 75% of the vote.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

50. Newt will not get the nomination but, if he does Obama will mop the floor with him.

[Kennah]

91. I'd pay to see the President push around a Tiffany's mop

[Tuesday Afternoon]

92. haha. yeah, me too. I would pay to see any member of the political system use a mop.

Any Mop.

[Old and In the Way]

6. Wait...I thought it was his great passion for this country that made him cheat on his wives?

Maybe he was just tired and empty with the first wife, but had great passion to cheat on the second?

[The Magistrate]

32. Indeed, Sir: the Man Needs To Pick a Story And Stick To It....

To be a liar is one thing, to be an incompetent liar quite another.

[JitterbugPerfume]

7. poot Newt

He just loves his country so much!

[Enrique]

9. Florence Newtingale!

i wish I knew how to photoshop!

[klook]

57. Har! Good one.

I'm sure somebody with a little downtime this weekend will cook that up for you...

[malaise]

59. Excellent

[MADem]

89. Brilliant wit! nt

[Skidmore]

10. Walking and breathing definition of a putz.

[rocktivity]

13. The "Cain Train's" a-rollin'

And Newt-ville's the next stop!





rocktivity

[Old and In the Way]

16. Pretty impressive trajectory, though.

Sort like the last big round of fireworks....

[awoke_in_2003]

74. and like a good train wreck...

you just can't look away

[HughBeaumont]

14. This is who gets to run for President.

Not Sherrod Brown. Not Dennis Kucinich. Not Elizabeth Warren. Not anyone who could do this country a smidgen of good.

No, our lot in life . . .



is Newt Gingrich.

"I mean, LOOK at me! You know you want it, who can blame ya? I look in that mirror and I see a young stiff stud, not a deflated 68 year old balloon with a Gray Beret! These womens, they .. they .. they throw themselves at me and the Newtster's a giving kind of guy, so I gives it to them!! You want some of this action? Get a couple'a million bucks and run for congress! Aw yeeeeeeeh . . ."

This dunce, this bovine slob, this nothing . . . this is what we get.

What did we ever DO?

[Matariki]

45. When you put it that way...

[AlbertCat]

68. This is who gets to run for President.

Well, y'know, intelligent, sane people are just so... uppity.

[MH1]

69. when good people like Kerry or Gore run, enough idiots vote against them to allow it to be stolen.

who was it that said, "in a democracy, the people get the government they deserve"?

[HughBeaumont]

86. "HAH! I voted fer DUBYA!! Take THET, Mister "Ah invented th' Internet", hyuk, hyuk . . ."

I wonder where these once-proud people mysteriously disappeared to . . . these twice-for-Bewsh voters.

[JI7]

99. the same fools who said thank god Gore isn't President when 9/11 happened

like why the fuck would you say that ? because 9/11 might have not happened ?

i mean the attacks HAPPENED UNDER BUSH. and they are thanking god or whatever that Gore isn't President ?

fools

[GReedDiamond]

101. Every single dumbass I know who voted for the Dim Son...

...now regards him as the idiot that he always was.

And they seem to dis-remember defending his policies and voting for him twice.

Weird.

[stillwaiting]

70. It's what we DIDN'T do for so long in this country that allowed this to happen.

I hope that we are starting to reverse that course.

Americans HAVE to wake up and start paying attention or we will be subject to this many, many, many more times in the future.

[HughBeaumont]

87. I fear they're only going to get dumber.

The only thing saving President Obama right now is the wet-carpet mountain stigma of Bewsh II: The Sequel crushing the current clownshoe cavalcade of Republican candidates. No one wants to relive the '00s and that's exactly what it's going to be if we continue to choose poorly.

[liberal N proud]

17. Face Palm

[Politicalboi]

18. So being President will give him more

Leisure time so he won't be tired anymore.

[w8liftinglady]

20. I was the head nurse of the MICU -

I worked 60 hours/week....lost a lot of patients to AIDS,overdoses,and pneumonia.never got the urge to bang someone else.

You are scum,Newt.

[uppityperson]

21. having worked as an ER nurse on a long shift, I wanted to sleep, not have sex. Keep talking Newt...

keep alienating more people as you talk.

I was never so tired that I wanted to have sex with a non-partner. WAS so tired I wanted to sleep though.

Doesn't being POTUS involve being tired and empty?

[stevenleser]

64. If you are on FB, please friend me and respond to my post on the subject.

Id love to have your comments.

[w8liftinglady]

22. OK...if you dare...it is at 2:28

http://video.msnbc.msn.com/andrea-mitchell-reports/45700144#45700144

[w8liftinglady]

24. and,don't be afraid to share...

[stevenleser]

65. Wow, shared. Wow.

[drm604]

23. What was his previous excuse?

I think it had something to do with excessive patriotism. I'm not sure which excuse is worse.

[Enrique]

29. there's something wrong with someone who is capable of saying these things

a normal person simply couldn't do it.

[JHB]

26. And he's been tired and empty since before he went to Washington...

Former staffers for his first (unsuccessful) congressional campaign have said he could have won if he'd spent more time campaigning and less time on top of his desk with a young campaign aide (his driver, if you can stand the irony).

[spanone]

27. a turd in life's punchbowl

[jberryhill]

28. Obviously, I need to find out where the ER nurses hang out after hours

[spanone]

30. is newt implying that emergency room nurses have sex when they get tired?

[Matariki]

31. Mr. "Personal Responsibility" - being President is a *lot* more tiring than being a Nurse.

If he deals with being tired in such a shitty, fucked up way, he sure as hell isn't qualified to be President.

[Ikonoklast]

34. So, Newt is fucking, tired?

When he gets tired he needs to re-charge by banging a newer, younger wife, and he re-charges like Popeye eating a can of spinach?

[karynnj]

35. This is crazy on every level - and should offend Callista - as well as all thinking people

For Callista, it says that if he is again working long hours and is stressed out, this is how he deals with it. Now consider that many people saying that running for President with the 16 hour days and extensive travel is the most physically difficult thing they have ever done. In addition, wives are elsewhere campaigning to increase the number of people met.

In addition, there is the fact that she was the mistress last time. How does she feel being described as simply the available person to relieve stress.

This is definitely worse than his pious saying that this was all a past mistake and that he had found God - and that was not too convincing.

Not to mention, I don't recall, but did he ever offer this excuse for Clinton and Monica? I didn't think so.

[Carolina]

36. If Callista is offended

TOUGH! No sympathy here for women who cheat with married men; what goes around comes around. It's called karma and if the brute adds insult by such remarks, so be it.

They deserve each other, but God willing, we, the people, will be spared the horror of these two in the White House!

So keep sticking your foot in it, Newt.

[karynnj]

39. Believe me I have no sympathy for her

Just think that this idiocy that sprouted from her husband's mouth should make her see how little she - or any woman - means to him. Though maybe she is with him for the Tiffany jewelery! I agree that both are despicable people.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

47. It takes two people to have an affair, and Callista was one of them...

...so if she's offended, well...c'est la vie. She'll probably never be half as offended as his former wives, and I'll bet his second wife was REALLY offended by the fact that Newt was boning Callista while still married.

Gingrich, who frequently campaigned on family values issues, divorced his second wife, Marianne, in 2000 after his attorneys acknowledged Gingrich's relationship with his current wife, Callista Bisek, a former congressional aide more than 20 years younger than he is.

His first marriage, to his former high school geometry teacher, Jackie Battley, ended in divorce in 1981. Although Gingrich has said he doesn't remember it, Battley has said Gingrich discussed divorce terms with her while she was recuperating in the hospital from cancer surgery.

Gingrich married Marianne months after the divorce.

"There were times when I was praying and when I felt I was doing things that were wrong. But I was still doing them," he said in the interview. "I look back on those as periods of weakness and periods that I'm ... not proud of."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17527506/

[awoke_in_2003]

76. I just did an image search

on Callista Bisek- what is with republican women? They all look like their faces are going to explode.

[Kennah]

51. That ain't his foot that he's sticking in

[MADem]

84. I think she's fairly obtuse. She managed, apparently, to ignore the fact that her co-workers were

offended by her blatant carrying-on with "Da Speeeekah!"

I can't muster a shred of sympathy for her. Ya get what ya pay for...

[Aerows]

38. Let's see

The first excuse was that he found God and was forgiven. The second excuse was that he loved his country so much, that it caused him to have an excessive libido. Now the excuse is "I was tired"?

So in summation, Newt cheated because he loves his country so much, was tired, and hey, God forgave him so STFU.

Somehow, I don't think that's going to work out any better for Newt than it would for any other man or woman who came home and spouted such nonsense to their spouse. As for Callista, you know she doesn't believe this bullshit because she was one of the ones he was cheating on his former spouse with. I expect someone else to come creeping out of the woodwork with proof that they slept with Newt while he's been married to her.

[Missy Vixen]

42. Let us pray

>I expect someone else to come creeping out of the woodwork with proof that they slept with Newt while he's been married to her.<

Even the non-religious are tempted beyond measure to send a few up in favor of Newt getting caught with his pants down again.

You know it'll happen. I can't wait to see what Callista does to him as well. Something tells me she will make his life unendurable in return.

[CTyankee]

94. Yep, this guy is a serial adulterer but ah, the day will come when Mr. Happy won't

be able to be happy any more, awww...

[Sarah Ibarruri]

41. I cannot think of 1 thing that is redeeming about Gingrich. Not 1.

Not even one.

He's a pig. He's unreliable, unfaithful, not particularly brilliant, self-absorbed like a typical GOP psychopath, does nothing for mankind, has harmed the U.S. savagely, is greedy, amoral, serves no purpose except to take up good oxygen and entirely too much space, and, as if all that were not enough, he's unattractive, fat, and his head is twice the size it should be, even for his rather gigantic body.

If anyone can think of anything at all redeeming about this creature, please let me know. I have failed to think of even one.

What IS scary is that females have sex with this revolting creature. It makes me nauseous to think of anyone having sex with that.

[Kennah]

52. Given the hot air that he exudes, he could serve as a backup to the Goodyear blimp?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

98. You're right. See? There's a use for everyone! :) nt

[butterfly77]

61. LOL!!!

"What IS scary is that females have sex with this revolting creature. It makes me nauseous to think of anyone having sex with that. "

Exactly what I was thinking!

[Sarah Ibarruri]

96. Yes!!! I don't GET IT! No matter how much $$ Gingrich may have stolen

ew! Those women must be really desperate! Must be like having sex with a boar.

[caseymoz]

82. Jon Stewart was right.

Repubs need an intervention not to nominate this guy. If they do, they'll be scraping rock-bottom. Even Glen Beck said Newt was the only candidate he would never support.

You should cut some females some slack in having sex with him. He was once much younger and not as well-known. Now it's definitely hard to understand, unless the money was good.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

97. Yeah? Well, how do you like his younger photo?

http://mostlikelytokill.blogspot.com/2010/06/newt-gingrich.html

No, sorry, there's NO excuse or reason for bedding that creature. It has zero redeeming qualities.

[caseymoz]

102. Sorry, there's absolutely no stereotype to what looks women are attracted to.

Female standards of beauty are all over the map. It's the main reason why a beauty and cosmetic surgery industry can be aimed at women, but not so much at men. Because it's easy to tell what men tend to be attracted to.

And where physical traits in men are identified, or perceived to be identified as preferred by women, men go as nuts as about shelling out money for those improvements as women do. This is shown by the hair replacement and penis enhancement industries. (Before you argue with the latter, remember I said "perceived.&quot

So, some woman, somewhere would look at that very picture, and think that guy is hot. Then we'd have to break it to her that it's Newt . . .

[Sarah Ibarruri]

104. I don't agree with you. Give women a set of pics, and they'll pick

the better built guys with the most symmetrical, good looking faces. There will be a winner.

[caseymoz]

105. Symmetry isn't a stereotype. It's more like a cornerstone of beauty . . .

For both sexes. In anything, not just sexual selection. So, yes, women's standards of attractiveness do obey some general rules. However, I don't believe Gingrich's picture showed he lacked symmetry anyway, so he'd still qualify.

The rest of what you're saying is very dependent on exactly what you mean by "better built," and "good looking faces." The devil is in the details you hide there. Those terms are so vague that there's no use in arguing it. But I suggest you at least look into the science behind it before you dismiss my claim out of hand.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

110. There are standards with classify some people as mostly attractive and others as mostly unattractive

Newt has never fit anything but the mostly unattractive group.

So basically, there's absolutely nothing about the man that is worthwhile. He's an amoral pig, and he doesn't even have looks to help him compensate for his evil, sociopathic soul.

[caseymoz]

111. Think about what mostly unattractive means:

It means, fewer women find him attractive and more women find him repulsive, but you have no idea from knowing that what the variance is. It's wider for women in their attraction for men than it is the other way around.

But it's moot. We both agree, the guy's a douche anyway. And we both agree that any physical attraction anyone has for him is an enigma. Jon Stewart described him as a Lego-head model.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

112. He does look like a Lego-head model. lol nt

[w8liftinglady]

43. Kicking for the evening folks

[sarcasmo]

44. I am sure my wife would love that excuse.

[Solly Mack]

46. and his patriotism....don't forget his patriotism.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2011/03/09/134392580/newt-gingrich-seems-to-blame-past-personal-lapses-on-patriotism

[Monk06]

53. The mental image of Gangrene-itch putting his penis inside another human being is

well........where's my barf smiley?

[pnwmom]

54. It's lucky that being U.S. President isn't tiring.

I'm sure Rethug voters don't want to be responsible for him cheating on Callista.

[nolabear]

55. DU spit take!

In Jesus name, Amen.

[thescreaminghead]

56. I feel like this sometimes.

I feel exactly like this sometimes, so I can relate to what Newt is saying.

Oops...I didn't pledge my allegiance to a woman before God and all of my family. Maybe I can't relate.

[Autumn]

58. that man need to knock off the viagra

[stlsaxman]

60. any youtube link? would love to snark on this in Facebook!

[stevenleser]

63. Wow. Just Wow.

This is the end of his big for the Presidency.

[Hepburn]

66. A reply from the Serial Adulterer

I am impressed...Not!

[Lyric]

67. If stress and exhaustion are enough to make him adulterous and immoral,

then why is he seeking to be President? There is no other job more stressful and exhausting than that one.

Only right-wing hear-what-we-want-to-hear morons could possibly fall for this.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

71. Beware of exhausted emergency room nurses on the prowl for relief.

[Enrique]

93. what time do emergency room nurses' shifts usually end?

just out of curiosity...

[PatSeg]

72. I find it interesting

that when Newt "apologizes" for his infidelities, it is still all about HIM, not those he hurt. I was so tired, I was so passionate about the country, I did things that were inappropriate, etc.

This man is so self-absorbed, he is incapable of feeling any remorse for those around him. I think his only regret is he got caught.

[caseymoz]

80. Not only that, but he praises himself with it!

Like Newt's work was tending the sick and dying, all hours, night and day, and he only "slipped" because he was sooo exhausted!

And when he gave his wife, dying of cancer, her divorce papers, I suppose it was from post-concussion syndrome after using his skull to save the world from that mega-asteroid strike? You see a narcissism and sense of entitlement in every jerky thing he does, and what's more, he's too far gone to know that people would even think it's odd.

[PatSeg]

106. He evidently thinks

everyone else in the world is so stupid that they'll buy anything he says, because he is so "brilliant". He uses words like "basically" and "fundamentally" and some people assume he is an academic, not noticing the context is often just gibberish. Like what the hell is a "secular socialist Islamist society"?

It often sounds like he just took a bunch of impressive words and threw them in a blender. His is a slightly more impressive word salad than Sarah Palin's, because he uses bigger words and speaks with condescending authority.

[caseymoz]

108. An academic . . .

Remember, somebody hired him to teach at a university! If it were just fraud and fakery it would be serious enough. But taking time to publicly praise his superiority when he's caught doing wrong, and he doesn't even perceive or care what others will see in it? That's downright a personality disorder. That's something you see in dictators after they've been reigning unopposed for twenty years and the power has gone to their heads. And Gingrich is already there!

This guy's more unfit to run than even Nixon. Which poses this question: in the post-Dubya years, when are Republicans going to notice that all the standard bearers of Reagan are either dumber than a box of rocks (Dubya himself, Bachmann, Perry), are sociopathically depraved (Jack Abramoff, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld), or are downright mentally ill (Glen Beck, Andrew Breitbart), or all three (Newt Gingrich)? I mean, despite our low estimate of Repubs, this fact will become undeniable sooner or later.

[PatSeg]

109. He clearly has a personality disorder

He treats women like crap, talks down people like he is a god, and takes no responsibility for his actions. Emotionally, he is like a pre-schooler who has to have his way all the time, because the world revolves around him.

He is a user, but he justifies it because he thinks he is so special. Yes, it much like a dictator.

[hue]

75. Uggh! How dare he invoke the nursing profession in his sick rationalizations and evil mouth!!!!! n/t

[Marnie]

77. Is Newt aware of just how many thousand nurses there are in the US.

Not to mention other hospital empolyees who often work 12 hour shifts as well as most of the federal holidays.

Maybe he thinks it's OK to insult nurses since some are in unions.

He should check again most aren't, and they are prone to be religious and conservative.

The Republicans don't see Americans as being of any value, not even as voters, since they can cheat their way into office.

But nurses and doctors will remember Newt's insult.

[caseymoz]

79. My point, too, sort of. nt

[CTyankee]

95. He's being wheeled into the OR and the nurse anesthetist leans over him and smiles...

"This will put you to sleep, Mr. Gingrich..."

Oh, sorry, I've just been reading a Robin Cook thriller where bad things happen in the OR...but actually not because of nurses but because of maniacal doctors!

[caseymoz]

78. Who doesn't need relief from their saintly work ethic now and then?

After tending to sick and dying all hours, day and night, no rest.

I'm sure he quoted exactly what the devil told him about it, and the devil is probably tearing out his horns over the breech of confidence. "I told that idiot not to repeat it in the campaign!"

I suppose Newt isn't going to apologize to graveyard shift nurses, who now might contend with male vultures hanging around the wards looking for some. Hospitals probably don't appreciate this either.

[MADem]

81. What, he thinks he's Nurse Jackie? Good gravy! nt

[siligut]

85. As a nation, we have become inured to crap

:disgusted:

[unkachuck]

103. "...got so tired and empty, like an emergency room nurse..."

....I'm confused, do emergency room nurses cheat on their wives?

[MoonRiver]

107. Ok, I get it.

Newt was using the term "tired" as in "tired of" his former wives. But just how that relates to ER nurses evades me. Any ideas?