Zubeidat Tsarnaev set teenaged daughters up in arranged marriages where one was badly beaten.

[dkf]

During this time first one of Zubeidat’s daughters, and then the other, were set up in arranged marriages, and started having kids. This was something I found slightly disturbing, as one was just my age (18-19) and didn’t seem to be happily married. Within two years I heard that she had been beaten badly and eventually filed for divorce, which was at first against her mother’s wishes. Later Zubeidat said that she had accepted the divorce because it was an unhappy marriage. Her daughter then moved back into the house with her child.

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/21/the_tsarnaevs_and_me/

[kestrel91316]

1. What? No comment? We're all curious as to your opinion and what, exactly,

the point of your various posts is.

I'm assuming you just posted this to suggest that Muslims are bad people, because heaven knows no CHRISTIANS ever have this sort of thing in their families.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

3. I don't understand the hyper touchiness here about any criticism of Islam

I see lots and lots of posts here about how terrible fundamentalist Christianity is, and very often that criticism is justified. We can't criticize Islam at all and some of its medieval holdover patriarchal aspects? I'm not female but personally I wouldn't accept an arranged marriage for one second.

[ellisonz]

12. Because since 9/11 we have seen thousands of hate crimes against Muslims in America...

[dkf]

14. If it were a Mormon I would post the same thing.

Christian too.

I don't have a religion so they are all the same to me.

What I don't get is why these characters don't know what Uncle Ruslan understands, which is that this kind of behavior is a black eye for your religion and your ethnicity therefore you should not do it.

I get Uncle Ruslan, I do not get Tamerlan.

[ellisonz]

15. Because people are set in their ways...

Why does anyone do anything that is rooted in tradition and might be seen as superstitious?

Are you suggesting that immigrants to America ought to fully assimilate to American culture?

[dkf]

19. It's okay to not assimilate...

It's not okay to want to kill everyone else because they don't live as you think they ought to live.

He said himself he doesn't understand Americans and doesn't have a single American friend. If that isn't at the root of a disregard for American lives I don't know what is.

[ellisonz]

23. I think both of the brothers were acting out a fantasy life.

I don't think these guys were any more real "radical Islamists' than I am Michael Jordan because I play a pickup game of basketball.

These two are in the words of Uncle Tsarni "losers" and not really all that foreign at all. That they chose to act out their petty rages in the cloak of "radical Islam" doesn't make them Islamists anymore than James Holmes was the Joker.

Where you appear to be going with this is that what these two did is somehow a cultural norm, it is not; Islam is a religion of peace, not of murder.

[dkf]

24. Religions aren't peaceful or "evil" in themselves.

Just like capitalism or any ideology, it's all how you use it.

Extremism in any religion is especially dangerous because when people are lost or in despair they often turn to their religion and if they feel they are directed to harm others based on righteousness, that is when they are especially dangerous.

We need to support religious leaders who talk about common humanity, like the Imam who was speaking of MLK, and denounce extremism even if it does come from a minority, maybe even especially if it comes from a minority who may have legitimate grievances. Killing random and innocent people is not the solution to injustice.

[kestrel91316]

25. I'm not muslim, but I resent the constant drum beat since 9/11 that

all muslims are bad, that islam is evil, that it isn't a religion, that all muslims should be put in concentration camps or killed, blah blah blah. And it's largely fundamentalist christians doing the blabbing.

Broad brush attacks against islam and muslims are a hallmark of the RW and unseemly on DU. Go ahead and criticize fundamentalist muslims and christians all you like. That's different.

The OPer leans very RW but doesn't like people to know that. The purpose of the OP appears to be to imply that muslims are simply bad people.

[bettyellen]

4. it's actually an interesting article... if true, it seems the whole family became more conservative

towards the end of their stay in the USA.
BTW, I think you are now FB friends with my cats, LOL.

[dkf]

7. No, this is to illustrate how Tamerlan was brought up, where his mother doesn't think being beaten

justifies divorce.

If that is his norm, how does he feel when he is arrested for domestic violence for what his father describes as a tap?

[DonCoquixote]

29. not necessarily

It could also be poitning out that the Tsaranev household was a bit crazy, which could explain bad behavior.

[LisaL]

2. Different culture.

In many cultures arranged marriages are expected/perfectly accetable/the norm.

[Shrike47]

5. Plenty of women get beat up in 'love' marriages, too.

Presumably parents try to pick a guy they think will work out OK. Sometimes they're wrong, just like everybody else.

[dkf]

9. It's one thing to make a bad decision. It's another to have one made for you.

[cali]

6. This is unverified gossip from someone who went Zubeidat for facials.

[dkf]

8. Well she heard it from Zubeidat herself.

Since this was an account of Zubeidat's own actions (arranging the marriage) and Zubeidat's own reactions, what more do you want?

[cali]

26. she says she did. what part of "that is unverified", don't you grasp?

[Cleita]

10. It seems beatings and other humiliation of women is accepted in certain

cultures who deem women as subservient to men. I don't think it has anything to do with Islam. I have had over the years friendships with various Muslim women from various countries and I'll admit I sort of went through a bit of culture shock over the customs, like a young women I trained for a job, who was subject to an arranged marriage. However, her family allowed her some time to get to know the young man before the marriage. If she had not wanted to be married to him, they would not have forced her.

Another young woman I worked with was delivered to and picked up from work by one of her brothers. She was not allowed to date except those young men her parents approved of and I assume a family member accompanied them. I lost touch with her and don't know if she ever married but when I knew her she was quite happy go lucky and cheerful. I believe her family well loved her and treated her well. Another married woman I knew, a neighbor, with several children ruled the roost in her home and her husband was quite henpecked, yet she wore the hajib and didn't drive. She had to rely on male relatives to drive her around.

Another one was the second wife of a Saudi sheik. She had her own home in Beverly Hills with servants and a limo service she could call anytime. She was quite content to be #2 wife because it allowed her free time to go shopping and lunching with friends, when he wasn't around and spending time with wife #1 and her children. I became friends with her in a beauty shop we both went to.

None of these women I knew were abused. They just had different customs, none I could follow but they seemed to be comfortable in their own skins and with their circumstances. Anyway, this is just my personal experiences with these women although I didn't spend as much time with them as I did other friends who had more freedom to go out and hang out with girl friends.

[dballance]

11. And This Has What Relevance to The Boston Bombings?

If this is supposed to be relevant due to the fact the bombers were Zubeidat's sons it's not. This isn't even newsworthy. There are still many Orthodox Jewish families, who, like this and other families from other parts of the world and ethnicities who immigrate here are are arranging marriages.

This is pure sensationalist drivel that is only worthy of the Enquirer or FOX.

[nadinbrzezinski]

13. And ths s relevant to the price of tea in china exactly how?

You do know that arranged marriages happen among god Christian families in the US too right?

They just happen less often...

This other ism is bothersome. But I think you knew that.

[dkf]

16. The most bothersome thing is that she was expected to stay in an abusive arranged marriage.

If you take that as your baseline, how do you react to a domestic violence charge?

Also note the girls did as expected, the boys did their own thing.

Lastly, this isn't about American Muslims in total because obviously arranged marriages aren't the norm, this is about his own family dynamics and how they were raised.

[nadinbrzezinski]

17. And you know why this happened?

Free hint...traditional society.

You think this does not happen in the US?

<------- points to sociology, history and poli sci journals. Please do some reading. There are whoe regions in the US where this is still the norm...they tend to be rural and far more traditional. They just happen to attend Sunday prayers instead of Friday prayers. (A few attend Saturday prayers bt the way)

[dkf]

20. I'm sorry but I won't defend arranged marriages no matter who does them.

Boy we talk about the right to choose whether to have an abortion or not and the right to contraception. The right to choose whether to get married and aquiesce to marital rights should come before that.

[LisaL]

21. Arranged marriages have existed in some cultures for centuries.

Whether you will defend them or not.

[nadinbrzezinski]

22. Now, who the hell is defending it?

But this is not that relevant, unless you want to point to anomie and alienation from the dominant culture, which you did not.

You just want to create other ism, which is disgusting.

[LisaL]

18. I am pretty sure she tried to arrange marriages for her sons as well.

But unlike daughters, it doesn't appear her sons listened to her.

[treestar]

27. I was wondering if they had other children

didn't know there were two sisters.

[Shiraz]

28. Arranged as in a matchmaker ?

Or you may pick a mate from this group only. My husband was baptized in the Ukrainian Catholic church, me in Roman Catholic. When we wanted to marry in the Roman Catholic Church we had to get permission from the Ukrainian Church because as the priest said it is a courtesy to them as they don't like giving up any members. Catholic Church frowns against divorce also. We are not members of either church now.