Oh my God please do not eat this By Mark Morford
America! For the love of God and guns, sex and sunlight, kittens and iPhones and all that you hold dear, please please please do not eat this new and completely repulsive food-like item you see before you. Can't you see it's made of chemicals and fat and dead, lost dreams?
Can you not tell at a moment's glance that consumption of this ghastly item will make you fat and sick and walk around all day feeling like you have glue in your blood and thick, gummy cobwebs all over your bones and you can't get them off?
Of course you know. Of course you understand how the malevolent fast food company that invented this slimy disk of horror pretty much openly despises you, does not care one single iota for your well being, health, happiness, or imminent brain aneurysm, but only wishes to suck dollars from your very soul. You know if you eat stuff like this you will spend your days bitter, hostile and depressed, but you won't know exactly why.
Nevertheless, I cannot help it. A warning must be sounded. A fist of protest must be raised. For lo the headline did scream, "Taco Bell jumps into breakfast market," and then up popped the frightful photo you see before you, this hideous slab of yellow and brown depravity looking very much like a barnacle scraped off the bottom of a truck, to which anyone with a functioning anima will naturally recoil in abject and understandable dread.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2012/02/01/notes020112.DTL#ixzz1l8Go4Soc
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WANT
