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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFor Robert, and the man who loved him ...
For those not on FaceBook, I thought I would share HillWilliams own words on FB upon the passing of his beloved Robert:
My beloved, my anchor, the love of my life, the wind in my sails, my advocate, my chief adviser, my trusted ally, the one who always-always had my back passed from this earth around one o'clock. I never knew a person could hurt so bad and still keep breathing.
Anyone who believes that two men are incapable of the depth of feeling for each other that only heterosexual couples can possibly know should read those words and, in the doing, recognize that true love IS truly love, and knows no bounds.
HillWilliam and I became friends here on DU, a friendship which continued through our contact on FaceBook. He often shared his thoughts on his Beloved Robert with me thoughts that spoke of mutual respect, equal partnership, unwavering support of one for the other; laughter shared, challenges faced together, and the joy to be embraced when two people find their true soul-mate and revel in the fact that they have done so.
I cannot stop weeping since hearing the sad news. HillWilliams devotion to his Beloved Robert, for me, has always epitomized what a loving couple should be always in each others corner, ready to take on the world together when necessary; always ready to take on the nay-sayers who insisted their union was somehow unrecognizable as true devotion, or somehow deserving of being dismissed or diminished because their marriage was not acceptable according to archaic and bigoted beliefs.
My heart goes out to HillWilliam tonight. The loss of ones beloved life partner is as devastating as it gets.
I have no more words. I wish I did. I wish I knew the words that would ease the pain, but I dont. I wish I knew the words that would somehow make things all right, but I dont. If I knew them, I would say them a thousand times over. And so would many here.
We are with you, HillWilliam tonight and every night. Your Beloved Robert did not pass unnoticed, nor has your love for him gone unrecognized.
Peace be with you both, until you meet again.
(Edited to add: I have sent HillWilliam a link to this thread. You have all expressed such incredibly loving thoughts; he should see them all and know that he is not alone in his grief, and that his DU friends are with him in spirit at this unbelievably sad time. Thanks to all who have taken the time to respond.)

hedgehog
(36,286 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(152,926 posts)You have said all of it so eloquently! Much more so than I ever could...
I hope HillWilliam will see this. I know it will help him immeasurably.
MADem
(135,425 posts)niyad
(122,093 posts)and condolences. I know there are no words to ease the pain, but perhaps knowing how much people out here care might help just the tiniest bit.
malaise
(280,754 posts)
Love is love!
one_voice
(20,043 posts)babylonsister
(171,812 posts)And HillWilliam, if you read this, my deepest condolences. NanceGreggs eloquently put into words how we all feel about your loss.
AnotherMother4Peace
(4,701 posts)Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)Thanks for bringing this up, Nance. Nice to see you.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)Maybe there is some comfort in knowing that people do understand his pain, small comfort I know.
RIP Robert
Cha
(307,144 posts)tribute to Robert and HillWilliam, Nance.
Irishonly
(3,344 posts)I only know HillWilliam through his posts on DU and know how much he and Robert loved each other. I have no words either. I can only offer my love and support.
Protalker
(418 posts)Saturday I found my best friend in life dead. Although were gay we were not lovers. He was closer than a brother. You put into words my feelings. Thank you so much.
NanceGreggs
(27,835 posts)My best friend passed, very unexpectedly, three years ago.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of her - of the laughs we shared, the confidences we entrusted each to the other, the joy we always found in each others' company.
From the time we met, many years ago, we always watched the Oscars together. It was one of our many 'traditions'. We were both movie nuts, and often exchanged film dialogue as a form of communication.
A favourite for both of us was "Moonstruck". I remembered last Sunday night a line from the film, Cher (as Loretta Castorini) explaining the death of her husband: "Who knew that man was a gift I couldn't keep."
Those we love are often a gift we cannot keep. We can only remember that they were indeed a gift - and be grateful they were ours for the time we had them in our lives, as fleeting as that time may have been.
Protalker
(418 posts)I am relatively new to DU. One of the 7 Habits of Success ful People: it is better to understand than be understood. I appreciate your time.
HillWilliam
(3,310 posts)I'm a movie nut, too. I troll the $3-$5 bins at the dollar stores for hidden gems, old favorites, filling holes in my collection. I rip them down to my portable drive and listen to them at work. I don't even have to see them. I know every scene by heart. "Moonstruck" is one of my very favorites. When asked about Robert, I very, very often quoted the line, "Yeah, Ma, I love him awful."
pacalo
(24,739 posts)
I wish HillWlliam comfort & peace.
pkdu
(3,977 posts)of this scene by John Hannah..
Best wishes Robert.
NanceGreggs
(27,835 posts)when I heard the news of Robert's passing. It is very appropriate, and a lovely addition to this thread.
Thank you for posting it.
FLyellowdog
(4,276 posts)Ken Burch
(50,254 posts)A love that deep is rare.
If he's reading this, let me add:
HillWilliam, I do not know you, and never knew the man you loved so deeply, but the bond between the two of you is clear in the pain-seared words you wrote above. Be well, and let yourself feel what you will feel.
The Wizard
(13,052 posts)Condolences to the bereaved. Life gets shorter every day.
cliffordu
(30,994 posts)Thanks for sharing their story with us.
Raine1967
(11,626 posts)solara
(3,876 posts)Nance, you are right, there are no words, but if there were I would join you in saying them
My heart aches for you, HillWilliam..Bless you and your beloved Robert
DollarBillHines
(1,922 posts)Thanks, Nance...
There is still a bottle of Four Roses and a pack of Lucky Strikes...
Riding 'cross the Caprock...
DBH
nolabear
(43,447 posts)Thank you, Nance.
HillWilliam
(3,310 posts)You wrote the blessing for our wedding. Funny, I was just re-reading it not a few days ago and had a warm, glowy smile on. We were still so much in love.
I managed to sleep for a couple of hours this evening before startling awake, realizing again I'm alone and I'm not supposed to be. Everything's wrong, it's not supposed to be like this. There's an energy missing and there's a hole in the atmosphere.
There's a hole in me.
Rob was a tall, tall man on earth. There was none the like of him anywhere else to be had. So many years I wandered the earth like Diogenes with a lamp, looking for one honest man. I alone was the lucky man who found, fell in love with, and was privileged to live beside one such for 17 wonderful years. He was a strong, strong Democrat, a champion of the weaker ones. Though he was disabled and his health had been failing the last couple of years, he never stopped fighting for people in worse shape than he was. He was the kind of man who would stop to assist elders on the road, even though he had to stand with a cane.
The angels got envious, I suppose, for they have him now and here I sit, chain smoking between fits of sobs and housecleaning.
As I said, I managed to sleep for a couple of hours, passing out from the exhaustion of sobbing through the evening in between pulling myself together to answer a slew of phone calls, negotiating arrangements with his divorced parents who don't get along (thanks Amendment One, NC, sigh). I awoke a few minutes ago with sobs again in disbelief that G'd would give me such a beautiful gift only to take it back so soon.
For a tiny space in my life my every emotional need was answered -- somebody *loved* me, just for me, just for existing. Nothing to prove, just to be me, somebody it was safe to love with all my heart, mind, strength and soul.
This morning, I looked into the future and saw future. Now I'm just terrified. Here I sit in a bigole house we bought together to fix up with seven rescued furkids. How can I finish this dream alone? My advisor, my rock, the better brain, the clever one is gone.
And what about him? Is his spirit safe? Is he comfortable? Is his pain eased? Will he wait for me until my time? He knows I have to stay until our last rescued furkid crosses the bridge and that's going to be a long while. (We just adopted a youngun less than a month ago, sigh...)
I worry most about his aide dog. She's curled up on his side of the bed and won't budge, hasn't eaten, hasn't moved since I got home. She knows. I don't know how she knows, but she knows. Those two were so devoted to each other. I'm afraid she's thinking about following him. She's twelve, retired, and tired. I poured much soul into her as a pup and she poured much into him keeping him interested and alive. Her focus (and mine) has left the building.
Somehow, strength always comes. Right now it looks a longdamnway out from here.
Again, thank you all for having our backs all along. The rush of love is keeping me going now.
CaliforniaPeggy
(152,926 posts)Know that we all are here for you in whatever way we can be...
My deepest, deepest condolences to you as you walk through this time of loss...
bigtree
(90,984 posts)your words . . .
panader0
(25,816 posts)I lost my friend of 44 years in October. It really is like a hole in your life.
Each morning as I shower, I rinse my face three time with handfuls of water. First one is Body, to get the soap off. second is Mind, to clear my thoughts, and third one Spirit, is for Greg, my oldest friend.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)
Your beautiful love with Robert shines through... what a tremendous loss.

FLyellowdog
(4,276 posts)But a good one for knowing they are at peace.
grantcart
(53,061 posts)I wish I was in your neighborhood so I could stop by and help with the housecleaning and walk the dogs for you.
Peace.
Sissyk
(12,665 posts)HillWilliam! I'm so so sorry for your loss.
I hope you can find some sort of peace and comfort from sharing this with us.
susanr516
(1,462 posts)Warpy
(113,131 posts)but he's in my thoughts. It's devastating to lose a partner, gay or straight, through death or divorce.
My hope is that he gets through this and comes back to find out how many people are with him in his grief.
loudsue
(14,087 posts)Words fail.
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)
samplegirl
(12,506 posts)I am so sorry for your loss...those words always seem to ring hollow until you've experienced it yourself. Wish there was more that I could do to ease your pain. Your Robert has peace now and you will too someday again. Hold on tight to the friends you have like Nance they will be good listeners. Anyone who has lost someone so dear has to say nothing to know your pain right now. I feel helpless for you.....but I listen well. What they do have to do........is be there for you and they will. True friends will take some of your pain and turn it into laughter again. Until you can laugh again...I wish you love, support and good friends who will stand by your tears and fears and pull you up each and every day for however long it takes.
I do not know you or your beloved Robert.....but I know the pain of losing someone you love so much.
I am here my friend.
prairierose
(2,147 posts)of a loved one hurts. Gender does not matter; love matters.
Hillwilliam It takes a very long time for the loss to begin to subside. But, please know that there are people who will listen and care about you and give you
when you need them. Take care.
polly7
(20,582 posts)
redqueen
(115,177 posts)I can't imagine the pain you must feel. I wish you peace, and I hope you have friends and loved ones close to you to help you get through this. Please take care of yourself.
Rowdyboy
(22,057 posts)Now my dear friend has to experience the unthinkable and there's nothing I can do to help. And the realization hits me again that someday either my partner or I will experience that anguish. I cannot begin to fathom his grief.
.
LoisB
(9,408 posts)HappyMe
(20,277 posts)My sympathies to HillWilliam.
BeeBee
(1,077 posts)maffl
(4 posts)HillWilliam,
My deepest sympathy to you for your loss. As Nance said, the words to ease the pain are hard to find. That you found Your Beloved Robert is a miracle. A quote that brought me some comfort; "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet, I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." May Your Beloved Robert rest in peace. May the hole in you heal with the knowledge that the two of you had found love in each other.
DollarBillHines
(1,922 posts)A toast to Lifelong Love.
And Friendship.
By the way, I still have that bottle of Four Roses and a pack of Camels in the console of my convertible.
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Smilo
(1,950 posts)May the memories held deep within your heart, help to soothe you.
My sincere condolences.
Sending you hugs
AlecBGreen
(3,874 posts)
glinda
(14,807 posts)No words will be able to say how sad this is.
mecherosegarden
(745 posts)
Tom Ripley
(4,945 posts)LiberalAndProud
(12,799 posts)(((((HillWilliam)))))
TxDemChem
(1,918 posts)Your relationship is one we should all strive for, and for those fortunate enough to obtain it, we should remember how you and Robert inspired us all. Thank you for allowing us in DU into your wonderful world.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)I am.
Peace.
:,(
Cindy
BlancheSplanchnik
GoCubsGo
(33,444 posts)
sibelian
(7,804 posts)You make the world a better place.