People leaving voicemail recordings that say, "I'll get back to you at MY earliest CONVENIENCE"

[Sarah Ibarruri]

I can't take it any more. I think people with voicemail recordings saying, "I'll get back to you at MY earliest CONVENIENCE" have no idea that what they're actually saying is, "Leave me a message, but be warned that I'm only going to respond to you whenever I darn feel it's convenient for me, so too bad!"

Has anyone else run into these voicemail recordings before? Is it a sign of the times, bad etiquette, or just a bout of illiteracy?

[Quantess]

1. Or honesty.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

2. Plain rudeness. :) nt

[Quantess]

4. Maybe. It depends what your relationship is to them, of course.

I wouldn't want a friend to inconvenience themselves to call me back, in most cases.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

13. But listen to the message. It means, "when it's convenient for me"

Kinda like saying, "Screw you, your needs, your convenience, your everything. Only I count here, buddy."

[TheWraith]

68. So they should call back when it's grossly inconvenient for them?

The recipient of your phone call should realize your time is so much more important than theirs, that they should drop what they're doing in favor of appeasing you?

You're reading a lot into a polite phase that simply means "when I get the chance".

[onenote]

75. it wouldn't make much sense for the message to say that they'll call back at the other party's

convenience.

I interpret that message as saying that when the person is able, considering everything else that may be going on in their lives that may take priority, they'll call back. Nothing more or less. I know folks who leave messages that say inform the person that they're message may not get returned for a while if at all because the person rarely checks that particular phone for messages. I view the "at my earliest convenience" as the opposite of that sort of message.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

82. Of course not. The original term was used for LEAVING a message, not in a vm recording for callers

In business:

If you leave a message for someone else, you may say, "... Hi Richard, this is Johnny Appleseed. I wanted to discuss something with you, so please call me at your earliest convenience. Thank you." Polite.

NOT record this little bitchy voicemail recording for whoever calls you to listen to: "This is Richard Rude-as-hell. I'm away from the phone right now. Leave me a message and I'll return it a MY earliest convenience."

[onenote]

88. Again, we just hear the messages differently I guess.

If the message was "I'll return the call when its convenient", I might find that a off-putting. But I hear a message that says that they'll return the call at their "earliest" convenience as an indication that my call is going to be given some priority. And I would find a message that simply says leave a message and I'll return the call to be a bit offputting since to my ears that sounds like "whenever" or "but don't expect it any time soon."

But to each their own, I guess.

[dmr]

50. That's not the point.

The point is etiquette. Decorum. The same reason you say please, thank you & you're welcome. The reason why you would hold the door open for someone else, and why it's nice when someone does likewise for you.

The message described in the OP is a statement telling the caller that their call is unimportant. That is quite a turn-off.

Think about it this way: You are respectful to your friends for not wanting to inconvenience them. It's nice to receive that respect in return, instead of arrogance.

[Quantess]

59. I suppose. Myself, I try to be considerate by having an extremely short answering message

so as not to bore them or take up too much of their time while they're waiting for the beep.

I get impatient at overly long blah-de-blah, waiting for the beep, no matter if they say please and thank you a bunch of times. You can't please everyone no matter how hard you try!

[Cali_Democrat]

3. So what should they say instead?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

6. "Please leave me a voicemail and I will return your call"

End of story.

What's this business about MY earliest convenience? I keep thinking that people who say that would get stopped by an officer, respond equally as rudely to the officer, and get carted off to jail.

[TheWraith]

70. The police aren't allowed to arrest you for being rude.

And admitting that you'll return a call when it's convenient for you isn't rude, anyway.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

76. Quite rude. nt

Here's a segment of an article by a job recruiter precisely on that.


Leaving a Voicemail GREETING utilizing “at MY earliest convenience”
Rule: NOT Acceptable…BAD
Let’s say John decides to change his voicemail GREETING. And the voicemail message he just heard me leave was stuck in his head. He figures he can just modify the phrase “at YOUR earliest convenience,” and change it ever so slightly to: “at MY earliest convenience.”
It is very acceptable for me to leave a voicemail MESSAGE for John asking him: “Hey John, please return my call at YOUR earliest convenience.”
However, it’s NOT ok for John to modify that phrase (most often in a voicemail GREETING) to “at MY earliest convenience.”
Here’s where the problems begin…
John proceeds to record this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you at MY earliest convenience.”
WRONG!!! (Loud game-show buzzers should be going off in the background).
WRONG, WRONG, double WRONG!
John, buddy, you can’t do that!
By recording a greeting on voicemail that uses “at MY earliest convenience” John has unknowingly thumbed his nose at all of his callers that heard his recorded greeting.
Look at it closely. If you use the phrase “at MY earliest convenience,” on your voicemail GREETING, you are telling your callers that you will call them back “at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.” That means you’ve said to them in effect…
“I’ll call you back when it’s CONVENIENT for ME.”
“When I’m good and ready.”
“Whenever I feel like it.”
John may as well have recorded this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you whenever I feel like it…whenever it works for me…whenever it’s convenient for me. You know…at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.”

John, say it isn’t so! We thought you were such a good guy!
John would do better to keep it simple with regard to recorded voicemail greetings. He would do just fine with this very appropriate voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call, but your call is very important to me. Please leave a message and I will get back with you as soon as possible.”

http://www.recruitingblogs.com/profiles/blogs/at-your-earliest-convenience

[LiberalAndProud]

95. The appropriate greeting is fine, except

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't tell me that "your call is very important to me." I am allergic to the phrase. It makes me sneeze-*bullshit*-cough every time I hear it. It's a dreadfully hackneyed, irritating and meaningless phrase.

[onenote]

80. I would rather be told my call will be returned at the other party's EARLIEST convenience

than simply be told simply that they'll return my call..a message that indicates that they attach no particular importance to returning calls at all. To me the message you're endorsing sounds no different than a message that says "Leave a message and I'll return your call when I get around to it." That would be rude.

[oldhippie]

103. Are you really going to return their call?

What if it's an annoying sales call? You still going to call them back? If not, you're being dishonest, which to me is worse than impolite.

[Kahuna]

113. My greeting for the past 30 years...

Hi, this is blank. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now. But if you'll leave your name and number when you hear the beep,I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.

I agree that saying, at my convenience sounds rude.

[BlueJazz]

5. I think you're overreacting. They might be doing something that they ...

....can't stop, like a shower, on the roof, washing dishes or a ton of other things.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

8. ahahahaha! EXACTLY! They might be taking a shower at work :) nt

[BlueJazz]

18. Maybe they work in a coal mine and don't want to get their iphone dirty.

...or maybe they're a deep sea diver and are fighting off 769 sharks.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

22. ROFLMAO! A deep sea diver working 80 hrs a week, and, poor dear, can't take 30 seconds to call nt

[BlueJazz]

53. Maybe one of the sharks ate his hands.

[Buns_of_Fire]

112. ...Or his phone! nt

[bigwillq]

31. Overreacting, ya think?!?!?

[Sheepshank]

58. Except when I hear this type of message.....

it's invariably related to a business call made to a business, officer, admin assitant etc.

Not a call to a home where the resident may actually not give a shit about who many be calling them.

[jberryhill]

7. Because you have a limited definition of the word

The illiteracy is at your end:

1
: fitness or suitability for performing an action or fulfilling a requirement
2
a : something (as an appliance, device, or service) conducive to comfort or ease

[hobbit709]

9. Mine says

"There's no one here but the dogs, so you'll have to leave a message"

[Sarah Ibarruri]

10. That's kinda cute :) nt

[hobbit709]

28. Of course a lot of my friends leave "woof, woof" messages.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

29. LOL! Dog lovers, no doubt. nt

[phantom power]

11. Sounds fine to me. My life isn't run by people who leave me voicemail.

[frylock]

12. how about "i'm too fucking busy and i'll get back to you when i get back to you?"

[taterguy]

14. Works for me

[Sarah Ibarruri]

27. Actually, it's more along the lines of, "I'll call you when I damned well feel like it" nt

[oldhippie]

107. more like "IF I damn well feel like it!"

[Sarah Ibarruri]

15. That's EXACTLY what "at my earliest convenience" means: "I'm too fucking busy, so screw off"

It's amazing people are leaving messages like that on their voicemail recordings.

[cthulu2016]

16. They're just not that into you

[Sarah Ibarruri]

25. You clearly have that recording on your voicemail. :) LOL! nt

[Liberal Veteran]

17. I'm sorry. I'm unavailable to read your message. I'll read and respond at my earliest convenience.

Thank you,
Liberal Veteran.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

19. Read #5. He expressed exactly what "at my earliest convenience" means nt

[L0oniX]

20. "I'll return your call if when I damn well feel like it"

[Sarah Ibarruri]

23. That's exactly what "at my earliest convenience" means! nt

[tammywammy]

21. My voicemail at work says something similar

Last edited Fri Jan 27, 2012, 07:23 PM - Edit history (1)

"...I'll return your call as soon as possible." Because it's true. It's at my earliest convenience. Maybe I know this conversation is going to take 20 min and I have to be at a meeting in 5 min. Even if it says "as soon as possible" that's really not true - because again, there maybe things that are a higher priority than returning this call. Everyone has to prioritize their day, at least the person's voicemail is being honest.

edited to add: I was thinking more about what my voicemail says and no, it doesn't use this phrase it says "as soon as I can" which would mean the same thing - as soon as I'm available to return your call.

[MADem]

24. It's obtuse. It might be unintentional owing to stupidity, or deliberate, owing to hubris.

There are no small number of people in this world, unfortunately, who have been raised to believe that the sun rises and sets around them, and everything from what they had for breakfast to the size of their bowel moments are life snippets that people eagerly await from them. They have no boundaries. They feel motivated to share even the most noxious and personal details, because they've been taught to believe that they are the Most Important Person In The Whole Wide World and, as children, they got positive feedback for this sort of thing.

Then, there are people who are just poorly educated. They probably heard someone else politely saying "Please get back to me at YOUR earliest convenience" and figured that flipping the phrase was equally polite!

I've never heard such a voicemail, but I'm no longer out there in the business/commerce/gov't world. I'd probably just laugh at the absurdity of it all (beats crying over the death of basic manners, I suppose!).

[Sarah Ibarruri]

26. You're right. It's a sign of a poor education, illiteracy, horrific manners, egocentrism

Yup, either one laughs or one cries at the sheer ignorance of it.

[bigwillq]

30. That's kind of how it works.

If you call me, I will try to get back to you at MY earliest convenience. Don't like it, don't call me anymore.

It's not rude or bad etiquette, imo. It's called reality.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

32. Then may as well say what the message means, "I'll call you when I f*****g feel like it" nt

[bigwillq]

33. Now, that would be rude.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

38. Why? 'Cause one version actually says the words, 'when I fucking feel like it" and the other merely

implies it without saying it?

[MADem]

34. It's not funny...but it is, if you know what I mean! nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

37. I do know what you mean. It's so rude, you've got to laugh. nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

90. Well, yes.

If you need me for something, I'll try to work it into my schedule. You're welcome to consider me rude, but if you show it, the point at which "I f*****g feel like it" will probably become somewhat delayed.

I hate phones. You go to the auto parts store, stand in line and just when it's your turn, the phone rings.

Who's *really* first in line? The f'ing telephone.

Unlike the phone which usually rolls to voicemail even if I'm standing right here scratching my butt, I love email. I try to respond as quickly as I can to email to train people to not interrupt me with the phone.

[tammywammy]

97. When I worked at Starbucks many years ago

For a long time I worked the morning rush period. For some reason people would call the store at the busiest time of the day. Our manager finally said "if we have a line to do door - you do not have to answer the phone." Which we were all thankful for, as every employee felt it was rude to leave a customer standing at the register to go answer a phone. If someone complained about trying to call in the morning we were to politely explain that they called during our busiest time of the day and the customer in front of us is always the most important.

[lumberjack_jeff]

121. Right on. n/t

[Liberal Veteran]

35. LOL. I think the biggest revelation in my life was when someone said to me.

When I asked him why he didn't answer the phone that was ringing, he said, "The phone is there for my convenience. It is not an open invitation to barge into my home and interrupt what I may be doing."

[bigwillq]

40. Smart man!

[Sarah Ibarruri]

41. Oh my. Now that's the prototypical, "at my earliest convenience" user!

Rudeness wins again!

[tammywammy]

48. How is that rude?

They're in their own home and busy doing something else and didn't want to talk on the phone. When I was a kid we never answered the phone during dinner. Was that rude of my family to make people leave messages? Is it rude if I don't take a call when I'm otherwise occupied?

[kiva]

108. I agree with your OP,

it's at best tone-deaf and at worst rude to include that phrase in a recorded greeting.

But I'll disagree with labeling that post as rude. It isn't rude not to answer a call - if you're at work it may be a bad business choice, but not rude. Unless that person is peeking in your window they do not know that you are deliberately not answering their call, and there's the rudeness marker, IMO...the rudeness happens when you make it clear to people that you are a special snowflake whose time is sooooo important that they should be grateful that you are willing to return the call when you have nothing better to do.

So just close the blinds and ignore away!

[woo me with science]

43. Perfectly said. This is the correct answer. nt

Last edited Fri Jan 27, 2012, 07:21 PM - Edit history (1)

[lolly]

105. Bravo!

I have no idea why people feel obligated to drop everything--dinner, bathing a child, reading a good book, helping out a client, kissing a spouse--because somebody somewhere decided he/she wants to tell you something.

It may have made sense before answering machines, but now that we can finish what we're doing uninterrupted and then get back when we have time, I can't imagine why we would continue to let ourselves be ruled by a ringing phone.

[alphafemale]

36. As if people should drop EVERYTHING to call you back.

I think you need to get over your damn self.

Yes.

Peoples' own needs and wants are more important than your MEMEME! intrusion into their lives.

Be grateful if convenient for them is EVER.

This is the dumbest thing I've read all day and I've already seen plenty of dumb.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

39. No, you're right. It's good to say it, even tho it sounds like, "when I fucking feel like it"

You're right. Rudeness wins again! You win.

[alphafemale]

42. Yes. Doing things that are important to me.

And the needs of those around me like fixing food for my family are more important than returning a phone call.

And maybe you should make it "IF I feel like it"

[Sarah Ibarruri]

44. As I said, you win. Death to etiquette and good manners! Yipee! Rudeness wins! nt

[chowder66]

45. Can be looked at two ways

If this is a message at a business it could be taken as customer-unfriendly but thinking about it, I would rather have some one call me when it IS convenient so they are not inconvenienced and distracted. It could probably be said better but I don't think it is quite as bad as all that.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

47. I see it as just another indication that illiteracy has taken over the country and reigns supreme nt

[JoePhilly]

65. You are starting to sound like my brother-in-law.

My wife and I work in technology and so for some reason, he thinks we are his technical support staff.

Recently, he had a computer issue and he called our home and left a message. No one was there. He called my cell. I was in a meeting. He called my wife's cell, she was on a 5-6 hour airplane flight to the West Coast.

I ended up working late, got home, fed the kids, helped them do homework, and then went straight to bed. My wife landed in CA, had meetings until 11pm CA time (2am East coast time) ... so she went to bed.

The next morning, at 9am EST he calls my wife and starts complaining because she didn't respond promptly to his urgent computer issue, as if she worked for him. Of course he was unaware that it was 6am on the West Coast, and he work her an hour earlier than she intended.

And so ... here is another way to see this ... the people you are calling ... they don't work for you.

And you can not expect them to drop everything just for you, or anyone else who has decided that THEY are the most important thing in your life at the current moment.

[alphafemale]

77. Exactly. At my convenience is the best that should be hoped for.

OP is suggesting their wishes should supersede that of the person they called.

[onenote]

86. The fact that it sounds liek "when I fucking feel like it" to you doesn't mean it sounds that way

to everyone. Or even most people.

Its never bothered me in the slightest. And as I posted earlier, to my ears (but not yours), a message that says simply "leave a a message and I'll return the call" sounds like "leave a message and I"ll return the call when I get around to it"

[redqueen]

46. They should be damned glad I'm listening to their message at all, that's how I see it.

I'll let Stephen Fry speak for me. I do not like telephones. I know they're necessary and convenient but I don't have to like them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=7xXSw07zrio#t=213s

[JoePhilly]

49. ~95% of the calls on my voice mail are solicitations ... so I only check it maybe once a week.

The message is simple ... "We can't take your call right now, if you would like, you can leave a message after the beep." No suggestion that we will EVER return your call.

If you call and we are home, we screen the call. If we know who you are and we are able, we answer it. If you block your #, or its says "private number", or "toll free number" ... we won't answer it at all.

About once a week we purge it. Most is junk. Occasionally, its the Dr office calling to remind you of an appointment, maybe the pharmacy has a prescription ready, or the kid's school principle is doing a blast call of the week's activities (although he tends to go on and on and the recording times out on him, which is kind of funny -- we take bets on whether he can get done before timing out).

In any case, if we know you, then you already know how to reach each of us the fastest. Texting my kids is the fastest way to reach them. Cell-phone is best way to reach my wife. Email or IM is usually fastest path to me, I'm usually bolted to that. And our friends and family know all of that.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

51. There are oodles of solicitation calls, but when one calls a business place, business to business

it's just plain illiteracy to find that the person on the other end doesn't understand that, "at my earliest convenience" is a clear sign of illiteracy.

[JoePhilly]

73. Your OP does not narrow the focus of the discussion to you calling a business.

A business using the wording you use is unacceptable. The general etiquette for this is that the message should provide as specific time period as possible.

And so ... "we will get back to you within the next 30 minutes" ... or "the next 1 hour", or "before the end of the day". It should be something specific.

Small businesses struggle with this because sometimes they are not sure of their work load and so the time frame might be hard to declare with confidence. I've encountered situations in which a family run business (say plumbing) is basically one guy who owns it, many 2 or 3 other guys he employees, and his wife who answers the phone. If they have kids, she won't always be home, and so the message is along the lines of "as soon as possible".

[Sarah Ibarruri]

74. No need to give a segment of time. Simply ask the individual to leave a message, and promise you

will return the call. In business, it's often impossible to say, so why use a version of, "When I feel like it?"

[JoePhilly]

92. Actually, there is a business reason to give a time frame.

When possible, it gives the caller some idea of how long the response might be.

In more advanced business telephony systems, you can have multiple messages. One for when you go to lunch, or if you are on vacation. Or traveling. Some sales people change their messages daily specifically because they are often traveling and can't be reached.

[southernyankeebelle]

52. I never had that happen before. Here is how you work these annoying charity calls you get

over and over and over. When they call and ask for Mrs so and so tell them she isn't home and she is out of the country for a few months. They don't call back. Or tell them she doesn't live here anymore I am renting her home. Works all the time.

[Liberal Veteran]

56. I've had one business calling for years to inform me my car was ready to be picked up.

Like once or twice a year.

Of course, I've don't do business with that particular dealership.

I figure eventually they'll realize they keep calling the wrong number.

[southernyankeebelle]

71. Gee really? I think that is so funny.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

57. Oh, at home it's a different story. I have a polite message, and don't call soliciations back

Unless of course, it's from family, friends, I'm waiting for the call, or for a Democratic Party cause.

For business purposes (which is where it's generally found!), it's downright illiterate (or rude - though I think it's probably more illiterate than rude), to have a vm recording that basically says "I'll call you when I damned well feel like it."

[southernyankeebelle]

69. Oh, I wondered because I never had that happen at home. Thanks that is funny. I have been retired

for awhile I just didn't think about that.

[Initech]

54. What's even more annoying is the increased use of autodialers.

I fucking hate autodialers with a serious passion. And telemarketers and banks are using them at exponentially bad rates. And per Lewis Black that means "shittier and shittier and shittier".

[Liberal Veteran]

61. Or when you pick up the phone and they say, "Please hold while I connect you...."

You fucking called me and you expect me to sit on hold and wait for your next available representative?

[Initech]

79. OMG yes. I hate that almost as much as I hate autodialers.

[neverforget]

120. I hang up immediately when i get that crap

[Sarah Ibarruri]

63. True. Do you get those at work? We don't get any at work. At home? Yup. nt

[Initech]

66. Both. And they don't even try to hide it anymore.

What is even more annoying than that is when you answer and a telemarketer transfers you to a manager.

[lumberjack_jeff]

93. Autodialers normally get hung up on.

*ring*
"hello?"
1 or 2 second pause
*click*

Fuck 'em. If it was important there would have been someone on the other end pushing buttons.

[Sheepshank]

55. I hear this often on business calls (and recordings) and cringe.

I honestly believe the person leaving the greeting is a little clueless and simply trying to sound professionally clued in. However, it is a "fail".

[Sarah Ibarruri]

60. You're probably right. The person using that phrase probably thinks it's 'classy' and has no clue

what it means.

It reminds me somewhat of that Britcom, "Keeping Up Appearances" in which Hyacinth Bucket, who comes from a very humble background, attempts to present herself as a blue-blood, always failing miserably.

[Hatchling]

62. I understand that you think it is rude.

But I don't think I understand why you think it is illiterate. Could you explain that, please?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

72. I suspect that people using that, are unaware of how rudely they present themselves by using a

phrase that basically means, "I'll call you back when I fucking feel like it." There is a business etiquette, and using terminology that reflects badly on one, is definitely frowned upon.

Why is it illiteracy? Because the term, "please call me at YOUR earliest convenience" is the correct term (implying that you will go out of your way for the individual, and do not wish to inconvenience him/her). I suspect people who are less than aware, educated, etc., might simply be not applying it correctly, not know how to apply it correctly, and think that it's just as fine to say, "At MY earliest convenience" (implying that "I will call when I'm f****g ready to&quot .

Here's a segment of an article by a job recruiter precisely on that.


Leaving a Voicemail GREETING utilizing “at MY earliest convenience”
Rule: NOT Acceptable…BAD
Let’s say John decides to change his voicemail GREETING. And the voicemail message he just heard me leave was stuck in his head. He figures he can just modify the phrase “at YOUR earliest convenience,” and change it ever so slightly to: “at MY earliest convenience.”
It is very acceptable for me to leave a voicemail MESSAGE for John asking him: “Hey John, please return my call at YOUR earliest convenience.”
However, it’s NOT ok for John to modify that phrase (most often in a voicemail GREETING) to “at MY earliest convenience.”
Here’s where the problems begin…
John proceeds to record this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you at MY earliest convenience.”
WRONG!!! (Loud game-show buzzers should be going off in the background).
WRONG, WRONG, double WRONG!
John, buddy, you can’t do that!
By recording a greeting on voicemail that uses “at MY earliest convenience” John has unknowingly thumbed his nose at all of his callers that heard his recorded greeting.
Look at it closely. If you use the phrase “at MY earliest convenience,” on your voicemail GREETING, you are telling your callers that you will call them back “at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.” That means you’ve said to them in effect…
“I’ll call you back when it’s CONVENIENT for ME.”
“When I’m good and ready.”
“Whenever I feel like it.”
John may as well have recorded this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you whenever I feel like it…whenever it works for me…whenever it’s convenient for me. You know…at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.”

John, say it isn’t so! We thought you were such a good guy!
John would do better to keep it simple with regard to recorded voicemail greetings. He would do just fine with this very appropriate voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call, but your call is very important to me. Please leave a message and I will get back with you as soon as possible.”

http://www.recruitingblogs.com/profiles/blogs/at-your-earliest-convenience

[onenote]

94. How do you feel about "I will call you back at my earliest opportunity."

While I understand that "earliest opportunity" and "earliest convenience" are not exactly the same, I suspect that most people who use the latter intend it to be no different than the former and that most people don't really get that bent out of shape about the use of one over the other.

[Snake Alchemist]

99. Are you trying to say you're some sort of opportunist?

[Quantess]

101. opportunity means the same as crisis in Chinese.

No way. "Opportunity" is a sure fire word to piss everyone off.

[moriah]

64. Maybe you should have capitalized "earliest" too.

In other words, "As soon as I have time to return your call".

My voicemail is my cell, so the only thing that actually has my voice recorded is where I spoke my name.

But a Google of the phrase shows you are far from the only person to be highly annoyed by this turn of phrase.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

83. Yep

Here's a segment of an article by a job recruiter precisely on that.


Leaving a Voicemail GREETING utilizing “at MY earliest convenience”
Rule: NOT Acceptable…BAD
Let’s say John decides to change his voicemail GREETING. And the voicemail message he just heard me leave was stuck in his head. He figures he can just modify the phrase “at YOUR earliest convenience,” and change it ever so slightly to: “at MY earliest convenience.”
It is very acceptable for me to leave a voicemail MESSAGE for John asking him: “Hey John, please return my call at YOUR earliest convenience.”
However, it’s NOT ok for John to modify that phrase (most often in a voicemail GREETING) to “at MY earliest convenience.”
Here’s where the problems begin…
John proceeds to record this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you at MY earliest convenience.”
WRONG!!! (Loud game-show buzzers should be going off in the background).
WRONG, WRONG, double WRONG!
John, buddy, you can’t do that!
By recording a greeting on voicemail that uses “at MY earliest convenience” John has unknowingly thumbed his nose at all of his callers that heard his recorded greeting.
Look at it closely. If you use the phrase “at MY earliest convenience,” on your voicemail GREETING, you are telling your callers that you will call them back “at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.” That means you’ve said to them in effect…
“I’ll call you back when it’s CONVENIENT for ME.”
“When I’m good and ready.”
“Whenever I feel like it.”
John may as well have recorded this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you whenever I feel like it…whenever it works for me…whenever it’s convenient for me. You know…at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.”

John, say it isn’t so! We thought you were such a good guy!
John would do better to keep it simple with regard to recorded voicemail greetings. He would do just fine with this very appropriate voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call, but your call is very important to me. Please leave a message and I will get back with you as soon as possible.” http://www.recruitingblogs.com/profiles/blogs/at-your-earliest-convenience

[Dreamer Tatum]

67. So, drop everything and call you back? nt

[redqueen]

78. It's business... so... I guess you're supposed to lie?

Or... ignore the person standing at your desk and call them back right away?

Yeah, that's professional!

[barbtries]

81. i no longer have voicemail on my land line.

i love never having to fetch messages. years ago however i recorded a message like so: i'm not answering the phone right now. however, i am listening, so go ahead and leave a message and if i feel like it, i'll pick up, otherwise i'll get back to you when i'm in the mood.

it was more or less a joke and at the time i think most of my friends were also screening their calls.

at any rate, use of the word convenience has been well acquitted in this thread so i won't bother. seems like a very small thing to expend frustration over.

[niyad]

84. how in the world do you conceive of "I will return your call at my convenience" is rude?

seriously--when else do you expect your call to be returned? at YOUR convenience? it isn't YOUR phone, YOUR time, YOUR appointments, it is THEIR time, and they are the best judges of what is to be done with THEIR time.

some people clearly have way too much time on their hands.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

85. Read how these phrases ended up confused by the less aware:

Here's a segment of an article by a job recruiter precisely on that.


Leaving a Voicemail GREETING utilizing “at MY earliest convenience”
Rule: NOT Acceptable…BAD
Let’s say John decides to change his voicemail GREETING. And the voicemail message he just heard me leave was stuck in his head. He figures he can just modify the phrase “at YOUR earliest convenience,” and change it ever so slightly to: “at MY earliest convenience.”
It is very acceptable for me to leave a voicemail MESSAGE for John asking him: “Hey John, please return my call at YOUR earliest convenience.”
However, it’s NOT ok for John to modify that phrase (most often in a voicemail GREETING) to “at MY earliest convenience.”
Here’s where the problems begin…
John proceeds to record this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message and I will get back to you at MY earliest convenience.”
WRONG!!! (Loud game-show buzzers should be going off in the background).
WRONG, WRONG, double WRONG!
John, buddy, you can’t do that!
By recording a greeting on voicemail that uses “at MY earliest convenience” John has unknowingly thumbed his nose at all of his callers that heard his recorded greeting.
Look at it closely. If you use the phrase “at MY earliest convenience,” on your voicemail GREETING, you are telling your callers that you will call them back “at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.” That means you’ve said to them in effect…
“I’ll call you back when it’s CONVENIENT for ME.”
“When I’m good and ready.”
“Whenever I feel like it.”
John may as well have recorded this voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you whenever I feel like it…whenever it works for me…whenever it’s convenient for me. You know…at MY earliest CONVENIENCE.”

John, say it isn’t so! We thought you were such a good guy!
John would do better to keep it simple with regard to recorded voicemail greetings. He would do just fine with this very appropriate voicemail GREETING:
“Hello, you have reached John. I am unavailable to take your call, but your call is very important to me. Please leave a message and I will get back with you as soon as possible.” http://www.recruitingblogs.com/profiles/blogs/at-your-earliest-convenience

[Snake Alchemist]

96. And why should I trust recruitingblogs.com again?

This is an odd thread.

[Quantess]

100. You mean, this is a ridiculous thread?

Yeah.

[oldhippie]

110. But it's a fun thread ......

.... something we need more of, if you ask me.

[niyad]

104. the veiled insult was cute. and I repeat, some people have wayyyyyy too much time on their hands.

by the way, the primary definition of the word illiterate is the inability to READ or WRITE a given language.

manners and usage are another thing entirely.

[Snake Alchemist]

87. "My wife is having a baby and we're in the delivery, but I knew you wanted a call back" nt

[Snake Alchemist]

89. Maybe it's an age thing? How old are you? nt

[Snake Alchemist]

91. Mine just says: Holla!!! nt

[ecstatic]

98. Mine says just that

Sorry. I respond when I feel like responding, not when you (the caller) wants me to.

[TreasonousBastard]

102. I don't care what you job recruiter says...

"At my earliest convenience" is just another way of saying "as soon as I can". I think it's a little snooty, but it seems to be a preferred default message on answering machines and voicemail.

I can't very well call at YOUR earliest convenience, can I? How would I know? Besides, you called me so unless you're in danger of death, or are warning me of dangers of death, or, (better yet) giving me money, why would I be in any particular rush to call you back to solve your problem? Complaining about my message offering to return your call at all, probably at my great inconvenience and possible expense and which I most likely didn't want anyway could be considered rude.

I've changed most of my default messages to the very simple "You know what to do at the beep." which quite a few people seem to think is rude enough.

[niyad]

106. my favourite message is, "you have reached the psychic research network. we know who you are, and

why you called, so, at the beep, please hang up"

[oldhippie]

109. I've recently made my recording more polite .....

My home phone and my work phone used to be:

"You have reached xxx-xxxx. Why?"

I don't have a work phone anymore since I retired, but I did clean up the home phone message a little:

"You have reached xxx-xxxx. Please leave a message at the beep."

I said, "please."

I would never imply that I would call back, because I might not, and that would be inaccurate, impolite, and dishonest.

[pa28]

111. Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it.

Could that be the case here?

When I leave a voicemail I don't want to leave the recipient with a sense of obligation to respond immediately. That would be rude on my part because I was the caller after all.

I've heard the message you described and it's always come off as boilerplate and a reasonable bargain. If the person recording it came off with a certain attitude that might be another story.

[Missy Vixen]

114. I have that message on my cell phone VM

I was unaware that it's rude until today. I'm not sure what I'll replace it with. There are less than 20 people in the world who even know my cell phone number. They already know it's best to call me on our phone in the house, due to the fact the cell gets lost at the bottom of my handbag, and it's typically used for emergencies only.

If you think that's rude, I hope you don't call someone else I know's home phone. Her message starts off with the usual, "We can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message," and segues into, "And if you don't know what number you're calling, you should know your call is unwelcome. Please hang up and don't call here again."

[REP]

115. Mine says "This is REP. This hasn't been Jon Bumblefuck's number for 10 years. If you want him,

Dial another number. If you want me, leave a message."

"At my earliest convenience" is just a phrase some people thought sounded refined and edumacated, but didn't really understand what it means. There's a lot of that about.

[MineralMan]

116. My voicemail says, "We'll call you back as soon as we can."

It's the same thing. You're making too much of what is a perfectly polite message. Of course the person will call you back when it's convenient to do so.

90% of my calls are bullshit. I do call everyone back, but most of the time for no good reason. Usually the caller wants some work for free from me or my wife, or is trying to sell us something. If a friend calls, we call right back. If it's a call relating to actual paid work, we also call back right away, and leave a voice mail on the caller's phone. Eventually, we exchange emails and get our business done, which is how the conversation should have begun. Others get t wait while we take care of real business.

If you need a call back urgently, say so in your message. If you're known to the person, that person will call you back as soon as he or she can. People are away from their phone sometimes. The funny thing is that they'll probably get your voicemail when they return the call. Send 'em an email.

[Throd]

117. You seem unhappy.

Everyone calls everyone else back at their earliest convenience.

[eridani]

118. Voice Mail Villanelle

by Dan Skwire

We're grateful that you called today
And sorry that we're occupied.
We will be with you right away.

Press one if you would like to stay,
Press two if you cannot decide.
We're grateful that you called today.

Press three to end this brief delay,
Press four if you believe we've lied.
We will be with you right away.

Press five to hear some music play,
Press six to speak with someone snide.
We're grateful that you called today.

Press seven if your hair's turned gray,
Press eight if you've already died.
We will be with you right away.

Press nine to hear recordings say
That service is our greatest pride.
We're grateful that you called today.
We will be with you right away.

[Robb]

119. DU has its own Andy Rooney!

[Zorra]

122. No, never ran into one of those, but I'm looking forward to it.

I'll compose an interesting reply for the occasion.

[ZombieHorde]

123. Mine says: "Fuck you, you fucking fuck!"

Just kidding, I have no idea what my answering machine says.

Pet peeves are funny. I have a few pet peeves too.

[treestar]

124. I don't do that but get

messages from people who demand that I call them as soon as I get their message. And a couple of people who leave really long messages. Use email if you're long winded - it saves a lot of time. People feeling entitled to waste my time are not appreciated.

Another thing I loathe is people who leave a second or third message without allowing a reasonable time to get back to them.

[WillowTree]

125. Absolutely amazing the trivialities that some people will get all exercised about!!

There really are much worse things in this world than someone not wording their effin' VOICEMAIL GREETING to your specifications.

Take a breath.

[Major Nikon]

126. Mine came with a message already on it

I haven't felt the need to change it.

[randome]

127. Someone needs to buy you a cell phone.

[lonestarnot]

128. Guess you wouldn't like mine either then. "Leave a fucking message if you must."

Snort.

[Nauvoo]

129. It's rude. No doubt.

It is a self-absorbed attempt at being polite by people who probably are unaware they're being rude. Telling people that calling them back when essentially they have nothing better to do, is probably exactly what they mean to say. They just don't think there's anything wrong with saying that. Being polite is fine as long as they don't have to be inconvenienced. But listen to them howl when everyone else doesn't drop everything they're doing so that these precious snowflakes don't have to wait for anything they want.

[uppityperson]

130. Welcome to DU. How did you find such an old thread?