A solution to this Texas Secessionist thing

[alberg]

I think I’ve got a solution to this Texas Secessionist thing I’ve been hearing about.

I get the point that you guys don’t really want to be a part of the United States anymore and so I got this idea that I believe solves a whole bunch of problems all at once.

How ‘bout we sell you folks back to Mexico?

Now hold on, hold on. Hear me out.

Consider all the advantages to this plan.

One, you’re not going to be a part of the United States anymore and I know that’s a big issue on your minds. I’m not going to go into all the reason’s why you feel this way but basically you want out and this is a way for you to be out.

Two, I think we can get a pretty good price for you guys. After all, you’re always talking about how great and special Texas is and the fact that you’ve got such a great economy. And Mexico has always wanted you. In fact, you used to be part of Mexico (remember the Alamo?). And plus, (and this has got to make you happy) the money we get will go a long way towards paying down the Federal Deficit that many of you seem so worried about.

So here we go, we’re going to sell you guys back to Mexico and, oh – one other big advantage. You know that Mexican border immigration situation that you’ve had such a problem with? Well it just disappears, because once this deal goes through, you’ll all be Mexicans.

So there you have it, a simple Free Market solution where everybody gets what they want.

And you thought Liberals were dumb.

[KansDem]

1. I had lunch with a friend over the weekend...

He thinks (and he's thought this way for some time) that the US will have to annex Mexico as a means to end the drug wars and violence among the gangs and other criminal activities and corruption such as money laundering. He thinks that may be the only way to end such corruption and criminal activity.

I asked him if he knew about money laundering of drug money through US banks, i.e., HSBC:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/afontevecchia/2012/07/16/hsbc-helped-terrorists-iran-mexican-drug-cartels-launder-money-senate-report-says/

He hadn't heard the specific details. I told him if he wanted to end drug-gang violence and corruption in Mexico, he'd have to take on powerful banking and financial interests in the United States. We pretty much agreed that wouldn't happen.

But he still thinks the US will have to annex Mexico (around 2050) as a "solution" to its problems with drugs, corruption, and violence.

[alberg]

2. Did the thought of legalization ever cross his mind?

[KansDem]

4. We did discuss that...

With Oregon and Washington legalizing cannabis, there would be less demand for imported drugs. However, until all states pass such legislation, we concluded that there will still be a demand.

And we mused about the possibility that certain economic interests, especially in the US, may not want drugs to be legal in the US.

[nadinbrzezinski]

7. Him, and what army?

This fantasy is lovely.

Also you pointed the log in his eye...and the corruption in the us makes Mexico a rank begginers, but hey...what can I say?

[Paladin]

3. Over 3.2 Million Texans Just Voted For Obama.

But don't let that get in the way of your broad-brush wishful thinking.......

[alberg]

5. I'm sure we can find a way to "amnesty" those folks into USA as part of any "deal" :)

[yogini]

14. Tongue in Cheek?

Are you guys thinking this was a serious idea? Really?

[kentauros]

21. If you would consider the FACT that Texas

is the Number-1 Most Hated State of the Union on DU, then you would realize that we take every single Texas-bashing thread, real or otherwise, as serious.

Also, if you've ever read some of the threads where some DUers were/are quite serious in their suggestions for the secession of Texas, then you'd understand our sentiments.

[Bucky]

28. Thank you. The right way to deal with secessionists is to ignore the child's tantrum.

The right way to deal with the smarmy "let'em go" DUers is to point out that they are now, officially, dumber than Rick Perry, who long ago figured out secession isn't a serious topic.

[alberg]

29. That "ignoring strategy" worked out real well for Lincoln in the 1860's.

It's a humorous post, sorry if you didn't get the joke.

[Bucky]

42. The OP was very humorous, but this one comparing today's whiners to the CSA's a good joke.

Thanks for the chortle

[kentauros]

30. Okay, you made me laugh out loud with the "dumber than Rick Perry" bit!

[trof]

33. Oh HELL NO! ALABAMA is most hated.

Texas is #2 or 3.

[alberg]

34. Wait a minute - New York has got to be in the top 3, right along with California.

[kentauros]

35. We're going to have to have a contest or a vote now

[Michigan Alum]

43. Not for me. Texas is the most obnoxiously red.

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. Oil in that ointment

Mexico don't want them either. The border fence would surround Texas.

[alberg]

8. What if we through in the Cowboys franchise?

Then the NFL could become the North America Football League.

[nadinbrzezinski]

9. Nope...

Also you know why Tejas became the Republica de Tejas and then Texas? Why Mexico would say no? A bunch of traitors. I love history. And it is far more complex than the myth...and the treason happened on both side, FYI. I mean the actual, it meets the definition and everything. Lets just say the myth does not match the reality.

Also you have a few thousand idiots...you want to kick a state out cause a racist white minority is throwing a tanter tantrum and speaking well, treason? Really?

I mean the n***r won, that's te way they talk in private. They are dangerous, but you do not encourage them.

[alberg]

10. So, you think there is realistic chance

that Texas will actually get behind this perfectly reasonable idea?

[nadinbrzezinski]

13. No, because that is treason

Any elected leader that says this will be rightfully arrested if they mean it, for sedition.

Jaysus, what is wrong with people?

[Coyotl]

11. I have a better plan.

Take some uninhabited desert, call it a reservation, and place them there.
I'm sure they will figure out how to live in the desert after a century or so.
They can consult about that with the Native Americans they displaced.

Or, offer them a free bus ticket to the nearest border.
And wish them "Good luck getting into Mexico" for more than a short visit.

[yogini]

12. He speaks Spanish doesn't he?

How's about Jeb Bush moves back to Texas and then runs for President of Mexico. Or maybe "W" wants another go.

[blogslut]

15. groan

Texans wanting to secede is not a "thing". in a state of nearly 26 million people, some 90 thousand willing to sign an online petition is what we here in the Lone Star State call a Monday.

[NoGOPZone]

16. Am I too late for the popcorn? nt

[kentauros]

17. Define "you guys"

Because it's not any of my fellow Native (or otherwise) Texans that I know.

How about we just sell you off to Canada? Win-Win situation for the rest of us as I see it.

[alberg]

19. "You guys" are the people signing the petition.

And as far as your Canadian suggestion goes, how 'bout we just pass single payer health care and then we'll have removed one of the big motivators for wanting to go to Canada.

[kentauros]

20. I have no motivation to go to Canada.

My suggestion for you going there has to do with the fact that the majority of these Texas-bashing threads come from folks closer to the Canadian border than I.

[alberg]

27. I'm not bashing Texas

I'm trying to make the point that it is absurd that a very few folks are suggesting that Texas secede simply because Barack Obama was elected to another 4 year term. After all, the rest of us suffered through 8 long years of "W" and no state seceded (although, well, er, your right - we might have thought about it).

I've been to Austin and Houston and liked them both.

[kentauros]

31. Of course it's all absurd.

The problem is that, as posted above, there are smarmy DUers that would read your post and not see it as a joke, but a method to boot us out. They are of the opinion that the Union would be better off without us, while ignoring the republicans in their own state that are just as bad as "ours".

I knew you were being facetious, but it wasn't joking enough. It still comes across as serious. Use the sarcasm tag next time.

And I'm glad you liked two of our purple to blue cities. All of them except for Corpus Christie are on the path to blue. I'm not sure what their problem is

[alberg]

36. Then these smarmy DU'ers need to be thrown off the site and never allowed to return.

Darwin needs to prevail. If they're not smart enough to get the joke then we don't want them in the Democratic Party. This is the Party of Chris Rock and George Carlin. Those guys know how to party (I know Carlin is dead, but he did know how back in the day). But if these smarmy fuckers can't take a joke, or even get the joke, then they need to be banished. How 'bout Mexico?

[yogini]

18. WOW! Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore!

[LynneSin]

22. My best solution - IGNORE THEM

Really!

WE're talking about >.005% of the population. To me they have about as much voice as a group of Neo-Nazi Skinheads - just a bunch of hateful crazies not worth our time.

[yogini]

23. +1

[brooklynite]

24. Seriously, what THING are you talking about?

Are you referring to an online petition in which, if we generously assume every "signer" is a single Texas citizen (as opposed to an out of state or duplicate email account), we're talking about less than 1/2 % of the Texas population?

[alberg]

25. Not "seriously" at all - that was the point

The post was intended to be humorous, and yes I am referring to that petition that was posted on the White House web site and requires (because of the number of signers) to be responded to. Agree with your take on this - just how absurd it all is. Of course Texas is not going to secede. Of course we're not going to sell Texas back to Mexico. Although, when I think about it, maybe we can trade certain sections of Texas to Mexico for some parts of Cancun and a hundred year supply of very high quality weed.

[dchill]

26. Let's just turn Texas blue.

[kentauros]

32. ^ ^ ^ The best post in the thread!

[dchill]

46. Thanks!

Reason and sanity must reign.

[alberg]

47. Agreed.

[dbackjon]

37. Anyone know the reason Texas was Annexed in the first place?

It is really quite ironic...

[cherokeeprogressive]

38. This is no more witty than any of the other 4,837 posts about Texas or other states seceding. n/t

[alberg]

39. Sorry you didn't like it.

[OldDem2012]

40. Just another thread offering an opportunity to bash the South....

....this OP is no more humorous than the other 5,000 threads on this basic topic.

[alberg]

41. What's being "bashed' is fanaticism and bigotry and a political philosophy that has a significant

portion of our population voting against their own self interest. To insist that this attempt at a humorous post is bashing Texas or The South is to play in to the media manipulation that continues to give headlines to these silly petitions and continues the myth of the "red" states and the "blue" states. If you are from the South or from Texas and disagree with these overblown Seccessionist sentiments, then by all means make your voices heard to your neighbors and your friends.If you don't think this post is all that funny, well then, that's my fault for not doing a better job of getting the point across. My apologies.

[Michigan Alum]

44. Jeez you Texans need to be able to take a joke. Us Floridians have been made fun of by everyone

For years. People have talked about cutting us off and let us float away. We get it far worse than Texas and by far more groups than just DUers. We all just laugh about it. I can't blame people - sometimes I can't stand us.