Romney Spends $600 Million On Top-Tier 'Soul Searching' Team

[trailmonkee]

Sources say the former candidate has invested in an expert team of life purpose consultants to help him weigh his post-election possibilities.

http://www.theonion.com/video/romney-spends-600-million-on-toptier-soul-searchin,30441/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

[Berlum]

1. Follow Your Bliss, Willard

Even though it has led you deep deep deep into the Republican chickenhawk cesspool of greedhead values.

It's where you belong. FAILville (R).

[libodem]

2. They are gunna play hell

Trying to find any soul there. I'm telling ya.

[Mme. Defarge]

3. Hysterical!

[DreamGypsy]

4. A typical vulture capitalist technique...

... "artificially inflating public interest before breaking himself and selling the pieces to China."

[jmowreader]

5. This is funny but it's also bullshit

How do we know it's bullshit? Let me count the ways.

Romney would have bargained them down to $300 million, and paid them in 120 days.

Second, Romney would never go to a soul-searching exercise because he has no soul.

And even if he had one, his life's work is mapped out: he is going to don a black suit, white shirt and black fedora, go to Republican gatherings, get on his knees and recite John Belushi's apology to Carrie Fisher out of The Blues Brothers."It wasn't my fault! I swear to God!"

[trailmonkee]

6. .