On Holiday Depression

[H2O Man]

The holiday season is rough for many of us. For that very reason, I have an obnoxious-repulsive disorder thar demands I write this. After all, my generation is facing extinction soon, and this may be our last Christmas ..... so please give generously. You don't want us to haunt you next year.

Two tragic events took place this week, and we all are suffering. First, after decades of heated debate, scientists have finally proven that there are no signs of life coming from the rotting corpse of Henry Kissinger. Obviously, since they do not believe in science, the republicans will insist it is a lie. But we have known he's been dead for decades, despite the gas released due to his decay.

Okay, let's take a second to gather in a prayer circle to focus our thoughts and prayers for Henry the Dead. Done? Okay. Now let's explore the reasons why I added the clip of Jeremy above. Indeed, this is from around the time the "Paul is dead" rumor struck, and it is closely connected. Stick with me.

The Beatles have kept this a secret, but I think that it's the right time to inform the public. During a break in the filming of the movie "Yellow Submarine," Jeremey found himself alone in a room where Yoko was warming up for a scream session for the unreleased LP "Three Virgins." An embryo was later found and immediately froozen, and remained there unidentified, for decades showing no more signs of life that Henry the Dead.

At this point, I'll take a second, knowing you are sitting back in your chair, saying, "Holy shit! It's all coming together to make perfect sense!" Let us continue, for the Truth willl set you free.

Now, in late 1987, Anthony Fauci had a lucid dream that mad scientists were creating a virus that would turn American republicans into angry sheep by destroying their ethical compasses. He thought this a premonition, thus he took what he thought a froozen sheep embryo from deep freeze, and headed directly to Bowling Green, and transplanted it into the archic and gangrene womb of Kellyanne Conway, an advocate of fertilized eggs who had no understanding of people different than herself's needs.

On July 22, 1988, the egg hatched. Despite Dr. Fauci's sincerest hopes that he could produce a vaccine to protect republicans, it did not work -- not that they trust vaccines or science in general anyways. Instead, the combination of Jeremy, Yoko's screams, and Kelltanne;s gangrene resulted in the toxic biproduct known to science as George Anthony Devolder Santos.The Mad Republican Disease (MRD) spread across the land, and George was elected to Congress. And today, we mourn the passing of his political career.

As sad as we may be at this time, there is still hope. Keep hope alive as we approach Christmas, for these things often come threes.

[malaise]

1. Man you have me howling with laughter

This makes sense

[H2O Man]

2. It cannot be

explained otherwise.

[OldBaldy1701E]

3. Bravo! (n/t)

[H2O Man]

5. Thank you!

I thought that maybe people were too depressed to reply to this.

[True Dough]

4. All I know is

you're a GOOD EGG, H2O Man!

[H2O Man]

6. Thanks!

I shall take the 5th, and not answer any questions about the commercial "this is your brain" regarding the OP, even though it's legal in this state.

[bluescribbler]

7. Very good.

You have outdone yourself.

[H2O Man]

8. Thank you!

I'm an old man. There have been obnoxious republican asswipes in Congress all my life, but nothing that compares with George or some of the other ass-clowns their party has elected to serve in the House in recent years.

[spanone]

9. Succinct, Sir

K&R

[H2O Man]

10. Thanks!

I can say hat every word of the OP is as true as anything poor George every said, and as honorable as anything Henery ever did.

I had started an essay on a serious topic today. However, I then had a call from Onondaga about returning human remains to the earth, and then a four hour call from the nephew of one of boxing's elite, all-time great champions. First time I've spoken with either one! But I'll get back to a serious topic soon.

[PufPuf23]

11. Thank you. Really needed that!! kr

[H2O Man]

12. Thanks!