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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBreaking: Republican Intern Named Zach to Be Speaker of the House
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republican-intern-named-zach-to-be-speaker-of-the-house?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_10132023&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=639d8f242bd81a04de0da4d8&cndid=72191988&hasha=fe8bc45b402994c6754f546553256d09&hashb=d52437994f776ceb222bcc6a2655628fedf2a0d6&hashc=f6a0d94c816fe5ba8d662ac9ee83dfdbae1a51d1a7fb8eba2a9d0718e9759a89&esrc=BX_Multi1st_Borowitz&utm_term=TNY_BorowitzThis is gonna be dope, he said.
By Andy Borowitz
October 13, 2023
https://media.newyorker.com/photos/65297fcb628e3ee72d922835/master/w_1280,c_limit/borowitz-intern%20house%20speaker.jpg
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)In what they are hailing as a consensus choice, House Republicans have nominated a college intern named Zach to be the new Speaker of the House.
The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was kind of surprised to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was totally stoked about wielding that hammer.
dalton99a
(83,754 posts)The freshly minted G.O.P. nominee acknowledged that he was kind of surprised to be chosen as Speaker but said that he was totally stoked about wielding that hammer.
Im, like, whoaall of a sudden, Im Thor, he said. This is gonna be dope.
Zach, who is taking a year off from his studies at the Northern University of Southern Florida, is well liked within the G.O.P. conference, insiders said.
Zach never screws up our coffee orders, one Republican congressman said. You couldnt say the same for Kevin McCarthy.
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)The Fighting Nor'easters if memory serves.
underpants
(186,058 posts)634-5789
(4,252 posts)obamanut2012
(27,698 posts)CatWoman
(79,594 posts)dchill
(40,085 posts)Wonder Why
(4,516 posts)dchill
(40,085 posts)Change the names all you want. You're not innocent, MAGATS.
Hermit-The-Prog
(36,304 posts)Journeyman
(15,132 posts)If nothing else, the chamber will be better than half full of them.
moondust
(20,359 posts)To do whatever he wants and ignore everybody else? The GQP MO.
LetMyPeopleVote
(153,634 posts)SergeStorms
(19,273 posts)His satire is so outrageous it fools many into thinking it's reality. It's just too outrageous to be satire, it has to be the truth, right?
FailureToCommunicate
(14,293 posts)Shermann
(8,499 posts)orleans
(34,754 posts)Xavier Breath
(4,810 posts)especially with that party.
If you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree.
EarnestPutz
(2,540 posts)Marcuse
(7,969 posts)qwlauren35
(6,235 posts)Anyone is better than Trump... even a Republican Intern.
Well. Let me think about it. Greene vs. Trump, Boebart vs. Trump.
Yup, Trump is the worst option.
Attilatheblond
(4,063 posts)Good luck, Zach. Might wanna borrow Indiana Jones' whip to get started. The GOP House Whip seems to need replacing too.
UTUSN
(72,177 posts)BadGimp
(4,056 posts)Yavin4
(35,903 posts)calimary
(83,841 posts)Backseat Driver
(4,605 posts)Oh FPS, let "Give me librium or give me meth" get out the appliance to call the bingo numbers; in plain view of all, place GOP names in the wire ball one by one; spin it around, and draw. The name drawn is Speaker. Give that person plenty of time learning to use the gavel, 216 burner phones, a meet and greet with the Parlimentarian, and this training video.
peppertree
(22,803 posts)Always a good career strategy in the GOP.
twodogsbarking
(12,092 posts)4lbs
(7,343 posts)That tells me he knows how to properly read and write. As they said, he NEVER screws up their coffee orders.
He's not a screwup. He can't be conservative.
republianmushroom
(17,100 posts)ZonkerHarris
(25,140 posts)tclambert
(11,123 posts)Aussie105
(6,150 posts)Too young to be a Republican POTUS candidate, I suppose?
JohnnyRingo
(19,224 posts)Georges Santos is more likely to be nominated.
JohnnyRingo
(19,224 posts)There is much more at the link. Hilarious!