Top 10 Conservative Idiots #15-8: Donnie's Got A Gun Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Last edited Thu Sep 28, 2023, 02:54 PM - Edit history (2)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #15-8: Donnie’s Got A Gun Edition

Ed Note: Due to a scheduling conflict, the Top 10 is early today! Enjoy!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! It’s just like your regular news site, but you won’t see links to related articles on what the 10 best pizza toppings are. And we won’t ask you to subscribe to our newsletter, either. Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! What is up, Austin, Texas? It’s good to be back in Austin, it has been way too long! How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! We’ve got some fun stuff for you this week including the debut of our brand new segment – My Governor is An IDIOT! How cool is that? And it’s also good to finally be back on schedule after the hiccups we’ve been having since Labor Day. Don’t worry, the rest of our schedule is totally unaffected. So do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! Well here’s a bizarre story out of Florida that you may have heard about on your favorite podcast. And why am I not surprised in the least that this story is taking place in Florida, by the way? Well it all started when a mom in Gainesville took away her kids’ electronics as a punishment. Your typical grounding. Well, the typical response from the kids is to leave and go somewhere else, right? So the kids – a brother and sister – got in their parents’ car and drove 200 miles before they were eventually found by police. 200 miles. 200 miles. No matter how many times I say that, it sounds weird. At 10 years old. Shit, when I was 10 years I was trying to find the princess in Super Mario Bros. These kids are finding their way to California! Give them a GPS and some driving lessons. Damn! That’s truly insane! OK enough of the intro. The strike is over! Our favorite shows are coming back! Woohoo! But in the meantime while we’re waiting for Colbert and John Oliver to resume production, here’s Christopher Titus’ latest Armageddon Update and he blasts the party of “family values” after Boebert’s Beetlejuice fiasco:

So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is Fox News (1). It’s the end of an era at the “We Report, You Decide” network as megalomaniacal warlord wannabe Rupert Murdoch is stepping down and leaving News Corp in the hands of his son Lachlan Murdoch. And the answer is no, Lachlan isn’t much better. In fact, he’s a full blown Nazi. Taking the second slot this week is MAGA Republicans (2). Fresh off last week’s attempted impeachment inquiry of Biden, despite having no evidence whatsoever, they’re attempting to shut down the government. Because they don’t want to actually do their jobs. Ugh, this is the worst Congress ever! In the number 3 slot is also the MAGA Qongress. Because the Ukraine War is still a thing, unfortunately, but the MAGA conspiracy theorist lunatics infecting Congress acted like the spoiled children they are when Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky visited the UN and the White House to plead for more war aid. In the number 4 slot this week is that guy who we used to inexplicably call president (4). So he had another one of his stupid rallies in a middle of nowhere South Carolina town, but he had a bizarre photo appearance at a gun shop, placating to his base. Wait, indicted criminal taking possession of a weapon… it sounds familiar, yet I can’t quite put my finger on it! Taking the fifth slot this week is the Senate. OK.. look, say what you want about the way that Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman dresses. But listening to both sides of the debate this week has been clinically insane! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week, we’ve had enough of MAGAs saying that drag queens are terrible for children, but youth pastors get a pass. So we’re going to play a game – drag queen or youth pastor? Hint: No drag queens have been arrested that we know of! In the number 7 slot this week, after his poll numbers and support keeps dwindling, we’re going to ask: “The Ron DeSantis Presidential Campaign: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly venture into the never ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week, you may have heard about a fighter jet that went missing from the Pentagon, and the theories floating about the internet have been absolutely wild. Phew. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new I Need A Drink (9). Yeah there’s more ridiculous fast food lawsuits in the works – first it was Burger King, now it’s McDonalds and Starbucks. Where does it end? Finally this week, it’s time for the debut of our brand new segment “My Governor Is An Idiot” (10)! We’re going on a search to find the best and worst governors in the country! This week it’s round 1 and we’re pitting Arkansas governor Sarah Sanders against Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer! This is going to be great! And to cap things off, we have some live music from the legendary Arctic Monkeys! Go see their shows at the Kia Forum this weekend and buy their new album "The Car" or you're no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Rupert Murdoch Retires
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Well folks, it’s the end of an era. The king media terrorist himself, Rupert Murdoch – destroyer of governments, installer of dictators – is finally heading off into the sunset and leaving his son, Lachlan Murdoch, in charge of News Corporation. So why is he stepping down and leaving the company in the hands of his son? Well, for one thing, money. And it’s always about money, isn’t it? But he’s getting quite the sweet payday to ride off into the proverbial sunset. You might be wondering what’s going to happen to News Corp.? Well I answer you – it’s going to be the same as it’s always been, only this time with more far right authoritarian bordering on Nazi leanings. Yes, the people who installed Viktor Orban as supreme dictator of Hungary are now attempting to do the same thing in America. Only they are trying. But anyway with Rupert Murdoch now officially gone, it’s going to be interesting to see Fox in the hands of his son.

Much ink has been spilled about the impending retirement of Rupert Murdoch as chairman of the global news empire he founded and his family still controls.

But what’s been overlooked so far is that Murdoch, as has so often been the case in a seemingly endless career, engineered quite the golden handshake for himself.

The man who made the news will be entitled to pension benefits worth nearly $219 million from his US operation Fox Corp when he steps down as chairman of the company in November, according to the latest filings to the American corporate regulator.

Closer to home, Murdoch senior – who will take up the role of emeritus chairman and be succeeded in the top job by his number one boy Lachlan Murdoch – was entitled to a touch over $6.4 million from the News Corp Australian operation, plus his bonus $2 million in the financial year 2022.
https://www.smh.com.au/cbd/rupert-murdoch-retires-with-220-million-golden-handshake-20230924-p5e76b.html

Yeah OK so he gets a nice $220 million payday while the rest of us get… peanuts. Gotta love trickle down economics, am I right? But there’s definitely more to Murdoch’s sudden retirement. But Murdoch, the ultimate media shock jock, is basically the plot of the hit HBO drama Succession. Like he may have technically stepped down from the company, but you just know he’s going to be pulling his son’s proverbial strings from now until the day he finally kicks the bucket. But if it looks like Fox News is moving in a more hardlined authoritarian direction, well, you’re definitely not wrong.

Examples of Murdoch’s swift and unexpected daring abound. His blitzkrieg through the British newspaper industry, acquiring both tabloid and prestigious broadsheets. Stealing New York magazine from under Clay Felker’s nose. Breaking the British newspaper unions at Wapping. Building the Fox television network practically overnight and then stealing NFL rights from under CBS’ nose. Unseating CNN as the dominant TV news outlet with Fox News Channel. Shuttering the News of the World to quiet the phone hacking scandal and paying Dominion Voting Systems $787 million to settle a libel suit.

So it is today that the 92-year-old Murdoch blasted the media world with another tremor as he announced his unpredicted “retirement” from his status as chair of both of his companies, Fox and News Corp. The word retirement deserves prominent quotation marks because nowhere in Murdoch’s letter announcing his move to chairman emeritus does he actually use it. The letter closes with him promising to be “involved every day” as an “active member” of the Fox and News Corp. companies, watching its broadcasts and reading its newspapers and books, “reaching out” with “thoughts, ideas, and advice,” and visiting his various outposts.

Murdoch’s “departure” sounds a lot like a lost episode of Succession, with Logan Roy dramatically stepping down but not really stepping down from the chairmanship of Waystar Royco for evil genius reasons to be revealed in a future episode. The idea that Murdoch would give up power before he dies defies everything we’ve learned about him. The idea that he would give up power even after he dies is equally preposterous. Murdoch didn’t build his media empire only to have his children piss it away after he passes. The only way the announcement makes sense is if he’s designed it to boost the status of his chosen heir, son Lachlan Murdoch, the current executive chair and CEO of Fox and now sole chair of News Corp., so he can motor it further down the path Rupert charted.
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/09/21/rupert-murdoch-will-never-give-up-power-00117410

Yeah we can imagine that’s going to be Rupert Murdoch’s next course of business as he continues to pull the strings behind the scenes. Think of it like the Phantom Of The Opera. You don’t know he’s there until the very end when he reveals that he’s the one who everyone has been afraid of this whole time, you know, like some kind of fucked up Scooby Doo ending. But even people who work at Fox are stunned by this sudden announcement. But come on, really. Murdoch is 92 years old. How can this possibly be shocking to anyone? Well for those that actually know Murdoch, they are convinced that he’s possibly immortal.

From the beginning, Rupert Murdoch ran his media empire like a king who planned to die on the throne. Even death itself seemed up for debate; “I’m now convinced of my own immortality,” Murdoch famously declared in 1999 after beating prostate cancer at the age of 69. Which is why it was shocking Thursday morning that Murdoch announced he would be stepping down as chairman of Fox Corporation and News Corp, the global media conglomerates he built out of a small Australian newspaper company he inherited from his father in 1952. In November, Murdoch will take the title of chairman emeritus and hand the reins to his oldest son, Lachlan, the current CEO of Fox Corp. I was leaving a coffee shop in Lower Manhattan when my cell phone lit up with calls and texts from current and former Fox staffers searching for an explanation. “I never thought he’d do it,” a former executive said.

Murdoch’s memo to employees sent contradictory signals about the 92-year-old mogul’s decision to retire. On the one hand, Murdoch wrote that “the time is right for me to take on different roles, knowing that we have truly talented teams.” But he also indicated he wasn’t really going away: “I will be watching our broadcasts with a critical eye, reading our newspapers and websites and books with much interest, and reaching out to you with thoughts, ideas, and advice. When I visit your countries and companies, you can expect to see me in the office late on a Friday afternoon.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/09/rupert-murdoch-retirement-fox-news

Ha ha ha ha ha ha… I love it when Fox shows make fun of Fox. But in case you’re wondering what’s next for Fox and News Corp, well, it’s all up in the air. But right now, they’re leaning towards going full Nazi, and they’re convincing the Republican party that it’s OK to join them. Yeah we definitely see dictators in the future of the United States. But that’s neither here nor there. One thing is for absolute certain is that the News Corp hierarchy is a hotbed of nepotism. Like remember what we said about Succession? This is essentially succession in real life. You are watching Fox. We are watching Fox!

Lachlan Murdoch is one of Murdoch’s sons with his second wife, Anna. With his father stepping down, Lachlan is set to become News Corp. chairman and continue as chief executive officer of Fox Corp., home to conservative news network Fox News, the Fox broadcast and sports networks, and local TV stations.

Lachlan has been CEO for Fox Corp. since 2019, following Disney’s acquisition of 21st Century Fox. Before the merger, he served as executive chairman of 21st Century Fox, starting in 2015 — while his brother, James, was CEO of Fox’s then-entertainment business in what analysts described as a competitive power-share concocted by their father.

Lachlan rose to executive ranks of the family business, then known collectively as News Corp, in the 1990s and early 2000s. While serving as deputy chief operating officer from 2000 to 2005, his titles also included chairman of Fox Television Stations and publisher of the New York Post.

According to CNN, Lachlan temporarily left over a battle with former top executive Roger Ailes about the network’s direction in 2005 — before returning as 21st Century Fox executive chairman about a decade later. During his hiatus, he founded private investment company Illyria Pty.
https://fortune.com/2023/09/21/who-is-lachlan-murdoch-james-rupert-retirement-succession-children/

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[font size="8"]Government Shutdown Apocalypse

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So you thought last week’s attempted impeachment inquiry against Biden despite the fact that the MAGA Qongress has had zero evidence that an impeachment inquiry is warranted, other than it’s what their boss, Sean Hannity, wants? Oh you ain’t seen nothing yet, my friends! Rather than do their damn jobs, the MAGA Qongress is going to throw yet another temper tantrum, because they really are a bunch of spoiled children and simply shut down the government. Yes, the MAGA Qongress is like that kid you see screaming in Target because their parents won’t buy them a shiny new toy and they scream as loud as they can until the parents break down and do. That’s essentially what we are dealing with here as the threat of a possible shutdown lingers. But right now they’re doing everything they can to avoid a Fox News sponsored shut down. And yes, I blame Fox News and the right wing talk show sphere, any damage that results from this shutdown is entirely on them. These morons are the ones who claim democrats don’t do their jobs. Just… argh!!! Here’s more.

Congress is rushing headlong into crisis mode Tuesday with a government shutdown days away, as Speaker Kevin McCarthy faces an insurgency from hard-right Republicans eager to slash spending even if it means halting pay for the military and curtailing federal services for millions of Americans.

There's no clear path ahead as lawmakers return with tensions high and options limited. The House is expected to launch an evening vote on a package of bills to fund parts of the government, but it's not at all clear that McCarthy has the support needed as holdouts demand steeper spending cuts.

“It’s easy,” McCarthy quipped Tuesday when asked about keeping the government open.

But with just five days to go before Saturday's deadline, the Senate is trying to stave off a federal closure as the hard-right flank seizes control of the House. Senators unveiled a bipartisan stopgap measure to keep offices funded for temporarily, through Nov. 17, to buy time for Congress to finish its work.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/government-shutdown-just-days-away-040314710.html

Yes, Kevin McCarthy, you suck. Any attempt to shut down the government and any damage that results from this is entirely on you. I hope you sleep easy at night, and your boss, Sean Hannity, gets a nice, big fat paycheck. Fuck both of you. Now that I got that off my chest, this latest attempt to shutdown the government could be majorly disastrous. HOW DISASTROUS IS IT? Well, my fair audience, it could have some serious long term consequences for this country. We’ve had nearly 200 days without entertainment because of the writer’s strike. Now we could have no functioning government. This is the worst Congress ever!

Republican U.S. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy on Wednesday rejected a stopgap funding bill advancing in the Senate, bringing Washington closer to its fourth partial shutdown of the U.S. government in a decade with just four days to go.

That would lead to the furlough of hundreds of thousands of federal workers and the suspension of a wide range of government services, from economic data releases to nutrition benefits, until Congress manages to pass a funding bill that President Joe Biden, a Democrat, would sign into law.

The Senate plan, which advanced on a wide bipartisan margin on Tuesday, would fund the government through Nov. 17, giving lawmakers more time to agree on funding levels for the full fiscal year beginning Oct. 1.

Top Senate Democrat Chuck Schumer said the Senate would hold the next procedural vote on its bill on Thursday, unless senators can reach an agreement that would allow them to vote sooner.

McCarthy's House of Representatives was focusing its efforts on trying to agree on more of the 12 separate full-year funding bills, of which they have so far passed one.+
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/shutdown-countdown-us-congress-has-four-days-fund-government-2023-09-27/

Yes, MAGA Qongress, you fucking suck. Fuck you, fuck Fox News, and fuck the people who vote for your sorry asses. This whole thing is criminally insane. And it could affect everything from air travel to social security, Medicare, hospitals, road construction, disaster response, you name it. I wish someone would say that to the members of the MAGA Qongress who are making this difficult for the rest of us. It’s all to please their talk show host overlords too. This is a Congress that is run by and for cable news, internet podcast, and AM radio conspiracy theory hosts. And none of this is what one would call “good”. In fact, it could be really bad.

House Republicans voted to advance four conservative spending bills on Tuesday in a long-sought display of unity that nonetheless doesn't move Congress any closer to preventing a government shutdown. The relatively routine vote to bring the bills to the House floor for debate gave Speaker Kevin McCarthy a win after days of Republican infighting between moderates and a contingent of hardline House conservatives over how to fund the government.

But the move will likely do little to change the dynamics underlying the fight over government spending, with just days to go before government funding expires. Even if the House were to pass all four bills to fund the Departments of Defense, Homeland Security, State and Agriculture for another year, they contain spending cuts that make them dead on arrival in the Senate, where Democrats are working on their own solution to avoid a shutdown.

A contingent of hard-right Republicans in the House are opposed to a short-term funding extension and want deeper spending cuts. They twice defeated McCarthy's efforts to advance the defense spending bill last week, and have vowed to oppose what's known as a "continuing resolution," which would extend government funding at current levels as broader talks unfold. Lawmakers face a hard deadline of Saturday night to approve funding and keep the government open.

Without an extension, hundreds of thousands of federal employees would go without pay until new funding is approved for their agencies, and dozens of government services could be affected. Essential workers — like active-duty military members, many federal law enforcement officers and air traffic controllers — would stay on the job, but wouldn't be paid until after the shutdown. Employees in nonessential positions would be furloughed without a paycheck until the government is funded again. Government contractors aren't guaranteed backpay.

Read more: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/government-shutdown-kevin-mccarthy-senate-continuing-resolution/

Well the good news is that it looks like both parties are trying to do everything they can to avoid a complete shutdown… for now. When it comes around in November, again, we shall see. And like I keep saying we’ve only been through the shit that the Qongress is putting this country through, for 7 months now. And it just keeps getting worse. And while we 100% agree with Biden on this one, it’s really the only way to prevent future shutdowns and the other madness these Qlowns are doing. But good luck convincing them to turn off their boss, Sean Hannity. If you want to get the GOP to actually do their jobs, just take away their damn talk shows.

President Biden on Monday bashed House Republicans for heading towards a government shutdown, saying that they shouldn’t be elected if they can’t do their job to fund the government.

“Funding the government is one of the most basic, fundamental responsibilities of the Congress and if Republicans in the House don’t start doing their job, we should stop electing them,” Biden said in remarks at the White House.

Biden noted that he made a deal with Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) in May that led to an increase in the debt ceiling. Under that deal, lawmakers voted for legislation that set ceilings on spending for the next year. Now conservatives in the House are seeking to make deeper cuts than that deal.

Biden accused the GOP of not abiding by the debt-ceiling agreement.
https://thehill.com/homenews/lgbtq/4226450-missouri-ag-sues-local-school-board-says-members-knowingly-excluded-parents-from-trans-bathroom-discussion/

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[font size="8"]MAGA Republicans

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Well, the Ukraine war is still a thing, unfortunately. And regardless of how you feel about the war, we can all agree that the reception that the conservatives have given Ukraine upon being invaded was completely appalling and totally beyond the pale. But that’s what happens when you live in conspiracy theory fantasy land and worship hard lined authoritarian dictators. But needless to say while Volodymor Zelensky is on a world tour to get some much needed aide so he can go kick Putin’s ass some more, he’s finding out that right wing conspiracy theorist bullshit is the same no matter what country you go to. I mean hey, that’s why we did two world tours on this program! But the MAGA republicans who are currently engrossed in Q Anon fantasy land, where their opinions are dictated by their call in talk show host of choice, gave him the cold shoulder when he visited. But wait, hold your boos, we will get to the worst part in a minute.

The blue-and-gold flag draped hero worship of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s last Washington trip, which stirred comparisons to Winston Churchill’s wartime stand against Nazism, was a distant memory on Thursday.

Nine months later, Zelensky was back in town and he and his hosts learned some jarring lessons about one another at a moment when a path to ultimate victory in the war against Russia seems increasingly distant.

Zelensky got an abrupt preview of how Donald Trump’s possible return to power after the 2024 election and how the ex-president’s current sway over the ungovernable Republican-led House of Representatives could rupture the multi-billion dollar lifeline on which Ukraine’s survival depends. And far from clearing a new $24 billion administration request to sustain Ukraine’s war effort, the chaotic House failed again Thursday to even fund the defense of the United States, as a new attempt to pass a military appropriations bill foundered against hard-right opposition.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/21/politics/volodymyr-zelensky-washington-visit/index.html

Yeah it’s totally insane how much the GOP has just completely devolved into a deranged, bloodthirsty cult. I mean think about it, they’re actively rooting for one of the most tyrannical dictators in world history to take over Europe while they’re actively denouncing tyranny at home. We haven’t seen a warmongering tyrant this fierce since Hitler took over Poland. And he’s crippling governments left and right through social media propaganda while he’s continuing his terrible conquest. But this whole thing is absolutely insane, and I 100% place the blame on internet conspiracy theorists.

President Volodymyr Zelenskyy worked to shore up U.S. support for Ukraine on a whirlwind visit to Washington on Thursday, delivering an upbeat message on the war’s progress while facing new questions about the flow of American dollars that for 19 months have helped keep his troops in the fight against Russian forces.

The Ukrainian leader received a far quieter reception than the hero’s welcome he was given last year from Congress, but also won generally favorable comments on the next round of U.S. aid he says he needs to stave off defeat.

Zelenskyy, in long-sleeve olive drab, came to the Capitol with a firm message in private talks with Republican and Democratic leaders. The Ukrainians have a solid war plan, and “they are winning,” lawmakers quoted him as assuring them, at a time that the world is watching Western support for Kyiv.

President Joe Biden gave Zelenskyy a red-carpet arrival on the White House South lawn and more ceremony than world leaders normally receive, and made clear his concern with Congress.
https://apnews.com/article/zelenskyy-biden-washington-visit-congress-ukraine-war-1d20574fb3ea4fb5efcc7db5458a33a3

Yeah seriously, people! We got to keep our composure here! I don’t know how many times I need to say this, but I seriously feel like we’re living in the movie Don’t Look Up. Only instead of a meteor crashing into the earth, there’s a mad man out for world domination. And half of the country is under his spell and simply letting him win. Hell if that guy who we inexplicably used to call president were still in charge, Putin would have conquered Ukraine and Belarus and set his sights on Poland. Do we really have to relive World War II again? Sigh… apparently so.

President Biden and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky sought to project their unified front at the White House on Thursday as the two leaders made the case for continued U.S. aid to Ukraine in its war against Russia amid a backdrop of GOP infighting on the matter on Capitol Hill.

Biden hosted Zelensky at the White House as the Ukrainian president made the rounds in Washington, including meeting with Republicans on Capitol Hill who have been skeptical of funding for Ukraine’s war effort.

“Today I’m in Washington to strengthen our coalition to defend Ukrainian children, our families, our homes, freedom and democracy in the world,” Zelensky said in an Oval Office meeting with Biden. “And I started my day in the U.S. Congress to thank its members and the people in America for rolling big, huge support. I felt trust between us. It allowed us to have frank and constructive dialogue.”
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/4217146-biden-hosts-zelensky-at-white-house-amid-funding-fight-for-ukraine/

So does everyone see how there’s a difference between the two parties now? Biden welcomed Zelensky to the White House, which is what should have happened. Trump would have slammed the door in Zelensky’s face, then called him a loser and a Nazi on Twitter, while appearing on Hannity every night convincing his idiot fanbase that it was justified. But it’s a good thing we have Biden in charge right now, because it seems to be the last line of defense right now between American freedom and Russian authoritarianism. Because Biden is helping Ukraine stop Putin’s evil conquest of Europe with all of the US Army’s might, regardless of the MAGA Qongress’ immature temper tantrums.

President Biden announced a new $325 million aid package for Ukraine during Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky's visit Thursday.

Why it matters: Zelensky's visit comes at a crucial moment for Ukraine, as it seeks to shore up support and secure additional funding for its counteroffensive against Russia.

What they're saying: "Today I approved the next tranche of U.S. security assistance to Ukraine including more artillery, more ammunition, more anti-tank weapons and next week, the first U.S. Abrams tanks will be delivered to Ukraine," Biden said.

The latest aid package will focus on bolstering Ukraine's air defense capabilities, Biden said.
https://www.axios.com/2023/09/21/zelensky-washington-dc-biden-mccarthy-congress

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[font size="8"]John Fetterman Dress Code Debate
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Here's where I say that Fox News ruins everything. Like it’s not enough that there’s a war going on and half of Congress is supporting the guy that’s doing the invading, or there’s massive labor disputes across the country, or there’s extreme weather crippling large sections of the country. You know what the House and Senate are wasting time on? The way Pennsylvania senator and guy who looks like a high school football coach that just called timeout, John Fetterman dresses. But if you listened to both sides of the debate this week, it is quite the stuff of pure insanity. Here’s the thing though – we live in the post COVID-19 world. No one is formal anymore. But one thing we absolutely don’t need right now is the people who support the mob that smeared poop on the walls during their invasion of Congress on January 6th complaining that Fetterman dresses. Yeah he dresses like if Kevin Smith were 2 feet taller, but we don’t want people like Marjorie Shit For Brains complaining that Fetterman is somehow lowering the bar. No, your side did that.

Democratic Sen. John Fetterman on Monday marveled at how people will freak out over the sanctity of the Senate dress code but demur at calling out Sen. Bob Menendez's alleged corruption as laid out by federal prosecutors.

"It is a strange world that I work in when someone will run into a burning building to save the virtue of the Senate over hoodies and shorts, but will simultaneously embrace gold bars in a mattress or envelopes stuffed with so much cash that would make the Goodfellas blush," Fetterman, a Pennsylvania Democrat, wrote in a text message to Semafor's Dave Weigel.

Fetterman is thus far the only Democratic senator to call for Menendez, a New Jersey Democrat, to resign in the wake of shocking corruption charges. A freshman Democrat, Fetterman's move came after New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy and other top officials in the state called on Menendez to step down after federal prosecutors accused the long-time politician and his wife of accepting "hundreds of thousands of dollars" in bribes in exchange for Menendez secretly helping the Egyptian government.
https://www.businessinsider.com/fetterman-menendez-corruption-allegations-cash-envelopes-goodfellas-2023-9

Well, he’s got a point there. Yeah we unfortunately won’t be covering the Bob Menendez fiasco this week but I will tell you that we will be getting to it when we come back on the 12th. But come on, MAGAs, if you’re going to complain about how Fetterman dresses, why not complain about how all men on the senate floor dress? Let’s go back to the days of powdered wigs and pantaloons! That will show them! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I love our graphics department! But there’s no mistake that the Fetterman dress code debacle is just another Fox News sponsored circular firing squad.

There's a lot for lawmakers to be stressed about these days, from the looming threat of a government shutdown to debates over additional funding for Ukraine. But one of the most divisive issues on Capitol Hill suddenly seems to be what senators can wear to work.

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer directed the Senate's sergeant-at-arms to stop enforcing its unwritten dress code — only for its 100 members — starting this week.

"Senators are able to choose what they wear on the Senate floor," he told Axios, which first reported the news. "I will continue to wear a suit."

That's prompted criticism from many Republicans, who say decorum is at stake. Several senators from both sides of the aisle have ditched their ties in recent days, while others vow they will not. And critics within and beyond Capitol Hill say the focus on fashion is overshadowing far more pressing issues.
https://www.npr.org/2023/09/21/1200549319/senate-dress-code-change-fetterman

Oh come on people, stop your rabbling! But again, we can’t emphasize enough that the party of January 6th doesn’t get to dictate whether or not the bar has been lowered. They lowered the bar past the bottom of the Marianus Trench! That’s the lowest point on earth, don’t you know? I mean come on, they smeared poop on the walls. Used Congressional offices as toilets. They smashed windows by zip lining. But yeah Fetterman wears a hoodie on the floor of the senate and everyone loses their damn minds! I can guarantee you that Kevin from Accounts Payable, who is complaining about Fetterman’s dress code on your Zoom call, most likely isn’t wearing pants. Yeah picture that image for a minute!

Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said Monday that staff for the chamber’s sergeant-at-arms will no longer be tasked with enforcing a dress code on the Senate floor.

With Congress debating a possible government shutdown and whether there should be age limits for lawmakers, the Senate's dress code change comes to mostly accommodate Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman, who unapologetically wears his trademark hoodies and shorts as does his duties. Fetterman often votes from doorways or sticks his head inside the chambers to avoid getting into trouble for his more casual wear.

"There has been an informal dress code that was enforced," Schumer said in a statement Monday, without mentioning Fetterman by name. "Senators are able to choose what they wear on the Senate floor. I will continue to wear a suit."

In response, Republican Sen. Susan Collins of Maine joked to reporters she planned to "wear a bikini" Tuesday. "I think there is a certain dignity that we should be maintaining in the Senate, and to do away with the dress code, to me, debases the institution," Collins said.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/09/19/senate-dress-code-john-fetterman-republicans/70898823007/

That is a good question because we don’t know! But one thing we do know is this is why John Fetterman is awesome. Because after suffering a stroke and going through a serious depression, he’s currently at the “I’m completely out of fucks to give” stage of his life. So yeah Kevin McCarthy, Marjorie Shit For Brains, and Lauren Beetlejuice Handy can complain that he’s lowering the bar all they want. But again, have you seen what happened on January 6th? That’s their side. But he’s loving that the GOP is losing their minds over this. It means he’s winning the debate.

"Jawn" Fetterman has spoken.

After the Senate quietly changed its dress code to allow the Pennsylvania senator to wear shorts and a hoodie, John Fetterman is offering to adhere to tradition after all - for a price.

He said as much in a colorful statement sent to the media on Wednesday.

"If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down, and fully support Ukraine, then I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week," Fetterman said in a press statement issued Wednesday.

Bills to avert a government shutdown have stalled in the House, as Republican Speaker Kevin McCarthy works to wrangle members of his party to some kind of agreement.
https://www.cbsnews.com/philadelphia/news/john-fetterman-senate-dress-code-government-shutdown-republicans/

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[font size="8"]Good Guys With Guns: Trump Visits A Gun Store
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You know the NRA always says that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, unless you’re in an elementary school in Texas where there were three hundred armed, bullet proofed police officers who were scared of getting shot . Look… look… look… OK say what you want about the American 2nd Amendment gun nutters, but this is definitely a new low for them. We realize that not everyone wants or even needs a gun. But we do have to admit that America’s gun nuts take it quite a bit further than gun nuts in other countries. And especially since the gun nuts have an attachment to that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, Donald J. Trump. While the rest of us are scared of daily mass shootings that happen in this country, that former president is not only taking things in the exact opposite direction, he’s probably going to be the inspiration for the next horrifying mass shooting that’s going to happen. And it will probably happen near the gun store where he had his bizarre photo op this week.

Former President Donald Trump stopped by a gun shop and toured a boat manufacturer in South Carolina Monday, ramping up his in-person campaign after a weekend online threatening the media, making multiple accusations of treason and urging congressional Republicans to go ahead and shut down the government.

He also claimed he could design a better fighter jet than the military.

The Republican presidential front-runner, who has spent far less time on the campaign trail than his leading rivals, began his trip to small-town Summerville with a meet-and-greet with volunteers at a local campaign office and a visit to a local gun store, where he admired a Glock handgun and posed for photos.

“I want to buy one,” Trump said, according to video of the stop.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/trump-campaigns-south-carolina-after-weekend-spent-issuing-103475243

OK I have many questions about this. The first is… why? The second is… what the fuck? Dude, you’re under criminal indictment for 4 felony counts and 91 charges, and you have 19 co-conspirators all connected to your crimes that have been indicted. The last thing you should be doing is buying a gun, because that’s a felony in and of itself and could land you some jail time. But of course, for the MAGA Taliban, this wasn’t just a photo opportunity. It was sending a message. And it’s not a message you’d want to receive, either. Nope, it’s a “do not fuck with us” kind of message.

A campaign spokesperson for Donald Trump clarified Monday that the ex-president did not purchase a Glock firearm during a visit to a gun store in South Carolina, after initially tweeting that he had.

Trump’s visit to the store came ahead of remarks he was set to deliver in Summerville, S.C., on Monday afternoon. Campaign spokesman Steven Cheung initially wrote on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, that the former president had purchased a Glock firearm.

Cheung also posted a video of Trump at the firearm store. In it, the former president points to a firearm and says, “I want to buy one.” Cheung’s video and a separate post by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) showed Trump posing with the gun.

Among those with Trump at the store included Greene and South Carolina Attorney General Alan Wilson (R), whose endorsement, along with 12 others, were touted by the Trump campaign earlier Monday.

But CNN reporter Alayna Treene later said the news outlet had confirmed Trump hadn’t bought the firearm. Cheung’s post on X has since been deleted.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4222060-trump-spokesperson-reverses-says-ex-president-didnt-buy-a-glock/

Yes that’s right – don’t fuck with the gun cult. The gun cult is a cult within a cult. It’s a subsection of Trump worshippers who also can’t stand the thought of losing their precious, precious guns. And by the way, slightly off topic, has anyone ever seen someone as desperately pathetic as Marjorie Greene is? I mean she has her lips firmly implanted on his ass in hopes that she’ll pick her as his running mate. I mean who wouldn’t want that job? Donnie’s got a gun… Wait a minute, Donnie’s got a gun? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! What’s even more disturbing – that particular gun that Trump wanted to purchase had his face on it! First off – what an ego on this guy. Second – fuck the gun manufacturer who made this.

The Trump campaign has reversed a claim that the former president purchased a firearm adorned with his face and name during a visit to South Carolina as it was suggested that such a move may have violated gun laws.

The 77-year-old's staff initially claimed that he had purchased the 9mm Glock pistol, which was allegedly $829, at a gun store during his visit to Columbia, South Carolina, as part of his campaign and uploaded a picture of him holding the weapon online.

The handgun was a special “Trump edition” that featured his image on the handle and the words “Trump 45” on the chamber, The Telegraph reported.

“I’m going to buy one. I want to buy one,” Trump said after looking at the gun. “Isn’t Glock a great gun?”
https://www.geo.tv/latest/511762-watch-donald-trump-poses-with-9mm-glock-with-his-face-on-it-in-south-carolina

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! What the actual fuck? It seems like a lot of major media outlets overlooked that detail. I mean what kind of sick fucking mind do you have to have to not only purchase, but also manufacture this particular gun? Holy crap this is seriously disturbing on multiple levels. What’s even more disturbing is why he chose that particular gun store to begin with. Yes, it wasn’t about the guns. It was about sending a “do not fuck with us” kind of message. In case you’re wondering if Summerville, South Carolina sounds familiar, it was where the Jacksonville Dollar Store shooter bought the guns used in that shooting. Holy shit.

When the Jacksonville shooting happened, Trump did not issue any statement on the tragedy. But you could argue that this campaign stop is a kind of tacit statement. He put the spotlight on Palmetto State Armory, praised its inventory, and tried to offer it business.

Palmetto State Armory has openly embraced far-right ideology. In 2020, it began marketing its products using imagery and language associated with the “boogaloo,” slang for racist violence and even a call for full-on race war. It has also come to mean war to topple the government.

The Jacksonville shooter shouldn’t have been able to buy the guns in the first place. He was held in Florida state custody in 2017 for mental health issues, disqualifying him from owning a gun under a statute called the Baker Act.

With so many eyeballs on Trump, Palmetto State Armory would never have gotten away with selling him a gun. But as Philadephia Inquirer columnist Will Bunch pointed out, the store “could sell an AR-15 to a young, mentally troubled white supremacist.”
https://www.yahoo.com/news/sick-racist-message-behind-why-160041585.html

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, I keep saying that we currently live in the darkest of times, and it’s probably only going to get darker. But this week, rather than rail on what’s in the news constantly, we’re going to do something a bit different. Supporters of the unholy, ungodly Dark One repeatedly make the claim that drag queens are attempting to sexualize our impressionable youth and also commit horrifying crimes while they’re not looking. Well, I got news for you. Of course, the Dark One is a man so foul, so profane and disgusting that his name DARE NOT be spoken in my church! So that being said, the flock, if you will, does everything they can to point out what the real issue is. They can point fingers and play the blame game all they want. While they’re pointing fingers at drag queens, the real problem is right under their noses. And they’re doing everything they can to protect themselves from the real problem. So we’re going to present to you a series of pastors and youth pastors getting arrested for sex crimes. And it’s going to get real dark real quick! Oh and the names will be omitted from these stories that follow, just to be on the safe side!

Two men were accused of sex crimes on underage victims, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.

Sheriff Chronsiter said that the two men “took advantage of our youth’s trust to prey on them.”

(omitted), 34, was arrested for sending at least two minors, ages 12 and 17, several text messages of harmful sexual material, between January 2023 and June 2023.

Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister said (omitted) would send the victim’s bible verses and then ask them questions including, “Are you sexually active?” and “Are you pregnant?”

“Things that no one should ever be asked, nonetheless a 12-year-old and a 17-year-old from a youth pastor,” Chronister said.
https://www.wfla.com/news/hillsborough-county/youth-pastor-softball-coach-arrested-for-sex-crimes-on-minors-deputies-say/

And yes, these are people who *SHOULD* feel bad about themselves. These are youth pastors, but they demean others because they are not Christian enough. And also, why am I not surprised in the least that this entry comes from Florida? It seems like anything goes in the Sunshine State. Oh, my fair congregation, I am here to tell you that this is not a uniquely Florida problem, either! It’s happening all over the country! In fact here’s one from Austin, Texas. Again, not a drag queen. And you know how we make jokes about someone having a hard drive or two of incriminating evidence? Well, it’s not so funny when they get caught!

A former Round Rock pastor was sentenced to 70 months in prison and 10 years probation for an enhanced charge of possession of child pornography, according to a news release from the U.S. Attorney's Office of the Western District of Texas.

David Lloyd Walther, 57, was a pastor of Faith Baptist Church in Round Rock when he was arrested in 2022. He was sentenced in a federal court in Austin on Wednesday, the release said. A judge also ordered him to pay $61,000 in restitution.

When authorities searched his home and car in November 2022, they found two large computer hard drives containing more than 100,000 images and more than 5,000 videos of child sexual abuse material, the release said.

It said he searched for, distributed and possessed child pornography using BitTorrent, a peer-to-peer file sharing network.“Many families in the Round Rock area placed their trust in this man when he served as a leader in faith for their community,” U.S. Attorney Jaime Esparza said in the news release.
https://www.statesman.com/story/news/crime/2023/09/21/round-rock-church-faith-baptist-pastor-david-walther-prison/70919982007/

And he’s also got some illegal accounts on some dark web sites that most people would need to use some browser filters that shall not be named for. Yes, we could do this all day, and in fact it’s the topic of our first brand new episode of Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons premiering this Sunday! Now here’s a story that comes out of Tennessee. Yes, again – we cannot emphasize this enough. This was not a drag queen that was arrested. Instead it was a traveling church speaker. Yes, churches invited this guy to speak at their churches. If he comes to your church – run!

An evangelist who calls the Blackman area home is facing a slew of charges that revolve around the rape of a child. (omitted) was taken into custody under a sealed indictment that was handed down by a Rutherford County Grand Jury.

According to court documents, (omitted) was charged with 5-counts of Aggravated Rape of a Child, 5-counts of Aggravated Sexual Battery of a Minor who was under the age of 13, 1-count of Soliciting Sexual Exploitation of a Minor who was under the age of 13, and 1-count of Continuous Sexual Abuse of a Child.

Prior to (omitted) arrest, he led church services in Texas, Tennessee, Florida, Alabama and Arkansas, just to name a few. The suspect spoke Spanish fluently and frequented Spanish speaking congregations, events and organizations. Over the past few years, (omitted) amassed thousands of views on YouTube and Facebook as a guest pastor, speaking at a variety of churches both large and small throughout the country.

The 32-year-old child rape suspect is currently behind bars in the Rutherford County Adult Detention Center in Murfreesboro. Garlick is being held under a $750-thousand-dollar bond, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The suspect was taken into custody this past Tuesday on September 12, 2023, which was the same day that his wife (omitted) was arrested.
https://www.wgnsradio.com/article/83231/evangelist-guest-pastor-at-a-variety-of-churches-arrested-on-multiple-rape-of-a-child-charges-in-murfreesboro

Again, I need to emphasize – not a drag queen! And these are all stories that have happened in the last week or so. Don’t think this won’t be the last time we do this for this segment, either, my fair congregation, because we definitely will! Remember what I said earlier about this phenomenon happening all over the country? Well guess what? It’s happening all over the world! These are the people who want to legislate morality. Even my home state of California is not immune! Look, people, don’t hook up with minors! Don’t even attempt to hook up with minors! Just… no! And by the way, this particular minor happened to be an undercover cop, so… HA!

A Fillmore minister and previous Oaks Christian School teacher has been charged with multiple felony counts relating to targeting a child for the purposes of sex, the Ventura County District Attorney’s office announced.

On July 17, the Ventura County Child Exploitation and Human Trafficking Task Force arrested Barry Fike, 67, following a sting operation in which he communicated online with what he believed to be a 15-year-old girl. The conversations were sexual in nature and (omitted) allegedly shared explicit photos of himself with the victim, who was actually an undercover officer.

(omitted) is a Fillmore resident and a minister at Fillmore Church of Christ, the DA said. He previously taught at Oaks Christian High School in Westlake Village and has been a visiting professor at Pepperdine University, but doesn’t currently teach there. His past residences include Woodland Hills, Oak Park, Ventura, Simi Valley and Thousand Oaks.

District Attorney Erik Nasarenko announced charges against (omitted) that include sending harmful matter to a child, felony communicating with a child with the intent to commit a sexual act, and arranging a meeting with a minor for a lewd purpose. (omitted) pleaded not guilty to the charges at a July 19 arraignment.
https://www.mpacorn.com/articles/minister-and-former-oaks-christian-teacher-charged-in-child-sex-sting/

So who do you really want to leave your children alone with – drag queens or youth pastors? I think I know the answer to that one! Don’t forget that season 2 of Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons debuts this Sunday at 4:00 PM! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing: The Ron DeSantis Campaign
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It's time once again to ask:



This week – the Ron DeSantis Presidential Campaign. How is this still a thing? We’ve seen presidential campaigns come and go on this program, but it seems that none have taken a nose dive more than the reigning king of Florida Men – Ron DeSantis (Q – Batshit). So Ron DeSantis is having, what one might call, a bit of a free fall in the polls. The thing is that the GOP is now the party of Trump whether they want to admit it or not. He owns that party. But one thing is for certain is that Fox News’ ideas are wildly unpopular outside of Fox News. And both Trump and Ron DeSantis are running to essentially be president of Fox News viewers. Yes, they trash the network now, but you know damn well that Trump won’t turn down the next 10,000,000 nightly appearances on Sean Hannity. Anyway it’s apparent that the Desantis campaign is dwindling, and soon he’ll be regulated to opening for children’s petting zoos and puppet shows.

CNN anchor Chris Wallace told CNN anchor Abby Phillip that a new CNN poll of New Hampshire is “good news for Trump” and bad news for a pair of rivals — ex-Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) and Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL).

CNN created a lot of buzz earlier this month with a poll that was chock full of negative data points about President Joe Biden — including public opinion about his age and a slim national edge — within the margin of error — for Trump.

But a new CNN poll of New Hampshire shows considerably better news for the president — a 12-point lead over Trump and a much more solid hold on Democrats than Trump has on Republicans in the state

But the poll also showed Trump dominating the GOP field, and even drawing significant support in head-to-heads between Biden and the other Republicans.

On Wednesday night’s edition of CNN Primetime, Wallace said the poll was an indication of Trump’s strength — and waning hope for Christie and DeSantis:
https://www.mediaite.com/news/chris-wallace-says-new-cnn-early-state-poll-good-news-for-trump-but-desantis-is-in-real-trouble/

Attention mass media: We don’t want a second term of Trump! Stop trying to make this a thing! He is a criminal who tried to overthrow the government and install a fascist dictatorship. He belongs in a federal prison along with his enablers in Congress! OK now that we’ve got that off our chest, there’s no mistake that the GOP is the party of Trump. But in case you’re wondering just how much Trump leads the GOP – it’s a lot. Which is not to say that the GOP is the party of murderers, criminals, rapists, and overall scumbags. But in the case of Trump vs Desantis, well, make no mistake that Trump is unfortunately going to win in a landslide in the primaries.

Former President Trump’s lead is expanding in the GOP primary field, with the front-runner now leading his GOP rivals by more than 40 points in a new poll.

An NBC News poll released Sunday showed he has 59 percent of likely support among Republican primary voters, while Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis had 16 percent support. Former United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley had 7 percent; former Vice President Mike Pence and former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie registered 4 percent each.

Trump’s recent legal battles do not appear to hinder his lead in the GOP primary field. The poll shows Trump’s lead has expanded since June, when an NBC News survey showed Trump ahead of DeSanits by 29 points — 51 percent to 22 percent — following his indictment for mishandling classified documents after he left office.

Since the June poll, Trump has been charged in two additional cases, including in Washington, D.C., over the former president’s attempts to stay in power after the 2020 election and in Fulton County, Ga., for an alleged scheme to overturn the 2020 election results.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4220518-trump-leads-gop-primary-field-by-40-points-in-new-poll/

Yes, Trump lost, and he’ll lose again. But we can’t deny that it’s having an affect on other GOP campaigns, such as that of Ron DeSantis. But come on, the election is now just a mere 12 months away, and we’ve got to get our shit together, man! We can’t let fascism win! Of course, as awful and horrible of a human being as Trump is, and most of his supporters are, most of the people running in the primaries are running to be his running mate. But there’s no way Desantis even stands a chance in hell of that. Again, his ideas are wildly unpopular outside of the talk show bubble.

The campaign reboots haven't worked. Gov. Ron DeSantis continues to drop in the polls. Now the second GOP presidential primary debate is approaching on Wednesday, and a big question is whether it even matters.

Is there anything DeSantis can do at this point to change the dynamic in a race where former President Donald Trump's lead grows more daunting with each new poll?

Many Republicans thought DeSantis did well in the first debate. A poll of GOP debate watchers showed DeSantis was viewed as one of the winners.

It didn't matter. Trump has continued to expand his lead,

A Quinnipiac University survey released Sept. 13 had Trump up by 50 percentage points nationally, an incredible margin.
https://www.heraldtribune.com/story/news/politics/elections/2023/09/22/ron-desantis-keeps-dropping-in-polls-as-second-gop-debate-approaches/70895032007/

Yes BOOOOOOOOOO!!! So whether your preferred brand of right wing fascism is far right extreme fascism (Trump), fascism adjacent (Desantis), or fascism light (Ramaswamy), there’s no denying that the GOP is up to some extreme corruption. But we’re about to see another one bite the dust as there’s still time for Ronnie to have his “please clap” moment. That’s what happens when you let cable news and AM radio call in shows do your critical thinking for you. But until Ronnie drops out of the race, it’s going to be Desantis vs Trump in the GOP primary. And it’s not going to be pretty by any stretch of the imagination.

The 2024 Republican presidential primary campaign is increasingly looking like a coronation — in no small part thanks to the implosion of Donald Trump’s would-be usurper, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.

New polling this week lays bare just how poorly things have gone for the governor. While DeSantis arguably remains the biggest of the minor hurdles Trump needs to clear, his electoral case has effectively collapsed alongside his poll numbers.

Two national polls from Fox News and Quinnipiac University show Trump expanding his lead over second-place DeSantis to 47 and 50 points, respectively.

Those are Trump’s largest margins to date in high-quality national polling of the race. And thus his lead in the FiveThirtyEight polling average has expanded to a whopping 41 points. Seven months ago, before DeSantis announced his campaign, he had crawled to within just two points of Trump.

https://wapo.st/45Qzi2t

So going from bad to worse in the primaries and the GOP base won’t accept anyone who’s not Trump as the nominee. That’s enough to make you ask – the Ron DeSantis Presidential Campaign:




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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Missing F35 Fighter Jet
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! So this week, folks, you might have heard about an incident involving an F35 fighter jet that went missing over the coast of South Carolina last week. Well, before we get into it, this incident is absolutely weird and insane. But that didn’t stop the dark corners of the internet from making some absolute wild accusations and conspiracy theories. But before we get into the theories themselves, we got to explain what happened. And it’s quite the strange tale. And like most tales that we feature on this segment, it gets weirder the more you look into it!

A South Carolina couple had been celebrating their son's 7th birthday on Sunday afternoon when they looked to the skies. A fighter jet was flying above them in an "inverted" position, they said, before they heard a "boom" moments later.

"Our kids always give a little salute, so we said, 'Look at the plane. Oh my gosh, it's so low,'" Adrian Truluck said. "And it was kind of probably 100 feet above the tree tops, and almost going inverted."

"It was probably three quarters of the way," added her husband, Stephen Truluck, as he gestured with his hand. "We could see the canopy" of the plane.

They didn't think much of it at the time, they said, because Shaw Air Force Base is about 60 miles away. But after learning an F-35 fighter jet had gone missing — and that a debris field was found Monday just miles from their home in rural Williamsburg County — they realized what they saw likely wasn't just any aircraft.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/missing-f-35-jet-was-flying-inverted-crash-eyewitnesses-say-rcna105794

That’s the actual story. It was a computer error and the pilot was able to safely eject before the jet had crashed. Now, that didn’t stop the conspiracy theories and accusations from flying in the dark corners of the internet. Yes, we’re talking Alex Jones and Steve Bannon level crazy. They couldn’t help themselves from making some incredibly baseless conspiracy theories against the military. So you might be wondering why the pilot escaped from the jet as it was about to crash? Remember what we said about it being a “computer error”? Well it’s a bit more complicated than that.

On Sunday afternoon, an F35 jet flying over South Carolina seemingly disappeared after the pilot put the aircraft on autopilot and ejected from it. The pilot reportedly parachuted to a neighborhood in North Charleston.

Debris from the jet were later found in a rural area near Williamsburg County, where it crashed, as per the BBC. Following the crash, authorities were initially searching for the F35 jet in the Lake Moultrie and Lake Marion regions. However, as per officials, it was found "two hours north-east of Joint Base Charleston."

The distance between the crash site and the aircraft's last known location has now raised questions about why the pilot had to eject himself out of the aircraft and could not land it safely instead, given that the jet continued to remain airborne and go a significant distance before it crashed. Many also wondered if the F35 jet was hacked, or operated remotely.
https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/news-why-pilot-eject-f35-conspiracy-claims-emerge-wake-mishap

Now that we explained what happened, we have to explain what didn’t happen. Here’s where conspiracy theories get crazy and they lose us. OK why the hell would someone make the insane claim that it was on its’ way to Cuba undetected? Like what the actual fuck? Was it on its’ way to assassinate Castro? Or maybe give it a trillion dollars? But this is one of those instances where people have way too much free time on their hands, and the internet has given the craziest among us a megaphone with which to amplify their craziness!

Not surprisingly there was much mockery on social media with memes that saw the jet on the side of milk cartons and missing posters, while others even asked "Dude, Where is My F-35."

While those posts weren't taken seriously, others begin to speculate that the jet had flown to Cuba with Chinese assistance. That quickly became the center of a wild conspiracy theory, and some didn't apparently think it to be a joke, even as it makes no sense.

"If it had gotten all the way to Cuba it would have been high enough to be picked up on the radar," explained Dr. Matthew J. Schmidt, associate professor of national security and political science at the University of New Haven.

The aircraft is not actually invisible to radar, but rather is noted for its small radar signature. The current theory from actual aviation experts is that the aircraft crashed under foliage or is now underwater in one of the lakes in the region.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/petersuciu/2023/09/18/social-medias-wild-conspiracy-theory-the-missing-f-35-flew-to-cuba/?sh=48742d921a86

Dude, where’s my F35? Come on, that joke was barely funny in 1999. It certainly isn’t funny in the year 2023, that I can assure you. But once again, you know how we always say that Fox News ruins everything, of course we don’t need the 37 year old grandma making baseless accusations that the military is too “woke”. That shit definitely isn’t helping things. And this is why we need to get these people out of Congress. Like really? That’s what your position on this is? But I shouldn’t really be surprised – that seems to be the answer from the right about everything these days.

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert weighed in on the issue of a missing F-35 fighter jet by branding military leaders as too focused on "woke ideology."

"The military is asking for the public’s help in finding an F-35 jet that went missing," she complained on Twitter after the jet went missing. "We’re talking about an $80,000,000 jet."

She added: "This is what happens when military leaders are more focused on woke ideology than actually running a competent military."

The military is currently searching for a jet believed to have crashed after a pilot parachuted to safety into a North Charleston neighborhood yesterday. The public has been asked for help in searching for the jet, as authorities said they were searching near two South Carolina lakes following a "mishap."

Her recent outburst garnered her further criticism from some as she has face pressure this week over her behaviour in a theatre in Denver. She was thrown out after she fondled her new flame - he did the same in return - and was then caught vaping, dancing and putting her hands in the air during a performance of Beetlejuice.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/missing-f-35-fighter-jet-30971665

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey folks, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!



So of course you know by now that the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. There is a lot of really dark shit in the news right now, and we feel that the best reprieve from it all is to belly up to the bar, grab a nice cold pint, and wait for this whole thing to blow over! Don’t worry, my sober brothers and sisters, we got you covered too. Just grab a glass of your favorite coffee, tea, or energy drink and come and get wired with us! So this week, you may have seen a story that went viral from a New York Times columnist named David Brooks. If you’re on that site formerly known as Twitter, you may have seen the tweet that said “This meal just cost me $78 at the Newark Airport. No wonder Americans think the economy is so terrible.”. Tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about economic inflation? A cheeseburger and a shot of whisky? How much does that cost? $78? Get outta here! I’ll just have my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. But this story is absolutely insane, and it’s one of the reasons why we do love living in the social media era here. Because people did have some fun with this and it’s also why we love us some memes.

If you’ve been to an airport and eaten a meal while waiting for your flight, you know that the prices at the restaurants aren’t the cheapest.

New York Times columnist David Brooks decided to make that the issue of the day on Twitter (X) earlier in the week, with a photo showing a sad-looking burger and fries, plus a beverage that looked like it was alcoholic, and declaring: “This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.”

The post was already getting dunked on, but the owners of the Newark Airport restaurant that served him noted on Facebook that the “bar tab was almost 80 percent” of the meal.

Now, there’s a new meme making fun of this, and it’s quite hilarious:
https://ftw.usatoday.com/lists/newark-airport-meal-david-brooks-expensive-meme

Now that will cost $78 at Newark Airport. But of course, like most things that go viral, it backfired on Brooks spectacularly. Hell, remember the last time that backfired on someone? I believe it involved someone claiming that their box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch contained shrimp in it (see: Idiots #10-9 ). And I guess the moral of the story here is that if you’re going to say something ridiculously stupid, you might want to think twice about it before hitting that post button. Because if you do and it goes viral and it comes back to bite you in the ass, it’s a tale as old as time itself.

While having a meal at the Newark airport in New Jersey, New York Times columnist, David Brooks, was annoyed with the cost of the food and posted a picture of his alleged $78 meal and criticized the American economy.

Brooks' tweet went viral and it was soon found out that the restaurant was a black-owned establishment named 1911 Smoke House Barbecue.

The restaurant themselves took to Facebook to take a shot at Brooks by stating that more than 80% of the meal cost was the bar tab. They later released a D. Brooks meal mocking the columnist.

Netizens rolled their eyes at Brooks' Newark airport meal and started computing the actual meal prices, only to arrive at the conclusion that the alcohol was to blame. This was made into a meme.
https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/bar-tab-almost-80-black-owned-newark-airport-restaurant-calls-david-brooks-complains-meal-price

I don’t think the bottle is big enough! But how much is this tab running us? Somehow I think it’s going to be way more than $78! But everyone from the restaurant themselves that was charging $21 for the David Brooks special – a cheeseburger, fries, and a shot of whisky for $25 (a hell of a deal for airport food if you ask me!), and there were tons of people making fun of the tweet. But my favorite tweet had to come from Pennsylvania senator and your hot yoga instructor’s hot yoga instructor, John Fetterman, who made the claim that his hoodie cost $78. But come on people, learn to take a damn joke every once in a while!

A restaurant at Newark Airport has had the last laugh after New York Times columnist David Brooks claimed to have been charged $78 for a burger and fries - but failing to mention the alcoholic drinks that made up much of his bill.

Earlier this week, Mr Brooks posted a picture of his meal at New Jersey-based 1911 Smoke House Barbeque on X, formerly Twitter, with the caption: “This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.”

1911 Smoke House later clarified that “80 per cent” of Mr Brooks’ tab came from multiple shots of whisky.

The exchange was widely shared on social media with author Joyce Carol Oates, Senator John Fetterman and actor George Takei weighing in.

1911 Smoke House has now capitalized on its viral moment by offering customers the “D Brooks Special” of a burger, fries and double shot of whiskey for $17.78 – the original price of the food.
https://sg.news.yahoo.com/nyt-columnist-david-brooks-trolled-203743800.html

Yeah just dump the whole bottle in the blender! But come on people, learn to take a joke every once in a while. I thought we learned that with the Cinnamon Toast Shrimp incident, did we not? At least it’s not landing David Brooks on a sex offender watch list. Yeah that happened. But at least he apologized for the incident but that’s not before the damage was done. Again, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve seen this countless times with tweets that go viral. If you’re going to post a message that could get out in the open, keep in mind that we do live on the internet. There’s no such thing as a take back no matter what happens.

New York Times columnist David Brooks finally addressed the now-infamous tweet that made him the main character on Twitter/X for a couple of days this week.

On Wednesday night, Brooks tweeted a photo of his meal at Newark Liberty International Airport. It showed a burger, fries, and a glass of what appeared to be brown liquor.

“This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport,” he wrote. “This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.”

Brooks, a right-of-center millionaire caught flak online immediately. The backlash was so bad, the tweet was inundated with “Community Notes.” He even took incoming from the restaurant in question.

“Looks like someone was knocking back some serious drinks — bar tab was almost 80% and he’s complaining about the cost of his meal. Keep drinking, buddy — we get paid off everything,” the establishment posted online.
https://www.mediaite.com/tv/i-screwed-up-david-brooks-addresses-airport-tweet-that-got-him-roasted-into-oblivion/

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[font size="8"]My Governor Is An Idiot Round 1: Whitmer Vs Sanders

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to the first round of our new segment, My Governor Is An Idiot! In case you’re wondering, this was inspired by a bumper sticker that we see frequently here in the great state of California – a sticker of Gavin Newsom with the phrase “My governor is an idiot”. But is he / she really an idiot like the sticker claims? Well that’s what we intend to find out. This segment is going to pit blue state governors against red state governors to find the best and worst governors in the country! This week in Round 1, we’re putting Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer against Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

[font size="4"]Whitmer[/font]

Gretchen Whitmer is the governor of the great state of Michigan. You might remember her from the good old days of September, 2020 when a group of what could quite possibly be the stupidest criminals of all time attempted to kidnap her in an effort to reverse the COVID lockdown policies (see: Idiots #9-14 ). But when it comes to policy, Whitmer has turned the great state of Michigan into the Democratic Party stronghold of the Midwest. And why not? Because Michigan really is turning a very bright shade of blue and that’s a good thing!

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and Michigan Democrats are set to flex their legislative muscles this week.

Why it matters: Following eight months of implementing liberal reform under an entirely Democratic government, Whitmer will use her "What's Next" address Wednesday in Lansing to call on legislative leaders to pass reforms for the second half of the year.

Typically the governor would outline the yearlong agenda during her State of the State address, but Whitmer is set to make a second address this year for the first time since she's been in office.
Driving the news: Paid family leave, a clean energy standard that would require Michigan to source 100% of its energy from carbon-free sources, more laws to protect elections and codification of the Affordable Care Act are among proposals outlined in documents the governor's office shared with Axios.

State of play: Up to 1 million employees could get more time off should lawmakers expand the state's paid leave requirements.

"It is a sad reality that paid leave is completely out of reach for too many Michigan families today, especially folks who are Black, brown and low-income," Aisha Wells of Mothering Justice, a local nonprofit dedicated to uplifting women of color, told Michigan Advance this year after similar paid leave bills were introduced by Sen. Erika Geiss (D-Taylor).




https://www.axios.com/local/detroit/2023/08/29/gov-whitmer-whats-next-address-paid-leave-clean-energy

Pfff…. Come on, who wouldn’t want things like clean energy and paid family leave? I think that’s something even the “NO FREE HANDOUTS!!!” party would want, but nope. Conservatives, like the festering psychopaths that they are, continue to hold back even the slightest bit of progress. And in case you’re wondering how we can start flipping states from batshit crazy back to being more sane, Whitmer has provided a blueprint for the rest of the country. Michigan is definitely a good example of how states can be brought back from teetering over the edge into right wing insanity land.

That was an obviously unstable pairing. The Republicans failed to gather enough signatures to get their top two choices on the gubernatorial ballot, and wound up nominating a conservative media personality named Tudor Dixon. After the Dobbs decision, Dixon was asked about a hypothetical case in which a fourteen-year-old victim of incest would not be able to get an abortion. She called this the “perfect example” of why it had been correct to overturn Roe; the statement soon became the centerpiece of an avalanche of pro-Whitmer ads. Some fact checkers in Michigan concluded that the Democrats had taken Dixon’s quote out of context, but Whitmer saw an opportunity.

“I remember thinking, I can’t believe this,” Whitmer said. “For the first month after she won the primary, that’s all we communicated on.” Whitmer had been preparing for a post-Roe campaign since the night that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, in September, 2020. Her administration had already sued to force the state Supreme Court to clarify whether a 1931 Michigan law banning abortion would go into effect if Roe were overturned. The court ruled that it would not, but the decision was open to appeal. In response, the Governor’s liberal allies launched a campaign to include on the November ballot a question about establishing a state constitutional right to abortion. Whitmer held roundtables across the state. “It was one of those things where we always said that the overwhelming majority of people support reproductive rights, but who’s really polled it, right?” she said. Now, she went on, women were seated next to her, saying, “ ‘I’ve never voted for a Democrat, but I’m out knocking on doors for you.’ ” In the fall, the amendment passed by thirteen points, three more than Whitmer’s own double-digit victory. Whitmer said, “I do think we built a different kind of coalition than Democrats have relied on before.”
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/07/24/how-gretchen-whitmer-made-michigan-a-democratic-stronghold

[font size="4"]Sanders[/font]

Next up, we have Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders! You might remember her as being the official White House Press Corps leader under that guy who we inexplicably used to call president administration. She is the daughter of former Arkansas governor and current Fox News host and contributor Mike Huckabee. And in case you’re wondering, the fact that she is anywhere in a position of power not only is a sign of a broken country, but also that half of the country is clinically batshit insane and not coming back to reality anytime soon. In fact her first 100 days are filled with some absolutely embarrassing contributions, including legalizing child labor.

Former White House press secretary Sarah Sanders' first 100 days as the new governor of Arkansas has just wrapped up and it was a portrait of "embarrassing" social media "fumbles" and a concerted effort to hurt poor people in her state.

According to an analysis and compilation of Sanders' lowlights by Salon's Rae Hodge, it has been a rocky start for the daughter of former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

When it comes to the new governor pushing her agenda through the Republican Party-dominated legislature, Hodge referred to the Austin Bailey and Lindsey Millar of the Arkansas Times who wrote, "Saying it's the worst session ever feels trite, too flip to capture the brutality heaped on all but the wealthiest and most insulated."

They added, "A pliable legislature stomped on the poor, indulged the rich and threw teachers, librarians, children and trans people under the bus, all because the MAGA governor told them to."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/gov-sarah-sanders-first-100-days-were-filled-with-embarrassing-fumbles-as-she-stomped-on-the-poor-analyst/ar-AA1ayvnz

Yeah so vote Republican if you don’t give a shit about being poor, or you don’t care about poor people, or you want your kids to work in shitty, poorly ventilated warehouses for shit pay and no benefits. And for your kids to get married at 17 and have no way to buy a house or even provide for these families that the religious nutjobs so desperately want them to have. All while the mega billionaires just keep piling on the billions. And by way, in case you’re wondering how dangerous these people are, just remember that this vile woman could be a vice president under a GOP rule. And that’s an absolutely scary thought!

Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders (R) signed into law this week legislation that rolls back significant portions of the state’s child labor protections.

The law eliminates requirements for the state to verify the age of children younger than 16 before they can take a job.

Sanders believes the provision was “burdensome and obsolete,” spokeswoman Alexa Henning said in an emailed statement. Remaining state and federal regulations are still in effect, she said. Sanders signed the Republican-backed bill on Tuesday.

Federal officials have pledged to crack down on child labor law offenses after regulators discovered hundreds of violations in meatpacking plants and after press reports emerged of children working in hazardous occupations around the country.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/03/08/huckabee-sanders-arkansas-child-labor/

[font size="4"]Who’s The Idiot? [/font]

Oh come on, did you really think we were going to pick Whitmer? No we’re going with the asshole who legalized child labor in front of a group of really scared looking children. Sarah Sanders is the clear idiot in this picture!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

Next week it’s a battle for the real Rocky Mountain High as Colorado governor Jared Polis takes on Montana’s body slamming governor Greg Gianforte! This is going to be a fun one!


[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Arctic Monkeys [/font]

Folks, my next guest is one of the best bands out of the UK right now. Their latest album is called “The Car”. You can see their last 3 shows of this tour at the Kia Forum in Los Angeles, Sept. 29th, 30th, and Oct. 1st! Playing their song “Body Paint”, give it up for Arctic Monkeys!

Thank you, Austin! We had a great time here! We’re taking a short break next week, we’ll be back October 12th with a brand new edition live from New York City! See you in two weeks!

Credits

Host: Initech
Arctic Monkeys Appear Courtesy Of: Domino Recording Co. Ltd.
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, TX
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