BREAKING NEWS: Facing charges, Giuliani turns self in at Six Flags Over Georgia
After being indicted in Georgia for allegations of election interference in that state, former New York City Mayor and Donald Trump legal advisor Rudy Giuliani attempted to surrender himself today to officials at the security guard office for Six Flags Over Georgia, an amusement park located approximately 15 minutes outside of Atlanta.
“Hello? Hello?” Giuliani could be heard over the security office’s closed-circuit surveillance system. “I’m here to turn myself in.”
While Atlanta District Attorney Fani Willis gave Giuliani and the 18 other defendants charged in the indictment until Friday, August 25th to surrender themselves to state law enforcement for processing, Giuliani jumped on the opportunity to attempt an alternate arrangement.
“They told me I had to turn myself into the authorities down here in Georgia,” Giuliani said. “Well, you guys have badges and s__t, right? Hell, I figured if I had to do this, might as well do it at some place fun.”
“I bought myself one of those fast passes to help speed things along,” he added. “Best $85 I ever spent. There’s that Batman stunt show I want to check out when this is all done. Don’t want to miss that!”
Six Flags security personnel were reportedly miffed at Giuliani’s request, but attempted to humor the former mayor as best as possible.
For example, when Giuliani asked whether he would have to pose for a mugshot, security enlisted the help of a nearby caricature artist, who promptly drew up a whimsical portrayal which featured Giuliani with a cartoonishly large head riding a unicycle and holding an ice cream cone.
Finally, after “processing” Giuliani, security personnel presented him with a Bugs Bunny plush toy and told him he was free to go.
Giuliani, however, had one more request.
“Can you tell me what place around here sells those soft pretzels?” he asked. “Because between you, me, and the moon here, I am famished!”
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Ohhh nohhhh. Drunk again?
BTW. Great material.
