She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Democrat."

[bigtree]

RC deWinter @RCdeWinter
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.

She shouted to him: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Democrat."

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information. Frankly, you haven’t been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are — or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. Sounds about right!

[dchill]

2. Tasty!

[AllaN01Bear]

3. hehehe.

[Joinfortmill]

4. This!!!!

[DBoon]

5. I heard a variant of this decades ago

It involved a lost airplane pilot, who circled an office building and shouted "where are we?" to a man by an open window. The man answered back, "you're up in the air"

After which the pilot made a perfect landing.

The pilot knew the man was in the IBM building because he gave an answer that was technically true but completely useless.

[eppur_se_muova]

6. I heard that as Microsoft. nt

[treestar]

12. Also a variant about a lawyer

on the ground.

The Lost Ballonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon when he realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man in a field below. He lowers the balloon toward the man and shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I am late to meet a friend, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "I'm happy to help. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
After a brief pause, the balloonist declares: "You must be a lawyer."
"I am" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responds, "Indeed. And you ... You must be a client."
"Why, yes, I am," replies the balloonist, "how in the world did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

googling that, it seems that every profession has a version of this!

[Major Nikon]

7. Mertzon, TX

[PurgedVoter]

8. Then she crashed the balloon on the boat crushing and suffocating the man in the boat

She of course got a spinal injury during the fall signaled for help and sued the man who saved her and got a huge settlement. After she went into politics she made sure no one could ever get such a settlement again, even if it were justified.

I realize this isn't funny, but Greg Abbott isn't funny either.

[iluvtennis]

9. Perfect! n/t

[GLBTS]

10. My late wife was a member: she sent me this years ago:

[LetMyPeopleVote]

26. Welcome to DU

[gopiscrap]

30. welcome to DU

[FakeNoose]

11. Somehow it's always a Democrat's fault, just ask any Repuke

[lefthandedskyhook]

13. So true

Spot on, sadly accurate and well written... also very funny!

[UTUSN]

14. K&R

[turbinetree]

15. That is so classic......spot on.....

[paleotn]

16. Well said.

[burrowowl]

17. LOL!

But too true, so sad.

[elleng]

18. "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are,

due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

[calimary]

20. That's a perfect description of pretty much any Republican.

ANY Republican.

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are — or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

[liberalla]

19. Good one!

[Aussie105]

21. Republicans will never change.

Not until they develop some introspective intelligence, and work out that THEY are the problem.

Oh, and maybe stop looking for who to blame for their own faults - that would help too.

Please file this post under #NotGonnaHappen!

[Arthur_Frain]

22. Always loved this one.

nt

[jg10003]

23. 25 years ago it was an engineer and a sales manager.

[czarjak]

24. All I know is the rich republicans are saving seven million dollars over ten years thanks to...

TAX REFORM. Pauly made sure.

[Hortensis]

25. "but now it's MY fault." Most "lost" people seem to prefer that conclusion.

[Blue Owl]

27. K&R

[paulkienitz]

28. it was originally a joke about managers and engineers

[malaise]

29. Hehehe

Perfect😀