Tiedrich: Jim Jordan just can't stop fucking that chicken

[geardaddy]

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/jim-jordan-just-cant-stop-fucking?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1162742&post_id=134590857&isFreemail=true&utm_medium=email

one thing you can say about shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan is that is always quite willing to make an utter fool of himself.

you could call it a compulsion.

fresh off the news that he and James Comer have been getting cozy with a Chinese spy, Jordan wasted everyone’s time with another one of his famous clownshoes hearings yesterday.

you already know how it went, because all of these hearings follow the same template: Jordan huffs and puffs and waves his arms and shouts and points his fingers and makes wild allegations that have no bearing on reality, and then when it’s the Democrats’ turn to speak, they fucking demolish everything that just came out of Gym’s mouth — because Jordan is a gibbering loon, and the Dems come armed with actual facts.

snip

the victim of yesterday’s hearing was FBI Director Christopher Wray.


House Republicans have had their knives out for Wray for a long time, because Wray is right at the center of one of their oldest and most-cherished conspiracy theories. it goes likes this:

a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI conspired with Hillary and Ukraine to lose her own election so that Trump could become president so that Christopher Wray and the deep state could take Trump him down.

no, seriously. this is their gospel.

now take that nugget of dipshittery and throw in a bunch of covid nonsense and Hunter Biden’s penis, and you’ve pretty much got yesterday’s hearing in a nutshell.

Long read, but worth it. Take a look at the Democratic responses in the videos at the link.

[Beakybird]

1. There's no link

[geardaddy]

3. Thanks, fixed

[dweller]

2. Link ?

✌🏻

[geardaddy]

4. Thanks, fixed

[CurtEastPoint]

5. and here's the origin of that useful phrase

[geardaddy]

6. LOL

I wonder where that came from!

[CurtEastPoint]

7. You can't tell on this shit copy but the woman on the left...her eyes about popped out!

[geardaddy]

8. LOL

[Mad_Machine76]

9. Wray seemed to do a good job

challenging the GOPers' persistent wild fantasies. The problem with the GQP is that they see conspiracies everywhere and will NEVER be placated no matter how much evidence is released that refutes them. The only way to deal with them seems to be electorally defeating them before they cause too much damage.

[Hortensis]

10. And FBI Director Wray, who spent five hours

calmly shooting down their lies and allegations with truth.

I liked him calling the accusations that he was attacking conservatives insane given his background. He stopped short of pointing of stating he’s conservative himself, but no doubt sure that at a few points he and others pointed out that Donald Trump appointed him and the Republican senators confirmed them.

[Blue Owl]

11. K&R

[underpants]

12. Don't want to subscribe but he nailed it.

a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI conspired with Hillary and Ukraine to lose her own election so that Trump could become president so that Christopher Wray and the deep state could take Trump him down.

[StClone]

13. I have to disagree on "fucking that chicken."

I wish Tiedrich would be serious and stick to convention and not creatively toss out a fowl phrase like "fucking that chicken." When the old equine meme is perfectly apt of "fucking that dead horse" would work nicely.

[robbob]

16. Actually I looked up the origins of that phrase

which is alluded to by a poster above, with a link to the hilarious on-air broadcast of it (on a Fox News affiliate channel, no less) and it’s pretty hilarious!

[StClone]

21. Link

That sounds funny I could go for that!

[StClone]

23. Since I refuse to "Age register with YouTube"

I got this written link: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Keep%20fucking%20that%20chicken

[Ilsa]

17. Well, originally Jim Comey was supposed to take down

the IRG (Insurrectionist Rapist Guy). But IRG got to him first, even leaving him stranded in CA without his FBI jet just to be petty.

[TheBlackAdder]

14. It's the only thing that makes him seem large.

[geardaddy]

15. Oh snap!

[calimary]

18. I think the term "half-dressed" should be applied to him CONSTANTLY.

EVERY time his name comes up or he’s referred to, make an issue out of it.

EVERY time. Where’s yer jacket, son?

It’s a signature he seems to have come up with because in all the time he’s whored for news coverage, I’ve only seen him fully-dressed, WITH jacket ON, at some large publicly-covered church service (some VIP’s fu real I think). Otherwise, never.

Forget something, dude? Why don’t you ever dress properly? This is CONGRESS (or whatever distinguished locale) for Pete’s sake.

Mom didn’t tell you how to dress properly for such an important job?

Nobody taught you how to dress appropriately for business? Were you born in a barn or something?

[geardaddy]

19. Exactly!

Remember when all the Goopers were apoplectic about how they thought Fetterman would be dressing in his usual casual attire?

[calimary]

24. Yep. Sure do.

[NowISeetheLight]

25. Cover Up

He loaned his jacket to cover up some of those molested wrestlers....

[TrollBuster9090]

20. Fox News Guy: "It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast."

Fox Weather Guy: "I guess that's me!"

Fox News Guy: "Keep fuckin' that chicken!"

Fox News Woman: ---GAK!---

Fox Weather Guy: ---WTF--

That awesome reference wasn't lost on me. Next to the Norwegian news woman blowing an air biscuit at the end of the nightly news, that's my favorite news moment.

[geardaddy]

22. I was unaware of the origin of that until CurtEastPoint

posted the video:
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=18085860

[Kid Berwyn]

26. Whole story: "Jim Jordan just can't stop fucking that chicken"

These NAZIs in Congress and the Supreme Court are in deep shit, along with their Fuehrer.

[Historic NY]

27. He better at choking the chicken in the boys showers.