Remembering this Russian Polish Jew we talked at pub called E.K.U. in Butzbach West Germany
Where I think I’m going with this dyslexic ramble is my hatred for the anti vaccine or Covid it’s a hoax types that surround us in every day life. Liz passed from long term Covid side effects question is would she have contracted Covid if the response to the pandemic was handled differently don’t know are these anti vax morons responsible for her death no not at all.
What I do know that Liz’s reality after her 2020 infection and spending six weeks in hospital and rehab combined in 2020 because of Covid and pneumonia. And for the next two and half years she suffered her lungs were wrecked shortness of breath constantly fighting off chest infections.
So I’m sitting in this bar in Butzbach West Germany called EKU winter 86-87, I caught P.C.S. out of Bragg and was assigned to first brigade of the 3rd armor I ended up in 2/36 infantry up at Ayer’s Kaserne place called Kirchgoens. So the irony is in me explaining at this time first brigade we were on a Grafenwoher deployment.
So the irony is I get sent back to Ayer’s Kaserne to rear detachment on medical because I had bronchitis / pneumonia I couldn’t shake it this time. So after a couple days of sleeping and eating antibiotics for couple days the rear detachment N.C.O. he was like I don’t need you just rest really cool SGT. So I’m finally feeling ok and what do I do and I head out to a bar I liked.
So I’m at this pub EKU drinking veizen beer or Licher beer probably can’t remember what I was drinking and I hear this can I borrow a cigarette (I know booze and nicotine recovering from pneumonia wasn’t the sharpest butter knife I was a kid 19 your young you can deal with it) so I pull this cigarette out and this guy reached for it. And in reaching for it his sleeve goes up on his arm and on his forearm I see a concentration camp tattoo.
So we chatted he was civilian worker at Schloss Kaserne for U.S. Army he held citizenship of west Germany his father was Russian his mother polish or vice versa yet I explained my grandfather was Ukrainian my grandmother polish I was buying him beer and it got to point I had to ask how can you live amongst these people or sit here and talk with these Germans of your Generation.
His response was I have learned to forgive and his response just floored me in that he lost it all his wife his baby his parents siblings I learned in talking with him. Because he and family were Ashkenazi Jews on a day the German army arrived and deported them to the camps. And in this time I made good friendship with a former German soldier who fought in Russia so I knew all Germans were not Nazis. This former soldier actually and this survivor of concentration camp were then perhaps my age now 57 perhaps early sixties in age.
And my friend who was soldier he explained to me that to them then it was a crusade to destroy communism he was young. And in getting to know him and his wife God they to lost and suffered truly decent humans they would invite me into their home and I got to know them. And my friends wife her brother was marched off into captivity by the soviets never to come home , and my friend who fought on the east front lost two brothers in Russia they both were buried in Russia.
I need to step back in my hate and anger towards the anti vaccine it was a hoax crowd because these people are hateful racist orange messiah cultists. In thinking what I lost in comparison to those who I knew above that I described to you and how they suffered. Yes trump commited Genocide in his response to covid and those that supported trump and we saw clearly hundreds of thousands were sickened and murdered by the failed response. Refrigerator trailers being used as morgues mass graves for the poor buried.
I’m not the only person who lost their soulmate of thirty six and half years. I do not post for pity I truly think I use this platform of D.U. to dump my thoughts otherwise I keep them to myself. It’s gonna be in four days six months since Liz passed and it’s just time for me to start living again.
I cannot be constantly consumed with hate and anger towards the no vax crowd that’s not living at all, will I socialize with them no family coworkers no I told several at work. We do not make small talk on shift anymore we only discuss work especially when I am yard jockey and I’m not running a turn to say Queens or Pittsburgh as example then back to home terminal some nights if I can I just do straight yard jockey.
I once read a statement by serial killer Carl Panzram he said if he could hang humanity by it’s neck he would reading that I’m thinking what a monster and how humanity shaped him. And in my mind this is where I have been as Carl said how I felt or feel towards the anti vax it was a hoax the left is trying to destroy dear leader with Covid disinformation these people are fucked up weak in mind very hateful in life.
Yet they as a movement are truly dangerous in their christofascist domionism quest for this country they to suffered under trumps failed response to Covid in sickness and death and they still support him blows my mind .
I have explained to them have you ever read of the religious wars in Europe our founding fathers knew. And they were perhaps more Deist than Christian and other times I just tell them. You brainwashed fuckers this is a country for all yes all even those you wish to marginalize. It’s is a republic not your church of the pasty white Jesus who ran around Galilee speaking murican and promoting open carry of well then with swords.
So yea in closing this ramble.
Number 1 - Stop thinking like serial killer Carl Panzram that figuratively speaking hang the anti vax movement by its neck.
2- I woke up with Zeppelins Lemon song in my head can’t shake it. Playing over and over in my brain huh I’ll have to teach sixteen this jam on guitar.
Have good day D.U. Community 
= new reply since forum marked as read
A year. He died of heart disease, I was angry and resentful that he was an artist all his life and didn’t have health insurance. I blamed myself very much. I would come home from work and scream at the top of my lungs yelling and ranting and raving. I finally got some help from a doctor so I didn’t end it all. My brothers and my best friend love me and that makes me better off than some people. Keep up the good work 
you are thoughtful and moving through it. there's no timeline and in a way it never ends.
You and your children will be okay.
i'd be embarrassed to even hear the lemon song around my kids let alone teach them how to play it lol
Hope your future is bright. And it sounds to me, you are on your way. 
