Texas School Picture Day Photographer Expands Offerings To Include Memorial Posters

[Nevilledog]

https://www.theonion.com/texas-school-picture-day-photographer-expands-offerings-1850408923

SAN ANTONIO—After noticing a sharp increase in demand in recent months, local school picture day photographer Allison Cummings announced Friday that she would expand her offerings to include large memorial posters. “We’re pleased to let our many Texas clients know they can now order a 26-by-34 memorial poster board of their child’s face that would perfectly represent them at a wake or vigil,” said Cummings, recommending parents, grandparents, and other surviving family members act now to purchase the large-format version of what might be the last photograph of their child ever captured. “Take it from other mourning parents: You won’t want to be concerned with this kind of thing if the unthinkable occurs a few days, weeks, or months from now. This is the sort of high-quality inkjet print and sturdy cardboard your child deserves to have hanging above their casket. It’s only $39.99, and we’re offering 15% off and our condolences to anyone with more than one child in the same Texas school.” At press time, Cummings was overheard instructing one smiling child to “do a serious one” in case he turned out to be the next shooter.

[Deuxcents]

1. Omg 😱.

[Bettie]

2. Capitalism meets Gun Culture

I guess...it's, um, something.

[Srkdqltr]

3. On one hand it's a thought, on the other it's so horribly sad.. Ok The Onion.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. I love good satire

[Deuxcents]

6. Aggg.. I gotta pay better attention

[Karadeniz]

7. Me, too!