If you think the Republicans are just sitting around doing nothing, boy are you wrong!

[CoffeeCat]

This is from Free Republic. It is real. It is not a joke. It is important to know what the other side is up to--as Obama attempts to reach across the aisle and work with politicians who represent the interests and mindset of people like this. I'd say that Obama has the hardest job in the world, wouldn't you?

Just look at this...

Link:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2957088/posts


Today, I instructed my wife to prepare for post Obama election by doing the following:
1. Close out our bank accounts, checking accounts, savings account.

2. Eliminate and exist from all medical service programs, insurance, and destroy all medical records and ID numbers.

3. Destroy and toss all cell phones.

4. Take out and smash all black boxes in our vehicles. Will put on the road my 69 mustaang.

5. Cut up all credit cards and call to stop all transactions.

6. Call and stop propane gas shipments, will now burn firewood. Already have more than 500 cord stacked as a backup.

7. Buy only the bare necessaities and pay all bills with a money order.

8. Plan all travel areas, use back roads to avoid TSA agents.

9. Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency.

10. Call and turn off Direct TV.

11. End all computer web services.

12. Build a gate at the end of our driveway and keep it locked. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.

13. Get involved more heavily with local Tea Party to establish a third party, no more money to the GOP under any circumstance!

The list may be updated to include other more secret actions that the government need not know about here!

1 posted on November 8, 2012 12:42:24 PM CST by paratrooper82

[flamingdem]

1. LOL

This is hilarious. They're having full on psychotic breaks

[JaneyVee]

102. +332,206

[villager]

2. He "instructed his wife?" So *she's* doing all that, not him?

He just issues the edicts?

[uponit7771]

7. +1!

[Corgigal]

18. instructed my wife ??

Thought the same thing, she should say Fuck you asshole do it yourself.

[OldDem2012]

37. Why of course! Don't you know the wife has to be obedient to the husband? (Barf!).....

...What a dumbass.

[postulater]

38. I'm surprised he didn't say "the wife". I hear that a lot. .... Sick.

[Michigan Alum]

54. If I were his wife I'd "instruct" him to go "eff" himself.

[RudynJack]

76. you think

She'd be exhausted from cutting all that firewood.

[Brother Buzz]

82. He did but her a chainsaw

[central scrutinizer]

84. no shit - 500 cords!

That would be, if neatly stacked, about one fifth of an acre 8 feet deep. Or to put it another way - if your house had 1600 square feet and 8 foot ceilings, you would need five such houses, completely filled with firewood to make 500 cords.

[Evasporque]

83. LOL he went hunting and then to the bar...nt

[Zorra]

110. Exactly nt

[chalky]

103. If she has any sense, she'll do step 1

and then run like hell.

[Art_from_Ark]

104. That is funny

"Dear John,
As per your instructions I cleaned out the bank account and am now heading to parts unknown.
Enjoy your new life as a hermit."

[Iris]

105. Of course! So when none of that shit gets done, he'll have someone else to blame! n/t

[codjh9]

3. As usual, it would be funny if it's wasn't so crazy/scary too. Includes the usual Republican

misspellings too, although he's better than many/most. It's insane: fear of someone who is trying to help us.

[JustFiveMoreMinutes]

4. #13 I like

..establish a third party, no more money to the GOP under any circumstance!

[Flashmann]

16. #13 I like

I like the entire list......They ALL should get right on that.......

[KittyWampus]

24. But only donate using money orders... no more credit cards. LOL!

[boxman]

5. Wow

I can't imagine living in that kind of irrational fear.

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. What, he can't even help her build the darn gate??

[texanwitch]

17. That is women's work.

I feel sorry for his wife.

[yashoo]

8. no reference to arming himself

an odd omission by any freeper standard

[OriginalGeek]

23. Well that is assumed

is like not announcing he's gonna breathe.

[unblock]

40. hah, surely he's heavily armed already...

but you're right, a freeper screed would at least mention it, say stock up on ammo or something.

[FarPoint]

9. Wife may file for divorce.

I give them 30 days

[Skidmore]

10. First, how's he going to get instructions from FOX or Beck?

And, second, getting parts for that 69 mustaaaaang is gonna be a bear.

Third, if his wife took "instructions" from him, she's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

[Warren Stupidity]

46. "Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency. "

Clearly that means use the landline all the time including the many emergencies in all of freeperdumb.

[MicaelS]

53. Hasn't the dumbass heard of an "infinity bug"?

http://spy-nexus.com/bug-guide/infinity-bug/

[ProfessorGAC]

88. Well, It's Worse Than That

They only use it in an emergency, but friends have to call before they come over. If they're not answering the phone, what good would it do to call. And, if they have caller ID, and they know it's a friend, they're using the phone when it's not an emergency.

My guess is this is a Freeper infiltrator having a bit of fun at their expense.
GAC

[sinkingfeeling]

11. How can the family call if you've tossed the cell phones and will only

use landline in an emergency?

[texanwitch]

28. He will have to tell his wife to put a bell on the gate for ringing.

The phone part is funny.

Maybe people can yell over the gate.

[mshasta]

106. lol...

dumb fuck!! ..

[Obamamama44]

12. Shutting off directv kills Fox News for them lol nt

[reformist2]

13. Typical Repug temper tantrums. 99% of them will end up doing zilch.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

14. God I wish every last one of them would check out like that.

Then they would be out of the way while the adults clean up the mess they left behind.

[yesphan]

32. Oh they will be armed.

You'll be running into them when you're hiking. Living next to their "bug out" vehicles.

[Indpndnt]

85. ^^This!

[HockeyMom]

15. I wasn't born yesterday (1948) and don't trust them

I know they will use any devious method they can to get their way.

[deutsey]

19. 14. And get a note to the milkman: NO MORE CHEESE!

[kentuck]

20. He forget to tell his wife....

to put on her veil.

[Springslips]

21. Last line...

"The list may be updated to include other more secret actions that the government need not to know about here."

Well, moron, (or moRAN as you call it.), perhaps it would have been best NOT to post this online where the gov'ment and everyone else an see it!

[Blue Meany]

22. 500 cords of firewood? I call bullshit. I heat with firewood in Maine and use 4 cords a year. n/t

[unblock]

43. to them, all numbers higher than 2 are the same, they all mean "many".

[Warren Stupidity]

50. c'mon, baboons get to three before they have to go to many.

are you saying they are dumber than baboons?

[unblock]

56. oh, my, did i imply that?

[trotsky]

73. LMFAO

That literally made me LOL. Thank you.

[Warren Stupidity]

49. He's a lumberjack

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

[sharp_stick]

51. No he really cut down an entire forest

to provide firewood.... Well maybe he just had his wife cut and split it but whatever.

[FSogol]

52. That would rot before you could burn it. n/t

[Doodler71]

64. Yeah, where is he storing this 500 cords of wood?

I can't think of a place to hold that much wood, unless he has acres and acres of land. I guess there is a lot of empty real estate in his skull, maybe he could store it there.

[Gruenemann]

25. DO read the Freepers' responses!

They're pretty much the same as the ones here!

[andrewdrinker]

81. bipartisanship!

I'm glad there's bipartisanship on at least one thing!

[dooner]

109. I'm surprised

some of the responses are pretty good...

[Blue4Texas]

26. To remember "Fearful people can be vicious"

[Michigan Alum]

60. This guy probably has a paranoid personality disorder so yes, you don't want to get in his way.

[Cognitive_Resonance]

27. 14. Procure lifetime supply of Cheeto's

[B Calm]

29. ha ha ha ha

You think they'll ever stop CRYING?

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

30. For the math majors among us;

a cord of wood measures 4x4x8. He said he has 500 cords. How much room does he need?

[hifiguy]

55. Not less than 2370 cubic yards.

That is one hell of a lot of space.

[Gregorian]

31. I'VE GOT A ROPE!

[SammyWinstonJack]

33. ...

[OriginalGeek]

34. Is the freeper OP a well-known poster there?

because this is pretty funny trollery if not...maybe even funnier if so...

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

67. Getting harder and harder to tell, isn't it?

[OriginalGeek]

78. Indeed!

I bet an equal case can be made for any of these three possibilities:
1. Real freeper, really mad, checking out.
2. Real freeper, posting chum to get the base stirred up and with the side benefit of having a Liberal read it and post it as truth elsewhere.
3. Real Liberal trolling them hard.


All three scenarios make me laugh though.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

35. #11---DOH!

[fleur-de-lisa]

36. The logic is flawless . . .

3. Destroy and toss all cell phones.

9. Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency (???).

12. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.


How can anyone call you, numbnuts, if you ditch the cell phones and won't use land lines? Got a direct line to your bat-shit crazy brain?

[City of Mills]

39. Good, but why not start by cancelling Internet service?

So we don't have to read this fantasy "taking my ball and going home" crap.

But hey, go Galt and financially cripple yourself. Go on welfare. It's such an easy, free ride isn't it?

These people don't live in the real world.

[Autumn]

41. So I guess paratrooper82 will sit on his ass swilling tea while his wife

does just as he instructed. It would be funny if she instructed his ass with a frying pan.

[Libby2]

42. lmao

I can only pray that they are doing all of the above.

[WilliamPitt]

44. The responses are a riot.

He's not getting much traction with this.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

45. In other news, Freeper spousal productivity has jumped by 37% in the last 2 days n/t

.

[siligut]

99. And Smith & Wesson Holding Corporation up by 4% in the same time frame nt

[FSogol]

47. Here's his real list

1. Tell Mom, I'm out of Cheetos, Mountain Dew, and Hot Pockets.

2. Post racist and inflammatory messages on internet.

3. Masturbate furiously.

[fleur-de-lisa]

90. LOL!

[hifiguy]

48. Life in the Twilight World of Total Paranoia.

Sucks to be them.

[Doodler71]

57. How are their "friends" gonna call if the phones are all smashed

and the house line is only for emergencies?

This is so kooky that I can't even muster the energy for sarcasm.

[CoffeeCat]

62. They will develop a new way of communicating...

...that involves large gold reserves and dehydrated beef stew that were purchased after listening to Glenn Beck tell them to stock up on essentials.

[susanna]

107. He's got plenty of firewood for smoke signals. n/t

[Michigan Alum]

70. This is what one person said: Get rid of the landline too, and just use pigeons to communicate.

They were saying it in jest.

[trixicopper]

97. Maybe he has lots of tin cans and string?!

[calico1]

58. Silly man.

Doesn't he know the government can track your ISP?

Look out buddy, they will find you soon!

[TeeYiYi]

59. 14. Move forward with top secret communication network...

TYY

[cecilfirefox]

61. Instructed my wife? Freaks. nt

[tledford]

63. It reads like some crazy neighbor character from "Family Guy" or something. eom

[nadinbrzezinski]

65. Locally the knives are out

Moderates are pissed and want the far right drummed out...that means the local chairman.

[BeeBee]

66. This is just creepy.

As I mentioned in another thread, I work at a place where we have a "club" and people get several shipments throughout the year. So far, we have had two people cancel their memberships because of the election.

There is no rational thought going on in their heads.

[thereismore]

68. bare necessaities! Hahahaha, remember Bear Necessities from The Jungle Book? nt

[LynneSin]

69. I'm going to buy stock in Reynold's Aluminum Foil... it's gonna go HUGE next year

[SoCalDem]

71. FHM

Full-hunker-mode

[alcibiades_mystery]

72. 11. End all computer web services.

Eggggs-ellent.



These people are mentally ill.

[Michigan Alum]

74. I'm glad to see that most of THOSE freezers aren't as crazy as I thought they are.

[MineralMan]

75. He's not a paratrooper, either.

It's all bullshit keyboard warrior nonsense. In reality, he's never been married, lives in his mother's basement, and doesn't have any of that stuff, including the imaginary wife.

[Duer 157099]

77. You know what we call it when cells in the body make those kinds of decisions?

Apoptosis. Look it up.

[NYC Liberal]

79. Personally, I find it sad that someone lives with such irrational fear and hatred.

I can't imagine living that way. Even when Bush was president, I never sank to that.

[magical thyme]

80. 500 cord of wood stacked up?!? REALLY?!?!?!?!!!!!

That's gonna make one helluva bonfire? Or does he plan to use it over the next 50 or so years? In which case, it will be rotted and useless after a couple years, but hey it's great for growing termites and bugs in. Hope it's not too close to his house

[librechik]

86. headin for Mexico where there are no socialists!

except for the entire government. Or Canada? same thing. Ohm they will drive to the bottom of their driveway where they will lock the gate and barricade themselves awaiting the Blue Helmets.

Maybe they're heading to their secret underground lair where they will gather with other like minded people to wait out the apocalypse.

What is that, Idaho?

oh, and...He's going to get the wife to build a security gate? Is the fence impermeable? Electrified? Imaginary?

lulzy...

[Carni]

87. I thought they already did all this during the impeachment? LOL

And then before Y2K and then when Obama was elected the first time (you get the idea) LMAO!

My fave "End all computer web services"

What other types of "web services" does this guy have or offer?

[hootinholler]

89. 14. Enroll in an English course

Some of those say exactly the opposite of what he means.

[99Forever]

94. Bwahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahha!

The dumbass forgot to list make a new one of these:

[mstinamotorcity2]

91. He will be on that

program next week called Doomsday Preparations

[WinkyDink]

92. Oh, brother.

[pa28]

93. Maybe his wife should stop at step one and then find a good lawyer.

This guy sounds like he's gone around the bend.

[trueblue2007]

95. THIS PERSON "INSTRUCTING HIS WIFE" to do this.... IS STUPID

WHAT A MORON.

He is wasting his time with meaningless less drivel.

[firehorse]

96. I hope they all opt for this same choice of self imprisonment.

Better to fester in the hatred and paranoia alone out in the woods.

[nc4bo]

98. Get rid of cell phones, landlines and internet. Tell visitors to call first?!!!! Oh holla!!

Bwahahahha

[brooklynite]

100. Anyone see the flaw in his clever plan?

Destroy and toss all cell phones

use landline telephone only in an emergency.

Build a gate at the end of our driveway and keep it locked. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.

[brooklynite]

101. I can see him sitting on his dark porch (no Electric Utility account) thinking...

..."It's quiet out there -- TOO quiet"

[DearHeart]

108. Misogynistic Whackjob!

He didn't think that posting all that, he may have already alerted the feds to his plans??? DUH!