Man Who Eats Breakfast At Dunkin' Donuts Every Morning And Enjoys The 'Saw' Films Allowed To Vote
YOUNGSTOWN, OH—According to records obtained from the Mahoning County registrar’s office, local man David Kearney, who eats breakfast at Dunkin’ Donuts every day and is a passionate fan of the Saw film franchise, is actually allowed to vote in today’s general election.
Reports confirmed that Kearney, 34, enjoys sitting down in a Dunkin’ Donuts location and eating a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant each morning before work, has seen every Saw movie multiple times, and is freely able to play an active role in the democratic process like every other registered voter in the United States.
“I just can’t get going in the morning without a Dunkaccino,” said Kearney, who possesses the right to visit a polling center and help decide, quite literally, the political direction of the entire nation over the next four years. “They’re so good. Goes great with a Boston Kreme.”
“And you gotta love the Munchkins, man—I usually get a half dozen of those,” added the man who will help choose the next president of the United States, which, reportedly, is the most important and powerful position in the world. “I’ve got a Dunkin’ Donuts Perks card, too, so it’s pretty cheap.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-eats-breakfast-at-dunkin-donuts-every-morn,30259/
= new reply since forum marked as read
Plus, my little town doesn't even have a Dunkin' Donuts. 
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