Sarah Palin's primary eve pitch: (not really, for cryin' out loud!)
My dear Alaska grizzly moms---and dads!
Tomorrow is the day we can come together---OMG! Can I say that?---ha-ha-ha----anyhoo--------we can unite and put Alaska back on the map!
If you look at one of those global thingies that spin around---did you know the real world---that's called "earth"---does actually spin around? No wonder I'm dizzy so often--- you will see our largest state up there hooked onto Canada. It's our job to keep an eye on Russia which, on a clear day------"you can see forever!"--- that's a line from a song, I think, but you can often --- like the song says, "on a clear day" see Russia.
So, it is real important that you send someone to that Congress who is educated and well read and knows how to accessorize a conservative business outfit so that it "turns heads", if you know what I mean. The men in power---like that wonderful Donald Trump!--- need to notice you if you are gonna, you know, work with them. A little leg, a little cleavage and before you know it they'll be taking you seriously! You betcha!
Did I mention I can skin a moose?
Did I mention Donald---PRESIDENT---Trump loves me?
Give me your vote and I'll--- do something really really---"Alaskan"--- for all you grizzly---wonderful Russia watchers!
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