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crimycarny

(1,351 posts)
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 10:56 PM Jul 2022

I got a personal call from Jamie Raskin regarding my son's suicide

I lost my son to suicide 1/27/2022. He was 25. I read Jamie’s Raskin’s book “Unthinkable” where Congressmen Raskin wrote about Tommy’s death by suicide. I was recommended the book by several DU’ers. That book truly might have saved my life.

I wanted to let Congressman Raskin know how much his book meant to me but had no idea how to contact him. I decided to use the same method I did with the White House and just use the generic “contact us” email from the Jamie Raskin for Congress website. This was probably about 2 months ago. I didn’t expect a reply, I just wanted to share how much his book helped me.

Well, yesterday morning I get a call from the 202 area code. (I’ll use “crimycarny” as my first name in my description of the call. Jamie used my real first name of course). I pick up and I hear a cheerful “Hi, is this crimycarny?” I replied “Yes” and the caller says “Hi, crimycarny, this is Jamie Raskin. I’m calling to thank you for your wonderful email. I’m sorry it took me so to respond as I’ve been busy with January 6th”. Yes, it was him. The voice was unmistakable. We didn’t talk long, I just reiterated how much his book helped me.

After I hung up I went downstairs to tell my husband. As I was showing him the number I accidentally hit redial. I hung up right away and I also assumed it was a switchboard type number. Next thing I know a call is coming in from the same number. I pick up and it’s Jamie again! He said “Hi Crimycarny, I saw you just tried to call. Did you need something?” I said no, that it was a mistake redial. He replied “ok, I just wanted to make sure. Well, you have my number if you need anything.”

Jamie Raskin is the real deal. The kindness and caring he exudes in public is the true man he is.

Nothing will bring my son back. Nothing will ease this unbearable pain. But it helps to know people care. DU’ers have been immensely helpful as well.

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I got a personal call from Jamie Raskin regarding my son's suicide (Original Post) crimycarny Jul 2022 OP
Yes, Jamie Raskin is the real deal. elleng Jul 2022 #1
Lucky you crimycarny Jul 2022 #7
After my husband's suicide, I was suicidal, learned it's common response duhneece Aug 2022 #33
Raskin is what real "manhood" acts like. Bless him. nt Samrob Aug 2022 #43
wow. that's rly sweet. mopinko Jul 2022 #2
Wow, it is wonderful that he called and wonderful his book brought you comfort. ❤️ MLAA Jul 2022 #3
My dear crimycarny! I am so glad he reached out to you at this painful moment. CaliforniaPeggy Jul 2022 #4
I Am Truly Sorry To Hear About What You Experienced SoCalDavidS Jul 2022 #5
I am so sorry. Demsrule86 Jul 2022 #6
I will read that book based on your rec, crimycarny Skittles Jul 2022 #8
Sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what your loss did to your llife, OAITW r.2.0 Jul 2022 #9
That is so nice of Jamie Raskin. G2theD Jul 2022 #10
Wow Bayard Jul 2022 #11
Siblings seem to be the "forgotten" survivors crimycarny Jul 2022 #15
I remember a line from a Dave Matthews song.... Bayard Aug 2022 #41
"Siblings seem to be the 'forgotten' survivors." 3catwoman3 Aug 2022 #54
This is great. Thank you for sharing. TheBeam19 Jul 2022 #12
I'm crying, I am absolutely crying. CaptainTruth Jul 2022 #13
I love that man. applegrove Jul 2022 #14
What a wonderful human being and an incredibly kind thing to do. He understands like no one else does Rhiannon12866 Jul 2022 #16
When you get discouraged because of Trump and MAGA it can look hopeless grantcart Aug 2022 #17
The person who would have enjoyed this story the most was my late son crimycarny Aug 2022 #19
I'm so sorry for your deep loss but glad to see he brought you some comfort. flying_wahini Aug 2022 #18
This post brought tears to my eyes LetMyPeopleVote Aug 2022 #20
Okay. sheshe2 Aug 2022 #21
Thanks for sharing. Your loss is so much bigger than Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2022 #22
I can't picture any GQP leader doing the same and really BigmanPigman Aug 2022 #23
I can't imagine aGQP leader doing the same soldierant Aug 2022 #50
Peace to you and your family. riversedge Aug 2022 #24
So sorry for such a loss! How empathetic that Rep Raskin contacted you electric_blue68 Aug 2022 #25
What an awesome story! AntivaxHunters Aug 2022 #26
I am so sorry for your pain and the pain your son must have been in Novara Aug 2022 #27
I so wish you some peace. Losing a child is hard. Lonestarblue Aug 2022 #28
Thank you for sharing this experience. badhair77 Aug 2022 #29
Condolences on your loss Alice Kramden Aug 2022 #30
Jamie is a class act. Just like Joe. Kindness is an incredible characteristic of some Democratic Stuart G Aug 2022 #31
Thanks for sharing this story FakeNoose Aug 2022 #32
Oh, Wow! Deep State Witch Aug 2022 #34
It's nice to know that good people are appreciated Farmer-Rick Aug 2022 #35
Thank you for sharing that story. Chainfire Aug 2022 #36
Deepest condolences SheltieLover Aug 2022 #37
My deepest condolences DemUnleashed Aug 2022 #38
You are making me cry. murielm99 Aug 2022 #39
Same here. The depth of sorrow endured, and the poignancy of humanity... JudyM Aug 2022 #42
Recommended. H2O Man Aug 2022 #40
Thanks so much for this, crimycarny. calimary Aug 2022 #44
we survivors do share a bond that others just can't comprehend yellowdogintexas Aug 2022 #45
OMG!!! Wow. Thanks for sharing that. LymphocyteLover Aug 2022 #46
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Jamie is one of a very few Senators who aren't corrupt and out napi21 Aug 2022 #47
Stuttering zipplewrath Aug 2022 #48
Not many posts make me well up. sellitman Aug 2022 #49
That's so wonderful mvd Aug 2022 #51
How lovely that he called you malaise Aug 2022 #52
You're not alone. tazkcmo Aug 2022 #53
I'm so unbelievably sorry budkin Aug 2022 #55

crimycarny

(1,351 posts)
7. Lucky you
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:15 PM
Jul 2022

I live in a very red area of California. Jamie Raskin’s authenticity is what made his book so powerful.

I still blame myself all the time for my son’s death. I should have done X, I shouldn’t have done Z. But I remind myself of all the the Raskin’s did to try and help Tommy. It’s obvious he grew up in an amazingly loving and tight knit family. The Raskin’s tried everything. Counseling, medication. Love love love. Yet Tommy still succumbed to his illness. It reminded me this IS an illness.

I’m still in indescribable pain, but in those earlier weeks the guilt was making me seriously think of taking my own life. “Unthinkable” helped ease me back from the edge of that cliff.

duhneece

(4,077 posts)
33. After my husband's suicide, I was suicidal, learned it's common response
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 07:52 AM
Aug 2022

I’ve read books since and learned how often it is our response.

I’d had no idea.

DU is family and we hurt for you, cry and cuss with you. And love you. And Justin

CaliforniaPeggy

(148,873 posts)
4. My dear crimycarny! I am so glad he reached out to you at this painful moment.
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:08 PM
Jul 2022

He is a gem.

I hope he lifted some of your grief.

SoCalDavidS

(9,998 posts)
5. I Am Truly Sorry To Hear About What You Experienced
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:12 PM
Jul 2022

Mr. Raskin is a true Mensch.

A wonderful human being.

It truly shows how bad things can happen to good people.

Only infuriates me even more to see how much he and you have suffered, while complete Degenerates like TFG, continue to lead a life of contentment and peace.

Skittles

(152,851 posts)
8. I will read that book based on your rec, crimycarny
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:17 PM
Jul 2022

yes we do care, and there is always someone here on DU

OAITW r.2.0

(23,123 posts)
9. Sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what your loss did to your llife,
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:20 PM
Jul 2022

But thanks for sharing....another reason why I love the Party that I vote and support.

G2theD

(592 posts)
10. That is so nice of Jamie Raskin.
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:29 PM
Jul 2022

First, I am always crushed when I hear a parent talking about losing their child, particularly from suicide. I think all of us with children worry about suicide, especially today when things seem so hopeless to so many.

Young people today have burdens we never imagined. I have a trans daughter with Asperger’s and I worry about her every day.

Please accept my condolences on your tragedy.
I know it falls short. It’s all I can do, but wish there was more.

What a wonderful thing that Jamie Raskin did. He is an amazing human being that has also suffered the ultimate tragedy a parent can experience. He is a hero of mine and his talking about his son has helped many people.

Just know that you have a friend if you need one, along with so many others here on DU.
Wishing you the best.

Bayard

(21,579 posts)
11. Wow
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:36 PM
Jul 2022

What a compassionate human being. Especially for a politician. I feel the same way about Joe Biden.

Take care of yourself, crimycarny. I lost my older brother to suicide nearly 30 years ago. I still miss him every single day, even more because he was also my best friend. But as Biden has often said, remember him with smiles now instead of tears. I hope you find that peace. Any time you want to PM me, please do.

crimycarny

(1,351 posts)
15. Siblings seem to be the "forgotten" survivors
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:54 PM
Jul 2022

I’ve been a bit disturbed at the dearth of support for sibling survivors of suicide. My middle son was extremely close to his older brother who died by suicide. I was hoping to find a sibling support group for him but was unable to. Siblings have to grieve the loss of their brother/sister as well as observe the pain of their parents. And often their parents are in such deep pain they can’t be as supportive to their remaining children as they wish (and the remaining children feel guilty for adding to their parent’s pain so suffer in silence).


Bayard

(21,579 posts)
41. I remember a line from a Dave Matthews song....
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 10:19 AM
Aug 2022

"You should never have to bury your own babies." I hope both you, and your son, can lean on each other. I know it can feel like your heart is going to burst.

I think siblings feel a lot of guilt for not recognizing just how much pain their brother/sister was in. I didn't realize how much my brother depended on me. This happened a month after I moved out of state.

3catwoman3

(23,642 posts)
54. "Siblings seem to be the 'forgotten' survivors."
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 08:57 PM
Aug 2022

Your above post is so right on the money, regardless of the cause of death of a sibling. My brother and only sib died in a scuba diving mishap when he was only 23, way back in 1978. My mother’s agony was so profound that it felt as if I could not deal with her pain and my own at the same time, so I just shut mine away as much as I could when we were together, and I don’t think I ever broke down completely in front of her.

I hope your middle son can find something/someone to lean on. He may well be feeling the need to be strong for you, and he will need someone who can be strong for him.

Wishing all of you sources of strength and serenity.

TheBeam19

(344 posts)
12. This is great. Thank you for sharing.
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:39 PM
Jul 2022

You are honoring your son by sharing this wonderful story with us. I sincerely hope that Rep. Raskin’s act of kindness brings you some amount of peace when you need it.

Rhiannon12866

(200,463 posts)
16. What a wonderful human being and an incredibly kind thing to do. He understands like no one else does
Sun Jul 31, 2022, 11:56 PM
Jul 2022

Thanks so much for sharing this with us and my profound sympathies to you. Jamie Raskin is in your corner and is also working so hard for the American people.

grantcart

(53,061 posts)
17. When you get discouraged because of Trump and MAGA it can look hopeless
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 12:15 AM
Aug 2022

And then a guy like Raskin pops up and it is so encouraging


Thanks for the story. Good luck to you and your family.

crimycarny

(1,351 posts)
19. The person who would have enjoyed this story the most was my late son
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 12:23 AM
Aug 2022

Justin, my late son, was very active politically. Originally a Bernie Sanders supported he quickly got behind Biden once Biden won the primary.

Justin and I discussed politics all the time, he was a fighter for justice for the underdog...way more active than I was.

Justin would have been delighted to know I got a call from Jamie Raskin. Justin would have been first person I would have told. But, of course, he’s not here.

flying_wahini

(6,285 posts)
18. I'm so sorry for your deep loss but glad to see he brought you some comfort.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 12:22 AM
Aug 2022

He seems like that too when I hear him speak. A man with such a tender and sweet heart.

LetMyPeopleVote

(142,804 posts)
20. This post brought tears to my eyes
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 12:31 AM
Aug 2022

First, you have my deepest condolences for the loss of your child. I cannot imagine the pain that you have gone through

I have watched several interviews of Congressman Raskin describing the loss of his son. The fact that this man was able to attend the Jan. 5 joint session of congress was amazing to me. I would be sitting shiva for the entire month if I was in his place. The fact that Congressman Raskin called you does not surprise me. Congressman Raskin is a genuine human being who cares.

I agree with you that Congressman Raskin in the real deal.

Thank you for sharing this story.

BigmanPigman

(51,258 posts)
23. I can't picture any GQP leader doing the same and really
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 01:22 AM
Aug 2022

meaning it. They talk the talk but reps like Jamie walk the walk. Very few GQP would ever consider such behavior since they are so self absorbed and MEAN!

soldierant

(6,457 posts)
50. I can't imagine aGQP leader doing the same
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 06:45 PM
Aug 2022

even just as a vote getting measure And they couldn't pull that off anyway, even if they tried with both hands for a month.

Novara

(5,600 posts)
27. I am so sorry for your pain and the pain your son must have been in
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 05:58 AM
Aug 2022

Sometimes it does feel unbearable. But as you said, you have the love and support of many, many people. I wish your whole family peace and healing.

Thank you for sharing this. Jamie Raskin is indeed a good, good man.

My congressperson is always telling people they can reach out to him. I haven't had a reason other than to voice my political concerns and to thank him for some of the good things he's done, but its a wonderful thing to know that some of them really do represent us and care about us. That's the way it should be.

Lonestarblue

(9,662 posts)
28. I so wish you some peace. Losing a child is hard.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 06:28 AM
Aug 2022

And how wonderful for Jamie Raskin to call you. One of the biggest differences I’ve always seen between Democrats and Republicans is that most Democrats really care about people and whatbis happening to them while Republicans just don’t care what happens to anyone but themselves.

Please take it easy on yourself, and I hope each day gets a bit better.

badhair77

(4,147 posts)
29. Thank you for sharing this experience.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 06:35 AM
Aug 2022

It’s inspiring to read about this kindness first thing in the morning. I hope you are uplifted by more acts of compassion as you grieve. I wish you peace.

Alice Kramden

(2,137 posts)
30. Condolences on your loss
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 06:41 AM
Aug 2022

And thanks for sharing this amazing story. May the kindness and love of those around you provide a balm to your heart

Stuart G

(38,229 posts)
31. Jamie is a class act. Just like Joe. Kindness is an incredible characteristic of some Democratic
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 07:38 AM
Aug 2022

leaders. And many of our "non leaders" too.

Sorry for your loss.

FakeNoose

(32,037 posts)
32. Thanks for sharing this story
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 07:52 AM
Aug 2022

I read Jamie Raskin's book and absolutely loved it. I've recommended it on DU several times to different DUers.

The loss of a child to suicide must be the most awful thing any parent can endure. I can't imagine the pain those parents (including you) must feel. However Mr. Raskin's book really puts those feelings into words, and it helps us to understand the process of healing.

Grief is different for everyone, and no one else can tell you the right way to grieve for your son. You'll never forget him of course, but in time the pain of his loss will subside.

May you and your husband find solace in your memories from happier times.



Deep State Witch

(10,244 posts)
34. Oh, Wow!
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 08:04 AM
Aug 2022

That is amazing. Jamie Raskin is the real deal. I wish we had been redistricted into his district. So sorry for your loss.

Farmer-Rick

(9,925 posts)
35. It's nice to know that good people are appreciated
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 08:31 AM
Aug 2022

I have just been dragged over the coals and it's good to hear about the good sometimes.

DemUnleashed

(633 posts)
38. My deepest condolences
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 09:05 AM
Aug 2022

I am very sorry for your loss

What a sweet story you posted though...and what a sweet man Jamie Raskin is!

H2O Man

(73,028 posts)
40. Recommended.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 09:56 AM
Aug 2022

Thank you for posting this. I have rarely cried in my adult life, being a product of a generation that grew up with fathers who said, "Quit your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about." I had five family members die in the past 18 months, and not a tear. But this hit me in a way that has them flowing.

calimary

(80,137 posts)
44. Thanks so much for this, crimycarny.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 10:56 AM
Aug 2022

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Words seem so - well - useless. Your son. I can’t even imagine the pain of that. I’m touched and impressed that Raskin would reach out to you. You share quite a bond. An unwantable bond, to be sure, but a bond nonetheless. Obviously he thinks so, too.

yellowdogintexas

(21,966 posts)
45. we survivors do share a bond that others just can't comprehend
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 02:46 PM
Aug 2022

maybe a sudden loss due to a murder or accident comes close but suicide is different.

Rep Raskin is truly honorable man. I adore him.

Now I have to read his book. Even after so many years since my father's suicide, there are still times something like this book would be good to have.

napi21

(45,806 posts)
47. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Jamie is one of a very few Senators who aren't corrupt and out
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 05:27 PM
Aug 2022

for their own interests over anything else. I always listen when he's speaking in the Senate or on TV. I hope he can instill some of his character to the other asses there.

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
48. Stuttering
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 05:51 PM
Aug 2022

I'm reminded of Joe's reaction to stuttering children. There are issues that will hit them very close to home. Don't abuse it, but don't avoid reaching out when it's appropriate. He'll appreciate as much as you might need it.

sellitman

(11,585 posts)
49. Not many posts make me well up.
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 05:59 PM
Aug 2022

Yours did for a number of reasons. A few friends of mine have lost their children. Years ago we came close to losing ours. I think about them often because of what we went through.

We were so very lucky.

Your story is amazing.

I will have to read his book now and send the title to my friends too.

Hugs to you.

mvd

(65,123 posts)
51. That's so wonderful
Mon Aug 1, 2022, 06:56 PM
Aug 2022

Raskin is a very kind, caring person. I am so happy he talked to you. Recommended. Nothing will will ease the pain of your son’s death, but kind acts like this are great to hear about.

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