According to my cousin, God picks the winner...

[StarryNite]

Quote from my cousin...the one who has been sending me anti Obama forwards for the past six months....

"I'll be so glad when this election is all over. Then we will know who God wants in there. Our two little votes will not swing the election."

So I guess we can all just pack it up and call it a day.

[johnnie]

1. So god picked Obama last time?

So who are they to question god?

[StarryNite]

7. Good point!

I'll remind her of that!

[southernyankeebelle]

14. I was thinking the same thing. Remember when sister Sarah Palin said she was god's

chosen. We saw how that worked out.

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

50. +1

[trof]

44. No, no, no...God was on a break when that happened. here's the story:

Here's what God told me:

"Look, I know I'm supposed to be omnipresent. 'Knows all, sees all' etc.
That's what Gabriel and the rest of the PR group puts out. It makes good copy and seems to soothe the masses, no pun intended. But get real. I mean yes, I'm God, but seriously, I can't be every where ALL the time. That's just impossible. Even for Me.

Once every millenia, or so I have to take a break and recharge the batteries. They're short breaks in my concept of time. Usually a hundred years of less. So I went on break in 1913 in your time.
Yes, a lot of bad things happened. There was a useless war from 1914 to 1918. And a stock market crash in 1929. World-wide depression. I got an alert from my Son and came back on the job long enough to ensure that Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the president of the U.S. until he died. You may be surprised to learn that TOD (Time Of Death) is something I have relatively little control over.

Anyway, I'm back on my interrupted break. No, I have not anointed any specific politicians in any race in your country. Anyone who claims otherwise is Bearing False Witness. That's Commandment Number Nine.

As you may have guessed, I take no interest in your political parties and I won't interfere in your election. I don't bet. Why bet on something when you already know the outcome? But if I did, my money (interesting concept) would be on your current president. He seems to be a good man at heart. But, as I said, I'm back on my interrupted sabbatical so you're on your own.
Best of luck.
(Another concept that really has no meaning for Me.)"

[PDJane]

2. You've managed not to lose your temper entirely? Very good.

I don't think I would have had that much tact.

[StarryNite]

10. It hasn't been easy...

I have written and deleted more messages to her than I can count!

[Politicalboi]

3. It's gonna be a great day for you on Nov 7th

You can tell your cousin, God has chosen.

[StarryNite]

13. That I will!

[onecent]

4. Tell him God helps those that help themselves....lol

My mom used to tell me that.

[redwitch]

22. "Pray but keep rowing toward shore".

I also love the story of the guy who was warned of imminent flooding and told to evacuate by the authorities. He decides to stay and pray. "God will save me" he says.

The water rises. A man in a rowboat comes by offering to row him to safety. He decides to stay and pray. "No thanks, God will save me".

The water rises and he is now on the roof. A helicopter rescue crew flies over and lowers a ladder, "climb up they shout, we'll save you". No thanks, God will save me".

The man drowns. Gets to the Pearly Gates and demands to see God. "God, I prayed so hard, why did you let me drown?"

God: I sent you the weather report, a guy in a rowboat, a helicopter, what is it with some people?

[onecent]

47. That's a good story...I like that. n/t

[Aristus]

62. Never more beautifully retold than in the "West Wing" episode 'Take This Sabbath Day'.

Karl Malden was incredible in that.

[redwitch]

5. That is funny!

I love the idea of God micromanaging everything from lottery tickets to football games to elections. I bet we give him/her massive migraines.

[niyad]

6. that means that god picked georgie boy? apparently, your cousin's god is an idiot

[StarryNite]

18. Don't know about her god...

but my cousin is obviously an idiot!

[rbrnmw]

8. His son is being written in

So I bet that Jesus will win using her logic

No worries I have tons of them in my family too


http://www.votingforjesus.com/

[Liberal_in_LA]

9. .

[revolution breeze]

11. Wait a minute......

The Jehovah's Witnesses I talked to today said God does not get involved in Earthly politics?????????

[mzmolly]

12. Good. He can stay home on

November 6th.

[LiberalFighter]

15. Tell him that his god picked Obama because he doesn't like him.

[gollygee]

16. God has spoken!

Obama is president!

[Fresh_Start]

17. god also picks who gets cancer and heart disease....does that mean no one should

visit a doctor, take medicine, get heart surgery?

[StarryNite]

21. Ironically ...

she and her husband are both in very poor health. But she attributes the fact that they aren't dead yet to all the prayers they are getting.

[Fresh_Start]

34. I know its logic....but....did they pray before they were in poor health?

if so the prayers didn't prevent the poor health so why does she think they'll help now

[redwitch]

24. And apparently which rape victim gets pregnant.

Who prays to such a mean God?

[Selatius]

19. Tell your cousin to stay home. God will vote in your cousin's place if what he says is true. nt

[PD Turk]

20. why do the republicans in congress hate god? nt

[sheshe2]

26. Annnnd WHY do they hate women so much!

[DisgustipatedinCA]

23. Sometimes god is busy working His will with rape victims

Sorry, but your cousin is a simpleton. He/she is not alone, however. I keep seeing this "god's will" crap being applied wherever it's convenient, especially with regard to Richard Mourdock. Mourdock (and his adherents) claim that if a rape-based pregnancy happens, it's god's will. Their protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, this could be applied to ANY event, good or bad, that has ever transpired in the history of this planet:

-Hitler and Stalin kill millions? God's will.
-Ted Haggard having sex with men while inveighing against gays: God's will.
-Your cousin Jane Doe's crib death? God's will.
-The raise you got last year? God's will.
-The layoff you suffered the year before? God's will.

So I agree with you, StarryNite--what's the point in making any decisions in life, if it's all just part of God's plan? I thought questions of predestination were settled by thinking people a few hundred years ago. Oh right...I used the term "thinking people". My fault.

[StarryNite]

28. It's scary to think this is the mentality we are dealing with..

There is a complete lack of logic with people like that. If it's something they agree with, it was God's will. If it's something they disagree with, the devil did it.

[HooptieWagon]

35. Yet people who believe in predestiny/god's will still look both ways before crossing the street...

[StarryNite]

39. Not to mention the heavily reinforced

Popemobile.

[defacto7]

25. Who's going to pick god?

[BigDemVoter]

27. When our President, Barack Obama, wins. . .

Tell him it's god's will and then tell him to shut his pie hole and just accept it.

[Media Lies]

29. I didn't know Diebold was a secret name for God...

You learn something new every day.

[StarryNite]

38. Diebold code name "GOD"

[Media Lies]

58. there's a golden dog on your post...

Let's not let anyone know the secret code for [b010110]God when you spell it backwards.

[mysuzuki2]

30. If I were god I would be really pissed about being blamed for all this shit.

[johnlucas]

31. Make sure to rub it in his face when Obama wins

Put EXTRA emphasis behind that "God picks the winner" line when you do it.
Say that Obama is God's candidate.
That should warp his brain for a good minute or two.
John Lucas

[StarryNite]

51. I did it!

I replied back to my cousin...short and sweet. Here is all I said,

"Well if that's the case, God wanted Obama last time. We'll see what happens this time."

We live on opposite sides of the country so it's not like I will have to sit across the table from her at Thanksgiving....although it would be fun to gloat!

[Bluenorthwest]

32. Which God? She's a Republi-Mormon now, they have many Gods....

Does she mean the one on Kaloob or the one who uses rape as an instrument of his will on Earth? The GOP has many vicious Gods. She will need to be far more specific.

[HooptieWagon]

33. Tell your cousin there's no need for them to vote, then.

[Bucky]

36. It's your duty to convince your cousin, then, that actually voting is expressing doubt in God.

[StarryNite]

37. Good one!

I love it!

[Democratopia]

40. So God picked Obama last time. Who is she to criticise God's decision?

If she believes in God and believes God picks the president, she has no right to criticise God's work. I suggest she is of little faith. Why does she doubt the Lord?

[StarryNite]

42. Exactly!

And she's going to be hearing that from me! I've gotten so many good suggestions from people on here. I tend to reply with long letters to her but so often less is more.

[WhaTHellsgoingonhere]

41. God picked Da Bears on Monday Night!

[StarryNite]

43. Oh, that's right!

I keep forgetting God has favorite sports teams! That crazy god must be a real armchair athlete!

[porphyrian]

45. Ask them who God would pick if no one voted? n/t

[WinkyDink]

46. I hope you have your cousin's number on speed-dial! :-)

[joeybee12]

48. Did God want Hitler to win his election also? nt

[undeterred]

49. God works for Diebold?

[Liberal In Texas]

52. In that case tell your friend not to vote. And tell him to tell his

(no doubt) repuke family not to vote. Seems like a logical thing to do.

[arcane1]

53. He should stay home on election day, as a test of his faith in God

[Qanisqineq]

54. My sister sent me a video

of a preacher in Minneapolis saying that God told him Romney would win. She thinks this guy has the gift of prophesy because he predicted Obama would win in 2008. He's got a 50-50 chance!

[GeorgeGist]

55. Obviously you cousin is an idiot.

[StarryNite]

56. Yes she is.

And unfortunately there are all too many like her. No instincts, just stinks. And that's the mindset we are up against.

[Ilsa]

57. Advise your cousin to stay home on 11/6/12 since god is calling it anyway. nt

[onethatcares]

59. I guess God picked the Tampa Bay Bucs last nite

I bet He really pisses off the vegas bookies though.

[Skidmore]

60. Ask her if her god consulted with Romney's three gods and

his god's wife and concurred.

[WinkyDink]

61. And if Obama wins (when), here is what cousin dear will say: "God is punishing America."

[AspenRose]

63. Ask your cousin if she's been praying for the President

like the passage in I Timothy chapter two says - believers are supposed to pray for those in government

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for ALL PEOPLE (emphasis mine)—for kings *and all those in authority,* that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."

Also ask her if she's praying for her neighbors and her "enemies" (which probably includes liberals).

If your cousin says no, tell her she's not pleasing God.