Tell me something good- Really nice story from my middle school today- AND pronouns

[Thtwudbeme]

I am a middle school librarian now- when I started on DU two decades ago, I was a bartender scrounging money for grad school.

This is going to be kind of a convoluted post because I have two things to write about. We have a new student teacher at our school- I am unsure of how this person identifies, but they prefer "they/ them" to "she/ her."

They are super nice- from a small town in the South...and are doing their student teaching to be a middle school English teacher. Today, I had my Battle of the Books meeting after school- and invited them because 1. we were having hot chocolate and cookies, and more importantly because I wanted them to see what BOB is about and a different side of teaching reading.

My kiddos LOVED them- loved their neon blue hair- offered them more marshmallows, etc. So, that's one thing I want to say: In my opinion kids- all of them- are automatically more accepting of people and their identities. It was SO heartwarming, and the whole 45 minutes was absolutely lovely. Even when I hollered at my team for not knowing the answer to the easiest book!!

Now for the other thing I want to write about. I am having a terrible time switching my pronouns from "he/ her/ she/ him" in an instant. I am struggling, and sincerely do not want to hurt feelings. I am 57 now- and this is new to me. So I had 15 "he/ hers" and one "they/ them" and I screwed up at least 10 times.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks on how to be able to do this without having to think about it? I am struggling here, and feel a little guilty about not being able to pick it up immediately.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. A few things:

* If you get it wrong, just correct yourself and move on. Don't call attention to your error or explain it's hard. Just correct it and keep going.

* Slow down when talking about them.

* Use their name where appropriate, to reduce chances of error.

* If possible, try to note when you use "they" when you're *not* talking about the new teacher -- "You said you had a doctor's appointment; what did they tell you?" "Someone left their backpack here." "Someone called but they didn't leave a message." You probably already use "they" more than you think.

[Thtwudbeme]

3. Good advice

You are correct, and I do appreciate it.

[MomInTheCrowd]

2. This works for me: practice by always using they/them

[Thtwudbeme]

4. Not sure what you mean- Many of my kids

use "he/she," and "him/her" so I DO have to switch-

Can you clarify?

[mcar]

5. What a lovely story!

Thank you for sharing it.

I'm 63. The child (now in 30s) of dear friends came out as transgender a few years ago. It has not gone over well with his Baptist family and, unfortunately, he has some major health issues that means he cannot drive and can't earn enough of a living to live independently. His father is a wonderful man but the family cannot get through this.

I have known this person since he was a cute little 2 YO girl. I have a very hard time with the pronouns but try really hard because he needs acceptance. He totally understands when I mess up.

[Thtwudbeme]

6. Thank you! I think I am going to explain to them

that I am just having trouble switching fast in a conversation, and to please forgive me. They are so wonderful, and I can already see "teacher genes" in them!