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(2,343 posts)
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 08:53 AM Jan 2022

I found out yesterday

from my stepmother (she's only like 10 years older than i, and my dad's 4th wife) that my 71 year old dad is in the ICU with covid. We don't really have a good relationship being that he's a faux news watcher and trump supporter who likes to throw around the "N" word a lot.

I'm shocked (not shocked) that he has covid because he started feeling sick 2 weeks to the day after spending Xmas with his large family. We were invited, but I told my stepmom we weren't going because my 2 year old and 11 year old aren't vaccinated (11 yo got her 1st shot last Tuesday), and I didn't feel comfortable having them around all those people. I got the silent treatment after that, but no skin off my back.

Anyway, stepmom informed us he wasn't feeling well on Saturday and i told my wife, "I guarantee he has covid." My stepmom seemed to not even want to consider that scenario in her text messages she was sending out.

Yesterday, it was confirmed once they went to the hospital that he does indeed have covid and double pneumonia. In my opinion, he may not leave that hospital due to the fact that he's overweight and has an issue with one of his lungs.

Now it's just a waiting game. If he ends up dying, I'll feel bad, but he had every opportunity to get the shot and to not allow himself to be brainwashed by a bunch of far right extremist assholes. But, if that was already his nature, is it really brainwashing? More like confirmation bias I guess.

It has been said many times: covid doesn't discriminate. Get the shot, even if you think it's a hoax or no worse than a cold.

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(51,413 posts)
1. This has to be very emotionally complicated for you, and in its way as hard as if you
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 09:02 AM
Jan 2022

had a good relationship. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Take care of yourself.


(82,607 posts)
2. I wish more people would take COVID seriously.
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 09:26 AM
Jan 2022

It’s tearing families apart. Even worse when you add political complications.

I’m sorry you have to go through this, rownesheck . And with your own father.

Virtual hug.


(17,865 posts)
3. i personally know of 9 friends in all parts of the country who have all three jabs and..
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 09:26 AM
Jan 2022

..are now sick/ or recently recovered from Covid..including my hubby. Not sure which variant but omi is super sticky. Every one of these people were super diligent with masking etc. and thank goodness they only have/had mild to irritating symptoms but so far no one has had to go to the hospital (knock on wood).

You made a good choice for your family..your dad didnt.


(1,000 posts)
6. Children learn what they live
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 09:48 AM
Jan 2022

pretty damn sad when it has to be "what not to do." Protecting your children comes first, that is doing it right!


(15,843 posts)
7. Sorry to hear this. Very complex...
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 09:49 AM
Jan 2022

I don't know if you ever had any good times w your dad.

My relationship got tricky after he got ill a second time, my early ?30's, recovered against n, then esp the third timeLoved him still, often didn't like him.
When I was quite young on occasion he got angry and yelled. He was under extra stresses, extra stress I had due my mom (his wife) getting unexpectedly very ill for a while (better over time!).

When I got into age 7-8 I was less prone to big upsets. He was usually sweeter, and fun loving.

I guess if there's anything positive that you remember maybe convey to him through whomever you think is best to do that for.

Just a thought.

Eventually my dad got ill in a different way through an accident, but he became usually very sweet. It was both tricky, but also way more loving again. So we parted on much better terms.

Good luck to you.


(33,197 posts)
8. I feel for you.
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 10:03 AM
Jan 2022

We can't pick our family, we get what we get. I only have one living relative and if he weren't my brother, I doubt that he would be my friend. I do talk with him weekly. We have a lot of history shared.
Hope you and yours stay safe.


(108 posts)
9. Regardless of your relationship
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 10:35 AM
Jan 2022

it still must be difficult for you. I hope for your sake that everything works out as best as it can for you.

Sunny Daze

(209 posts)
10. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 10:42 AM
Jan 2022

Praying he recovers, gets vaccinated and convinces others to do the same.


(33,950 posts)
12. You used good judgment skipping the Christmas party
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 11:33 AM
Jan 2022

Sorry about your father, and I hope he makes it through. But be prepared for the worst.


(18,227 posts)
15. Thanks for thinking about your kids first.
Mon Jan 10, 2022, 08:09 PM
Jan 2022

I’m sorry about your Dad. Thank goodness you had the good judgement to put your family’s safeguard first. Good luck with everything.

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