Devin Nunes Rides Cow Into Sunset

[crickets]

Whenever the headlines are getting me down, Wonkette delivers at least one that makes me laugh. 😄

https://www.wonkette.com/devin-nunes-rides-cow-into-sunset

Nunes leaves quite a legacy in the House, especially from back when Republicans were in the majority and he served as the severely underqualified chair of the House Intelligence Committee. That's right, the person about whom it was once said (and not even by us) that "No one is asking him to bring the potato salad to the Mensa picnic" was the chair of the intelligence committee.

We are not sure, but we think we started really keeping tabs on Nunes just after that night in March of 2017, when he ninja kicked his way out of an Uber so he could sprint to the White House to tell the White House what the White House had just told him about how there was PROOF that Barack Obama personally put "wire tapps" inside Donald Trump's bottom. From there we were off to the races.

[snip for a tragicomic rundown of some of Devin Nunes' greatest hits]

Anyway, within a month, Wonkette was calling him "Devin Nunes, Cow Detective" and making all other manner of cow jokes. We should be clear obviously that we have no inside knowledge of Devin Nunes ever dating a cow or even having to kiss one during a game of spin the bottle, but if any cows have stories, they are always free to tell us them.

Point is, we bet Devin Nunes quitting Congress to take a job running "company" for Donald Trump is a good move and nothing but good will come of it.

Fly high on the back of a cow that has wings, Devin Nunes!

And good riddance!

[Thomas Hurt]

1. He thinks that four years of kissing the Pig's ass won him something....tsk, tsk.

[malaise]

2. Moo!

Happy New Ywar.

[crickets]

4. Mooo! Happy New Year to yoo too! 🥰

[keithbvadu2]

3. GOP Rep. Defends Devin Nunes By Claiming 'He Works For The President'

GOP Rep. Defends Devin Nunes By Claiming ‘He Works For The President’

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/devin-nunes-ted-yoho-trump_us_58dd24b8e4b05eae031dad44

When MSNBC host Craig Melvin asked Rep. Ted Yoho (R-Fla.) if it was appropriate for Nunes, the House Intelligence Committee chairman, to meet with a source on White House grounds the day before announcing he had reason to believe the Trump team was subject to “incidental” surveillance, Yoho insisted it was fine because Nunes “works for the president.”

“You’ve got to keep in mind who he works for,” Yoho said. “He works for the president. He answers to the president.”

[vanlassie]

10. He sure as hell never worked for his constituents.

All I ever got from him was a nasty letter.

[vanlassie]

11. And it's adding insult to injury that Kevin McCarthy

is my new rep. What the hell am I doing here?

[WHITT]

5. Yee Ha!

[Deuxcents]

6. Wish the media

Would be quick to remind these guests that Mr Biden is the President n we only have one at a time.

[mahina]

7. So few opportunities to sing the Cow Cow Boogie.

This is one. Bye Devin.

[Hekate]

8. Happy trials --er, trails-- cowboy

[Blue Owl]

9. Go chew the cud somewhere else, Devin...

[abqtommy]

12. Wasn't this udderly predictable? Time to be moo-ving on, Devin. nt

[Walleye]

13. I tend to credit cows with better taste in men

[BobTheSubgenius]

14. Wonkette is fantastic.

[phone] for Wonkette!

[old as dirt]

15. Atom Heart Mother - Pink Floyd

[Paladin]

16. Another savage take-down by Evan Hurst at wonkette.com!

All hail Evan Hurst and wonkette.com!

[OriginalGeek]

17. With all disrespect, fuck on off, Devin

(NB: Cattle Decapitation is a mostly vegan band writing songs from the POV of the animals we kill and about humans negative impact on the environment. I suspect they are also not fans of Nunes)