Cafe Sign Looking for Staff Who 'Doesn't Cry, Is Never Late, Has No Excuses' Blasted Online

[left-of-center2012]

A café sign advertising vacant positions has been slammed online, after the chain claimed they were looking for staff members who don't cry, are never late and have "no excuses." A snap of the note, which has the branding for the popular juice chain Kreation, was shared to Twitter by Jenson Titus on Monday, where it amassed more than 34,000 likes.

It causes quite a stir online, as SpencerMagne wrote: "Am I crazy or did they just write a job requirement for a slave?"

Not everyone was against the note, as Evil Morty wrote: "Where does this note blame anyone? You want a person that is always late with lame excuses and cries every week? A person who doesn't do the job and let the others with more work to do? Obviously you never managed a team in your life."

The job pays $15 an hour plus tips, with prospective employees required to "be able to stand during entire shift, often up to 8 hours with frequent bending, squatting, and lifting plates, boxes, and objects up to 30 pounds up to 5 times per shift. "Champions Kreation Service with energetic, friendly, and prompt greetings immediately upon making eye contact with guests." As well as being able to work evenings and weekends, the ideal candidate is "energetic, fun, and friendly."

https://www.newsweek.com/cafe-sign-staff-doesnt-cry-never-late-no-excuses-kreation-juice-1657227

[MineralMan]

1. How Many Pieces of Flair Must They Wear on the Job?

That's my question...

[Caliman73]

14. I've got your flair right here!

Love that movie.

[dalton99a]

2. Get a fucking robot and put a smiley sticker on it

[luckone]

26. There are robot rentals/ purchases but not at $15/hr. 🙄 what holistic assholes

[leftieNanner]

3. The one that bothered me the most?

"Has an Open Schedule"

That means, don't expect to have regular work days or hours. Need to plan for child care? Sucks for you.

[obamanut2012]

5. "We will give you your week's schedule the night before it starts."

"And, keep those days off open! We are actually on-call to fill in!!!!"

"Taking college classes online? LOL who cares? Fuck your class schedule!"

[PatSeg]

8. Yes, I've known retailers like that

The schedules are so erratic and inconsistent, that employees can't take a second job or have any kind of a personal life.

[leftieNanner]

15. I worked retail in San Francisco in the early 80s

Had a great manager who gave us regular schedules and was happy to accommodate our real lives.

She was promoted and they brought in a power-hungry lunatic who seemed to delight in giving us the worst options. When the store decided to be open until 11 pm between Thanksgiving and New Years, most department managers assigned workers one or two nights per week of the late schedule. I got an entire week of it. Needless to say, he didn't last long.

[PatSeg]

20. Such lunatic managers are far too common

I often wonder if companies choose management from the least qualified individuals available. Apparently there are very few decent training programs for managers in the business world. It still blows my mind.

[obamanut2012]

28. CA passed a law not allowing that anymore

Every state should.

[Hekate]

32. LeftieNanner and Obamanut spotted it absolutely dead on. Don't expect to have a personal life ...

… in any respect. Sucks to be you.

Back when I was pretty desperate for a full time job to support me and the kids, there were some interviews I turned off (politely, because you never know, do you?) when I realized that it wasn’t so much that I needed to prioritize work, but that work could spread out indefinitely and my children would be dead last. I said I didn’t think it would be a good fit.

[Wingus Dingus]

34. Yeah, "Open Schedule" means all the hours, or none of the hours, or a few of the hours, or

really, whatever our whims are on any given day. You'll be here when we want you here and gone when we're slow. Just keep your schedule open and your mouth shut!

[wcmagumba]

4. I'm sure there is a stampede of prospects for that job...

[PatSeg]

6. "Has No Bullsh*t"?

Oh, that is very enticing.

Perhaps if they stated the qualifications as positive, instead of negative, it would be more appealing. Instead of "Is never late", it should read, "punctual". "Smiles no matter what" rather implies the job is pure hell. "Friendly faces" would probably attract more prospects. And "Doesn't cry"??? What kind of a business are they running?

I have a feeling they are not going to find "That Special Person". It seems that their employee problems are more likely because of management failures.

[Journeyman]

11. Touch! . . .

"It seems that their employee problems are more likely because of management failures."

Well phrased.

[PatSeg]

17. Thanks

Comes from many years in retail.

[Caliman73]

16. They often are.

Failure in staff is often failure in leadership.

I have often said that I would follow a good leader into Hell, but I wouldn't follow a bad leader into Heaven. The hallmark of good leadership is that they make you want to perform at your best. They do not demand it from you, but they make you want to do it because you are invested in the success of the mission.

[PatSeg]

23. Oh yes, very well said

It is a matter of inspiring, not intimidating employees to do a good job.

[ProfessorGAC]

29. Very, Very Often

I was on an interview team a few years back.
One candidate (engineering gig) was a pleasant, affable guy, 8-9 years of experience, (different market segment), and knew his stuff.
Along with 2 others on the team, I recommended against because I didn't think he'd handle the pace of that particular job.
The guy to whom he'd be reporting agreed, then hired him because he was a vet.
He didn't work out. Lasted under a year.
Upended his life, put that department a year behind, but really did nothing wrong. He was a bad fit.
The only person to blame was the manager.

[LakeArenal]

19. Hey, the Bullshit starts at the top....obviously.

[PatSeg]

24. Yeah and anyone crass enough

to include that word on a retail window sign probably is not going to be a decent employer. Also they are not apt to get my business as a customer either.

[chowder66]

25. +1

[Cracklin Charlie]

7. Who would walk in and apply for a job with that description?

Employers should be nice, too. That’s not nice.

[Caliman73]

18. I would not.

They are looking for a particular type of employee.

Someone who subscribes to "asshole culture". Someone who maybe seeks out mildly abusive relationships. Someone who is bright, but unsure of themselves, who would take that form of quasi abusive management style.

They likely have high turnover.

[Ohio Joe]

9. Lets take a look at what they pay for this...

Barista / Smoothie Production - $15hr +Tips (in LA) - Fuck That, you want perfection+, you better offer pay to match

https://kreation.bamboohr.com/jobs/view.php?id=300&source=kreationjuice

Cook - $17hr +Tips +Bonus (unexplained) - So... Cooks get part of the Tips, take note Baristas. Still... $17hr for a cook in LA is shit, bottom of the barrel pay.

https://kreation.bamboohr.com/jobs/view.php?id=240&source=kreationjuice

Manager - $24 - $28hr +Tips +bonus (again unexplained) So... Managers also get part of the tips... Sheesh, the Baristas really get screwed at this place.

https://kreation.bamboohr.com/jobs/view.php?id=275&source=kreationjuice

Combined with the way they look for help... Fuck this place, I would not even be a customer. My niece makes more working as a cashier at the local gas station outside Boulder Colorado ($17.50 plus so so benies).

[mopinko]

27. managers get a cut of the tips? gtfooh.

[dalton99a]

10. Sure sounds like a toxic place.

[Tetrachloride]

12. I showed up every day on time.

i generally liked my jobs. i thought they were easier than other companies. I improved week by week. Usually.

[Stuart G]

13. REMEMBER THIS IDEA, ' When you think you have seen it all...THERE IS ALWAYS MORE"

........ALWAYS....ALWAYS...ALWAYS....AND ALWAYS........again..time to hide..

[LakeArenal]

21. Imagine being married to these people.

Or the kids of such a family.

[Jim__]

22. Shorter version: Looking for someone absolutely desperate enough to take this shit job!

[Jacson6]

30. Yeah, They are looking to hire a single psychopath to staff their Restuarant.

[onethatcares]

31. is there a 90 day probationary period?

or is that double secret?

[Hekate]

35. Without a doubt

[Silent3]

33. Given that "organic" itself is mostly bullshit...

...that makes this even worse.