Historical data on people under 30 who have had zero opposite sex sexual partners since turning 18

[OnlinePoker]

I got this on Reddit's Data is Beautiful subreddit. The information is gleaned from the General Social Survey (link below). The link to the Reddit thread is also included.



Survey Site - https://gss.norc.org/get-the-data/spss

Reddit Thread - https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/qz3pri/oc_share_of_individuals_under_age_30_who_report/

[hfojvt]

1. What happened in 2008?

Marriage equality?
Do they have data about those who have not had ANY sexual partners?

[OnlinePoker]

2. Housing crash?

I guess people took comfort where they could.

[CentralMass]

3. Increased social media usage ?

[Haggard Celine]

4. That could certainly be part of it.

It's a whole lot easier for GLBT people to meet these days. There's probably not as much getting into a straight relationship/marriage because "that's what you're supposed to do." There's simply a lot more tolerance in our society today, and that translates into people having the freedom to live openly and without as much of a stigma, although the old prejudices still come to the surface under the right circumstances. The freedom to follow your heart in life is a precious thing, and I'm glad that a lot more people have that ability today.

[cinematicdiversions]

5. Young Men as a group are a lot less attractive then they used to be.

Fewer have college degrees or good paying jobs. Many are physically less in shape and socially awkward.

These are not good circumstances.

[Calculating]

8. It's also the effect social media has on the expectations of females

They tend to follow these Instagram influencers and such, and it gives them an unreasonable expectation of the lifestyle a man should be able to give them. Don't settle, you deserve prince charming is the message they're getting. As a result you end up with the majority of women seeking top 20% men.

Don't get me wrong, young men today have a lot of issues too regarding things that make them attractive to a mate(physical shape, earnings, not living at home, etc), but it's far from a one-sided issue.

[malletgirl02]

17. It could also be

That the stigma for a women not being in a relationship is lower now. Also unlike in the past fewer women need a man to survive. Maybe more women now prefer to do their own thing than try to please a man? Maybe fewer women today need to be desired by a man to feel they have worth?

[yardwork]

18. I don't know any women who feel that way.

[MrsCoffee]

44. +1

[Scrivener7]

28. This is pretty laughable. Very MRA.

"Men aren't having sex because women won't let them!"

[leftstreet]

36. +1

Very cringe

[Calculating]

37. Well what is your explanation?

Why is the celibacy number way higher for men than women? It's too easy to say "young men today just suck"

[Scrivener7]

39. See my post #26. It fits the data much better.

[cinematicdiversions]

38. That certainly is accurate in some cases.

Hardly an MRA stance. More a logical conclusion.

[Scrivener7]

40. More women are having sex than men, so you conclude that WOMEN are too choosey.

Yeah. That makes sense. Totally logical.

[cinematicdiversions]

41. Huh... I am not concluding anything.

Apparently, one on four men cannot socialize to the level of an intoxicated high schooler is about all I have concluded from this article.

[malletgirl02]

47. So by not having sex

Means one is not able to socialize? I am a woman who has never have sex, and I have better manners than most people.

[yardwork]

46. And we wimmen follow social influencers, don't you know.

[Scrivener7]

52. Also, the fact that WE are having more sex is proof that WE are too choosy, and therefore

the large number of men not having sex is our fault.

Can't make this shit up.

[yardwork]

53. I know!

[treestar]

54. women have careers now

they don't expect a man to "give" them a lifestyle.

Men also seek the top 20% women, wasn't there some article that all the men want the women in their 20s or some such shit?

[JI7]

6. Young adults are probably more likely to live with parents and social media

Just being less likely to meet others in person probably contributes a lot to it .

[Silent3]

7. I wonder why it's just about opposite-sex partners?

Were only people who identified as hetero surveyed? Are they just ignoring homosexual relationships for no good reason?

[Haggard Celine]

10. I'm assuming that gay men and lesbians are

included with the rest of those who haven't had sex with the opposite sex. I agree with you, though, they should have asked people if they had sex with the same sex or with no one at all. I tend to think that the percentage of people who haven't had sex these days is very low. Many of the people who haven't had sex with the opposite sex since they were 18 had some experiences when they were younger, though. But I, too, would have liked it if they had asked these people if they were strictly homosexual or if they were celibate (or incels). I guess they couldn't ask if they were incels

[janterry]

13. among the younger lesbians that I'm friends with

The dating scene is in shambles. Many of them can't even find lesbians as friends, much less dating partners.

[Haggard Celine]

16. That's sad.

I wonder why that is. I had a lesbian friend several years ago who had trouble finding a girlfriend, but it was more due to the fact that she was kind of choosy. She was looking for a more feminine woman like herself. It seems that the lesbians around here tend to be more butch, at least the ones who are out are. She later moved down to Florida and had much better luck down there.

I'm sorry your friends are having such a difficult time. I wonder if it's Covid-related. There are much fewer lesbians than gay men, so their choices can be pretty limited if they don't live in a large city. Once you've gone out with everyone in the group, there isn't much else to do except meet people on the internet, I guess. That must really suck, but at least they have that option, which wasn't there when I was growing up.

[Celerity]

49. Certainly not here (Stockholm), and the internet has made things so easy to find

people and hook up, if that is what you are looking for.

The dating scene is in shambles. Many of them can't even find lesbians as friends, much less dating partners.

What area is this, if you do not mind sharing that info?

[malletgirl02]

21. Yeah in order to be a valid

person one has to had sex
Why is it ok to mock other people's lack of sexual experience? I actually had a doctor's who was dismissive of me due my lack of sexual experience due to him having difficulty getting his speculum during a gynecological in me, because I was so tight. I was so ashamed it was years before I went to a gynecologist again. Sexual shaming is wrong.

[Haggard Celine]

22. Huh?

I'm not mocking anyone. I'm just talking about people who want to have sex and be in a relationship who aren't able to for whatever reason. If you don't want to have sex, that's fine with me, I'm just saying that it's unusual, just as it's unusual to like certain foods. There's nothing wrong with it.

[Silent3]

29. You are mocking people who wish to have sex, but can't find a partner n/t

[Haggard Celine]

30. Well, if I'm doing that, I apologize.

I don't want to hurt anyone; that isn't what I set out to do. Please forgive me.

[meadowlander]

9. Or people in 1989 were more likely to lie about their sex lives.

Nobody was getting laid wearing this:

[LiberatedUSA]

14. So that is where LulaRue gets its color schemes!n/t

[DenaliDemocrat]

42. Those pencil-necks weren't getting laid

But for those of us meat heads who HAD to wear genie pants because we worshipped at the squat rack and we’re NOT fitting into 501’s - they worked as good as a corvette or Iroc for sexy times!

[progree]

11. Hmm, the last year of the survey was 2018. I bet its even higher during the pandemic /nt

[Tomconroy]

12. It appears that it is far more likely to have sex if you are a

Woman than if you are a man these days.
So how's that going out there?

[Bernardo de La Paz]

15. (Certainly noteworthy graph) The OP was about "opposite sex", excluding same sex.

(Sorry Tom, not meaning to pick on you. As a programmer I'm almost reflexively detail oriented. And to be fair, even accounting for homosexual orientations, your contention probably still holds because of high proportion of heterosexuals.)

It certainly is a noteworthy graph. Makes me wonder too.

One explanation could be men on average have become less attractive, perhaps more long-bearded and rotund in some parts of the country. I read on DU the term "unfuckable" that some women give, occasioned by a photo in a thread of some rotund long-bearded guys occupying a state legislature with military-style rifles.

Or perhaps the percentage of homosexual men is considerably higher than previously estimated and young ones haven't figured out the codes to find mates.

Society has become more tolerant and accepting of homosexuality over many years, but the whole issue of sexual identity has become more tangled and yet more fluid (no pun intended) in recent years so there are more people being tolerant of their own sexuality and less self-policing.

Even so, media are a bit slow to catch up and the dominant depiction of sexual codes (flirting, come-ons, signalling) is still almost exclusively heterosexual.

Those two hypotheses are all I can think of at the moment.

[muriel_volestrangler]

27. Or women, on average, are less likely to have no sex at all when a young adult

The actual figure the graph shows ought to be born in mind. It's a survey of 18-30 year olds; for the youngest, it's "have you have sex in the last year?" (or whatever), while for the oldest it's "have you had sex in the last 12 years?". This may indicate the amount of partners they have around their own age; it could also be influenced by women having partners a bit older than them - women in their late twenties with men in their early thirties, for instance. It may be that, recently, there is a significant cohort of men not having sex, and possibly without prospects of it, too; while women rarely have "droughts" of many years without sex.

[Klaralven]

19. Barely Half of U.S. Adults Are Married - A Record Low

This is old, from 2011, but I'd bet that the trend continued.

In the United States, the declines have occurred among all age groups, but are most dramatic among young adults. Today, just 20% of adults ages 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59% in 1960. Over the course of the past 50 years, the median age at first marriage has risen by about six years for both men and women.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2011/12/14/barely-half-of-u-s-adults-are-married-a-record-low/

[WhiskeyGrinder]

20. I wish this graph meant that our culture has made it safer for young people, particularly men, to

realize they aren't straight.

[malletgirl02]

23. Is there anything wrong

with not having sex? Does one need to have sex to be a valid person?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

24. Nope, and I wish we had a better understanding of that fact as well.

[Johonny]

25. We are increasingly isolated society

I'm struggling now with my kids. When I was their age I merely walked out of my house and their were half dozen kids regularly I could just play with. Today everything is play dates. If I don't have time to organize my kids social life, they stay home. If they go outside, there is no one outside to play with. Everyone else is inside. It's a very isolated world.

[uponit7771]

55. +1

[Scrivener7]

26. No one in the thread has yet mentioned the unrealistic

expectations that ubiquitous porn gives men.

My niece who is in the dating world says many men she has encountered simply dismiss normal women because they don't conform to the porn ideal and cannot arouse them.

I'm totally going to take heat for pointing that out. But everyone in the thread is talking about women rejecting less attractive men. Suggesting the trend is caused by women's "choosiness." Yet women are having more sex. My explanation fits the data a lot better.

[mopinko]

31. truly a thing.

[SYFROYH]

32. Except that there isn't a porn ideal anymore.

Every body shape, size, age, kink or no kink, and general appearance is out there for free in mass quantity at sites like Pornhub and Xvideos.

[Scrivener7]

34. Yup. And if that is where your arousal patterns have developed, what real woman having

run-of-the-mill sex is going to arouse you?

[Johnny2X2X]

33. This is not surprising to me

As an adult male pushing 50, I have family and interns at work who fall into this age group. This age group is just more serious than we were when we were 20 somethings. They are more mature and aware of the consequences of poor choices. These kids grew up in an era where hanging out after school and wasting time isn't a thing like it was, it's a group that has gone through grade and high school with after school activities ad infinitum.

Kids are more academically competitive, they're more career driven, and they're simply more mature. Getting wasted and hooking up at the end of the night is just less prevalent than before. Other kids just stay in and play online or play video games.

27% of men under 30 is just a staggering number though to me, crazy.

[Ron Obvious]

43. More serious, you think?

To me, they seem more joyless and too uptight to even flirt or engage in harmless banter with the opposite sex.

[malletgirl02]

45. Just because one doesn't

Doesn't mean one is joyless. People who have sex get their privacy, but everyone has their noses in the business of those who don't have sex. I am tired of judgmental people.

[ProfessorGAC]

56. That's Not What The Poster Said

You are the one linking sex, or lack thereof, to joy.
The poster to whom you relied made no such link.
One can infer a sense of joy or "uptightness" without even considering their sexual activity status.
While I've known people i sensed to be joyless, some were those who had kids, so obviously they were having sex.
I never remotely considered whether the amount of sexual activity was a contributor to the joylessness.
So, your reply seems misplaced.
You're grinding your axe on someone else's wheel.

[meadowlander]

35. Another contributing factor could be environmental pollutants on hormone levels.

How well do we really understand the cumulative effects of environmental toxins on libido?

[Celerity]

48. I wish that data was more up to date, so we could see what effects COVID had.

[OnlinePoker]

51. From the site, it looks like they do the survey every 2 years.

I'm wondering if they skipped the 2020 version because of COVID.

[hunter]

50. My mind went a little sideways with adolescence.

When I was twelve years old I knew everything. By the time I quit high school that knowledge was scattered all over the place and the certainty was gone. It took me nine years to graduate from college. I really didn't get my head back together until I was 25.

It seems to me these hormonal earthquakes and restructurings of the mind happens to most humans -- sometimes mildly, and sometimes with terrible consequences such as in schizophrenia or suicidal depression.

One thing I knew as a young adult was that sex would further complicate my complicated and chaotic life, possibly more than I could bear. I didn't cross that line until I met my wife, and that was after I'd achieved some level of stability.

I wasn't asexual, I had friends I held hands with, played footsies with in restaurants and libraries, friends I leaned against on long bus or car trips, friends I'd seen naked as they'd seen me... but no sex. Nevertheless, sexually mild as they were, these relationships tended to end catastrophically, for me anyways.

Hmmmph. Those kids today.... Maybe they're not feeling deprived of sexual encounters, maybe they're just being sensible.

Not to claim I was sensible. I was just crazy.