St Pat's Joke: Q- who's green and sits in your backyard?

[Sibelius Fan]

A- Patty O’Furniture

[zipplewrath]

1. Two Irishmen walk out of a pub.

Well, it could happen ya know.

[gratuitous]

2. There's a neighborhood bar about five blocks from my house

It only takes a few minutes to walk there, but about two hours to walk home. The difference is staggering.

[zipplewrath]

3. 20 minutes there, 30 minutes back

Irish pub about twenty minute walk FROM here. Always seems to be a 30 minute walk back.

[ananda]

4. I always heard it as: What do you get when..

you cross an Irishman and a lawnchair?

[Geechie]

6. Good one! nt

[mopinko]

10. i heard it- what's green and stay out all night?

[Geechie]

5. Thank you! This is my favorite St Patty's Day joke EVER. nt

[marble falls]

7. An armed hooded robber bursts in to peel the the Bank of Ireland.

On his way out the door with the loot, a customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy. He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking at him and the robber walks over and shoots him also. Everyone by now looking down at the floor.
"Sure, and did anyone else see my face?", screams the robber.

After a pause, one elderly gent tentatively raises his hand and says, ''I think me wife may have caught a glimpse.''

[Permanut]

8. Perfect day to honor our former Irish President..

Barack O'bama.

[MadLinguist]

9. Theres no one as Irish as Barack OBama- Corrigan Brothers

Always loved this

[TlalocW]

11. Two Irish city-workers

Are filling in potholes near a well-known house of ill-repute, and they see a Protestant preacher come around the corner, look around furtively, then enter.
"Ah, tis a shame, tis is. A man o' the cloth acting like that," says one.
"Tis true," replies his friend.
Ten more minutes of working, and the town's only Rabbi comes around the corner and does the same as the preacher earlier.
"Oh, is it no wonder the world is in the state it is when you see such a thing?" exclaims one.
"Aye. This will come to no good, it will," says his friend.
Ten more minutes, and a Catholic priest rounds the corner, repeats the actions of the other two, and enters.
"Ah, Mary and Joseph. What a shame that is! One of the poor lasses must be on her deathbed" says one.
"Aye. And she called for last rites no doubt. What a good man the Father is," replies his friend.

TlalocW