I was brought up Roman Catholic. Mom was a fanatic and dad was just in a charismatic group. Lots of fights about religion in my home. I went to catholic school too. Was taught by nuns mostly. This situation made me become apathetic toward Catholicism. Pair that with marrying in the Catholic Church to an abusive, drug addict, I was a wreck. I had three little girls. I was so lonely. My family wasn’t supportive. And low and behold ... enter the Jehovah’s Witnesses and their proselytizing.
It was almost as if I was in a haze. I went from being lonely to having a worldwide brotherhood of people who love bombed me. They offered the support and family life I was desperate for. They spoke against the Catholic Church and I could totally relate to all they were saying. They gave me an immediate hope that “the end of this system of things (the world)” was right around the corner and I would live free and happy in a paradise earth forever with my three little girls!
After about a year of studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I began to be pressured to get baptized. I didn’t feel ready. But I sensed that it was part of the deal. If I didn’t get baptized I would become unworthy association and those people from the congregation whom I had begun to rely on to fill the empty hole that was my life, would fade away. Baptism to the organization is a contract. It means you renounce all other worldly things and people. It meant I would renounce my family too. And I had already left them behind anyway. I no longer saw them for worldly holidays such as Christmas. No participation in birthdays. And the only excuse to spend time with them was to find opportunities to proselityze.
And that I did! I recruited my baby sister whom I was the closest to since the day she came home from the hospital. She dove in immediately. While a JW I found out my abusive husband was also a cheater, got divorced and remarried to a JW man.
Fast forward a couple of years and the fog started to clear. I began to see the imperfections in the congregation. The same imperfections I had seen in the Roman Catholic Church. Some of the people began to be people I didn’t necessarily want to spend forever with. And the thought of Jehovah killing my entire family at Armageddon didn’t sound like a good thing anymore. But how do I leave? I’m baptized!! If I leave I will be shunned by everyone I had established friendships with. It meant my own baby sister would be left behind and it meant she would shun me, not even looking at me or saying hello!!!
I didn’t have a relationship with my baby sister for 20 years after I left “The Truth”. I was not even invited to her wedding. I lost all my friends. But I did meet my husband of 24 years there and he left with me, my three daughters and our little son. We had to move away because the elders continuously came knocking on our door trying to pressure us to come back.
Currently, I am reestablishing a relationship with my little sister. The catch is I have to allow her to proselytize to me and I have to attend meetings of her college gregarios once in a while. Basically, I have to give her conscience a reason to allow her to speak to me. I walk a fine line.
Living in a cult is giving up freedom of thought and belief. Leaving a cult means you have to keep a foot in for the rest of your life if you care about a single person stuck inside.
Needless to say, I do not recommend it.
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