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Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:25 PM

Trump Praises Woodrow Wilson for Opposing Online Learning During 1918 Pandemic

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a rare instance of praising one of his White House predecessors, Donald J. Trump on Tuesday hailed Woodrow Wilson for opposing efforts to institute online learning during the 1918 pandemic.

“There were a lot of crybabies in 1918 saying, ‘The schools aren’t safe—let the kids learn on their computers,’ ” Trump told reporters at the White House. “Woody wouldn’t hear of it.”

Instead, Trump said, “Kids went to school and the influenza just kind of disappeared eventually. Woody did a fantastic job.”

Trump added that, during the 1918 pandemic, “The hallways of schools were jammed with kids. I wish one of those kids had taken a picture with his phone so we could see it today.”

Wilson’s opposition to online learning inspired Trump to demand in-person schooling for all American children, he revealed.

“It’s important for them to be in school so they can be as knowledgeable about history as I am,” he said. “The pandemic of 1918 was one of the main causes of the War of 1812.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-praises-woodrow-wilson-for-opposing-online-learning-during-1918-pandemic


Photograph from Bettmann / Getty


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Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump Praises Woodrow Wilson for Opposing Online Learning During 1918 Pandemic (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 Aug 11 OP
Hoyt Aug 11 #1
brer cat Aug 12 #13
lapfog_1 Aug 11 #2
PatSeg Aug 11 #5
PatSeg Aug 11 #3
UTUSN Aug 11 #4
Rhiannon12866 Aug 11 #7
dweller Aug 11 #10
AmericanCanuck Aug 11 #6
mshasta Aug 11 #8
captain queeg Aug 11 #9
SiliconValley_Dem Aug 11 #11
Historic NY Aug 12 #12
trackfan Aug 12 #14
Rhiannon12866 Aug 12 #15
StevieM Aug 12 #17
ornotna Aug 12 #16
Totally Tunsie Aug 12 #18
Rhiannon12866 Aug 12 #19

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:27 PM

1. With trump, these headlines are so believable.

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Response to Hoyt (Reply #1)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 12:33 AM

13. It gets harder by the day to pick up satire.

He is such a moron it's all believable.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:29 PM

2. The hard part of parody and Trump

is that he actually could have said that, no matter how stupid... the giveaway that this is parody is correctly identifying that the pandemic was in 1918 and not 1917 as the actual Trump would have said.

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Response to lapfog_1 (Reply #2)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:30 PM

5. Jinx!

We said the basically the same thing at the same time!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:29 PM

3. I knew that wasn't real

because Trump would have called it the 1917 pandemic!!!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:29 PM

4. Him again didn't get me!1 Does he have a column every day?!1

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Response to UTUSN (Reply #4)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:34 PM

7. I think it depends on the news of the day

He obviously looks to the latest Trump crazy behavior or statement of the day/hour for inspiration. Yesterday he wrote 2...

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Response to UTUSN (Reply #4)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:38 PM

10. he's a scrivener

thus he scribbles, daily ...

✌🏼

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:32 PM

6. This is ridiculously funny

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:35 PM

8. Lol

Always right on the money

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:36 PM

9. Woody is an odd looking duck. But compared to blotus he's quite handsome.

I’ll be so glad after the election not to have to see or hear that abomination again.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:39 PM

11. to be brilliant satire, he would have Trump referring to 1917 pandemic

 

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 12:30 AM

12. not enough length.

[link:|]

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 01:10 AM

14. When I saw the thread I was 50-50 on whether it would turn out to be satire.

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Response to trackfan (Reply #14)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 01:12 AM

15. That's a fair bet

There's an equal chance that it could be actual Trump news...

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Response to trackfan (Reply #14)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 01:33 AM

17. Same. (eom)

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 01:16 AM

16. The flu pandemic was in 1917

Get it right damn it!


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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 03:48 AM

18. But...

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Response to Totally Tunsie (Reply #18)

Wed Aug 12, 2020, 04:18 AM

19. LOL!

He must have read Trump's Tweets!

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