Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Month of November

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump stirred controversy on Friday by signing an executive order that would ban the month of November.

While legal scholars protested that he did not have the right to reduce the number of months in a year from twelve to eleven, Trump argued that “the Constitution doesn’t say anything about how many months you have to have.”

“All of those smart guys like Jefferson and Madison, those beauties, this is something they didn’t think of,” he said. “I got them on the months.”

Trump said that eliminating November from the calendar was “long overdue,” calling it “a rigged month.”

“November is a hoax,” he said. “Some people say it may not even be a real month.”

Responding to a reporter’s question about the future of Thanksgiving, Trump said that “nobody will miss it.”

“Just ask anyone in this country,” he said. “Nobody has anything to be thankful for.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-signs-executive-order-banning-month-of-november

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. That is too damn funny, my dear Rhiannon!

I'm sure he would........IF he could.

[Rhiannon12866]

3. I have no doubt that this hasn't crossed his mind!

He is that desperate!

[Wounded Bear]

2. "Nobody has anything to be thankful for"...

a grain of truth.

[In_The_Wind]

4. Well, that's one way to avoid losing the election this year.

Not gonna happen. Step aside for #46.

[mwooldri]

5. Election Day can be October 34th.

As for my birthday - I personally don't celebrate it anymore so November being scrapped is OK in that regard.

But then Thanksgiving... If the election goes the right way we will have a lot to be thankful for.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Well, if you mention here on DU that it's your birthday, I'm betting DUers will celebrate with you

As for Thanksgiving, as long as the election goes our way, there will undoubtedly be unprecedented givings of thanks from sea to shining sea! But we absolutely can't let our guard down since we'll still have 2 months of Trump and there's no telling what traitorous shenanigans he'll be up to!

[Totally Tunsie]

6. Jeebus - Too close to the possible.

[OverBurn]

8. I'm filing suit, I was born in November, I DO NOT accept no Birthday presents for Me :-)

[Rhiannon12866]

9. Seems like I know a lot of people born in November as well, and they would sure object

I have a feeling that this is something that never crossed The Donald's mind, since it doesn't affect him. Just out of curiosity, I looked to see if any of his kids were born in November, but they seemed to have skipped that month, the two girls were born on October and Junior in December, but I'm guessing that wouldn't matter to him, anyway...

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

11. I was also born in Nov, and I support Trump 100% on this. I'll have another year at this age. nt

[OverBurn]

16. I hadn't thought of that, no Birthdays, I will never age. I will live forever!

[whistler162]

17. Same thought here to bad

it came so late in life.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

19. Dang, you're right. Eternity as a 70-something? Uh, no. nt

[UTUSN]

10. K&R for *check* for me!1

[brer cat]

12. A new Borowitz to start the day!

I think we are going to be thankful starting Nov 4 until Jan 21.

[malaise]

13. Hahahahahha

Don'rule it out

[Rhiannon12866]

14. Nothing is off the table when it comes to Trump!

[Gothmog]

15. I love good satire

[KWR65]

18. There is nothing humorus about Trump. He is an danger to the republic. n/t