One of the greatest qualities a leader can have...is be an ..."Outstanding Listener"
...How did I come to this conclusion? I was a teacher in high school for many years. History, all kinds...When I graduated from a fine university, I thought I knew it all, but I knew very little.
.. After many years, I realized that it was not all about me. If I could set a tone and atmosphere in the class, then students could add their experiences along with mine. It had to be an open tone and students needed to feel comfortable, not pushed upon and bent out of shape, if I wanted to hear the best of student's thoughts.
... I was discussing the Holocaust one day, and a very quiet student came up after class with a friend. (yes, this happened after 25 years of teaching, in the mid 90s..) He wanted to tell me a short story about the inhumanity of what he saw. He was very quiet and his friend told this story:
...He was from Cambodia..His father was a teacher somewhere, and the Khmer Rouge came knocking at his door one night. They wanted his father, and as he & his mom escaped out the back window of their home, the Khmer Rouge shot and killed his father. His mom and he escaped & made it to the U.S.A. where they live now..(This happened 25 years ago, but I still remember it clearly) I felt honored that he told me this. It was just the 3 of us, after class talking, and I knew he did not want to tell the entire class, so he told the teacher..
...Another student story that I will never forget is we were discussing intimacy one day in another class. It was a 9am class, & I was finally awake after getting there at 7:00am. I do not know how we got to the topic, but a very bright young lady, 17 or 18 told the entire class this story. She and her boyfriend often spent a lot of time together. When she and the boyfriend were in her room at her home, she always kept a condom near where they discussed and interacted together. Yes, that was said in a high school in a large city 23 years ago.. I guess the topic was protection against pregnancy or what ever, and intimacy.
.. In thinking about that now, I am very proud that these two students felt comfortable enough to tell their stories.. And I honestly say, that I could not have told either of these stories about me. But the students told them and this is the truth. The last story was told to the entire class, and I am sure those students remember that lesson.
...It is a lesson that I could not teach, but a student taught that to about 24 others. And the students listened, and I remember that too. .......Listening is often far more important than giving a speech or talking to lots of fellow teachers or large crowds of people. (and no names were given )
....One more very important idea: When you carefully listen to others, you can learn something you did not know before..
Thank You for reading this...Stuart...
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