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Tue Apr 7, 2020, 08:51 AM

Some collected funnies for your enjoyment!

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.
The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I
turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or
The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.
Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1
teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go
from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she
thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog....
we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just
find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You
have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no
clue how this place is still in business.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb
threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I
wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda.
I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.


Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the
same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

24 replies, 3390 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 24 replies Author Time Post
Reply Some collected funnies for your enjoyment! (Original post)
Dave in VA Apr 2020 OP
PJMcK Apr 2020 #1
burrowowl Apr 2020 #2
flying_wahini Apr 2020 #3
Ohiogal Apr 2020 #4
MyOwnPeace Apr 2020 #5
SheltieLover Apr 2020 #6
wryter2000 Apr 2020 #15
Alliepoo Apr 2020 #7
MerryBlooms Apr 2020 #8
House of Roberts Apr 2020 #20
MerryBlooms Apr 2020 #21
WinstonSmith4740 Apr 2020 #9
keithbvadu2 Apr 2020 #10
pazzyanne Apr 2020 #11
planetc Apr 2020 #12
evilhime Apr 2020 #13
Tucker08087 Apr 2020 #14
El Mimbreno Apr 2020 #16
wryter2000 Apr 2020 #17
malaise Apr 2020 #18
House of Roberts Apr 2020 #19
crickets Apr 2020 #22
Dave in VA Apr 2020 #23
Danascot Apr 2020 #24

Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 08:56 AM

1. Thanks!

Those were perfect thoughts to start the day!

Have a good one, Dave.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:01 AM

2. Kick

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:05 AM

3. Those are great jokes!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:07 AM

4. Thank you for the humor!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:09 AM

5. Some are

oh, so true!!!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 09:13 AM

6. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

TY for the laughs! It's good medicine!

What did your dog have to say about neighbor & cat?

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Response to SheltieLover (Reply #6)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:35 AM

15. Hey!

My cat tells me that lady's cat overheard them laughing.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:03 AM

7. 😂😂😂

Loved these funnies!! Read them all to Mr Poo!! Thanks for the laughs!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:22 AM

8. Living the QuaranDream, baby!

Those were great!

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how we're all dropping quaran or quarantine into casual conversation... told her Happy quaranTuesday, she says, it's quaranMonday, I said, okay seriously, that makes it funnier.

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Response to MerryBlooms (Reply #8)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:53 AM

20. So that makes today...wait for it...

QuaranCaturday!

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Response to House of Roberts (Reply #20)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 12:04 PM

21. We have 5 of those shady furbags running this house,

so I guess technically, every day is QuaranCatday!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:42 AM

9. Thanks!

Some well needed humor. I have to admit it thought...I'm a teacher and I stole the one about suspending the 2 kids. I do love the fact that parents who never taught their kids to respect anyone are now stuck at home with the little shits.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:51 AM

10. Just laying around does not need as many showers.

Finally had to take one because the goats were complaining.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 10:57 AM

11. Truth to power, Dave in VA

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:26 AM

12. [giggle] and thanks

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:31 AM

13. These are wonderful!

Have you posted them anywhere else??? May I share?

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:33 AM

14. Thank you!

I needed that!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:35 AM

16. Excellent!

Added them to the Just for Fun page on our local party website www.gcdp-nm.org .

With credit and a link, of course.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:37 AM

17. I want to share, too

You can be famous on Facebook

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:39 AM

18. These are fabulous

Rec

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 11:51 AM

19. The lady who talks to her cat

didn't start doing that just since coronavirus.

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 12:17 PM

22. These are great! Thanks, Dave. nt

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Tue Apr 7, 2020, 12:45 PM

23. Share away!

This is just a collection of funnies I have seen on other web sites over the last couple of days. Wish I were this talented, but...

Glad all of you are enjoying!

We all need a laugh now and then, especially now.

Be safe and stay healthy!

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Response to Dave in VA (Original post)

Wed Apr 8, 2020, 07:56 AM

24. We need toilet paper! No, it's a respiratory virus not Taco Bell.

30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31 except last month that had 8,000.

This coronavirus thing makes me feel like Im 16 again. Gas is cheap and Im not allowed to leave the house.

My day is grueling: 12 hours of texting, 2 hours of looking for snacks I ate two weeks ago, 10 pm change from day pajamas to night pajamas, repeat.

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