General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI never really understood my parents attitude toward money till this week.
They were born in the 1920s. They were just children when the stock market crashed in 1929, and still young during the depression and WWII. These events in American history left an indelible mark on their generation. They never lost the fear that it could all fall apart overnight.
They could never enjoy spending money, because they knew that tomorrow they might not have enough.
This week the world has changed. Now I get it.
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)And no debt. Getting a mortgage required a lot to get my father on board. He'd seen too many people lose their homes and farms.
milestogo
(16,829 posts)They had credit only to qualify for a mortgage. Nothing else.
Mine had charge cards, but only for the convenience of not carrying cash. The full balance was paid at the end of each month.
True Blue American
(17,998 posts)I do that!
at140
(6,110 posts)trips to the bank which burns gasoline, and I don't need a fat wallet to carry around.
One little plastic card is all I need to buy anything in retail. Very CONVENIENT.
And then I pay the card bill on internet, with instant receipt, so no chance of delay or loss in mail.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,030 posts)They lived comfortably but they weren't wasteful; they saved and repaired things that we'd just throw away now (some things are now made so you can't repair them even if you want to). My mother and my grandmother washed and reused aluminum foil (a habit I picked up too); they darned socks and replaced zippers and patched clothes. I guess we'll all be going back to those frugal habits - we'll have to.
True Blue American
(17,998 posts)Being more careful. Cooking from scratch. The biscuits I made the last 2 mornings were huge,delicious. I enjoyed that!
bobbieinok
(12,858 posts)Lord Ludd
(585 posts)my mother (also born 1913) said, "The stock market is no different than gambling," I could've retired at 30 without ever investing a penny.
calimary
(81,612 posts)It always seemed that way to me as well.
Lord Ludd
(585 posts)reACTIONary
(5,797 posts)... AL foil thing also.
Neema
(1,151 posts)My parents were also born in the 20s and, not only that, my father was the son of brand new immigrants and my mother was orphaned as a toddler and raised by extended family.
But they were kind of terrible with money because they could never get ahead enough to do things the right way. They weren't frivolous at all, but they always were sort of reacting to one crisis or the next. I get it. It's the way a lot of people live. It's very expensive to be poor.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else. That is the misery of being poor.
― Oscar Wilde
iwillalwayswonderwhy
(2,603 posts)She would not touch a door knob or a stair rail without a Kleenex in her hand. She washed her hands like a surgeon scrubbing. Kept her nails clipped short. Towels and wash cloths one use and into the laundry. Bedding changed every 3 days. We made fun of her. I recently realized that born in 1911 she was 7 or 8 years old during the flu epidemic. I bet she was taught this behavior.
True Blue American
(17,998 posts)Bought a new car right before the crash. She would never let him buy another new one although he had a very good job as a Crane operator on tailroad..
After she developed dementia we found money hidden all over the house, behind mirrors, folded up in Kleenex. She went ballistic at my husband for getting a Kleenex, but he saw the money hidden.
Frustratedlady
(16,254 posts)Two sisters had lived together after their parents died and they hid money all over the place. The auctioneers weren't aware of this until people began finding money in boxes, books, hems of dresses/coats/drapes, etc. The people who bought the house at auction, found money in light fixtures, behind medicine cabinets, under floorboards and in the ceiling of the basement.
Their father had lost his money during the Depression and instilled a fear of the same in them all those years.
True Blue American
(17,998 posts)Handed the oldest Son a cigar box,
asked him to keep it for him. He put it up in a kitchen cabinet, forgot about it. The box was full of money.
My Grandparents raised 6 kids, lived life to the fullest. Went to FLA every winter. Grandma had a mink stole, nice house.
The 4 were about the same age. I am glad they did, I loved them dearly. Irish to the bone.
safeinOhio
(32,763 posts)She told me she had a stash of money hiding and wanted to let know where it was. A month later she told dad about it but forgot one stash in her sewing machine. I show dad where it was and we counted it. $28,000 to go with the other $12,000 in the basement. She said she was afraid if anything happened to dad she wouldnt have anything. She grew up when women couldnt get loans or credit and thought she might need it. She said she never told dad because he might be mad at her for not investing it.
At their estate sale that sewing machine went for $35.
dhol82
(9,353 posts)My mother was 21 when she was on the front lines of the German incursion into Russia.
Talk about frugal! When we came to the states we had nothing. My mother would buy used shoes at the open air market behind our rooming house. My father fixed EVERYTHING!
After I left home I swore I would never shop in a bargain basement ever again.
They each left a nice bit of money.
However, I still have a lot of leftover tendencies to be cheap.
True Blue American
(17,998 posts)Frugal about the darndest things.
Elwood P Dowd
(11,443 posts)mid-1930s. They were married in the late 1930s and had children before dad went off to war. I came along a little over a year after he came back. They always kept an emergency cash stash around or in the bank. That stash came in handy when my father suffered a serious illness in the 1950s and couldn't work for about 9 months. We didn't miss any meals and kept the bills paid, though you could probably classify us as poor by the time he went back to work.
bucolic_frolic
(43,566 posts)and everyone was a sheep back then just like now. Some things never change.
Xipe Totec
(43,893 posts)SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)BigmanPigman
(51,675 posts)I have never wasted or gone into debt since they knew first hand as kids growing up in the depression. I still have their rationing books since they went straight from the depression into WWII. No money and work into rationing and collecting scrap metal, rubber, etc.
greenjar_01
(6,477 posts)He was born in Italy (in Lombardy, actually, which y'all keep pronouncing incorrectly, like it's a football coach!), and lived there until he was in his 30's. He saw the war and postwar, a time of extraordinary hardship. He remains so stingy with food, almost obsessively so. We'd have two or three "leftover" nights a week. There was no need for this, but he never wasted an ounce. Everything got eaten, repurposed, reused. I only realized in my 20's that he probably spent the first 20 some odd years of his life *hungry.*
My kid, as I write this post, just asked if he could have a snack before dinner. "Sure," I said. My father probably spent the first 20 some odd years of his life hungry.
trof
(54,256 posts)I'm a Lombard derivative and my ancestors are from there.
We were originally Langebards (long beards) and migrated to the namesake region from Germany.
LOM-bar-DI-a.
LOM-bar-dy.
trof
(54,256 posts)trof
(54,256 posts)dchill
(38,641 posts)I guess things were bad then?
jaxexpat
(6,887 posts)The current generation of parents have seldom been asked to conserve, to rethink their impulse cravings. Yet it is on them to impose resource scarcity on their children, to realize the limitations. No moral to the story here. Only an observation.
calimary
(81,612 posts)I think many of us are probably noticing that, too. Those of us whose parents grew up during the Great Depression, especially.
jaxexpat
(6,887 posts)Been lurking since 2000. Got the link from bartcop. Appreciate this place, this island.
William769
(55,151 posts)He would buy nothing on credit Houses, car absolutely nothing. He use used to tell us If I don't have the money to buy it, I don't need it.
Also my father could never enjoy spending money, because he knew that tomorrow he might not have enough.
I miss him so much.
warmfeet
(3,321 posts)That's a good thing.
SCantiGOP
(13,879 posts)She lived with us and we let her take the kids to McDonalds twice a week after picking them up from school.
I found a bag under the kitchen counter with about 3-400 of their little packets of ketchup.
She told me that she would sit down at some point and empty them into a bottle.
Rather than argue I let her do it, and then threw the bottle away a few weeks later without her knowing it. I didnt think the process was very hygienic, especially when the benefit was about $1.00.
Dem2theMax
(9,662 posts)A tiny bit of ketchup mixed in with hot water. I never saw her eat that, however, I did see her eat cracker soup every once in awhile. Saltines and some butter in hot water. Just another thing they had to do to survive.
calimary
(81,612 posts)He switched to cream later in life when he was grown up and had more money. He used to stir some up whenever he felt under the weather.
Dem2theMax
(9,662 posts)Come to think of it, I think Mom did put a little milk in there once in awhile. It always amazed me that she would get cravings for what I considered to be a horrible meal.
Today I tried to order some things to be delivered from Costco. One of the very few things they had in stock for online delivery was Saltine crackers. Sold! People have no idea. I do. I can always make cracker soup in a pinch! And so can you!
onethatcares
(16,215 posts)when we were growing up. Fried rolled up dough pieces. Ya covered them with ketchup and ate. There were no left overs at our house.
5 kids, 2 adults
iluvtennis
(19,913 posts)we were living in depression times. My aunt (her daughter) had a special shed built in her backyard full of paper towels, toilet tissue, can goods, powdered milk, beans, rice, etc, etc. My aunt still had that shed in the mid 90's when she passed away.
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)It was chock full of anything you can think of.
Evolve Dammit
(16,820 posts)REDUCE, RE-USE RECYCLE was already in their everyday thinking, and became ours. "Clean your plate. There are kids starving." I still clean my plate. I moderate the intake but we don't waste anything. Also think it is giving thanks to the animal(s) that gave their lives for us to eat or for Mother Earth providing. It's about respect and appreciation. Pretty simple really.
dmr
(28,368 posts)That's what we heard growing up. We HAD to clean our plates, too. It wasn't because we didn't have room in our tummies, it was because there was something on our plate we didn't like. I hated it when mom made liver. Ack! I'd smothered it with catchup, and then more catchup, and then some more!
maddiemom
(5,106 posts)It was always. "Clean your plate. There are REFUGEES starving in Europe."
Evolve Dammit
(16,820 posts)Parents ate some other nasties that were delicacies in their times!
Lars39
(26,120 posts)DFW
(54,527 posts)She was born in 1952 in rural post-war Germany. Only because they were an extended family of farmers did they have enough to eat. Her dad was sent to Stalingrad at age 17, and returned minus a leg at age 19, so his farming career was done before he was even 20. Instead, he joined a rural bank, and helped out farmers with loans when they were in difficulty. He never gravitated far from his roots. When he died, something like 400 people showed up at his funeral, and we didn't even know half of them. Just other farmers paying their respects to the guy who helped them maintain their existence.
Lars39
(26,120 posts)He would probably been appalled at all the attention.
misanthrope
(7,436 posts)I try to keep my consumption of goods and resources down as much as I can. That means only buying what you will eat and eating everything you are served. I wish my wife were as mindful.
That also goes for non-perishables and utilities. Regretfully, living with pulmonary disease in one of the muggiest places in the country makes my electricity usage difficult to conserve.
Evolve Dammit
(16,820 posts)CentralMass
(15,265 posts)Lulu KC
(2,579 posts)My husband acts as if he lived through the Great Depression. This is yet another asset in my choice of marriage partner.
Pillow talk
(265 posts)to make this socially acceptable than any given generations priors. in depth acceptance was previously reserved for the poorest and the richest
samplegirl
(11,530 posts)My mother lived through the depression and shared lots of stories. They knew how to stretch a dollar.
Everything from our underwear to our bike tubes got patched.
Garbage was rolled in newspaper.
They wasted very little.
Yet people had respect and compassion for others. I just told my niece that when my fathers factory went out on strike a local grocery store would front my father groceries because my Dad was good for the money!
paleotn
(18,015 posts)My in-laws as well. It marked their thinking for their entire lives.
kimbutgar
(21,290 posts)She said she had many nights of no food and always swathed to make sure we had food in case of an emergency. When she passed I emptied out the panty and freezer and there were cans and foods 10 years old.
That said I always make sure I have food in my panty and freezer but also throw out old stuff. I had a bag of canned food that expired 5 years ago that I was going to put in garbage can. Now they are stashed in my garbage in case things get bad.
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)calimary
(81,612 posts)jberryhill
(62,444 posts)She mustve kept him coming back for more.
calimary
(81,612 posts)Kathy M
(1,242 posts)"What about the foods in your pantry? Most shelf-stable foods are safe indefinitely. In fact, canned goods will last for years, as long as the can itself is in good condition (no rust, dents, or swelling). Packaged foods (cereal, pasta, cookies) will be safe past the best by date, although they may eventually become stale or develop an off flavor. Youll know when you open the package if the food has lost quality. Many dates on foods refer to quality, not safety. See FSIS Shelf-Stable Food Safety fact sheet for more information."
https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2013/06/27/you-toss-food-wait-check-it-out
efhmc
(14,745 posts)Probably the value in today's dollars would be a couple of million dollars. He did not believe in debt and ran his own company and his personal finances accordingly. He was also a person who loved his family and thought his daughters were absolutely fabulous. The boys had to prove themselves. I was lucky. I love and miss him so much.
misanthrope
(7,436 posts)When I was a kid, I don't recall there being the stigma surrounding home rental that there is now. These days, people think nothing of drowning in debt.
efhmc
(14,745 posts)up in the Depression and he said that they were so poor, it didn't seem very different to him. But remember he was then a child and did not have the burden of providing the necessities.
misanthrope
(7,436 posts)Some never lost the memories of the hunger, the deprivations, the way all were needed to chip in.
efhmc
(14,745 posts)deer meat. That probably kept them from going hungry.
Dem2theMax
(9,662 posts)My parents were born in 1918 and 1919. They told me all the stories about the depression and World War II.
My dad had his own business and we all worked there. So I understood from a young age how you had to work for a dollar to pay for the things that you really needed.
I have never been someone who needs 'things.' I had one pair of shoes for the longest time. But I have foot issues, and finally understand that I need to swap them out once in awhile. So now I actually have four pairs of tennis shoes, and I'm embarrassed to say that.
I've always felt blessed to be raised by my parents, but even more so now. I know how to get through this. And it's all because of them.
And boy do I miss them. They both passed away in 2012.
c-rational
(2,603 posts)the Great Depression, mostly from Mom who probably fared better than Dad. She lived in Lima Ohio and her father was well off (he owned a 500 room hotel) before the crash. Dad was from the Bronx whose father moved to Vermont and ran a general store during the Depression. As a child in grammar school, I reused my brown paper lunch bags. Also heard lots of stories about the worth of a dollar from my paternal grandmother (she lived with us my whole life) who was born in 1887 and died in 1985 - and called her own death. Way back when $9 per week was a good salary..
proud patriot
(100,717 posts)I was raised by my Grandparents (born in the early 20s)
you know I still store bacon fat ..
anyway .. few of my Gen X generation get it
but I do
calimary
(81,612 posts)proud patriot
(100,717 posts)the only difference from my Grandparents .. So I use a variety of containers
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,030 posts)hedda_foil
(16,379 posts)The government collected it to be refined into glycerine for explosives. The bacon fat you save today may save Johnny's life in the war.
That said, my grandmother saved hers too. When I was 3 or 4 I was playing alone on her back porch and decided that the time had come to find out what was REALLY in those coffee cans. I simply did not believe for a minute that anybody would save smelly old bacon grease on a hot porch. So I reached up to the table, which was slightly above my eye level, and grabbed a can in both hands, turned the can a bit to look inside and poured bacon grease all over myself from head to toe. When my family finally heard my shrieks, my mother was so embarrassed that my great aunt had to bathe me to remove the stuff.
proud patriot
(100,717 posts)I actually never knew it was for the war effort ..
hedda_foil
(16,379 posts)proud patriot
(100,717 posts)I hope it was a success
hedda_foil
(16,379 posts)proud patriot
(100,717 posts)To hearing all about it ..
Be well
pp
hedda_foil
(16,379 posts)calimary
(81,612 posts)efhmc
(14,745 posts)proud patriot
(100,717 posts)calimary
(81,612 posts)The Depression mentality. My mother saved EVERY jar and jar lid that crossed her path.
northoftheborder
(7,575 posts)but one unique: she saved old sheets, tore them into strips, balled them up, then used them for tying up packages, and other things... I found several balls of "sheet rope" after she died, and saved them in a bowl to remember her frugality.
Woodwizard
(852 posts)I have the same habits only loan was my mortgage, have paid cash for all our vehicles finally broke down and bought my first brand new one 10 years ago.
Pay off all charges on credit card every month
I fix everything, most appliances we have are 25 years old.
We garden and can the excess.
Almost never eat out
This year will be tough for all of us.
calimary
(81,612 posts)Being able to fix things is a VERY handy gift! Hey, if it can be fixed, it can last you longer, and you'll put off having to buy a new one for a little longer. The "disposable use-once-throw-away society" thing bothers me. Makes me feel guilty, so I try to avoid doing that as often as possible. Sometimes it becomes a game to me. "What else could THIS be used for?" I think my first recycling idea was the cellophane wrapper on my mom's cigarette packs. If you poked a hole down at the bottom in the bigger part (below the little "pull tab" that opened the cellophane), and stuck a doll hanger through it, it became a suit bag for Barbie's travels. Covered garments from the neck/shoulders about halfway down.
Flaleftist
(3,473 posts)I always thought it odd how they would look for deals and do things like order water with their meal at restaurants with their income. They tried to instill that same attitude in me. It didn't quite take. I also get it now.
pecosbob
(7,551 posts)Both my parents were born during the depression in rural North Texas. My grandmother, born in 1911, still had a garage full of canned garden-grown vegetables in 2000 when she passed.
DFW
(54,527 posts)Born in 1922 (dad and 1927 (mom). They were frugal, but enjoyed things when they could. I, by nature am far more conservative than they ever were, as far as money goes. Debts terrify me. I have a credit card, but hate to use it, and I refused to take out a loan for anything. Ever. I pay for as many things as I can in cash. People look at me sometimes as if I'm crazy, but I think it's crazy seeing people paying for coffee and a roll at the local café with a credit card.
Case in point--last summer, on vacation in the USA, my wife was in a tiny grocery store in Wellfleet, MA on a Sunday. The young mother in front of her in line was buying some formula to feed her baby. The store's electronics that they used for credit/debit cards broke down, so they could only accept cash, and they announced it. The young mother broke into tears because all she had was the plastic, and couldn't come up with the cash to feed her baby. My wife gave her the $5 she needed, and said, it's not enough to bother paying me back, but think about the situation you put yourself in. A German giving an American advice on how to manage her finances--in America! But my wife was right. You gotta be nuts to be a slave to electronic money over which you have zero control if the technology breaks down.
Aussie105
(5,503 posts)Put it to good use.
Feeding your family, putting a roof over their heads, paying the bills. Those are good uses.
Spending to make you feel good, buying a second or third example of something you already have, not so good.
Know the difference between needs and wants.
Something I absorbed from my parents. Don't know how that happened, and am having difficulty passing that message on to the next two generations.
Spending money today because you just know there will be more tomorrow, without end, may just come home to bite you hard. As it is currently for a lot of people.
dlbell
(17 posts)My father went through the depression delivering milk. My mother's family were farmers so they never lacked for food but cash was tight. All through my life, they never spent a cent more than they had to.
One time they were visiting me and Dad decided it was time for a new suit so off they went to the big department store. When I got home from work that night, I asked Dad how he made out. He looked at me and said "I didn't. They wanted $500 for a suit. I'll never live long enough to get my money's worth". To which my mother replied "Well if that's all that's bothering you, I'll bury you in your coveralls and find another man who takes the same size as you".
We all burst out laughing. And he did eventually buy a new suit.
marble falls
(57,647 posts)A young widow and her friend are looking the deceased in his casket with a nice suit and shoes and the friend says, "you're young, where's he going the suit won't matter, if you were to get married maybe your new husband might be able to use it."
So they take the suit and they're looking at him an the friend says, "Those nice shoes look kinda out of place with that t-shirt an boxers, maybe the new husband could wear those."
So they take of the shoes and replace them with a pait of tennis shoes.
At the viewing a boy and a girl are looking in the casket.
"Where do you think he's going: heaven or hell?" asked the girl.
"I'm not sure," said the boy," but he's dressed for a track meet."
milestogo
(16,829 posts)Welcome to DU!
calimary
(81,612 posts)Glad to have you with us! Your mom sounds like she was great fun!
The Mouth
(3,172 posts)one bathroom, two bedrooms, often four or five kids. Going out to eat was for extremely special occasions. Any allowance had to be earned with actual work. The very idea of a child having their own phone would have made any of my parent's generation laugh their asses off. Average house size 800-900 square feet. No use of credit whatsoever; cash or you can't afford it.
I'm glad I picked up a fair amount of that ethos; we do have internet and stream Netflix, but you are so right- it can ALL fall apart in a heartbeat.
misanthrope
(7,436 posts)Our town began on the western banks of a river where it met a wide bay. As you move west from the oldest city blocks, the decades and centuries roll past in the architecture. From those drives, you can see American expectations of average home sizes change over the 20th century right outside your car's windows.
In the post-war boom, marketing/advertising began to drive America's cultural tastes and desires. Home sizes expanded. From bungalows to ranchers to McMansions, it has ballooned in service to those manipulation.
DinahMoeHum
(21,843 posts). . .still applies today. My mom and dad imparted this adage to me and my brother growing up.
Pete Seeger had this to say about reducing waste:
"If it can't be reduced,
reused,
repaired,
rebuilt,
refurbished,
refinished,
resold,
recycled
or composted. . .
Then it should be restricted,
redesigned,
or removed from production"
#newrostrong
The Mouth
(3,172 posts)Grandma said so, and Truth it is.
misanthrope
(7,436 posts)Last edited Tue Mar 24, 2020, 07:05 PM - Edit history (1)
When I was born, five of my great grandparents and most of their kids were still alive. Two of the great grandparents died within my first few years, two more passed away after I was in grade school and one lasted until I was nearly 30.
The oldest of those was a woman who moved from north Mississippi to Birmingham in the early 20th century. The Magic City was booming on the back of its steel industry and attracting incoming residents from around the region and the world. She married and started a family.
The Great Depression hit Birmingham particularly hard. In its midst, her husband died from pneumonia, leaving her with four kids to feed. Relatives back in Mississippi assembled enough resources to keep her going, utilizing her marketable cooking skills in a little eatery. The kids chipped in to staff the business.
In childhood, I was always drawn to history. Living in the same part of Birmingham where my family had lived and worked for decades, I would catch snippets and memories recited. When the premiere of "The Waltons" TV show piqued my curiosity further, I asked about their experiences in that era. I took those tales to heart.
It taught me to put money in the proper perspective, to know its value without worshipping it. I understood materialism as a trap. Debt was something to be avoided at most any cost, only for an emergency. If I couldn't pay for something outright, I questioned if I really needed it.
When the Reagan era sought to counter all those lessons, I was wary. Americans were being led down a primrose path that ended at a tar pit.
napi21
(45,806 posts)water or anything else. She'd get very angry if someone let the water run (till it as cold or hot. Told us "you'll regret it if you're ever without!" She darned socks, made most of her own clothes, crocheted a beautiful table cloth, made their own wine, canned peaches, cherries etc. from her trees.
Mom & dad were born in 1906/08. they would tell me about the depression when foods were rationed and how our butcher used to sneak some bacon in her package when she didn't have the ration stamps to get any. Said h did it for her baby (me). They also were very frugal and never had a master card or visa. mom had a Department store charge card which had to be paid at the end ogf each month. only rarely used it,
I on the other hand was 30 before I got my first VISA card. it was still rare for the avg. person to use cc's and when you ent shopping, you had to ask if they accepted credit cards. Yes It was not wide spread in all stores. I recall how surprised I was when McDonalds started accepting cc's. I couldn't imagine who would charge $2.00 for lunch? I still recoil at seeing some foods that are real expensive. Can't see ever putting something that expensive in my mouth!
It's not been a bad life but soooo very different from how the millennials beieve.
OldBaldy1701E
(5,232 posts)it is a real shame that it took a major disaster for some to realize this. I once posted on another board that my father always said that if you could not afford to buy it outright, you don't really need it. I had a few people say how this was silly. They went on to basically describe the fact that, in their minds, you had to do things on credit or you would never get them. The level of social programming in their statements was a bit terrifying to be honest. I await their reactions to the crash that is coming. These are also people who probably will go insane without an internet connection...