Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search


(46,758 posts)
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:00 AM Feb 2020

Stage IV lung cancer

My mother died of it.

She didn't find out she had it until one week before she died, partially b/c our father made her doctor not tell her, but she figured it out anyway.

She knew she had lung cancer, but she didn't know how fatal it was. She did radiation and chemo. Lost her hair and a lot of weight.

Once it's Stage IV, the die is cast. All you can do is prolong your mortality and do palliative care (pain management). So to speak, Stage IV doesn't last very long.

Mom was a former smoker like Rush. She quit 20+ years before the cancer and it still happened.

As much as I like to be right, one of Mom's last comments was that she shouldn't have yelled at me when I was 9 and threw away her boxes of Marlboros.

38 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Stage IV lung cancer (Original Post) no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 OP
It's a horrible way to die malaise Feb 2020 #1
For Mom, I think it was the realization of impending death. no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #2
I was with my mom at the end, your words bring it all rushing back: chia Feb 2020 #10
Been there.. it sucks woundedkarma Feb 2020 #20
My dad died with it at 59 Kablooie Feb 2020 #3
Is this more angst about Rush's false-flag health problem? NCLefty Feb 2020 #4
I don't think so. no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #5
That's great! Rorey Feb 2020 #6
There's actually a tombstone in the Key West cemetery with that on it. cwydro Feb 2020 #7
I love that people have a sense of humor. Rorey Feb 2020 #8
We almost put mgardener Feb 2020 #11
That would have been amusing. NT Rorey Feb 2020 #23
there is one in Savannah too. yellowdogintexas Feb 2020 #13
All I can say is Karma is a bitch.... mitch96 Feb 2020 #9
Yeah not fooled Feb 2020 #14
He'll blame Obama and Hillary. CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #16
!!! BENGAZI !!! nt mitch96 Feb 2020 #22
it's actually a pretty common symptom of addiction Skittles Feb 2020 #24
I don't believe the fucker will die anytime soon. dalton99a Feb 2020 #21
Apparently he said it's Stage IV. That's what several publications reported. OliverQ Feb 2020 #31
I think of it as karma... 2naSalit Feb 2020 #27
Remember Morton Downey Jr., he died of it to Hawaii Hiker Feb 2020 #12
I remember that show well Dukkha Feb 2020 #18
I could have written the original post. CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #15
that comment about your mum Skittles Feb 2020 #25
I never thought she was stupid. I thought she was average. CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #38
My former sister-in-law died of it at the age of 42. She only smoked occasionally. Texin Feb 2020 #17
one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with Stage IV yellowdogintexas Feb 2020 #19
Limbaugh encouraged others to smoke Yeehah Feb 2020 #26
One of my parents and one of my sisters 2naSalit Feb 2020 #28
My grandfather died the same way. angrydem666 Feb 2020 #29
It took my mother too CountAllVotes Feb 2020 #30
It is a horrible way to die. musicblind Feb 2020 #32
I've been thinking about this a lot The Genealogist Feb 2020 #33
Oh my gosh, how horrible, I'm so sorry. MerryBlooms Feb 2020 #36
Is it treatable or is it Jane Austin Feb 2020 #34
Stage IV means the cancer has metastasized. no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #35
Hospice is wonderful and a great support MerryBlooms Feb 2020 #37


(46,758 posts)
2. For Mom, I think it was the realization of impending death.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:15 AM
Feb 2020

Again, without telling her, Dad had her put on morphine, wherein she lapsed into what he called a "coma," but in reality, it was a drug-induced sleep that allowed her to avoid the horror of trying to take a breath and nothing happens. She didn't know.

I was with her at the end, counting the seconds between inhalation and exhalation, until the last breath.


(2,245 posts)
10. I was with my mom at the end, your words bring it all rushing back:
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:09 AM
Feb 2020

"... counting the seconds between inhalation and exhalation, until the last breath."


There are a thousand thoughts and emotions that rise up just at the thought of those last hours.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom.



(498 posts)
20. Been there.. it sucks
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:45 AM
Feb 2020

There for the passing of my parents. But lost 4 total loved ones in a couple years. I hate it.

You have my heart-felt sympathy.

It's heart breaking and it hurts to think my kids will go through that some day. Probably sooner than they should have to.


(3,678 posts)
4. Is this more angst about Rush's false-flag health problem?
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:24 AM
Feb 2020

Dude just wants more Oxy.

Alleging false flag attacks

In 2010, after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, Limbaugh speculated on his show that eco-terrorists deliberately destroyed the oil well to justify President Obama's deepwater drilling moratorium.[158] Limbaugh also claimed that the media was exaggerating the environmental effects of the disaster.[159]

After the Unite the Right rally and vehicle-ramming attack in Charlottesville, Virginia, Limbaugh defended Trump's controversial response to the rally and claimed that the violence had been provoked by Black Lives Matter activists, Antifa, and Robert Creamer.[160] He also claimed without evidence that the police response had been deliberately restrained by Terry McAuliffe as a botched attempt to start a presidential bid in the 2020 Democratic Party presidential primaries, and that it was part of a campaign by "international financiers" such as George Soros to start a second civil war in the United States to remove its status as a global superpower.[161][162][163] After attention on Trump's comments renewed when Joe Biden criticized them in the announcement of his 2020 presidential campaign, Limbaugh again defended them by repeating claims that some of the protesters were not white supremacists and were protesting the removal of the statue of Robert E. Lee.[164]

Limbaugh claimed that the October 2018 United States mail bombing attempts were perpetuated as a false-flag operation to draw public attention away from Central American migrant caravans.[165][166] He reiterated these claims two weeks after the arrest of the primary suspect Cesar Sayoc, a registered Republican.[167][168]

On his show, Limbaugh has said that the Christchurch mosque shootings of March 2019 may have been a false-flag operation. Limbaugh described "an ongoing theory" that the shooter was actually "a leftist" trying to smear the right. Despite providing no source or evidence, Limbaugh continued: "... you can't immediately discount this. The left is this insane, they are this crazy."[169][170]




(51,308 posts)
7. There's actually a tombstone in the Key West cemetery with that on it.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:13 AM
Feb 2020

Without the “bastards” and with the person’s name.

Lots of cool stones there.


(8,455 posts)
8. I love that people have a sense of humor.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:25 AM
Feb 2020

My name is actually on my parents' tombstone, but that's as much of me that's going to end up in that cemetery.

Thanks so much to no_hypocrisy for posting this. I'm getting a chuckle out of what I'm finding in my search for hilarious tombstones.


(22,393 posts)
13. there is one in Savannah too.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:33 AM
Feb 2020

I do not recall that it has 'bastards' on it but it is still pretty cool


(14,045 posts)
9. All I can say is Karma is a bitch....
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:45 AM
Feb 2020

Advocate smoking and then get Lung CA..... Now about this climate change hoax....

not fooled

(5,838 posts)
14. Yeah
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:35 AM
Feb 2020

It's one thing to smoke, but another whole level of behavior to act as though you believe the laws of nature don't apply to you by flouting being a smoker in a particularly loud and obnoxious way.

The same mindset applies to those who roll coal and engage in other obnoxious actions. In effect they are declaring that they don't believe in science, medicine, etc. I wonder whether limbaugh will ever reflect upon whether his actions contributed to his condition, or whether doing so was worthwhile.


(82,128 posts)
21. I don't believe the fucker will die anytime soon.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:50 AM
Feb 2020

He didn't say what stage or type, survival rates vary - and survival also depends on treatment ($$$$)

$$$$ fixed his deafness problem last time



(3,363 posts)
31. Apparently he said it's Stage IV. That's what several publications reported.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:03 PM
Feb 2020

Which means it's most likely advanced enough that it's terminal no matter what he does. Just depends on how long he can survive. My guess is less than a year, but who knows.


(88,058 posts)
27. I think of it as karma...
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:49 PM
Feb 2020

those lungs fed the breath that was used to spew poison for decades. If it's painful, nasty and horrible, he deserves it.

Hawaii Hiker

(3,166 posts)
12. Remember Morton Downey Jr., he died of it to
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:24 AM
Feb 2020

He use to have that talk show on WWOR in NY back in late 80's, early 90's.....He had his phrase "Zip It", and he use to blow smoke (literally) in people's faces when they complained about his smoking...He was obnoxious, but not as vile as Rush


(7,341 posts)
18. I remember that show well
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:44 AM
Feb 2020

He was also a homophobe and would do anti-LGBT rants on his show. Until one episode when his guest was his brother who was HIV+.
Morton also staged a false flag stunt where he was allegedly attacked in an airport bathroom by neo-Nazis. Though there was no evidence on airport security of it, and the swastika on his face was backwards which suggested he did it in a mirror.


(6,448 posts)
15. I could have written the original post.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:36 AM
Feb 2020

My mom quit smoking at least 20 years before the end too. But she didn't want anyone to see her in the hospital, so we weren't allowed to visit her during that last month. She also had no funeral or obituary either. That was Christmas Day 2015, and some of her older friends still think she's alive.

My dad's got dementia and is in assisted living now. He can't really call anyone and didn't call them before his diagnosis either. Mom did all the finances and Dad knew nothing about that, so he bounced checks for 3 months until I took over his accounts. What a mess! The $1400 in fees and penalties didn't help. Now he's in the black and doesn't know. The con man who screwed him pissed me off too. I went to the authorities and the douche got 18 months. I haven't seen a dime in restitution either. (A sibling would have helped with all of this.)

Mom and Dad both quit school in the 10th grade, but I didn't realize how smart Mom was until I got the account. I wish she had shared more with me so I'd have been more prepared. Everything was on the fly while my wife and I were running our own household. Good thing I'm disabled. A full time job would have been too much during this three-ring circus.


(154,062 posts)
25. that comment about your mum
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:44 PM
Feb 2020

I never make the mistake of confusing education with intelligence - sometimes, they are NOT related


(6,448 posts)
38. I never thought she was stupid. I thought she was average.
Wed Feb 5, 2020, 09:26 AM
Feb 2020

She quit school because her father became disabled in the mid-50s. My grandmother had to work outside the home making "women's wages" in a very sexist era.

It took both of them to keep the family afloat.

My dad had a similar situation. His father was in a TB sanitarium during that same time.

The difference was that after my mom died, Dad kept spending money he didn't have. Mom was more frugal. Dad wrote checks and never entered them in the register. That part drove me crazy.


(2,607 posts)
17. My former sister-in-law died of it at the age of 42. She only smoked occasionally.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:43 AM
Feb 2020

And mostly during her twenties. In other words, she would never have called a smoker. But folks can die of this without ever having picked up a cigarette in their lives. Maybe second hand smoke? Who knows. (Dana Reeves, Christopher's widow, developed it during her mid-forties and she had never smoked).

My former S-I-L had just not felt well for about a month, with symptoms of a bronchial infection, and since it was during the winter, she just didn't think much of it. Oh, BTW, she was a registered nurse - so no dummy, but this caught her up by the short hairs, so to speak. It was state IV. I believe she was diagnosed in late November. She was dead by July, just one or two days after her forty-second birthday. According to my older nephew, who was at the time a LVN, her last couple or so weeks in hospice were absolute hell for her. Fatal lung cancer is just about the most agonizing death a human can face. I'm sure there are worse, but they're probably of shorter duration. This just is one prolonged hideous struggle.


(22,393 posts)
19. one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with Stage IV
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:45 AM
Feb 2020

as her first diagnosis. She never smoked, but we grew up in the heart of dark fired tobacco in KY. Everybody smoked. Crop dusting, all sorts of chemical stuff. Interestingly, her older sister had a similar tumor and their mother had lung cancer which spread to her cardiac muscles. Maybe it was something in the 200 year old house they lived in.

She is now 5 years cancer free. She went to hell and back but she had a fairly encapsulated tumor and ultimately lost a lobe of the affected lung. She went to MD Anderson (from South Carolina) and participated in some new protocols being tested there.

So it can happen but it's a long shot. He is filthy rich and will be able to take advantage of things the average person will never even know about.

My condolences to both of the posters whose mother died of this awful disease.


(88,058 posts)
28. One of my parents and one of my sisters
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:51 PM
Feb 2020

died from smoking related cancers, after seeing that, it is what I would wish on these evil beings. They want nothing less for us.


(9 posts)
29. My grandfather died the same way.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:56 PM
Feb 2020

It is, indeed, a horrible way to die. And while I have considerable empathy for people like you, I have none for Rush. Not even a little.


(4,488 posts)
32. It is a horrible way to die.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:26 PM
Feb 2020

I don't wish it on anyone, not even Rush Limbaugh.

He's still a monster, though.

The Genealogist

(4,723 posts)
33. I've been thinking about this a lot
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:47 PM
Feb 2020

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 8.

I lost my paternal grandmother to cancer when I was 13.

I lost my paternal grandfather to cancer when I was 22.

I lost my father to cancer when I was 33. My stepmother and I stood together and were there when he died.

The son of a first cousin of mine is 33 and currently has brain cancer.

Cancer is a monster. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even Rush Limbaugh.

That said, I find it extremely difficult to muster sympathy for a man whom I feel has done as much as or more than any other single person to fan the flames of hate in this country. He has literally made a career of manufacturing ill will among Americans, and for what? Money and power. He has done his utmost to make misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia and racism not just acceptable, but the norm among his target audience. There are countless people of good will and good deed who suffer with cancer every day of their lives. My sympathy lies with them.


(11,797 posts)
36. Oh my gosh, how horrible, I'm so sorry.
Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:55 PM
Feb 2020

I hope your doctor runs blood panels every year to catch anything odd and notes changes in your skin. My husband, his mother, and paternal grandmother all had forms of melanoma and my husband died of metastasized ocular melanoma. My sons are checked out thoroughly every year and blood panels run to check for abnormal blood counts, and so far so good. Their father died when he was 45, diagnosed at 44, so I was a widow at 37... That horrific anniversary is January 14th. My eldest is now 37. Awareness can help break the cycle, but genetics plays a very big role. May you enjoy multitudes of years of excellent health.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Stage IV lung cancer