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DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Stage IV lung cancer

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:00 AM

Star Member no_hypocrisy (42,180 posts)

Stage IV lung cancer

My mother died of it.

She didn't find out she had it until one week before she died, partially b/c our father made her doctor not tell her, but she figured it out anyway.

She knew she had lung cancer, but she didn't know how fatal it was. She did radiation and chemo. Lost her hair and a lot of weight.

Once it's Stage IV, the die is cast. All you can do is prolong your mortality and do palliative care (pain management). So to speak, Stage IV doesn't last very long.

Mom was a former smoker like Rush. She quit 20+ years before the cancer and it still happened.

As much as I like to be right, one of Mom's last comments was that she shouldn't have yelled at me when I was 9 and threw away her boxes of Marlboros.

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 38 replies Author Time Post
Reply Stage IV lung cancer (Original post)
 no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 OP
LineReply It's a horrible way to die
 malaise Feb 2020 #1
LineLineReply For Mom, I think it was the realization of impending death.
 no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #2
LineLineLineReply I was with my mom at the end, your words bring it all rushing back:
 chia Feb 2020 #10
LineLineLineReply Been there.. it sucks
 woundedkarma Feb 2020 #20
LineReply My dad died with it at 59
 Kablooie Feb 2020 #3
LineReply Is this more angst about Rush's false-flag health problem?
 NCLefty Feb 2020 #4
LineLineReply I don't think so.
 no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #5
LineLineLineReply That's great!
 Rorey Feb 2020 #6
LineLineLineLineReply There's actually a tombstone in the Key West cemetery with that on it.
 cwydro Feb 2020 #7
LineLineLineLineLineReply I love that people have a sense of humor.
 Rorey Feb 2020 #8
LineLineLineLineLineLineReply We almost put
 mgardener Feb 2020 #11
LineLineLineLineLineLineLineReply That would have been amusing. NT
 Rorey Feb 2020 #23
LineLineLineLineLineReply there is one in Savannah too.
 yellowdogintexas Feb 2020 #13
LineReply All I can say is Karma is a bitch....
 mitch96 Feb 2020 #9
LineLineReply Yeah
 not fooled Feb 2020 #14
LineLineLineReply He'll blame Obama and Hillary.
 CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #16
LineLineLineLineReply !!! BENGAZI !!! nt
 mitch96 Feb 2020 #22
LineLineLineReply it's actually a pretty common symptom of addiction
 Skittles Feb 2020 #24
LineLineReply I don't believe the fucker will die anytime soon.
 dalton99a Feb 2020 #21
LineLineLineNew Reply Apparently he said it's Stage IV. That's what several publications reported.
 OliverQ Feb 2020 #31
LineLineReply I think of it as karma...
 2naSalit Feb 2020 #27
LineReply Remember Morton Downey Jr., he died of it to
 Hawaii Hiker Feb 2020 #12
LineLineReply I remember that show well
 Dukkha Feb 2020 #18
LineReply I could have written the original post.
 CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #15
LineLineReply that comment about your mum
 Skittles Feb 2020 #25
LineLineLineNew Reply I never thought she was stupid. I thought she was average.
 CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #38
LineReply My former sister-in-law died of it at the age of 42. She only smoked occasionally.
 Texin Feb 2020 #17
LineReply one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with Stage IV
 yellowdogintexas Feb 2020 #19
LineReply Limbaugh encouraged others to smoke
 Yeehah Feb 2020 #26
LineReply One of my parents and one of my sisters
 2naSalit Feb 2020 #28
LineNew Reply My grandfather died the same way.
 angrydem666 Feb 2020 #29
LineNew Reply It took my mother too
 CountAllVotes Feb 2020 #30
LineNew Reply It is a horrible way to die.
 musicblind Feb 2020 #32
LineNew Reply I've been thinking about this a lot
 The Genealogist Feb 2020 #33
LineLineNew Reply Oh my gosh, how horrible, I'm so sorry.
 MerryBlooms Feb 2020 #36
LineNew Reply Is it treatable or is it
 Jane Austin Feb 2020 #34
LineLineNew Reply Stage IV means the cancer has metastasized.
 no_hypocrisy Feb 2020 #35
LineLineLineNew Reply Hospice is wonderful and a great support
 MerryBlooms Feb 2020 #37

Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:11 AM

Star Member malaise (254,637 posts)

1. It's a horrible way to die

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Response to malaise (Reply #1)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:15 AM

Star Member no_hypocrisy (42,180 posts)

2. For Mom, I think it was the realization of impending death.

Again, without telling her, Dad had her put on morphine, wherein she lapsed into what he called a "coma," but in reality, it was a drug-induced sleep that allowed her to avoid the horror of trying to take a breath and nothing happens. She didn't know.

I was with her at the end, counting the seconds between inhalation and exhalation, until the last breath.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #2)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:09 AM

Star Member chia (2,041 posts)

10. I was with my mom at the end, your words bring it all rushing back:

"... counting the seconds between inhalation and exhalation, until the last breath."

Yes.

There are a thousand thoughts and emotions that rise up just at the thought of those last hours.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #2)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:45 AM

woundedkarma (498 posts)

20. Been there.. it sucks

 

There for the passing of my parents. But lost 4 total loved ones in a couple years. I hate it.

You have my heart-felt sympathy.

It's heart breaking and it hurts to think my kids will go through that some day. Probably sooner than they should have to.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:16 AM

Kablooie (18,078 posts)

3. My dad died with it at 59

He suffered for several years.
I only knew him for 25 years.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:24 AM

NCLefty (3,678 posts)

4. Is this more angst about Rush's false-flag health problem?

Dude just wants more Oxy.

Alleging false flag attacks

In 2010, after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, Limbaugh speculated on his show that eco-terrorists deliberately destroyed the oil well to justify President Obama's deepwater drilling moratorium.[158] Limbaugh also claimed that the media was exaggerating the environmental effects of the disaster.[159]

After the Unite the Right rally and vehicle-ramming attack in Charlottesville, Virginia, Limbaugh defended Trump's controversial response to the rally and claimed that the violence had been provoked by Black Lives Matter activists, Antifa, and Robert Creamer.[160] He also claimed without evidence that the police response had been deliberately restrained by Terry McAuliffe as a botched attempt to start a presidential bid in the 2020 Democratic Party presidential primaries, and that it was part of a campaign by "international financiers" such as George Soros to start a second civil war in the United States to remove its status as a global superpower.[161][162][163] After attention on Trump's comments renewed when Joe Biden criticized them in the announcement of his 2020 presidential campaign, Limbaugh again defended them by repeating claims that some of the protesters were not white supremacists and were protesting the removal of the statue of Robert E. Lee.[164]

Limbaugh claimed that the October 2018 United States mail bombing attempts were perpetuated as a false-flag operation to draw public attention away from Central American migrant caravans.[165][166] He reiterated these claims two weeks after the arrest of the primary suspect Cesar Sayoc, a registered Republican.[167][168]

On his show, Limbaugh has said that the Christchurch mosque shootings of March 2019 may have been a false-flag operation. Limbaugh described "an ongoing theory" that the shooter was actually "a leftist" trying to smear the right. Despite providing no source or evidence, Limbaugh continued: "... you can't immediately discount this. The left is this insane, they are this crazy."[169][170]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rush_Limbaugh#Alleging_false_flag_attacks




#ilearneditbywatchingyou

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Response to NCLefty (Reply #4)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:26 AM

Star Member no_hypocrisy (42,180 posts)

5. I don't think so.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #5)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:33 AM

Star Member Rorey (8,044 posts)

6. That's great!

If I was going to have a tombstone, I'd have something hilarious put on it.

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Response to Rorey (Reply #6)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:13 AM

cwydro (49,108 posts)

7. There's actually a tombstone in the Key West cemetery with that on it.

Without the “bastards” and with the person’s name.

Lots of cool stones there.

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Response to cwydro (Reply #7)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:25 AM

Star Member Rorey (8,044 posts)

8. I love that people have a sense of humor.

My name is actually on my parents' tombstone, but that's as much of me that's going to end up in that cemetery.

Thanks so much to no_hypocrisy for posting this. I'm getting a chuckle out of what I'm finding in my search for hilarious tombstones.

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Response to Rorey (Reply #8)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:24 AM

mgardener (1,592 posts)

11. We almost put

On my mother's tombstone.
" I feel fine".
But we didn't.

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Response to mgardener (Reply #11)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 05:32 PM

Star Member Rorey (8,044 posts)

23. That would have been amusing. NT

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Response to cwydro (Reply #7)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:33 AM

yellowdogintexas (20,467 posts)

13. there is one in Savannah too.

I do not recall that it has 'bastards' on it but it is still pretty cool

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:45 AM

Star Member mitch96 (12,040 posts)

9. All I can say is Karma is a bitch....

Advocate smoking and then get Lung CA..... Now about this climate change hoax....
m

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #9)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:35 AM

Star Member not fooled (5,471 posts)

14. Yeah

It's one thing to smoke, but another whole level of behavior to act as though you believe the laws of nature don't apply to you by flouting being a smoker in a particularly loud and obnoxious way.

The same mindset applies to those who roll coal and engage in other obnoxious actions. In effect they are declaring that they don't believe in science, medicine, etc. I wonder whether limbaugh will ever reflect upon whether his actions contributed to his condition, or whether doing so was worthwhile.




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Response to not fooled (Reply #14)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:39 AM

CaptYossarian (6,448 posts)

16. He'll blame Obama and Hillary.

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Response to CaptYossarian (Reply #16)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 01:09 PM

Star Member mitch96 (12,040 posts)

22. !!! BENGAZI !!! nt

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Response to not fooled (Reply #14)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:41 PM

Star Member Skittles (148,642 posts)

24. it's actually a pretty common symptom of addiction

yup

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #9)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:50 AM

Star Member dalton99a (74,402 posts)

21. I don't believe the fucker will die anytime soon.

He didn't say what stage or type, survival rates vary - and survival also depends on treatment ($$$$)

$$$$ fixed his deafness problem last time


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Response to dalton99a (Reply #21)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:03 PM

OliverQ (3,363 posts)

31. Apparently he said it's Stage IV. That's what several publications reported.

 

Which means it's most likely advanced enough that it's terminal no matter what he does. Just depends on how long he can survive. My guess is less than a year, but who knows.

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #9)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:49 PM

Star Member 2naSalit (70,524 posts)

27. I think of it as karma...

those lungs fed the breath that was used to spew poison for decades. If it's painful, nasty and horrible, he deserves it.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:24 AM

Hawaii Hiker (3,157 posts)

12. Remember Morton Downey Jr., he died of it to

He use to have that talk show on WWOR in NY back in late 80's, early 90's.....He had his phrase "Zip It", and he use to blow smoke (literally) in people's faces when they complained about his smoking...He was obnoxious, but not as vile as Rush

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Response to Hawaii Hiker (Reply #12)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:44 AM

Dukkha (7,341 posts)

18. I remember that show well

He was also a homophobe and would do anti-LGBT rants on his show. Until one episode when his guest was his brother who was HIV+.
Morton also staged a false flag stunt where he was allegedly attacked in an airport bathroom by neo-Nazis. Though there was no evidence on airport security of it, and the swastika on his face was backwards which suggested he did it in a mirror.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:36 AM

CaptYossarian (6,448 posts)

15. I could have written the original post.

My mom quit smoking at least 20 years before the end too. But she didn't want anyone to see her in the hospital, so we weren't allowed to visit her during that last month. She also had no funeral or obituary either. That was Christmas Day 2015, and some of her older friends still think she's alive.

My dad's got dementia and is in assisted living now. He can't really call anyone and didn't call them before his diagnosis either. Mom did all the finances and Dad knew nothing about that, so he bounced checks for 3 months until I took over his accounts. What a mess! The $1400 in fees and penalties didn't help. Now he's in the black and doesn't know. The con man who screwed him pissed me off too. I went to the authorities and the douche got 18 months. I haven't seen a dime in restitution either. (A sibling would have helped with all of this.)

Mom and Dad both quit school in the 10th grade, but I didn't realize how smart Mom was until I got the account. I wish she had shared more with me so I'd have been more prepared. Everything was on the fly while my wife and I were running our own household. Good thing I'm disabled. A full time job would have been too much during this three-ring circus.

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Response to CaptYossarian (Reply #15)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:44 PM

Star Member Skittles (148,642 posts)

25. that comment about your mum

I never make the mistake of confusing education with intelligence - sometimes, they are NOT related

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Response to Skittles (Reply #25)

Wed Feb 5, 2020, 09:26 AM

CaptYossarian (6,448 posts)

38. I never thought she was stupid. I thought she was average.

She quit school because her father became disabled in the mid-50s. My grandmother had to work outside the home making "women's wages" in a very sexist era.

It took both of them to keep the family afloat.

My dad had a similar situation. His father was in a TB sanitarium during that same time.

The difference was that after my mom died, Dad kept spending money he didn't have. Mom was more frugal. Dad wrote checks and never entered them in the register. That part drove me crazy.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:43 AM

Texin (2,478 posts)

17. My former sister-in-law died of it at the age of 42. She only smoked occasionally.

And mostly during her twenties. In other words, she would never have called a smoker. But folks can die of this without ever having picked up a cigarette in their lives. Maybe second hand smoke? Who knows. (Dana Reeves, Christopher's widow, developed it during her mid-forties and she had never smoked).

My former S-I-L had just not felt well for about a month, with symptoms of a bronchial infection, and since it was during the winter, she just didn't think much of it. Oh, BTW, she was a registered nurse - so no dummy, but this caught her up by the short hairs, so to speak. It was state IV. I believe she was diagnosed in late November. She was dead by July, just one or two days after her forty-second birthday. According to my older nephew, who was at the time a LVN, her last couple or so weeks in hospice were absolute hell for her. Fatal lung cancer is just about the most agonizing death a human can face. I'm sure there are worse, but they're probably of shorter duration. This just is one prolonged hideous struggle.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:45 AM

yellowdogintexas (20,467 posts)

19. one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with Stage IV

as her first diagnosis. She never smoked, but we grew up in the heart of dark fired tobacco in KY. Everybody smoked. Crop dusting, all sorts of chemical stuff. Interestingly, her older sister had a similar tumor and their mother had lung cancer which spread to her cardiac muscles. Maybe it was something in the 200 year old house they lived in.

She is now 5 years cancer free. She went to hell and back but she had a fairly encapsulated tumor and ultimately lost a lobe of the affected lung. She went to MD Anderson (from South Carolina) and participated in some new protocols being tested there.

So it can happen but it's a long shot. He is filthy rich and will be able to take advantage of things the average person will never even know about.

My condolences to both of the posters whose mother died of this awful disease.



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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:48 PM

Yeehah (3,692 posts)

26. Limbaugh encouraged others to smoke

and belittled those who fought the danger of second-hand smoke.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:51 PM

Star Member 2naSalit (70,524 posts)

28. One of my parents and one of my sisters

died from smoking related cancers, after seeing that, it is what I would wish on these evil beings. They want nothing less for us.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:56 PM

angrydem666 (9 posts)

29. My grandfather died the same way.

It is, indeed, a horrible way to die. And while I have considerable empathy for people like you, I have none for Rush. Not even a little.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 08:59 PM

Star Member CountAllVotes (20,491 posts)

30. It took my mother too

She was gone in 3 months.

Beyond sad.



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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:26 PM

Star Member musicblind (4,477 posts)

32. It is a horrible way to die.

I don't wish it on anyone, not even Rush Limbaugh.

He's still a monster, though.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 09:47 PM

The Genealogist (4,723 posts)

33. I've been thinking about this a lot

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 8.

I lost my paternal grandmother to cancer when I was 13.

I lost my paternal grandfather to cancer when I was 22.

I lost my father to cancer when I was 33. My stepmother and I stood together and were there when he died.

The son of a first cousin of mine is 33 and currently has brain cancer.

Cancer is a monster. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even Rush Limbaugh.

That said, I find it extremely difficult to muster sympathy for a man whom I feel has done as much as or more than any other single person to fan the flames of hate in this country. He has literally made a career of manufacturing ill will among Americans, and for what? Money and power. He has done his utmost to make misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia and racism not just acceptable, but the norm among his target audience. There are countless people of good will and good deed who suffer with cancer every day of their lives. My sympathy lies with them.

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Response to The Genealogist (Reply #33)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:55 PM

Star Member MerryBlooms (11,271 posts)

36. Oh my gosh, how horrible, I'm so sorry.

I hope your doctor runs blood panels every year to catch anything odd and notes changes in your skin. My husband, his mother, and paternal grandmother all had forms of melanoma and my husband died of metastasized ocular melanoma. My sons are checked out thoroughly every year and blood panels run to check for abnormal blood counts, and so far so good. Their father died when he was 45, diagnosed at 44, so I was a widow at 37... That horrific anniversary is January 14th. My eldest is now 37. Awareness can help break the cycle, but genetics plays a very big role. May you enjoy multitudes of years of excellent health.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:13 PM

Jane Austin (9,199 posts)

34. Is it treatable or is it

small cell?

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Response to Jane Austin (Reply #34)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:28 PM

Star Member no_hypocrisy (42,180 posts)

35. Stage IV means the cancer has metastasized.

Nearly impossible to treat.

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #35)

Tue Feb 4, 2020, 10:57 PM

Star Member MerryBlooms (11,271 posts)

37. Hospice is wonderful and a great support

to patient and family. The focus will be on comfort care.

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