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(9,704 posts)
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 03:22 AM Aug 2012

David Brooks Writes Hysterical Satire -- The Real Romney

Unbelievable! David Brooks (of all people) has a very funny satirical biography of the "real" Mitt Romney -- who, according to Brook's research, was born in 5 of the swing states. It's really quite funny. Here's is a sampling...

Op-Ed Columnist
The Real Romney
Published: August 27, 2012

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil...

...Romney was extremely detail oriented in his business life. He once canceled a corporate retreat at which Abba had been hired to play, saying he found the band’s music “too angry...”

After a successful stint at Bain, Romney was lured away to run the Winter Olympics, the second most Caucasian institution on earth, after the G.O.P. He then decided to run for governor of Massachusetts. His campaign slogan, “Vote Romney: More Impressive Than You’ll Ever Be,” was not a hit, but Romney won the race anyway on an environmental platform, promising to make the state safe for steeplechase.

After his governorship, Romney suffered through a midlife crisis, during which he became a social conservative. This prepared the way for his presidential run. He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed. At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior.


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David Brooks Writes Hysterical Satire -- The Real Romney (Original Post) FourScore Aug 2012 OP
It is a thing of beauty Loki Aug 2012 #1
Mannequin tosh Aug 2012 #2
Why would David Brooks write something like this, especially now during the R convention? Tennessee Gal Aug 2012 #3
K&R for brilliance! Atman Aug 2012 #4
anyone read the comments? I suggest it I love to hear the roghties whine or see in tjis situation rbrnmw Aug 2012 #5
24 million Jujubes!!!! Bake Aug 2012 #6


(3,825 posts)
1. It is a thing of beauty
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 06:33 AM
Aug 2012

and well worth the read. Mr. Brooks just shot a volley across the bow of the garbage barge of the USS GOP/MittWitt. I've been waiting for this since December, 2000! Popcorn anyone? Today should be fun.

Tennessee Gal

(6,160 posts)
3. Why would David Brooks write something like this, especially now during the R convention?
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 07:08 AM
Aug 2012

Isn't he a conservative columnist?

What is he trying to accomplish?

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