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Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:08 PM

 

I hope Trump gives us all the funeral we really want


That is all.

42 replies, 2903 views

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Arrow 42 replies Author Time Post
Reply I hope Trump gives us all the funeral we really want (Original post)
jberryhill Mar 2019 OP
imanamerican63 Mar 2019 #1
RockRaven Mar 2019 #2
Initech Mar 2019 #5
cstanleytech Mar 2019 #18
50 Shades Of Blue Mar 2019 #3
UniteFightBack Mar 2019 #4
lindysalsagal Mar 2019 #6
bullwinkle428 Mar 2019 #7
Kaleva Mar 2019 #8
rickyhall Mar 2019 #12
Maru Kitteh Mar 2019 #36
Solly Mack Mar 2019 #9
Dem2theMax Mar 2019 #10
ifihad2 Mar 2019 #11
rickyhall Mar 2019 #13
milestogo Mar 2019 #14
MarianJack Mar 2019 #15
catbyte Mar 2019 #16
Ponietz Mar 2019 #17
dflprincess Mar 2019 #19
Takket Mar 2019 #20
mahina Mar 2019 #21
ProudLib72 Mar 2019 #22
Marthe48 Mar 2019 #23
ZeroSomeBrains Mar 2019 #24
smirkymonkey Mar 2019 #25
machoneman Mar 2019 #27
smirkymonkey Mar 2019 #30
Generic Other Mar 2019 #26
machoneman Mar 2019 #28
gopiscrap Mar 2019 #31
democratisphere Mar 2019 #29
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2019 #32
treestar Mar 2019 #37
Kitchari Mar 2019 #38
shanny Mar 2019 #33
CentralMass Mar 2019 #34
Maru Kitteh Mar 2019 #35
DBoon Mar 2019 #39
Historic NY Mar 2019 #40
DBoon Mar 2019 #42
Peace06 Mar 2019 #41

Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:09 PM

1. I was just going say the same thing!

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:13 PM

2. Sure, in 2040 in some Supermax's potter's field.

Anywhere else, and if at that location any sooner, would be disappointing.

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Response to RockRaven (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:52 PM

5. He's already 74.

With his toxic diet of Big Macs, Diet Cokes, and Filet O'Fishes, no way he's making it to 90. No way.

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Response to RockRaven (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:53 PM

18. Agreed, I hope its not until well after the 2020 elections where he

will hopefully be kicked out office and then charged along with his numerous co conspirators *glances over at Nunes and McConnell*.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:47 PM

3. I have sparkling wine chilling!

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:52 PM

4. Yes and in a jiffy..............please. nt

 

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:54 PM

6. Don't think I've ever seen a gold-plated coffin....

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:56 PM

7. This fucker is obsessed with TV ratings. TRUST ME - the ratings for this goblin's funeral will

be absolutely OFF THE CHARTS.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:56 PM

8. His corpse can be fed to starving polar bears.

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Response to Kaleva (Reply #8)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:14 PM

12. What you got against polar bears?

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Response to rickyhall (Reply #12)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 11:06 PM

36. Oh, they'll be fine. Their usual diet includes a very thick layer of blubber.

Seals have a lot of fat, too.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 08:58 PM

9. Yes, please.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:08 PM

10. Would it be in bad taste to say

the sooner the better?

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:09 PM

11. oh yeah

... got my red dress hanging in the closet ... just get me that occasion ...

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:15 PM

13. I'm still hoping for a stroke...

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:20 PM

14. He'll put the FUN back in funeral.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:33 PM

15. His own?

Keep eating those "hamburders", Donnie boy.

RESIST!

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:34 PM

16. Well, one thing's for sure...

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 09:52 PM

17. I dreamed how he died

That is all.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:11 PM

19. I wonder if he'll choose cremation

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:12 PM

20. i'll bring the big Macs

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:21 PM

21. HA!

Three points.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:25 PM

22. Complete with the Bone Spur Pipers (Scottish bagpipe band)

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:27 PM

23. planning to pour a diet coke on his grave

running it thru my kidneys first

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:35 PM

24. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens soon

I don't think he is going to be make it through his first term. The way he eats. How he never exercises. How he speaks. I think that he is not well mentally and physically. All it takes is a fall or a stroke or a heart attack.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:41 PM

25. If it is a Trump funeral, it will be what we really want.

That is all.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #25)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:44 PM

27. It will be a totally secret burial or cremation. Way, way too many folks want to piss on his grave..

or worse!

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Response to machoneman (Reply #27)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:46 PM

30. We can just piss on all the properties left with the "Trump" name on them.

He will NEVER rest in peace.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:43 PM

26. Can't wait

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Response to Generic Other (Reply #26)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:45 PM

28. Nice! Didn't see your post before I jumped in above!

n/m

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Response to Generic Other (Reply #26)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:49 PM

31. I love it

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:45 PM

29. There would be a lot of dancing on the grave.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:50 PM

32. A news report of the event:

On a cold December day in Queens, a small group of people gathered in a shabby 50s-era funeral parlor to pay their last respects to a man who was once the so-called leader of the free world – Donald J. Trump. Presidents and ex-presidents are entitled to state funerals, but after Mr. Trump choked to death on a piece of overdone steak in his cell at the federal prison in Otisville, New York last week, his few remaining allies and supporters encountered many obstacles when trying to arrange for such an event. The National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., where services for many former presidents have been held, was unavailable; a representative of the church explained that the Archbishop had “serious theological concerns,” and expressed a strong desire that the funeral should be held at “an appropriate secular location.” Mar-a-Lago, which was once Mr. Trump’s Florida resort and residence, was also unavailable because it was taken in an asset-forfeiture along with most of the rest of his assets following his impeachment and criminal trials. Family members were unable to assist with final arrangements, since of his four adult children only daughter Tiffany remains unscathed and unincarcerated, and she suggested that “they should just double-bag him and put him out on the curb for next week’s trash pickup.” Ex-wife Melania and son Barron have sought asylum in Melania’s homeland, Slovenia, and could not be reached for comment.

The brief ceremony included a eulogy by Roger Stone, delivered via Skype from an undisclosed location in Argentina, and a brief homily by Franklin Graham in which he compared Mr. Trump to Jesus Christ and warned that he would rise again from the dead to judge and punish his persecutors. A bystander, later identified as Michael Cohen, commented loudly that it although it has been three days Mr. Trump remains dead, Mr. Graham appeared not to have heard the remark. When asked why he was attending the funeral, Mr. Cohen, who was recently released from prison upon completing his sentence for election finance offenses, replied that he “wanted to be sure the fucker was really dead.” Others at the sparsely-attended event included former New York Mayor and Mr. Trump’s television lawyer Rudy Giuliani, Fox host Sean Hannity, former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and former Senator Lindsey Graham, who was observed sobbing quietly on the shoulder of washed-up rocker Ted Nugent.

No presidents or vice-presidents, former or current, were in attendance. President Harris was in Brussels, Belgium at a NATO conference, and Vice-President Buttigieg was opening a new federal center in El Paso, Texas, to welcome refugees from Central America. Former President Obama was entertaining children at a holiday party at a D.C. hospital, and 100-year-old former President Jimmy Carter was busy nailing shingles to a Habitat for Humanity house in Georgia. Former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had just left for Africa to open three new AIDS clinics on behalf of the Clinton Foundation. Former President George W. Bush, reached at his home in Dallas, remarked that he’d “rather eat a bag o’ bees” than attend the funeral, and provided a photo of a recent painting he had done of Mr. Trump, which unfortunately is not suitable for publication in a family newspaper. Mr. Trump's vice-president, Mike Pence, was also unable to attend; prison officials declined to give him a day pass for the ceremony.

Pallbearers included Corey Lewandowski, former Congressman Devin Nunes, who appeared to be wearing an ankle monitor, and four unidentified men in red MAGA caps. It was later determined that the men had been hired through a Craigslist advertisement; each was paid $50 in cash. Mr. Trump’s final resting place has not been determined; most cemeteries approached about a location declined, citing concerns for the surrounding turf grass.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #32)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 11:10 PM

37. Awesome

That’s the way it ought to be!

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #32)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 11:29 PM

38. Yes

May it be so--I could not stand it if he got a state funeral.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:51 PM

33. Nah. I don't want him to get off that easy.

 

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 10:57 PM

34. He seens to be wofking hard on the first part.

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 11:00 PM

35. Here here.





DU on THAT funeral day.


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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Wed Mar 20, 2019, 11:37 PM

39. a gas station in Milan Italy?

nt

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Response to DBoon (Reply #39)

Thu Mar 21, 2019, 12:40 AM

40. REgular or super.

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Response to Historic NY (Reply #40)

Thu Mar 21, 2019, 12:35 PM

42. ask the ghost of Mussolini

Partisans hung his corpse at an ESSO station in Milan at the end of WWII

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Response to jberryhill (Original post)

Thu Mar 21, 2019, 05:31 AM

41. Funeral we all want

Best comment of the day!

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